Visual Kei

"Why is it that the Asian Food Stores around here never have Kim Chi?" my aunt complained as she walked down an aisle, her lack of a chin disturbing. Another customer, a petite Japanese woman that looked to be about the same age, was horrified at her excessive obesity. "All the ones out where your grandma lives have Kim Chi."

We passed another twelve brands of squid-flavored crackers. Mmmm squid goodness.

"I don't know, maybe ours sucks?" I suggested. She shrugged, the many tablespoons of cottage cheese along her arms jiggling vigorously. "They're always sold out, which is weird because there are only about seven Asians that I know of around here."

"Yeah, but the daughter of the Ake-san is a little stingy. She keeps minimal stock. I heard that she is trying to run the place down and sell it," my aunt gossiped quietly, the pungent scent of salted plum on her breath.

I rolled my eyes. "I guess anything is possible."

My aunt always gossiped. She was just as bad as any "popular" high school student would be. It was quite depressing really. Now all she needed was six-figures worth of liposuction, about the same in breast implants, Botox, a fake tan, and a miniskirt that is way too tight and she'd be set. I shivered at the thought.

She picked up a package of Hello Panda for my cousin as she passed the Japanese candy section, and a pack of dried lemon peels. I felt nauseated as she forced me to smell them. It reminded me of the hand soap that my Nazi grandma had.

"Personally, I miss Ake-san, simply for the fact that he ran this place much better than she is. This is ridiculous… I can't even find fresh sushi!" she complained. I just nodded and followed her, thinking how she had mannerisms like my mother, but with her own bitchy twist.

I stood behind her with a strawberry flavored Ramune in one hand and Yan Yan in the other. The cashier was none other than Ake-chan herself, and my aunt gave her a dirty look as she waited for her to finish ringing up my things. Glancing over, I wanted to slap her across the face. It was embarrassing for a grown woman of blood relation to me to be acting this way in public. I handed Ake-Chan a five dollar bill and left with my aunt.

The only reason that I was out with my aunt was she felt bad for me because my mom was gone. She normally didn't want much to do with me. She was upper-middle class and I was complete lower class. Not to mention that I was a bit… different than what she had wanted her niece to be like. She always complained that I was too butch.

"Your mom moved in with your grandma in Montana," my aunt said out of nowhere. "She asked me to take you out there sometime. Would you like that?"

"I don't know. I don't want to leave Arvin and Dad."

"What's left here for you, anyway? I understand that you care about your dad, but he's a grown man and so is your brother. I think your dad should get his head on straight and think about putting his life back together."

"I think maybe you should stop talking about my dad," I snapped.

"What's wrong with it? I'm merely pointing out truths."

"Sure, my dad hasn't made the best decisions, but he's done a pretty good job raising my brother and me. I couldn't do any better and neither could you. Obviously, my mom couldn't, either, and that's why she decided to leave."

"Don't be so hard on her. You know that things weren't working out between your parents. Are you certain that you don't want to go live with your mom and grandma?"

"No," I answered right away. "She left and didn't think twice about it… or me."

"Don't say that, you know your mom loves you."

"Do I?"

The mountains were beautiful in summer.

"You should. She's been taking care of you and your lowlife dad for seventeen years now. God bless her heart. Speaking of God... you should really attend church more."

That's another thing I hated about my aunt. She was such a religious freak, and she tried to force it down my effing throat. I couldn't count the times that she gave me the speech about how God loves all of us and blah blah blah. Not that I listened much anyway. The moment she said "it's important to believe in something", I would tune her out. That was her introduction to that stupid speech. She tried to convert me a long time ago, and she was persistent. Most people gave up when they got bitched at, but she wasn't one for quitting… that is, unless you meant work.

"Dad's not a lowlife," I retorted, with equal bitchiness.

My aunt grunted. "You don't have to protect him, you know. What has he done for you? Besides, he's a grown man. You're only a teenager."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I demanded.

