We Are Nowhere

The summer holiday had been fun, full of secret projects that Winifred could hide from her parents. It was their secrecy that made them all the more interesting in her eyes, otherwise those events would have been nothing more than days out. But she kept them secret from her parents and therefore all these things became a hundred times more interesting and thrilling, like that time when she had said that she needed to go to Diagon Alley to buy some school stationery, but she had instead spent hours exploring muggle London. She had done nothing but wander down the streets, really, but it was muggle and her parents didn’t know, and that was enough to make it thrilling. Or that time she had snuck out of the window to see a music show. It had been great, really. The band had been amazing. But all the time she had been terrified of what her parents could do if they found out. Other than that, the holiday had been filled with sunbathing in the garden, reading a mountain of books, writing letters to her Hogwarts friends and sitting through endless dinners and tea with her parents, trying to hold back remarks and comments that she wanted to make.

Winifred had enjoyed the holiday as much as she always did, yet that year more than ever before she had rejoiced in the fact that the summer was drawing to a close and that the time to return to Hogwarts would soon be upon her. After five years attending the school, Hogwarts was at least as much home to her as home was, and after the excitement of the first few weeks of holiday, she always began to miss it, and that feeling only just grew as the days passed. When she returned home, it was as if she abandoned a part of her personality of the platform of Hogsmeade station.

When the day came to return back to school, her parents accompanied her to London, much like they always did. But, as was also their habit, Anton and Valeriana Willows did not walk with her along platform 9 and ¾ to wave their daughter goodbye from the train window. No. As they always did, they said goodbye to her at the entrance of the station. Valeriana, always the less emotional of the two, turned around after having given her daughter her last recommendations for the year that was to come. When Winifred was younger, she would accompany these recommendations with a rapid kiss on the cheek, but even that form of affection had disappeared when her daughter had grown up. Anton stayed a little longer, wishing his daughter a nice year as he placed two hands on her shoulders – his awkward version of a goodbye hug. Then he followed his wife.

Winifred watched as they disappeared in the crowd, wondering what she was supposed to feel about the situation. Then she chased the thought with a shrug of her shoulders and headed towards the platform.

All around her, there were parents tearfully bidding their children goodbye, promising to write and send treats, and making the young students promise to write in exchange. Winnie’s parents had never been like that, but she didn’t care much. At a younger age, she would have worried that perhaps her family wasn’t normal, but now she didn’t really care about it anymore. The platform was so crowded that she quickly gave up on finding her friends and roommates. Instead, she hurried inside the train and stopped at the first empty compartment that she found. There, she snuggled into her seat, making herself as comfortable as possible, and then she reached in her bag for something to read as she waited for the train to depart.

“Hey! There you are…”

Winifred looked up from the copy of Transfiguration Today that she had opened only a minute or so ago, and directed her gaze towards the door. There was a boy leaning in the opening, already dressed in his Hogwarts robes. He had the Slytherin crest embroidered on his chest, and a small badge was pinned next to it. Winifred smiled faintly at him.

“Good morning,” she said quietly, before returning her attention to the article that she had begun to read.

The boy, whose name was Anthony Somerville, frowned at her reaction. “Is there something wrong?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Winifred replied, still not lifting her eyes from the article. “Is there? I haven’t heard much from you during the summer. But I assume that you were too busy in… what was it again? Paris? Nice? Or somewhere in Greece or Spain?”

Anthony had the decency to look embarrassed, even if it only lasted a few seconds. “It was Portugal,” he said, looking down at the ground. “Small town inhabited by just wizards on the Atlantic coast. I meant to write more, but it’s just, you know, it sort of slipped my mind.”

“Yes, I guessed so. I supposed you had other interests there,” Winifred said bitterly.

Anthony’s eyes narrowed. “What exactly are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything.”

“You were trying to say something…”

Winifred laughed. “Whatever you think,” she said evasively, waving one hand in the air. “Anyway. I hope Greece was nice enough. It would have been a shame to waste your precious time.”

“It was Portugal.”

“Oh, was it? Sorry, it must have slipped my mind.”

“Anyway,” Anthony grumbled quickly. The conversation had not taken the turn that he would have wanted. “I can’t really stay for long, I’ve got my prefect duties.” As he said that, he pointed at the small badge on his chest. “I gotta make sure everyone gets on the train…”

“Uh, uh,” Winifred muttered distractedly.

