You're More Than My Hero

Time for another fucking journey with the three most fucking mysterious guys in their mysterious (yet awesome) car. We're now off to Dr. Death Defying's(or more awesomely known as Dr. D. Wow, I'm getting used to the word "awesome". Maybe it's because I'm awesome! Yeah, that's it) lair. I think his lair is full of thing-a-majigs that it would make my jaw drop and ask Dr. D,

"Can I live with you?"

Yeah, I'm fucking serious on that. There, I would get to know him and we would be lifetime partners-in-crime... Fighting crime! Wait... Does that make any sense? I know it does... Whatever! I have high hopes for his lair! Don't let me down Dr. D's I-imagined-that-it's-awesome-lair! The new problem is... The stupid fucking awkward and silent aura! Don't they talk to each other about random things like normal people do?! At least act normal for God's sake!

"Hey Mi- I mean, Kobra," Party Poison called. At last! A miracle happened! Someone talks! And hmm...? Mi? Is that... Gasp! I have no idea. Fuck me.

"Yep?" Kobra Kid said, looking at Party Poison. Wow, looking at a close angle, they kinda look alike. Are they brothers or something? If they are, I'm not surprised, they look alike and they both are fucking mysterious. If Jet Star is one of their siblings too, I'm gonna go fucking insane.

"I think Dr. D's lair is near here, right?" Party Poison asked, not minding that I'm staring at him (it's for investigation purposes). Really?! That would be so awe- cool (I need to stop saying the same words. It's... Uncool!)! I then would not endure the fucking aura you three fucking mysterious guys are giving and all of my dreams (most likely, imagination) will come true! I'll be in a super duper cool lair with the super duper coolest guy, Dr. Death Defying! And I won't be with you bitches on your fucking mysterious journey (wherever the hell you guys are going)! You can all go by yourselves and get killed in the battlefield. I don't care, better yet, you can all be my guests.

"Yeah, it's a lot nearer than you might think," Kobra Kid replied. Oh my fucking God... Kobra Kid's giving Party Poison a fucking smirk! The same smirk Party Poison's giving me! Now they look like twins! Maybe they are brothers! Fuck! Shit!

"Nearer? We're fucking here," Jet Star suddenly said. What? We're here already?... Yes! Oh fuck, ye-s? Why are we in front of a pile of planks with spray painting graffiti all over it? Don't tell me... Okay, I need to stop hoping for something, 'coz definitely... It won't happen. On the other hand... Fuck! This is Dr. D's I-imagined-that-it's-awesome-lair! It looks more like a hippie's lair if you ask me! Why me?! Why does all my dreams and hopes have to be always shattered (Jeez, I'm so dramatic just over a fucking place. I'm such a suck up)?! Oh well, maybe what's inside is awesome (Stop hoping, Frank fucking Iero).

Then, Party Poison took the honor again (Does he have to always get that fucking honor?!) to first get out of the car. Kobra Kid and Jet Star followed, leaving me behind... Again. Damn it!

"Dr. Death!" Party Poison called, knocking on the planks. Then, I waited for Dr. D to come out of his lair. With the sight I'm seeing that made me disappointed, do I even have to call his lair a "lair"? It's better to call it "hideout". Lair is just not the right one. Sigh... Fuck it! I wanna see if his cool or not!

"Killjoys?" A voice asked. Yeah, it's obviously Dr. Death Defying's voice. Who else's? Fuck! He's not coming out of his hideout!

"No other," Kobra Kid said, leaning on the car. My eyes are full of anticipation as I waited for Dr. D to come out of his hideout, though I don't know how. Fuck! He's still not showing his fucking face! Which means... Oh no... No... It can't be... He's fucking mysterious too! No! It's literally the end of my world!

