Love is a Pretty Tragedy

It had been two weeks since classes had started, and it was becoming a routine. Get up, go to breakfast, walk all the way across campus to classes, lunch with a few new people, homework, then repeat. It was difficult to concentrate as I hadn’t spoken to Henry since that day at our spot, and of course couldn’t stop thinking about him and everything that was said.

“That’s all we will discuss of Keats’ “Ode to a Nightingale” today. Please read the next assigned poems listed on your syllabus. Have a nice a weekend.” Just as quick as that, my English teacher gather her belongings and scurried away even quicker than all the students. I imagined that she might have a fantastic weekend planned, maybe with romantic candlelight dinners and long poems, just what you would expect from an English teacher. Dr. Jean was much more interesting than my sophomore teacher Mrs. Hall. However, English was the most challenging to pay attention in without thoughts running through my head of the first time I spoke to Henry.

I now gathered my laptop into my bag and grabbed my keys. “Finally the weekend, lots of studying to do though. Where do you want to grab lunch?” My new friend Hannah asked as she threw her oversized purse over her shoulder. I really was trying. It seemed that everyone was so eager to make friends, after coming here with none, that it was simple. However, I knew that they didn’t really know me. Not that they didn’t know that I would one day be a vampire, but I didn’t reveal any real details about my life, just the basics. I barely participated in conversations at lunch, and I had only been to one party that Aly had dragged me too. I had no motivation to get involved.

“Umm how about Pierce? They have the made-to-order sushi on Fridays.” I followed Hannah out of our small classroom. For a freshman, I had all fairly small class sizes. None of those large lecture halls that most freshmen are in.

“That’s right I forgot about that.” Hannah was from New York, and I could hear her accent in every word she spoke. It was nice to have friends from different places and perspectives. I guess that was the type of exposure that I always wanted and never could get from my small town. It would amazing if I could one day visit her; New York was always a place I wanted to travel to. Henry and I could do all of the tourist things, and perhaps even go over the holidays to see the big tree in Rockefeller Center and go ice-skating. “Any plans for the weekend?” Hannah asked as we headed toward the dining hall, and I was interrupted from my brief daydream.

I truly had none, but felt that was embarrassing to admit straight out. I could tag along with Aly somewhere, but I really didn’t want to. If I went anywhere with Aly that would mean that Ethan would be close behind. It was still extremely awkward between us, and thankfully he had worked on avoiding me as well. “Not yet. What about you?”

“Well tonight,” Hannah started, but my phone began to vibrate. I didn’t want to be rude, but I had to check.

“Sorry one second.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw Henry’s name flash on the screen. My heart stopped before it began to flutter. “It’s my boyfriend.” I felt he had come up at least every day, so she knew who he was. “This might be a while; I don’t know if I can go to lunch.” I tried to look sorry, but I truly wasn’t. I was too excited to be sorry.

Hannah looked upset. “Well who am I going to eat with? Tell him you will call him back. You shouldn’t isolate yourself.”

“Hello.” I said as I answer my phone and started walking the direction of my dorm. I could hear Hannah’s exasperated sigh from behind me before she walked off. I was really bad at this making friends thing.

“Babe.” I missed his voice so much.

“Henry! Why didn’t you call sooner? I was so worried about you.” I took a seat on the grass toward the corner of the quad. There were a couple of groups of friends enjoying the last warm days of summer here in Chicago. A few were playing Frisbee while some where just laying out chatting and laughing. I knew I would never have that here.

“Sorry, sorry. I went to go see our leader Edmund, and he has such great news. However, I had to get started immediately and didn’t have a second to myself. There is so much to tell you; I just wish I was with you.” I wished he was here too; more than anything would I want to spend the weekend with him.

“Teleport here. Can’t you do that? Or are you still not taking the pills?” I didn’t truly grasp all the powers that Henry had now.

“Well, that’s part of his plan; we are going to kill Shawn. I came back to the apartment, and Shawn had killed Keane like he had threatened. I went to Edmund, and he is actually his father and has seen how power crazy Shawn is. There is this dagger that I will have that will kill him, but first I have to train with Shawn and act like nothing has changed. So I can’t come see you yet because Shawn doesn’t trust me at all yet. I’m going to get my revenge for everything he has done to us and especially for Keane. He deserves it for everything he put on the line for me. Once Shawn trusts me I will ask for a few days off to see you because I miss you more than you know Estelle. I’m doing this for us and to erase all the mistakes that I made while we were apart.” Henry sounded anxious as he said all of that without taking a breath. I wondered how long he had to talk.

“Calm done babe. You are talking so fast I can barely understand you. I’m so sorry about your loss.” I stood up and started walking to my dorm, Blackstone, as more and more people seemed to be getting out of class and filling up the quad.

Henry let out a deep breath. “Sorry, everything has been so crazy. Really don’t worry about anything though; I’m completely focused. I miss Keane like fucking crazy; I even moved into a new apartment about a block from my old one. I want to hear everything about college though. Has it been everything you have dreamed about? Have you been out into the big city? Meet so many famous people and friends that you can’t even keep track of everyone’s name?”