“I’ll see you at Hogwarts, right?” Anthony insisted as he closed the door.

Winifred didn’t answer. There was no need to. He was no longer listening anyway.

Just after Anthony had left – at the exact moment the train moved off with an abrupt bump – the door of the compartment was opened once more. Or, rather, it was thrown open, revealing an extremely disheveled girl.

“He could have held the door open for me, that prat,” she spat. “He could tell that I was going to come in here.” She sank down in one of the seats opposite Winnifred, and brushed the hair off her face. “I honestly don’t understand why you would date him, he’s such a… urgh. Honestly?”

“Good morning to you too, Marissa,” Winifred said with a smile.

“Yeah, mornin’ Freddie.”

“Just for your information, Mar, Anthony and I aren’t really dating.”

“Did you dump him, then?”

“You can’t dump someone you’re not officially with. We’re just occasionally hooking up.”

Marissa was silent for a moment. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “If you’re trying to make me throw up, you’ve nearly succeeded,” she said conversationally. She picked up the magazine that Winifred had abandoned on the seat, and flipped through the pages. “Somerville’s a disgusting Slytherin prick.”

“My entire family went to Slytherin,” Winifred reminded her.

“And no offense, but they’re pricks too,” Marissa said.

Winifred laughed quietly. “None taken. I completely agree. But Anthony’s not all bad.”

Marissa shook her head. She did not believe a word of it, but she did not want to upset her friend. She chose to change the subject, to avoid an unwanted argument. “Can you believe that I nearly missed the train this year?” she asked. “A few minutes later and I don’t know what I would have done.”

Winifred smiled. “Funnily enough, I can believe it.” Marissa made it a habit of always being late. How she did it was a mystery to everyone. But it was a fact. Marissa was always late for everything.

Marissa looked outraged for a moment, but she could not stay like that for longer than a minute. She quickly smiled, broadly. “Anyway,” she said. “Where’s everyone else?”

By everyone else, Marissa only meant a handful of Ravenclaw students: Penelope Bennett, Dorcas Hawthorne and Maggie Burrows, who were the three girls with whom Marissa and Winifred shared a room in the Ravenclaw house, as well as Allen Meadowes and Egg Brocklehurst who were also going to start their sixth year at Hogwarts.

Winifred shrugged her shoulders. “I haven’t seen anyone.”

“D’you think they’ve missed the train?”

“All of them? Nah. They’re probably off somewhere, doing Merlin knows what. I mean. Dorcas and Allen are certainly up the front with the other prefects. I don’t know where the rest of them could be, but they’ll probably appear at some point.”

“Hum. I don’t know. I hope they’re not getting in trouble.”

“Pff. In trouble… How was your summer?” Winifred asked.

“Same old, y’know. Nice enough, I suppose. We went to see my grandparents in Spain. But they were a bit of a pain, really. They don’t really get the whole ‘witches and wizards’ thing. Apart from that, I didn’t really do much.”

“Nothing special. You know my family. It’s always kind of boring to be around them. So. What about the OWL results…”

Marissa smiled. “I was wondering when you were going to bring the OWL’s in the conversation,” she said, amused. “I’m quite happy with the results, but I had to explain every subject to my mum, and I could see from her face that she wasn’t thinking much of it. She doesn’t see what I’ll do in life with what I learn at Hogwarts.”

“You can’t blame her, though,” Winifred said. “She didn’t even know about magic before you received your Hogwarts letter, so you can’t expect her to understand everything.”

“Why must you always be so understanding?” Marissa protested. “Have a bit of compassion for me here. I honestly think that people underestimate the difficulty of living in a muggle family.”

“Talk about your family, but it’s not easier in a wizard family. My parents were furious when they checked my OWL’s and saw that I’d gotten an E in Muggle Studies.”

“You shouldn’t have shown them the results… But I don’t understand. An E’s good enough.”

Winifred shook her head. “It wasn’t the ‘E’ that was the problem. It was the fact that I had chosen Muggles Studies.”

Marissa laughed. “Merlin!” she said. “When I told you that your family was full of pricks, I was right, wasn’t I?”

Winifred was about to reply something, but before she could do so, Marissa’s face changed suddenly, her gaze turning blank as she stared at something outside the compartment. “What’s going on?” Winifred asked, but Marissa just shook her head. “Oh, I get it. It’s the food trolley, isn’t it?”

Marissa’s smile widened. “Yes!” she said victoriously, before disappearing through the door. When she reappeared, it was to sit back with her arms full of sweets and her pockets rather empty of money.

