Save Me

Ella slept on the white sheets, the whiteness of them making her look insanely more pale then she actually was, the dark bags under her eyes were similar to the ones on her fathers face.

She smiled in her sleep, and his heart warmed, at least she was enjoying her time when her eyes were shut.

His mind flittered back to the image of a tiny baby girl, with large green eyes and hardly any hair on top of her small head, she’d grin the minute she seen him smiling down at her, her little legs kicking wildly, cooing at him.

Jess would smile sadly as he would smile half heartedly and continue walking straight past, it was amazing Ella still loved him more than anyone, he showed no interest in her.

He honestly couldn’t even bring himself too, it was like looking down at Kristin, as a baby Ella looked hardly anything like her father, but a splitting image of her beautiful mother. He had regrets about the first six months of her life, she had been so goregeous but he’d let that time slip past and he’d never have it again.

She twitched in her sleep, and he thought for a moment she might wake, but she remained still.

‘It’s been six months Zack, I understand you’re upset, but it’s becoming a fucking joke’ Jess’s voice ran through his head, and he was there in that moment again.

‘I cant’ He’d replied, glancing away from the glare Jess was throwing him.

‘I’m going home for a little while, she’s asleep upstairs’ Jess picked up her bag from the counter, before turning back to him ‘You will never get this time back, she will grow up one day, and resent you, you will lose everything that shows you actually knew Kristin’

With that she had turned and left his home, he sat frozen in the spot. Its not that he hadn’t felt anything for his daughter, it was just it pained him.

A loud cry was let out from up the stairs, and he shivered, shaking his head before slowly walking towards her bedroom.

He’d pushed the door open, frowning in the general direction of her sobs, saying nothing he stood there, she had eventually noticed him, grinning, her cheeks bright pink.

He waved at her and she rolled around attempting to ‘talk’ to him, he’d started to approach her, standing over the crib.

Her features had changed again and he hadn’t noticed, she’d lost her mother’s features, and developed his.

Putting her arms in the air reaching for him, she kicked her legs.

He pulled her up into his arms, he was nearly shocked at how heavy she’d gotten since he’d last held her. Taking her down the stairs to the kitchen he sat on a stool and placed her on the counter, just looking at her.

She smiled and blew raspberries in the air, smacking him gently in the face, trying to work her fingers properly to grab his piercings.

This was the exact moment in time when he had warmed to her, his icey heart had melted, she’d become his everything.

He smiled remembering her first word, her first steps; he smiled sadly, hoping she wouldn’t move on.

The room had a sudden smell, like coconut and vanilla, it made his heart sink madly, but it was strange because that’s exactly what Kristin had smelt like, it was so strong for a few moments, before it slowly faded and Ella’s eyes flew open.

‘Daddy, I seen mommy’ She smiled, of course she hadn’t actually ever met her mother but she had seen pictures.

There was no doubt in Zacky’s mind that Kristin had been in the room with him moments before, reassuring him everything would be fine, he felt oddly relaxed for the first time in two years.