I've Got Luck

"I'm so sorry," Sammy says as she hugs me.
I smile weakly when we part, "thanks."
She moves along and I'm embraced by more family and friends. Eventually, we're told to sit and I follow mom, Eric at my side, as we go to sit in the front pews. As I go to sit, I glance around and my eyes land on Alex, he's already looking at me. He gives me an encouraging smile and I sit down, Eric taking my hand, gently squeezing it. The priest begins the ceremony and halfway through, as he talks about my grandma as if he knew her himself, I begin to cry. Eric wraps his arm around me, our hands letting go and mom taking one. I stare at the casket the whole time, mad that my grandma is inside it. We finish and make over to the cemetery to say our final goodbyes.
“Thank you for being the biggest part of my life,” I say, ignoring the fact people are around me and act as if grandma is in front of me, “you and mom have always been the most trusting people in my life and I’m devastated to have to say goodbye to my best friend. I love you and I'll see you again someday.”
I place a white rose on her coffin and walk back over beside Eric and his arm wraps around my waist. Mom goes up and speaks for a couple minutes. She kisses her rose and places it next to mine and joins us. Eric rubs her arms a little and she gives him a weak smile and looks at me. I pull her to my side and rest my head on her shoulder as the final words are spoken and we watch as grandma is lowered into the newly made grave. I don’t know how long I stay there for but when I look around, most people are gone.
“Come on,” Eric says, “I’ll take you home before work.”
I give him a small smile, “you go ahead, I want to stay back a little.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod, “I’ll catch a ride with someone.”
“Okay,” he says unsure but after a minute, he realizes I’m fine, he kisses my forehead, “call me later.”
I nod, “I will. Thank you for coming.”
I hug him and his arms wrap around me as we stay there for a couple minutes. We part and he slowly begins to head off.
“I better head inside,” mom sighs.
I look over at her, “okay. I’ll come in soon.”
She nods and hugs me. I kiss her cheek and we part and I watch her walk back inside for the after thing. I never knew what it was called, not the after party because it’s not a party. It’s not fun. I just know there’s food, drinks and people visiting. Maybe it is a party? I sigh as I push those random thoughts away and look at the grave. I kneel down, despite my dress and just stare at the little sign in place for the tombstone. I don’t notice I’m crying until I feel a drop hit my hand. I wipe the tears away and sigh.
“Hey,” I hear behind me.
I look behind me and see Alex.
“Hi” I say quietly.
He comes beside me, kneeling too.
“Thanks for coming,” I sniffle.
He smiles a little and pulls me into his side, “I’m always here for you.”
I rest my head on his shoulder, “thank you.”
I feel his lips press gently to my hairline.
“How come you’re not inside?” I ask, looking around now seeing that it's just the two of us.
“Jack is being fucking annoying,” he chuckles, “and I noticed all but one person was in there.”
I pull back and look at him.
“I wish I could have been up there supporting you,” he says quietly, pushing some hair from my face, “without anyone freaking out over it.”
“You came, that’s all that matters to me.”
He smiles a little. I sigh as he stands, holding his hand out to me, I take it and stand up.
“Let’s go deal with these people,” he says, his arm wrapping around my shoulders as we walk.
“Yippee.”
He chuckles lightly, “I saw that Eric left. Whenever you want to leave, tell me.”
I stop and Alex does too. I smile a little and hug him. He stumbles a little, surprised but he hugs me back.
“Thank you for being a good friend,” I whisper.
He stiffens under my grip and I quickly realize. Alex doesn’t want to be my friend.