It's Too Much to Bear, the Weight of the World

The four of us walked to the park, Josh decided this would be a good time to question me, this didn’t help the fact that he intimidated me. I stuttered out answers and said ‘um’ a lot and I got even more worried because I thought that would piss Josh off.
“By the way, you’re not put off by Sean’s forwardness are you?” he asked, frowning.
“Not at all,” I said, lying the tiniest bit “So he is gay?”
“DOY!” exclaimed James, smacking the side of his head, “Extremely!”
“Aled’s gay too but he prefers to keep that one quiet. Has he told you already?” said Gavin.
“Is he? No he hasn’t said anything to me. Are him and Sean... y’know...?”
“They deny it but sometimes we highly suspect it, you might not have realised it cause you haven’t know them that long but it seriously looks like there’s a spark there” Josh said and the other two nodded their heads in agreement.

Sean and Aled were sitting under a huge tree when we found them, throwing conkers into the air and catching them, they did look like they could be together, it was cute. James picked up a conker and tossed it at Sean, it thwacked him on the back of the head.
“OI!” Sean screamed, spinning round and glaring at James “That hurt you wanker!”
“Boo frickin’ hoo!” laughed James, he mocked Sean by wiping his hands under his eyes, the fake crying kind of way. Sean jumped to his feet and made a run for James, before he had time to react Sean had him pinned to the ground, his legs straddling James’ waist.
“Get off me gay boy!” shrieked James trying to push Sean off him “Don’t want you raping me!”
An awkward silence fell over the six of us. Aled and Gavin bit their lips, I looked around aimlessly. Sean got off James and stood up and without saying a word he ran in the other direction. James sighed and looked at us, probably wondering what to do.
“Should one of us go talk to him?” I asked, deciding to be the bold one.
“Yeah... but not me, I’m pretty sure I’m the last person he wants to see” sighed James guiltily.
“Gustav you go, you’re clever!” said Gavin pointing at me.
“Yeah go on Gussy!” said Josh with a small edge to his voice, that scared me, so I ran down the path Sean had walked calling his name out, scanning through the trees for the bright flash of golden, blonde hair. Nowhere to be found.
“SEAN!” I yelled, my hands cupping round my mouth.
“What!?” snapped the quiet little voice I recognized.
I spun round to see Sean sat atop a tree stump a little further down, I galloped over with no less than a welcoming smile, he edged over to and signalled me to take a seat all the same.
“Are you alright?” I asked, sitting next to him.
“Yeah just angry I suppose,” he said, bowing his head “James hasn’t said anything like that before.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t a personal attack at you, he was just joking around” I said.
“I’m sure he was,” said Sean, not sounding convinced at all “Anyway, why’d they send you after me? They usually send Aled if I storm away.”
“Josh told me to go after you because I’m the smart one, apparently” I scoffed.
“Well true. You are rather brainy Gustav”
“How can people know this about me? Do I give off a nerd vibe?”
Sean laughed whole-heartily and patted me on the back, “A funny vibe too!”

After I convinced Sean to join the rest of the group James apologized and we were all happy families again, we spent the evening climbing up this little waterfall in a secluded part of the forest, we all ended up quite wet by the end of it and muddy, to add. I knew my dad would flip out, he was having another one of his bad days, plus he didn’t know where I was, I was doubly dead when I get home. I didn’t tell the others about it though, they’d probably feel guilty or laugh at me for being such a daddies boy. I just felt sorry for Annie, she had to put up with him while I was gone.

“Gustav where do you live?” asked Josh, when we all squelched home in our sodden trainers.
“The small street, quite near the school, I don’t know the name yet...” I sighed.
“Fraser Street?!” exclaimed Sean, skipping a little “That’s where I live!”
“Oh good, I won’t get lost on the way home!” I said, gladly.
“Unless Sean gets you two lost on purpose” James muttered in my ear, I looked at James then looked at Sean who was still skipping along the road, he hadn’t heard then.

Sean walked me to my front gate and looked at my house in awe. He glared up at the tall walls with his mouth wide open. To be fair the house looked at as if it’d been built for a lower-in-the-throne member of royalty. Huge windows, beige walls and a huge front door.
“Whoa! I never knew you stayed here, it’s the biggest house in the area!” he said, impressed.
“I don’t like it, too big, too much room,” I laughed “Anyway, I’m gonna go and eat! I’m too hungry!”
“Same now you mention it!” giggled Sean, he held his arms out and grinned at me, “Goodbye hug?”
I smiled adoringly at him and tightened my arms around his back, I hadn’t hugged anyone it so long it felt quite good to feel the warmth of another person on my being.

The tricky thing with this door was there was no sneaking in or out. It was too heavy to close quietly, it always made a thudding noise. The house was really echo prone as well, the thud of the door could be heard from upstairs sometimes. I stepped inside and attempted to shut the door slowly but with it being so heavy it slipped from my hands and banged closed. Then I heard the footsteps. Dad appeared in front of me, glaring down at me with a grumpy expression.
“Where the hell have you been?!” he bellowed.
“I was out... with some friends” I said quietly, fairly frightened.
“Where?! Friends?!” he continued to shout “Oh you mean that little blonde bimbo you were hugging outside!? What’s his business with you?”
“His name is Sean...” I wondered whether that was the correct thing to say as my dad’s eye twitched a little.
“I don’t really CARE what his name is! From now on you come straight home from school!” he screamed, shoving his face into mine, his bad breath filled my nostrils and flecks of his spit slapped me on the face, “Are we clear Gustav!?”
“Yes” I yelped, running passed him and up the stairs. Pretty pathetic running away from my dad but in case that didn’t give a good enough hint, he is a scary man. Annie was standing at the top of the stairs frowning at me. I couldn’t tell if it was sympathy or if she was mad I hadn’t came home.
“You okay?” she asked, quickly squeezing my hand.
“I’m fine seriously. Did you get any shit off him today?” I asked.
“Only this” she said, her voice wobbling, she pushed her bright red fringe back to display a purple bruise on her forehead, “I spilled coffee on his shirt.”

If you think my dad was bad with me then you should see the way he treats Annie. Dad doesn’t hit me... as often as he hits Annie. She was usually kept off school, so nobody would get suspicious of the bruises. Mum never gets suspicious either, she was at the local bar, getting drunk and cheating on my dad with god knows how many guys. The only time she was sober was between 8am and 9am, a small window which I used best I could.
Annie was a year older than me, which made her 15. There was a reason dad loathed her so much. It’s because Annie wasn’t his daughter, mum had an affair but they stayed together, for whose sake? Nobody knows.

Me and Annie stood in the hallway in silence for a little bit, going over the horrible life we had behind closed doors, both too scared to tell anyone.
“KIDS?!” dad yelled from downstairs, we glanced at each other and sighed in despair, I clutched her hand and we walked downstairs, mentally preparing ourselves for what was about to come.