Status: ~possibly in the process of being published~
Visual Kei
Sunset Colors
The silver doors opened, giving way to a skinny hallway and we slipped out into it, making our way toward the room. When they opened the door, I was surprised at how small it was. To be sure, it was larger than most, but it was still tiny. There seemed to be room only for a short coffee table, a wrap-around couch, a miniature bookshelf, and a small entertainment center that housed a PS3 and two laptop computers. Beyond that was an open kitchen that was far too cramped compared to what I was used to. There were three other rooms branching off the first, one a very small bathroom and the other two bedrooms.
The men scattered immediately, Kiiro and Chino to the kitchen, Shinji and Rei to the laptops, and Tsurara to one of the rooms. Again, I was unsure what to do, but thankfully, Rei called me over to him with a smile, apparently wanting to show me something on the laptop. We watched some of their interviews with fan-made subtitles (incorrect subtitles for entertainment), and laughed at how it seemed to fit their emphatic gestures sometimes.
Sometime later, I was lounging on the couch, reading one of the many Shoxx magazines that Rei so delighted in. I found the articles interesting, but to be honest, the pictures really caught my attention more than anything else. As I was flipping through it, a noise made me look up, and I saw Kiiro appear from one of the rooms. The outside light had changed since I last looked up and I looked around for a moment, surprised that so much time had gone by already. Chino had drawn the blinds some time ago, but I could see the rich, velvety tones of the sunset leaking through the cloth and onto the carpet. I turned my attention back to Kiiro. He was not wearing his sunglasses, but the distance and lighting hid them from me just as the tinted glass would. The weight of his stare fell on me hardly, as if he were trying to read me, but didn’t quite make out what was there. Neither of us spoke for a time, and I let his eyes rove over my face.
“Are you okay?” I asked, beginning to feel unease under his probing gaze. The sensation intensified as his stare became a glare, sharp and piercing. Light from the setting sun saturated his alabaster skin a pale, warm tint of orange, accentuating the chiseled muscle of his exposed chest and stomach. His toned, whipcord muscle rippled in the fading sunlight as he took a step closer and the two long, straight locks framing his face cascaded down his naked shoulders. “Kiiro… are you well?” I repeated, finally standing and setting the magazine aside. His expression stayed the same and the heavy, anxious sensation followed my movements. I moved to be closer to him until there were only centimeters between us. I could not bring myself to return his stare, however, and instead looked at his collarbone as his chest rose and fell with each breath.
Again, he said nothing, but I saw from the corner of my eye that his hand hesitantly rose to my elbow, but fell back to his side before reaching me. Without a word, he closed his eyes and turned away, returning to the dark room where he had come from. I was left standing in what little remained of the deep colors of the setting sun—alone.
***
When I woke up, everything was still and silent. I lifted my head from the arm of the couch, blearily taking in my surroundings. Everything was muted by shadow, save for a small strip of moonlight that sneaked through the curtains and danced on the carpet like a pale fence, separating Rei and me from the rest of the group. I sat up slowly and tried to rub the sleep from my eyes. Rei was sprawled out, half on the floor and half on the couch, his leg thrown over the back of it while the other dangled freely over the end. His upper half was slouching off the edge, looking as though any moment it would slide to the carpet. I smiled, wondering how he could manage to sleep that way.
Standing, I slid the door open to the balcony and stepped outside. The night air was cool and silky, as though finally comfortable with its temperature. Gripping the railing, I glanced down the narrow street and saw nothing but dark buildings, most significantly shorter than the apartment complex. A group of older men in business suits were staggering down the street, their jackets tossed casually over their shoulders and briefcases in hand. Their voices carried up to the balcony, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I watched them silently, thinking all the while of my father. I wondered if he was doing well, but I realized with a pang of guilt that he was probably lonely.
Then I thought of my mother. Where was she? Was she happy after all this pain she caused us? My grip on the rail tightened until splinters dug into my palms. And where was I for my father? Where was I when he needed me? I bit my lip to hold back tears. The thoughts were sudden and cruel, but I couldn’t stop them. They knotted into one another until I couldn’t tell where I had begun and where I meant to end—and they harshly summoned deep emotions that I didn’t want to feel. Without provocation, a hot tear fell onto the wood beneath my hands. That sound seemed to resonate throughout the empty street.
