Shattered

It wasn't supposed to end like this; I wasn't supposed to be the one hurt.

not again

My plans of revenge were nothing but dust in the wind as I stood before him, tears streaming down my face. His words were running through my head like a broken record and they stung a little more each time the repeated. It was an acute type of pain, like pressing a paper cut onto a table covered in salt and holding it there.

I don't love you, your game is finished; we're finished.

He had known; for how long I wasn't certain but he had known. It was then that I felt it; the tiny pieces of my heart that I had glued back together with hatred were melting and slipping away from me.

Darren Stone had broken my heart once more.

When Darren had broken up with me the first time it had been awful. I had hibernated in my bedroom till the first day of school; three weeks. I didn't come out of my bedroom for anything aside for ice cream and cheesy chick flicks; To say I was hurt is an understatement. I was destroyed, defeated, depressed, and most of all angry; that's when the planning began.

I had fantasied about it for weeks before I actually got the guts to go through with it. The plan had been so flawless; so clean cut. I had played the roll of the perfect girlfriend well, and he had ate it up. It wasn't long before I had him wrapped around my little finger whispering soft 'I love you's in my ear.

Yes everything had been going perfectly. That was until I noticed it happening; I was falling in love again.

It was an unforeseen circumstance but I had happily ignored it. Everything was so great, he wasn't treating me like dirt anymore and I didn't have to remind him not to screw around with other girls because that's not what boyfriends do. In retrospect I see that it was just him fucking around with my head like I had been doing his.

"How long have you known?" The question slipped out and the moment it did I realized I didn't want to know the answer.

"Long enough."

"Who told you?"

He looked at me as if I was an idiot and shook his head," Gracie, who else would tell me?"

"I'm-I," I blubbered helplessly not having enough courage to tell him I loved him or the decency to apologize.

It was at that very moment that I realized I deserved this; I had been manipulating him just as much as he had me, maybe even more. I tried to spin him into a web of convincing lies and trap him there to be devoured like a helpless fly in a spiders web.

"Save your lies for someone who cares Scarlet," He snarled making my stomach clench painfully.

"Better yet, why don't you go call Gracie," He said coldly, his eyes gleaming lightly as I flinched at the mention of her name. Me and Grace hadn't been on speaking terms since my plan developed.

"Oh that's right! You two don't talk anymore, tell me do you have any real friends or are you just a lonely scheming bitch?!" he continued cruelly.

"I may be a scheming bitch but it you hadn't been a cheating bastard and broke my heart this would never have happened!" I snapped unable to control the anger that bubbled in my stomach. I knew what I had said wasn't fair and I dreaded his reply.

As I suspected his response hurt far more than it should have, "Oh please, that was over the summer!"

"You were a stupid fling, nothing special!" He snorted in laughter his eyes sparkling in a way that made me want to vomit.

"Get off my property," I tried sternly, only to have my voice come out as a choked whisper.

He shrugged his shoulders lightly and slid a CD case onto the railing before walking down the stairs with a chuckle.

About halfway to his car Darren paused and turned to me with a smirk, "Enjoy wallowing in your broken Heart Scarlet, just remember you deserve every tiny cut you get from trying to put it back together."

I stood on my porch motionless letting the bitter winds of December whip around me and sting my face until his tail lights were no longer in sight. My shaky fingers picked up the little white CD holder to see every single CD I had ever made him along with a note I had written him in our one month anniversary.

Moments later the flood gates broke and fat tears streamed from my eyes as broken sobs ripped from my chest till my throat was ragged. He had shattered me into a million pieces and scattered me across the universe; my heart was unattainable and irreparable