"You should have respect for your elders," she said, searching for a way to feel in control. "That's probably why your mother left."

In case you're wondering, no. No one pissed in her cheerios this morning.

"Respect is earned," I snapped. She pursed her lips.

She pulled into the parking lot of my apartment and I got out of the car quickly, before she could start talking about the woman that gave birth to me again. I went inside and opened my Ramune.

My apartment was a mess before, when that guy attacked me. I don't know who exactly cleaned it up, but I knew it was one of the guys. All of them refused to fess up. There were new windows and all that nice stuff. We even had new furniture.

Arvin was already home, sitting on the new couch. He was playing a video game on our new Playstation 3, his eyes glazed over much like Denka's, as he stared at the screen. I handed him the Yan Yan and sat down, thinking of the best way to ask about going with him to work.

"How was quality time with the Asian Nazi?" he asked. That was what he called my aunt. She didn't like white people usually, especially my father. "Did you have a good time?"

"It sucked, as usual. How was work?"

"Not too bad. I hired a new assistant manager who is actually worth a damn."

"That's good." I wondered if he would still take me in with him. "I was wondering, since I'm free tomorrow, if you would mind taking me into your work again?"

"No problem," he answered almost immediately. "You know where that extra uniform is, right? Same place as always."

My brother saved a female uniform from where he worked for whenever I wanted to go in and help him work. He used to take me into his job often, but that always ground to a halt during the school year. I went to his room, avoiding looking at everything except his dresser, where I knew I wouldn't stumble into anything gross. I made that mistake once. Big mistake.

I opened the middle drawer and took out the uniform.

I pulled out the cell phone that Ivy had bought me. "Plans are a go," I texted Shinji.



I pulled down on the uniform again. This was an extra-small uniform, and it fit me since I was 15, but now my boobs were getting too big. Thank God it was my boobs and not a beer gut or something. I walked next to my brother, pretending to be his secretary until we entered the building. I could feel Chino's mind lingering at the edges of mine. It was a slightly unnerving feeling, but Chino was very careful as to not invade my privacy.

There were a handful of armed soldiers at the checkpoint, making sure my brother had his I.D. and all that. We passed easily, as I had expected, although two of them were a little too interested in me. It was a little gross.

The building itself was not much different than a skyscraper that you might see in a largely populated city. It was a plain building without a logo or sign and tinted windows. The main doors were cast-iron and heavy. Arvin opened the door, sliding the heavy lock into place again. Inside the building was very plain as well, except for the advanced technology. Arvin led me to where his team worked: a small room near the front of the building.

I had been to this room once in the last six months, but the way it looked never faded. The room was dim, but not without lighting. Seven rows of flat screen computer monitors were stationed throughout the room, six of those seven rows filled. I stared at each of the people, taking in as much detail as I could. Chino had stopped channeling me. One of the grunts looked around nervously and I knew that he was the one that Chino had channeled.

Now I had to get to business. I took a seat near the back and began to clean out old folders, re-directing the majority of the system firewall where it was necessary. A few hours of this and I felt fried, like I felt after standardized testing. I pulled out the cell phone to check the time every now and again. I was beginning to get a little nervous. I wondered how the guys were doing.

Suddenly, Arvin left the room. An hour or so later, he appeared with a strange look on his face. As soon as he reappeared, he came to where I was sitting and quietly told me to get ready to leave. He led me out to the car.

"I have some… interesting… news," he announced.

"Yeah?"

"My boss just gave me some new orders today, which will affect both you and Dad. I'll need to tell him and have him call you out of school." Already, Arvin was thinking ahead. He scratched his temple. "I've been called out on a business trip to Japan for a month."



"Come on, Alice, you like pineapples, don't you?" Rei asked.

"Yeah, but," I began.

"It tastes like pineapple juice, so you will love this!" Rei insisted, pushing the glass of blue slush in front of me again. It smelled like a blend of tropical juices. "Come on, Alice, you'll love it. I promise! Pleeeeaaaaase?"