“You have a problem,” Winifred stated. “Addictions like that ought to be taken very seriously, you know.”

“Oh, shut up!”

“Alright, alright. So, what d’you think’s going to happen this year?”

“Oh, easy… first week’s gonna be all cool and stuff, Egg’s gonna try and get another party going, and Dorcas’ gonna freak out and try to stop him, and Allen’ll have to come between them. Then shit’s going to go down. I mean, I bet you that they’re going to ask us to do so many things and learn so much stuff that there’ll be no time for anything else.”

“It’s not going to be that hard…”

Marissa shook her head. “You bet it’s going to be. I reckon it’ll be worse than last year.”

“Last year was OWL year,” Winifred said. “There’s nothing that big coming up this year.”

“That doesn’t mean that it’s not going to be super hard to get through.”

“I think you’re wrong about that one.”

Marissa shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t think I am, but we’ll see… Anyway, will you try to get back on the quiddich team this year?”

Winifred winced. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I was kicked out.”

“You were banned for a year, and anyway, Bletchley’s left, they’re gonna need a new captain this year.”

“That’s not changing anything.”

“Well, Penelope’s been on the team for the longest I think. There’s a good chance that she’ll get the badge. She’d be glad to get you back on.”

“Nope. I’m not doing it.”

“You used to love quiddich.”

“Yeah, but it bores me now. Can we talk about something else?”

Marissa rolled her eyes. “Fine, what do you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know… Oh, wanna hear some gossip?”

Marissa smiled widely. “Always! What’ve you heard?” she answered, her eyes twinkling.

“You know Sirius Black, right?”

Marissa had an amused smile. “Everyone at Hogwarts knows Black. Half the school fancies him.”

“More than half the school, I’d say. But anyway… Did you know that he ran away from his home this summer?

Marissa’s eyes widened. “Ran away, as in ‘ran away – left his parents’ home and lives on his own?”

“Yep, except apparently he’s not living on his own but camping out in Potter’s garden or something.”

Marissa was silent for a moment. “Well,” she said eventually, “I always thought that he was a bit of a prat, but I’ve got to admit that that is something. I’ve listened to you talk about the world that you grew up in for years now, and it doesn’t seem like something that you walk away from without consequences. He’s got balls…”

Winifred chuckled. “Yeah, he’s quite famous for that too.”

“No, seriously,” Marissa said, shaking her head. “It takes quite a bit of courage to do that, really.”

“Yeah, probably, but it takes quite a bit of stupidity too, if you ask me. ‘Cause there’s no turning back from that kind of decision.”

“But maybe that’s what he wanted. I mean, you complain about this all the time too, wouldn’t you want to be rid of it all? Not having to worry about all of these things anymore, all that they ask you to do?”

“And abandon everything? No. That would break my parents’ hearts. Well, I don’t know about their hearts, but it would ruin their reputation, and that’s everything to them.”

“But you can’t live your life for other people.”

“Yeah, but I’d be ruined if I gave it all up.”

“Not necessarily…”

“Still, I’m no Sirius, I would never have the guts. And I don’t know why we’re talking about it, cause I’ve never even considered it.”

“Even when you learned about it? How did you learn about it, by the way? I bet it’s the kind of gossip that’s been circulating around your kind for the whole summer. People must be outraged.”

“Oh, yeah, but that’s not exactly how I learned it. Actually, he told me. Before he left, he told me he was going to get away.”

“Really?” Marissa asked curiously. “I didn’t know you were friends to that extent…”

“Oh, we’re not,” Winifred said quickly. “We’re not even friends – well, at least we haven’t been for years. Life outside Hogwarts is no different to life at Hogwarts in that aspect. We’re civil when we come across each other, but that’s all. Sirius loves bragging about stuff, and I just happened to be there when he wanted to do so about that particular situation.”

“If you say so,” Marissa said doubtfully.

“I do say so,” Winifred said, “and I’d even…” but before she could finish her sentence, she was interrupted when the door of the compartment that she shared with Marissa was opened rather suddenly.

“Ha, there you are!” exclaimed a shorter guy wearing a large dark blue sweater that made him look even thinner than he was. “Been searching for you guys…”

“Hi Egg,” Marissa said. “How are you doing?”

Egg smiled, ruffled his hair, and dropped himself on a seat. “Wonderful,” he said.

