Into Nothing

Constant Fear
Water is something you can’t get away from
It’s all around you
70% makes up our earth
Now I was scared of all 70%
I got rid of my water bed
I’m buying a dishwasher
I’m taking showers
So I won’t have to face my fear
So I won’t have to face Nathaniel
So I won’t have to fall into nothing

The Supermassive Blackhole
Sometimes,
We lie to ourselves and say,
Nothings wrong.
Sometimes we see stuff we shouldn’t, we take it and lock it away somewhere
But each time we turn the brazen key another rips open
And soon it begins to consume everything in its path.
Once it’s started it won’t stop.

Screams in the night
After everything’s been sucked up
Nothing is left but a frightened being
That is not evil, but has no soul
That can see, but through dead eyes
That can speak, but with meaningless words
No this creatures favorite thing to do is scream
It lies in the wake of her bedroom and screams
Bloodcurdling screams
Then it cries
It wakes up, to pray to some deity that it will,
All
Just
End

The test of time
Graduation, high school was over
Meaningless hugs and farewells
It still hurt
College, bottom of the food chain
Freshmen 15, frat parties, fried Oreos
It still hurt
Becoming an editor for an author
Long tedious hours, followed by a split decision marriage.
That’s when it hurt the most.
Of course that all ended, with me just wishing
it would
all
end.

God has no pity on sinners
I lied to myself
I hid
Said it would never happen again
He would never, ever hit me again.
But he did,
Black eye
whore
Broken arm
slut
Cant’ breath
Bitch
I was
Falling
into
Nothing

Dying
Dying didn’t hurt
I had prayed for it
Living was hard
But our nosy neighbor had butted in
I was brought back
And he got 26 years in the prison.
Something struck me as funny
‘’You know what you did.’’ Jeff said as they handcuffed him

Knowing
The only reason
Nathaniel hadn’t killed me was because living
and knowing was my punishment.
I walked around numbly
I had learned to sleep in the bed
I
Had
Made
Me, not anyone.

Night
I woke to the feel of Nathenial's fingers
They were gliding down my breast leaving behind a trial of water
My breath hitched as he slide my flimsy panties down around my ankles
''Nathenial'' I whispered he parted my thighs climbing inbetween them
In the pale light of the street light I could see him, he looked the same.
He had a button up shirt on and jeans and he was dry.
''Tell me what you want?''He asked leaning down close to my lips
He was dead I knew he was, still I wanted him.
''I want you.'' I whispered