Wildfires

The yellow tape with police
Printed all over it doesn’t
Stop us from parking by the sidewalk.

Desiree assures me that
She can figure out what happened
Without me seeing all the gory remains.
Iwanttoseethemsobadlythough.

She gets out of the car and
Begins to talk to one of the officers
With a somber look on her face
For about fifteen minutes.
Then she leans into the open window
On the passenger’s side
With more bad news
Than I can handle at the moment.

Ana repeats it for me
Because I’m having an anxiety attack:
Autumn didn’t die because
Of her system failing like you
Thought it would, Iris;
She died of suicide.

S u i c i d e .

Questions race through my mind
But the one question I want to ask
Is very clear to me.

Do you know if there was a suicide note?

The words spill out before I can stop them;
They’re even faster than my tears.

I chew on my lip and close my eyes
As Desiree nods slowly,
Starts the car,
And tells me she’s taking me home.

Ana & Mia grace me with their presence
In the form of their ethereal limbs
Around my small overly large frame.

I wonder if Ryne knows about the letter.