Love is a Pretty Tragedy

[Chapter 13]

Henry's POV

Should I go or not? I want to go so badly, but I shouldn't go. It would just cause more confusion for her, but I needed it more than I ever expected to. I sat up from my bed and looked around my shabby bedroom. A twin bed, plain desk that had papers scattered all over it, a dresser and a few posters on the walls. I took a deep breath and got up and left my bedroom deciding that going was better. I may never get another chance, and I couldn’t keep spending all of my time in these four walls.

A few moments later, there I was standing in front of Estelle's house. I still felt a little lightheaded from teleporting. I looked into the glass window, and my reflection appeared, or at least Ethan's did. Shapeshifting, teleporting, mind reading were various things I learned from Shawn. I loved how these pills were that I was able to transform anytime I wanted, even stop myself from transforming at night. How badly I needed this before, I could have been with her every night. We could have maybe had a life together. More each day Shawn raved in a nonchalant way of how I advanced much faster than anyone he had ever seen. I never asked how the pills worked. I was just amazed at what they did to me and the new powers that I never wanted to go away.

I looked in the window one more time before ringing the doorbell. I ruffed up his short, sandy brown hair which was much different from my own shaggy, dark brown. I pushed the small white button, which caused a very loud ding-dong.

The door opened quickly. I instantly recognized the person who opened the door as the man who hates me, also known as Estelle's dad. A huge smile formed on his face, something that never appears when I'm around. "Ethan. I didn't expect you to show today. I thought we decided you would wait a few days." Estelle's dad said softly.

Ethan and Estelle's dad know each other? They plan dates for the two of them? "Sorry, sir." I said, not really knowing what to say. I would have never expected this to happen. Did Estelle know about her father and her love interest working to set them up? Maybe coming was not such a great idea.

"It's okay, son." Estelle's dad said with a slight chuckle before calling Estelle down the stairs. He calls Ethan, son? "Just don't forget to call me to update me on the progress." Call on the progress? What? This was something I wasn’t expecting.

Estelle came down the stairs. "What do you need?" She said with a smile on her face. She looked more beautiful than ever. She was a bit tanner, and her hair was longer. She usually looked perfectly sun-kissed in the summertime. She was feeling better and the sun caught up to her quickly. Other than that she was the same girl I told I didn't love. It broke my heard to see her. Once she saw Ethan, or me, her smile faded, but soon replaced by a fake one. It seemed to fool her father. I guess she didn't like him as much as I thought.

Estelle's dad urged me forward. "Oh…um...I just wanted to know if I you wanted to hang out. I mean, if you aren't doing anything." My half smiled appeared on my face, but I quickly changed my expression. Although, it was too late; it seemed like she recognized something.

It took her a second, as look of excitement filled her eyes. "Sure." She took another long glance at me." Let me just grab my shoes." She said running back upstairs.

Once we were outside, so many thoughts were running through my head that I could barely talk. I don’t know if I expected her to be available, but then at the same time, I needed to figure out how to be careful as Ethan. I didn’t want her to like him.

"Sorry, I hadn't really planned anything. I just wanted to see you." I said shyly. I should have studied Ethan better, I have no idea how to act like him. I noticed he had an accent, which thankfully flowed seamlessly. How close were they, would it be appropriate to poke fun at her, flirt, hold hands? What if she figures it out?

"It's okay, I'm glad to get out of the house. I feel so suffocated most of the time." Estelle said watching the cars pass us as we walked along the sidewalk.

"So it's bad?" After I said that, I regretted it. I didn't want to say anything that could hurt her again. I had hurt her too much already. I didn’t even really want to hear it; I would beat myself up even more for what I did.

It didn't matter though, she answered anyway, "Not all the time. Let's just say that I think too much when I'm alone." She pulled one of her curls behind her ear. "So where are we going?"

"Well, um…" I only knew one spot around here, and that would be our spot. I was a better planner than this.

Estelle smiled, and I couldn’t help to smile myself. Something I hadn’t done in so long genuinely. "We could go to the park. We are almost halfway there. I wanted to go there anyway. I've picked up drawing recently, and there is a great place to sketch that I can show you." She said picking up her pace. She was better off without me, picking up a passion, moving on with her life. Maybe I did need to see this side of her.