All of the guys were sitting around, similar cups in their hands. They were all watching me, gauging my expression and enthusiasm. Rei was grinning.

I sighed. "Okay, I'll try it." I put the glass to my lips and tilted my head back, expecting the bitterness of alcohol. It actually did taste like pineapple juice. I sucked down half of it, my mouth numb with the coldness. "That's amazing," I admitted. Rei giggled.

"Told you!"

I was sitting with all the guys. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood. We were rejoicing because everything was going right for once and this was about to be our last day in the United States for a while. Even Tsurara was excited.

"Chug, chug, chug!" Everyone cheered as Rei held up three beer bottles, showing off how much he could drink at once. He managed to put all three bottles to his lips and drink all three of them at the same time. It was pretty amazing. He smiled and some of it trickled down his lips.

"Jagerbombs, anyone?" Shinji called from the kitchen. Rei, as always, was the first to volunteer. He came back with a bitter-smelling drink. He chugged it quickly, and his breath smelled like black licorice. That was one drink that I wouldn't try.

"I am party animal!" Rei bellowed, leaping onto the couch and landing on top of Kiiro. It sounded painful. Nobody broke anything, although Rei complained about it hurting for an hour afterwards, but for some reason, continued to giggle.

"Quit putting the moves on Kiiro!" Chino scolded. "That's someone else's job." He sneaked a look at me, and giggled hysterically, the rest of the guys (other than Kiiro, who sat there with a smile) laughing along with him. I blushed, and couldn't manage to bite back a witty retort.

"Here, try this!" Rei insisted, handing me another drink. "Don't worry, it's about as mild as the other one you had. It's made from Margarita mix, how bad can it be?" He grinned deviously, and I smelled the liquid inside before taking a sip. It smelled safe enough, and tasted delicious.

"I like it," I replied, gulping down the rest. Then he offered me something a little more potent. It tasted like cherries, but it had the obvious aftertaste of alcohol. I assumed it was made with Vodka or something similar.

"It's good!" He got me another drink and another… and before I knew it, there were empty cups covering the table and I was feeling way too good. I began to imitate the announcer on a Japanese game show and I knew that was it for me. I couldn't feel my legs. I was flying. "Yay!!" I screamed as I jumped into a pile of pillows. I started laughing hysterically, Rei jumping on top of me and the pillows. We both started cracking up. "Ewwwh, you have a boner!" I slurred, pushing him playfully. "Sicko!" Then we both started laughing again. I couldn't breathe. It hurt my stomach.

"You are cut off!" Chino exclaimed with a chuckle. His face was beginning to turn pink, too. I could tell that he wasn't nearly as drunk as we were, but he was getting there. Rei pushed me back and I fell into the pillows, laughing.

"Try it!" Rei insisted. "It's fun." Chino laughed, set down his drink, and leapt on top of us both. We both said "oof" as he landed on us, a splash of Rei's beer soaking his front.

"Aww, crap!" Chino mumbled. "Ugh, is not even Heineken…"

"Doggie pile on Alice!" Rei called. Everyone laughed. Shinji jumped onto Chino, Tsurara onto Shinji, and Kiiro onto Tsurara. Good thing they were all the size of preteen girls.

"Owwie," I whined, my complaint muffled by Rei's arm. "Doggie pile on Shinji!" I called. Everyone stacked on top of each other all over Shinji. This continued for what seemed like a few minutes. Before long, I was really tired. I yawned. We were all sitting or lying around.

"I can't walk right," Chino managed, hiccupping. "I can't feel my legs." Then he started to giggle again. I joined him, brushing a lock of hair back from my face.

"Me either," Shinji agreed. "I'm going to have a bad hangover tomorrow."

"Eh, quit your whining," Tsurara said too loudly. "I want another Jack and Coke." For about ten minutes, he attempted to stand, but couldn't. After the fifteenth attempt, he gave up with a sigh, which caused Chino, Shinji, and Rei to launch into a giggle fit.