“You sure don’t sound that way,” Winifred muttered.

“Actually, I was wondering if you guys wanted to help on some – uh – project.”

“What kind of help?” Winifred asked.

“What kind of project?” Marissa asked.

Egg ruffled his hair and smiled.

“Stop ruffling your hair,” Winifred said, rolling her eyes.

“You’re not up to some mischief again, are you?” Marissa asked.

Egg sighed. “Marissa, light of my life, no one’s your equal when it comes to planning and organizing things. Imagine, just this year and next year, that’s all that we’ve got left to make an impression and enter Hogwarts History. You do want to enter Hogwarts History, don’t you? People got to remember you, you know.”

“People are going to remember you, Egg,” Winifred said. “Even if just for that party last year where the curtains ended up on fire.”

“Thanks Freddie. Oh, the look on Flitwick’s face. I’ll remember it my whole life. That was something, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was.”

“Must you encourage him?” Marissa looked at Winifred with a frown.

“You got to be supportive of family,” Winifred said with a shrug.

Marissa shook her head. “I still find it hard to believe that the two of you are related, even vaguely.”

“Because I’m damn good-looking and she ain’t?”

“Egg, don’t,” Winifred said, shaking her head disapprovingly.

“No, because of the different education kind of thing. Don’t you remember how stuck up Freddie used to be in first year?”

“Yeah, such a prissy little bitch…” Egg said with a grin.

“Uh, is it my birthday or something?” Winifred asked.

“My father deciding to marry a muggle… best decision of his life,” Egg said seriously. “I would’ve hated to grow up in that environment.”

Winifred snapped her fingers. “You’re getting off subject here. I think you were talking about your party, Egg.”

“Yeah, party,” Egg said, grinning. “You’re gonna help, right? Freddie?”

“Sure. I mean, I’m not sure what I could do to be useful, but if you need me to smuggle butterbeer from the kitchens, I’m all up for it.”

“Marissa?”

“Oh, Egg, it’s going to be a disaster again.”

“No, it won’t. Not it no one tells Dorcas and she doesn’t try to stop it.”

“You’re not going to invite her?” Marissa asked, frowning.

“Of course not,” Egg said, rolling his eyes. “She’d just ruin it.”

“How can you say that,” Marissa protested. “She’s my friend, our friend,” she added, including Winifred, who nodded along.

“Yeah, she’s my friend too,” Egg said, shrugging his shoulders. “She just can’t be invited to parties because she’s a bore.”

“Egg!”

“What? That’s true. I mean, she’s great Dorcas. She’s taking the whole prefect thing a little too seriously.”

“You know that if you’re not invited Dorcas, Allen’s probably not going to show up either,” Winifred chimed in.

“Well, I love Allen, he’s my best mate, but seriously. If Dorcas is there, and he’s there, they’re both going to go all prefect on our arses. So, you know…”

“Yeah, cause they’re not going to notice a party going on in the common room,” Winifred said mockingly.

“Actually, that’s why I wanted you guys’ help,” Egg said very seriously. “I was thinking that maybe we could have it somewhere else this year.”

“Where? Why?”

“Well, first of all it would make it more of a secret party and less of a bunch of Ravenclaws hanging out in their common room, and second, then we could invite other people.”

“What kind of other people?” Winifred asked.

“I don’t know. Some Gryffindors, perhaps.”

“Why would you want to invite Gryffindors?” Winifred said, narrowing her eyes.

“I don’t know, for fun?”

“Well, it’s your party, Egg.”

“So you’re in, Freddie?”

“Well, I can’t say I’ll stay till the end, but I’ll help if you need me to,” Winifred said, smiling at him.

“Great! Mar?”

“It’s going to be a disaster again, Egg.”

“Yeah, but it’ll be memorable. So, you’re in. Thanks for your help guys. Now to see if I can find Maggie. She’d be the best to help with the list of people to invite. Cheerio.”

Marissa shook her head. ‘Egg, I’m not…” but he was already out. She looked at Winifred and winced. “See, I was right in my prediction. Just a start of the year like any other.”

“Well, to be honest, it wouldn’t be Hogwarts without Egg trying to throw some party. That wasn’t hard to guess.”

“Yes, but you just watch. It’ll be just like I predicted. Dorcas’ll try to stop him, Allen’ll come inbetween. It’ll be just like it always is, and that’ll fool us into thinking that nothing’s going to change, but I can feel that this year is going to be a lot tougher.”