The park was just what I was expecting it to be. It was very normal, which was something I hadn't had in a while. The kids were laughing and chasing each other around, while the mothers were chatting away on the benches nearby. Birds chirped in the trees, and the squirrels were off in search for acorns. Behind the park, there was a great forest so dense that you couldn’t see through it. "Let's go into the woods." Estelle already started taking off so I had no time to protest, even if I wanted to. I followed her past tree branches and annoying mosquitoes. Finally, we came to a spot that was a little bit more cleared out. There were a few stumps and less branches. One of the stumps even had something engraved into it, but I didn't get to see what it was because Estelle sat down on top of it. I sat across from her on another stump.

“I’m guessing that this is a place that you used to come to a lot as a child.” I said assuming, Estelle had never told me about her adventures down at the park, but it was close to her house.

You could tell that she was thinking back to all the times she had spent here. “I was quite a tomboy, believe it or not.” I imagined a mini-version of Estelle with bruises and scratches up and down her legs from rough-housing in the woods. She probably had cute pigtails and overalls, and the courage to take on anyone. “What’s the smile for?”

I didn’t even realize that my smile was a mile wide. “I was just imagining what your times here must have been like. This is one awesome clubhouse to have.”

“It was great.” Estelle looked around her. “I haven’t been here in so long...” Her voice trailed off, as I realized she wasn’t speaking to me anymore. The conversation trailed off as she was lost in her memories of a happier and simpler time - before I came into her life and before her brother died.

"So what does the engraving say?" I asked curiously and to strike up conversation again. Unlike, Estelle and I, it didn’t seem like Ethan were comfortable with silences.

She didn't answer right away, "It was something me and my brother wrote."

I had no idea what to say to this. Did Ethan know about her brother? What could I say? I have to say something, and all I could think of was, "Oh." I felt stupid.

"He's not here anymore." She said softly, tracing the engravings with her finger. "Not anymore." She repeated.

It was my natural instinct to comfort her, embedded in me through years of loving her. I moved over to where she was sitting and wrapped my arm around her. "Go ahead and cry, babe." I whispered into her ear. I never gave her the proper time to mourn. Then it hit me, I used the word babe. It was only me that called her that. She didn't seem to care though and looked up at me with her chocolate, brown eyes with tears close to the rim. She bit her lip, and then closed her eyes. A single drop landed in my hand. I slowly moved closer and closer until our lips touched. It was so perfect, almost better than before. Neither one of us pulling away until what seems like forever. Her warm tears melted into my cheeks. Estelle finally pulled away with a shocked expression on her face.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," but I cut her off with my lips. I had to take the opportunity. I had no idea when I would get another chance to kiss her. It could be forever, literally. I had missed her so much, but I knew this was wrong for both of us. I didn’t want to make her fall for Ethan. A silly part of me thought she could see that it was actually me.

She was the one to pull away quickly, but I apologized this time. "Sorry that, that was...let's go back." She nodded in agreement, still probably shocked from the kiss. We both walked away from the engraved stump, not being able to see what was written.

The walk home was painfully awkward. It was the most awkward I have ever felt with her. Everything always had come so naturally for us. Thankfully, it was only a ten minute walk to her house, even though it felt like much longer. Finally, we reached her front doorstep. I felt like I messed up so much.

"I really didn't think I would break down like that. I don't want you to think of me as the kind of girl that is overemotional and cries all the time." I couldn’t believe that she was the one that was apologizing. If anything it was my fault, I had caused her so much pain and I wasn’t there for me when she needed my love most. She had handled the situation so well for what I had put her through.

"I don't. I promise. Let's just forget this whole day happened." Please let her buy it. "We'll start fresh and we can move at our own pace." I crossed my fingers that she would buy it.

"That would be amazing." She placed her hand on her doorknob. "You know you’re a different person than I thought you were." Before I could ask her what she meant by that she was already in her house. She couldn't have figured me out yet, could she?