“Henry!” I had to shout his name to make him stop with all the questions. “I’m in Chicago, not LA. No famous people sorry.”

“I thought certainly Oprah.” Henry was trying his usual humor, but all I could let out was a nervous laugh. I was concerned about this new wired and restless personality. Maybe this was a side effect of the pills that he was talking about; he said he truly didn’t recognize himself. It had been a few months since we had talked every day, but I don’t remember him being anything like this.

“Well sorry to disappoint, I’ve been trying though. With everything that has been on my mind, it has been difficult. There are a couple of new people that I go to lunch with and hang out with sometimes. Of course, I see Aly and Ethan all the time too. I miss you so much sometimes that I can’t even sit through a lecture or have the motivation to go outside my dorm room.” I admitted. I was completely lonely here, no matter how many new friends I had made.

“Estelle.” Henry said quietly. “You should be having the time of your life, please have some fun for me. If it wasn’t for me, you would be enjoying college so much more. I don’t want to mess up any more of your life.”

“You’re not--” I started.

“Just don’t worry about me. Appreciate this time please,” I could hear how much sincere remorse was in his voice. He really was putting this all on him, which wasn’t the only reason why I was having such a bad time at school.

“This school has been your aspiration even before you met me - to go there and get away from this small town forever. I remember how excited you were when you got your acceptance letter, and how you didn’t think that you would get in because of that one C you got in World History. You finally made it.” Henry reassured me.

“You’re right.” I barely spoke into the phone. I wanted to listen to him, but it wasn’t so easy to put all of these thoughts into the back of my mind. A significant question rose in my mind. “What about the pills after we kill Shawn? Will you have a supply of them?”

Shawn’s threats scared me. If there was no cure for Henry, I wasn’t sure I was ready to help him kill Shawn. I couldn’t take this man killing anyone else in his path for power. I would give him the power before he killed Henry.

He didn’t speak for a moment, but I could still hear him breathing so I knew it was there. “Edmund could continue to provide me with the pills.”

“That’s great news!” I was ecstatic. We could go through with everything now.

“Babe, you never saw me on these pills.” His voice was significantly calmer. The excitement seemed to transfer from him to me, as he sounded drained. “I can already feel them pulsing through my bloodstream, but even more powerful this time. I’ve been obsessed with this mission. I don’t even have any furniture in this new apartment, just the bed from the old one. I spend all my time training and working out, making sure the plan is completely perfect. It’s weird because I realize what this is doing to me, but I can’t stop being obsessed with my new powers coming back and killing Shawn. It brings me such joy to see him being fooled that it just isn’t natural Estelle.”

I wanted to hear him out, but it didn’t make any sense. I felt as if I could cry right there as groups of friends were laughing, ready to enjoy their weekend. I looked up and saw Aly and Ethan walking up to the dorm. They didn’t see me, but from the angle I was sitting at, it appeared as if they were holding hands. Now I definitely didn’t want to go upstairs to my room, but this conversation with Henry wasn’t going so well either. “But-but I thought you wanted to be with me, and would do anything for that to happen?” My voice cracked as I fathomed that he would consider the alternative.

“Don’t talk like that.” It was almost an order. “We can talk more about this later. I don’t want you to get upset right now.” Too late I already was. “First we will focus on Shawn, and then we will decide together. I’ll come visit soon, and I have to rush to see him now actually. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I replied with a smile on my face, but I looked down at my phone and saw he had already hung up.

I slowly walked up to my dorm room not even noticing my surroundings; I would spend my second Friday night of college mopping in my room. It was a relief to see a note on our dry erase board when I went it. Went out with some new friends with Ethan. Text me if you want to tag along. -Aly

Tagging along was not something I desired to do. I needed to let Aly have her own friends without me always as an extra. She was a natural at making friends so it wasn’t really a wonder to me to why she already had so many. However, I was glad to change into my comfy shorts and tug the comforter over my head.

Chicago was my dream, but I wasn’t happy. I didn’t have any friends, Aly and me were growing apart. I thought that I had Henry back in my life forever only for that to be taken away by him once again. It didn’t seem fair. In a way it seemed, the most crucial part of college for making friends had passed me; I seemed to be isolating myself always thinking about Henry. Everyone was starting to find their group, their interests and be excited about what was to come for the rest of the year.I felt like my grades were going to suffer because I barely paid attention in class; I will do the homework but that won’t be enough. I was glad to now get this call. I couldn’t truly be mad at him because these pills didn’t make him feel like himself, even if I had never seen it myself. I needed to take in this experience and learned from it, for this would be my only chance as a human, my last few months to live in the simplicity of it all.

I hopped out of my bed and grabbed my phone. I scrolled through my contacts list, and found Hannah’s name. I would apologize for earlier, and hope that she would now let me in on her plans for tonight. I needed to let Henry take care of his own mistakes, and live out the dreams I always had.