"Man, you guys are lightweights!" Rei laughed. "You have no idea what a real party is. Just wait until we go to Japan and party with Kyo from Dir en Grey! That guy's a crazy!"

"Who are you calling a 'lightweight', Rei? I think I had about two more than you! Besides, Jager has a higher proof than what you were drinking," Shinji reasoned. "I think Alice out drank us all, though."

The guys admitted defeat to me and I couldn't stop laughing, especially when Tsurara tried again to stand and get himself another Jack and Coke. By the end of the night, I was pretty sure that nobody moved too much.

Chino was draped over the armrest of the couch. Tsurara was lying on the kitchen table, Shinji over the back of the couch, and Rei near the foot of the couch. I was nearly passed-out on Kiiro's lap. We were on the porch, but I wasn't too sure how we got there. We were both drunk off our asses. I hoped I didn't throw up on him… that would be pretty nasty.

"You're really drunk," he chuckled, his own voice slurring nearly beyond recognition. His deep voice was comforting. I laughed. One of his hands held my waist and the other was around my shoulders. I closed my eyes, leaning into him, as my head buzzed. I could smell the soju on his breath. "Do you want to sleep next to me tonight?"

"Sex," I giggled. I knew I had a big, stupid smile on my face, but I was too drunk to care. He carried me to his room and set me on the bed before stumbling over to the other side. There was a noise as he set down his sunglasses on his nightstand. I wished I had the energy to look over, into his eyes. I barely felt the bed shift under his weight. His lips were near my ear, like Rei's had been, but there was a different feeling altogether. He was cold.

"I will protect you," he promised, his deep voice echoing in my head. "I promise."

"I know," I replied lazily, my fingers somehow finding his. He didn't move away. His strong hand held mine gently, our fingers entwining. I knew that his defenses were completely down then, but I was too content with just sleeping.



The moment I opened my eyes, I regretted it. I shut them immediately, a head-splitting migraine brewing in my skull. Every little noise made me cringe in pain and the light was no better. "Gah!" I gasped, gritting my teeth at the noise. The back of my throat began to water. If I didn't do something, I was going to throw up. Needless to say, I had a really killer hangover.

I was exactly where I remembered being last: Kiiro's room. When I looked painfully around for him, he was nowhere in sight. I hobbled out of the room, holding my head in agony. Heading to the kitchen, I winced at the light. Everyone was still passed out in the same place that they had been earlier. I took out six glasses and filled them almost full with water. Hobbling over to the refrigerator, I pulled out lemon juice and added a few drops into each glass and a pinch of cumin to each glass, as well: the home-made hangover remedy. I downed my glass. I sat down in the nearest seat, massaging my temples.

Rei was the next to stagger in, looking just as happy as I was. He cursed. "This sucks!" I motioned for him to grab a glass and drink. He downed it and sat next to me, doing the same thing that I was doing. Before long, Shinji came around, followed by Tsurara and Chino. I was beginning to feel better not long after Chino came into the kitchen. Everyone present had drunk the home-made remedy. There was only one lone glass, one for Kiiro.

"I assume none of you know where Kiiro is," I said, my voice sounding tired and a little bitchy.

"No clue," Rei replied, after a time. Shinji, Chino, and Tsurara all nodded in agreement.

"Aren't you in the least bit worried?" I asked.

"Not really," Chino answered, gaining color in his face. "Sometimes he goes out for food before the rest of us do. He's a strange eater."

"He should be back in a few hours, depending on how long he's been gone for," Shinji commented idly. "After everyone feels well enough, I'd like to go out."

"I don't feel like going anywhere," I said. "I might take a walk later, but that's about it. I'm sorry, Shinji."

"Tsurara, will you go with me?" he asked. Tsurara nodded.