Struggling to maintain control of my emotions, to rein them in, my shoulders began to tremble. I curled my hands into fists, hardly noticing my nails digging into my palms. A long moment passed and the tears cascaded down my face, but I was determined to bear it silently. When I finally contained my emotion, I turned around and was about to wipe my face when I saw a figure in the frame of one of the doors. Kiiro.
The men scattered immediately, Kiiro and Chino to the kitchen, Shinji and Rei to the laptops, and Tsurara to one of the rooms. Again, I was unsure what to do, but thankfully, Rei called me over to him with a smile, apparently wanting to show me something on the laptop. We watched some of their interviews with fan-made subtitles (incorrect subtitles for entertainment), and laughed at how it seemed to fit their emphatic gestures sometimes.
Sometime later, I was lounging on the couch, reading one of the many Shoxx magazines that Rei so delighted in. I found the articles interesting, but to be honest, the pictures really caught my attention more than anything else. As I was flipping through it, a noise made me look up, and I saw Kiiro appear from one of the rooms. The outside light had changed since I last looked up and I looked around for a moment, surprised that so much time had gone by already. Chino had drawn the blinds some time ago, but I could see the rich, velvety tones of the sunset leaking through the cloth and onto the carpet. I turned my attention back to Kiiro. He was not wearing his sunglasses, but the distance and lighting hid them from me just as the tinted glass would. The weight of his stare fell on me hardly, as if he were trying to read me, but didn’t quite make out what was there. Neither of us spoke for a time, and I let his eyes rove over my face.
“Are you okay?” I asked, beginning to feel unease under his probing gaze. The sensation intensified as his stare became a glare, sharp and piercing. Light from the setting sun saturated his alabaster skin a pale, warm tint of orange, accentuating the chiseled muscle of his exposed chest and stomach. His toned, whipcord muscle rippled in the fading sunlight as he took a step closer and the two long, straight locks framing his face cascaded down his naked shoulders. “Kiiro… are you well?” I repeated, finally standing and setting the magazine aside. His expression stayed the same and the heavy, anxious sensation followed my movements. I moved to be closer to him until there were only centimeters between us. I could not bring myself to return his stare, however, and instead looked at his collarbone as his chest rose and fell with each breath.
Again, he said nothing, but I saw from the corner of my eye that his hand hesitantly rose to my elbow, but fell back to his side before reaching me. Without a word, he closed his eyes and turned away, returning to the dark room where he had come from. I was left standing in what little remained of the deep colors of the setting sun—alone.
***
When I woke up, everything was still and silent. I lifted my head from the arm of the couch, blearily taking in my surroundings. Everything was muted by shadow, save for a small strip of moonlight that sneaked through the curtains and danced on the carpet like a pale fence, separating Rei and me from the rest of the group. I sat up slowly and tried to rub the sleep from my eyes. Rei was sprawled out, half on the floor and half on the couch, his leg thrown over the back of it while the other dangled freely over the end. His upper half was slouching off the edge, looking as though any moment it would slide to the carpet. I smiled, wondering how he could manage to sleep that way.
Standing, I slid the door open to the balcony and stepped outside. The night air was cool and silky, as though finally comfortable with its temperature. Gripping the railing, I glanced down the narrow street and saw nothing but dark buildings, most significantly shorter than the apartment complex. A group of older men in business suits were staggering down the street, their jackets tossed casually over their shoulders and briefcases in hand. Their voices carried up to the balcony, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I watched them silently, thinking all the while of my father. I wondered if he was doing well, but I realized with a pang of guilt that he was probably lonely.
Then I thought of my mother. Where was she? Was she happy after all this pain she caused us? My grip on the rail tightened until splinters dug into my palms. And where was I for my father? Where was I when he needed me? I bit my lip to hold back tears. The thoughts were sudden and cruel, but I couldn’t stop them. They knotted into one another until I couldn’t tell where I had begun and where I meant to end—and they harshly summoned deep emotions that I didn’t want to feel. Without provocation, a hot tear fell onto the wood beneath my hands. That sound seemed to resonate throughout the empty street.
Struggling to maintain control of my emotions, to rein them in, my shoulders began to tremble. I curled my hands into fists, hardly noticing my nails digging into my palms. A long moment passed and the tears cascaded down my face, but I was determined to bear it silently. When I finally contained my emotion, I turned around and was about to wipe my face when I saw a figure in the frame of one of the doors. Kiiro.