"If you're the Killjoys, give me the password first," Dr. D said. A password? Why does he need a password if it's... Wait... Killjoys? What the fuck? I remember Party Poison saying something about Killjoys! Gasp! They're Killjoys! Wait... Why are they called Killjoys? There aren't parties or other fun activities to be literally Killjoys. Now I'm fucking confused, as usual.

"Look alive, Sunshine," they all said in chorus. Fools! Now I know your password! *Insert evil laugh here* You are so stupid! Being careless like that, knowing that I'm here. Kidding. Do I sound cool when I'm acting like a bad guy or a villain? I don't know for myself. Guess I have to test it out sometime. Le gasp! At last! I see Dr. Death Defying for the first time in my life (obviously). Cool! For the first time in this fucking journey of mine with these fucking Killjoys (Killjoys in dictionary means "fucking mysterious, just so you know), I see someone and has a name that's cool! I am so fucking glad right now because of it! He's wearing a bandanna (maybe the U.S. flag? I don't know) and large black shades. He's got a beard and mustache and his hair is shoulder-length. He's all black, like the style of the punk era. Now that's fuckin' awesome for just a DJ.

"Welcome back. How many Draculoids have you killed lately?" Dr. D asked.

"50, I guess," Jet Star replied. What the fuck?! That's a lot of one fella!

"I don't know. But I think it's a lot," Kobra Kid replied. I bet it's a fucking lot.

"A hundred, I think," Party Poison replied. I have nothing to say to you, Party Poison. Fucking nothing. Oh my God! How can you kill more than a hundred Vampire-fuckers with just a fucking yellow (yes, I'm making it specific) ray gun?! I don't know how many bullets you have hiding but that's just... Fuck. Wait, why did I say something if I just said... Fuck! I need to stop thinking now!

"That's not enough," Dr. D said. What?! Not enough?! They killed like more than a hundred Vampire fuckers and you're not satisfied? What kind of motherfucker are you? Do you kill a lot of Vampire-fuckers too? If you are, then... Well... Awesome (back to saying awesome again. Got a problem with that, bitches?). Then, he suddenly spotted me in the car, raising an eyebrow. Ah fuck! He's suspicious of me! Maybe he'll pull out a gun and shoot me because he thinks I'm a Vampire-fucker too!

"Who's that?" Dr. D asked. Phew! I'm saved again!

"Frank Iero," I replied.

"He needs to be treated. He got shot by a Draculoid," Party Poison explained. Dr. D nodded.

"Fine, let him in," he said, walking in his hideout. Now I'm fucking excited! Party Poison then walked towards me and offered his arm. I put my arm over his shoulder and his arm over mine... Again, but it's actually fine, than being carried bridal style. Ugh... Just remember that... What the...? Kobra Kid and Jet Star are snickering about something.

"You two look good together," Kobra Kid said. What. The. Fuck. I officially hate you, Kobra Kid, I really do. If you say the same thing, Jet Star, I swear to God I'll pull out Fun Ghoul and kill the shit out of you guys and kill you in hell if I have to, but instead of pissing me off even more, Jet Star just covered his mouth with his hand, begging himself not to laugh. Ha-ha, very funny, motherfucker!

"Oh really? You two fucking look good together too," Party Poison hissed. Good comeback, Party Poison! Seeing that the two are always together and all! You two deserve it! Fuck you! Boo! Team Frank wins! While Team Kobra Star (What a lame name) loses! Who gets the last laugh now?! Kobra Kid and Jet Star rolled their eyes and sighed... In defeat! Fuck yeah!

Then, we walked in Dr. D's hideout and... Wow... This place is Nirvana. There are posters everywhere on the wall of the greatest bands in this known world! There are lotsa CD's and stuff on the corner. I wouldn't call this my dreamed-imagined lair but fuck! This is like heaven, where you can do nothing but relax and hear fucking good music.

I saw Dr. D already sitting on his chair, and his first aid kit is ready. So...

Fucking get ready, Frank Iero, you'll have the time of your fucking life, which is fucking bad, I suppose.