Status: hiatus.
Face Value
Four
I headed down the colourful halls of the art block in this god forsaken place. I’ve always wondered why school is mandatory. I mean, we come here every day to learn things we already know or probably will never use again in life but yet we’re here, for 6 hours a day, 30 hours a week, learning this shit and getting our asses kicked. Wonderful isn’t it?
As I neared the darkroom, the door opened and the boy with the ever so infamous red hat popped his head out checking to see if the coast was clear. I had a spare so I didn’t have to worry about teachers sending me tosolitary confinement self-serve detention. Which is a stupid punishment; they sit you in an old class room, by yourself, so you can “reflect on your actions”.
“Hey Kieran, how’d it go with Tara?” Raz asked as I approached the colourful door labelled ‘DARKROOM’.
“There was nothing she could do. I can’t switch out and I know that if I stay in that class I won’t survive. Raz, I can’t fucking do it. I can’t.” My eyes started to sting and cloud up as reality started to set in.
“Again, dude, you gotta calm down. It’s just music. I think your mom would be happy if you did it.”
“It’s because I don’t want to be reminded of her Raz. SHE LIED TO ME. SHE CHOSE TO LIE TO ME THEN LEFT ME. Am I just suppose to accept that and move on?” My voice waivered.
I looked around the empty hallway, hoping no one was around or could hear our conversation.
“Kieran, it doesn’t matter what your dad, or your aunts or uncles or anyone in your fucking family says okay. Your mom loved you. She did, without a doubt that’s why she kept it a secret from you Kieran.”
He moved farther into the hall and pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back, resting my forehead on his shoulder. I hadn’t noticed I was crying until I say drops of water on Raz’s uniform polo.
I quickly moved away from him and apologized for getting his shirt wet. He brushed it off.
“ I can’t do it Raz. Even if she did love me like you said. I can’t. It’ll just hurt too much.”
“Well,” he sighed, “You’re going to have to do it, whether you like it or not. So as much as I hate to say this to you Kieran, suck it up.”
“Are you serious?” I looked at him incredulously, “What kind of friend are you?”
He looked at me with a sad smile.
“I’m not your friend, remember?”
He walked back into the darkroom, leaving me alone in the hallway, and more alone than I have felt in a while.
As I neared the darkroom, the door opened and the boy with the ever so infamous red hat popped his head out checking to see if the coast was clear. I had a spare so I didn’t have to worry about teachers sending me tosolitary confinement self-serve detention. Which is a stupid punishment; they sit you in an old class room, by yourself, so you can “reflect on your actions”.
“Hey Kieran, how’d it go with Tara?” Raz asked as I approached the colourful door labelled ‘DARKROOM’.
“There was nothing she could do. I can’t switch out and I know that if I stay in that class I won’t survive. Raz, I can’t fucking do it. I can’t.” My eyes started to sting and cloud up as reality started to set in.
“Again, dude, you gotta calm down. It’s just music. I think your mom would be happy if you did it.”
“It’s because I don’t want to be reminded of her Raz. SHE LIED TO ME. SHE CHOSE TO LIE TO ME THEN LEFT ME. Am I just suppose to accept that and move on?” My voice waivered.
I looked around the empty hallway, hoping no one was around or could hear our conversation.
“Kieran, it doesn’t matter what your dad, or your aunts or uncles or anyone in your fucking family says okay. Your mom loved you. She did, without a doubt that’s why she kept it a secret from you Kieran.”
He moved farther into the hall and pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back, resting my forehead on his shoulder. I hadn’t noticed I was crying until I say drops of water on Raz’s uniform polo.
I quickly moved away from him and apologized for getting his shirt wet. He brushed it off.
“ I can’t do it Raz. Even if she did love me like you said. I can’t. It’ll just hurt too much.”
“Well,” he sighed, “You’re going to have to do it, whether you like it or not. So as much as I hate to say this to you Kieran, suck it up.”
“Are you serious?” I looked at him incredulously, “What kind of friend are you?”
He looked at me with a sad smile.
“I’m not your friend, remember?”
He walked back into the darkroom, leaving me alone in the hallway, and more alone than I have felt in a while.
♠ ♠ ♠
(:sad and short