They left within twenty minutes. Rei was feeling much better, as was I. He began to play guitar, so I stepped out for a walk. I walked toward the mountains, a spot that I knew quite well since childhood. On my way there, I saw Kiiro. He didn't seem to see me, but I tried to get his attention. He still didn't seem to notice. He had been chasing a man holding a purse that looked like the strap had been cut. Kiiro had this thief in an alley, cornered. The thief withdrew a knife, his eyes horrified. Kiiro was on the man within seconds. I thought perhaps I had just seen things. I blinked. It looked like he was hugging the man to him. The purse fell to the ground, a small case of eye shadow rolling out onto the ground. He held the man for a few moments, before disappearing into the darkness of the alley. I followed him, going only close enough to see them. He was bent over the man slightly, although I clearly remembered the man to be taller.

I must have made a noise with my foot because Kiiro turned then. His gaze darted across the alleyway, his expression that of a feral cat. He dropped the thief's body, whose limbs were bent at strange angles. All of his movements were fluid, quick, and precise, like a great leopard. His lips were red with blood; some of it began to run down his chin, staining his teeth. He snarled silently, his upper lip curling at the corner, a threatening gesture. Death again took a piss in my body, the ice-cold fear rooting me where I stood.

That was not the Kiiro I knew…

Before I could force myself to move, he had me against the wall of the alley, in the darkness. I couldn't breathe. He was holding me by the neck. His iron grip forced the life out of my eyes. I struggled. "Kiiro," I managed; a pathetic sound. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the dead thief's body on the ground. Fear stilled my heart. My lungs ached as my heavy arms struggled to pry his fingers away. Going numb, my hands limply rested on his wrist. I tried to gasp in air, a strangulated sound forcing its way out of my throat. Gravity began to pull me down, tried to steal my soul from me.

My vision began to go brown around the edges. I focused on his glasses. "Kiiro," I said inaudibly. Suddenly, I hit the ground. My vision sprang back. My legs hurt. I struggled for breath on my hands and knees. Taking in huge breaths, I coughed and it hurt more. I felt tears spring to my eyes unwillingly. There was something warm underneath me. The thief's blood was pooling under his body and it had begun to spread toward my hands. I was too oxygen-deprived to move.

"Alice…"

He bent down, wiping the blood from his lips. He brought me to a stand, his hands gently on my shoulders. I looked at the angular, masculine planes of his face. He was still beautiful, but he was something dangerous, however fractionally. I was torn between fear and desire. His hand went to my face, to wipe away my tears. I flinched unwillingly. He turned his head away from me and slightly down, as if he were ashamed.

"Alice, I'm so sorry," Kiiro murmured softly, trying his best not to frighten me. "I'm so sorry." He repeated it over and over again, even as I stood.

"You couldn't help it," I managed in a hoarse whisper.

Kiiro continued to stare at the ground. I waited a moment to catch my breath before moving past him and taking the purse that had fallen on the ground. I returned it to the woman who had been screaming "thief" for the past half hour and she thanked me vigorously. When I returned to the alleyway, he was gone.



When Kiiro returned, he refused to look at me. I tried to ignore how hurt I was. Chino had asked about the marks on my neck. I couldn't tell him. I pretended to be tired, and I retired to Chino's room for the night. I couldn't help but think of Kiiro. Of what he had done, what he was… how could I like someone like that? How could I like someone so dangerous, someone who almost strangled me? Was it like Stockholm's Syndrome? I struggled to contain such thoughts. It seemed like mere minutes before I felt the bed give under Chino's weight. He slid in beside me and said goodnight.

I repeated his sentiment, but I could not bring myself to say anything more. Kiiro lingered in my mind. His face, the mystery of his eyes, and his mannerisms. Why was he running away from me now? I closed my eyes and tried to resist the lurching of my stupid heart. Beside me, Chino was still trying to get comfortable.

Kiiro had almost killed me this afternoon, his vicious bloodied fangs dripped with the blood of a human, thief or not. He had taken the life of another, and almost my own, but I still wished that I was sleeping beside him tonight.