I Need You to Love Me

The next day went a thousand times better for Rachael than the days before. She woke up to a good breakfast, courtesy of the Honky Tonk’s kind owner, was taken shopping by Ban and Ginji’s negotiator Hevn, and became best friends with Emishi.

By the time evening rolled around, the Get Backers were out on another job, and she was at a playground with her new best friend. Instead of Ginji’s shirt, Ban’s pants, and Ginji’s shoes, she had a pair of black skinny jeans, and gray long sleeved, fitted shirt that was designed to look like she was wearing a black corset over it, and simple, goes-with-anything, black flats. She and Emishi were the only two in the entire park. “Okay, I’ll try. Toy Boat, toy boat, toy boyt, toy boyt… damn it!” she laughed as they sat on the swings trying to beat each other at tongue twisters.

“Hah! I win that one! Your turn!” he shouted through his own laughter.

“Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many peppers did Peter Piper pick?” she grinned, reciting it at a speed that blended each word together as one.

He repeated it perfectly.

“Damn you! So see if you can beat me at this one. She sells seashells by the seashore, while Sally shares her shake with Sam!”

That one he tripped over, and lost.

Another half-hour went by before they got bored. “Tag!” she yelled suddenly, and pushed him off of the swing before running to the other side of the playground. He laughed and charged after her. “Base!” she grinned triumphantly, touching a tree before he could tag her. “Nuh-uh, we don’t have bases in this game.” He argued, tagging her anyway and running away. “EMISHI!” she whined with a giggle.

“Base!” he laughed, tagging the slide.

“No, you just said-”

“That was when I needed to tag you. Now we have bases, and this is it!” he grinned proudly.

“Well I need to tag you, so I say no bases!” she shouted and tagged him before running off again.

They played tag for what felt like days, when it was only twenty minutes, before collapsing in a giggling heap in the sandbox. “Emishi,” she giggled.

“Hmm?”

“You’re awesome.”

“I know, but why do you think so?” he replied, giving her a goofy, playful grin.

“Because you’re basically a grown up, but you’re not afraid to act like you’re five. You still tell jokes, and act silly, and play tag in the playground. You’re like the best friends all the kids had at school when I was growing up.”

“What about you? I don’t remind you of your best friend?”

“That’s cute, you think I had a best friend. No, I had me. Me and me only, because all the other kids made fun of me.”

“Why?”

“Well let’s see… I was quiet, so I was bullied in kindergarten. I was an orphan, so they’d tease me because I didn’t have a mommy or daddy. As we got older, I was a dork, weirdo, and loser. Even older I’m a nerd, freak, and Orphan Annie. High School, I’m the nerd, an EMO cutter, worthless, and in everyone’s way. Then I turned eighteen.” She shrugged the part about her age and lay down in the sandbox.

“Then what happened?”

“They made me leave the home, and after a week I moved here. You know what happened after that.” She sighed.

“Wow… well those kids were obviously oblivious to what was in front of them.”

“Thanks.” She giggled as he pulled her to her feet. It was starting to rain, and now she was laughing quite hard.

“What?”

“It’s raining, I love the rain!” she cheered, spinning in a circle with her arms out. He laughed and joined her in her spinning until they both fell over. She tried to stand but fell again, being too dizzy to walk anymore, but he was a lot better at keeping his balance, even as dizzy as he was. “Come on.” He laughed; pulling her to her feet and helping her carry her shopping bags to the Honky Tonk.

People gave them strange looks as they staggered side by side, laughing with their arms around each other in the rain down the sidewalk, but they didn’t care. They were having too much fun to care.

“They’re back!” Ginji cheered as soon as they walked through the door of the café, giggling and soaking wet. “Yeah!” they replied in unison before laughing again. “So where’ve you two been?” Ban questioned as she hugged him. “The playground, playing tag, dancing, spinning… you know, fun stuff.” She shrugged, “What about you? How’d your job go?”

“Pretty good, made a decent fee.”

“Congrats, what’d you spend it on?”

“Food.” Ginji and Paul sighed together, “But not on their tab!” the café owner added bitterly.

She laughed and sat down next to Ban, who was sitting at a booth with Ginji, and another one of his friends. Emishi sat on Ginji’s side, putting three on that side, and two on Rachael and Ban’s.

“Oh, Rachael, this is another friend of mine, Kazuki. Kazu, this is Rachael.” Ginji introduced with a big smile. At first she thought Kazuki was a girl, but after hearing him speak she realized her mistake and started blushing after shaking his hand. “Hey, she never blushed after meeting me!” Emishi whined teasingly. She kicked him under the table and blushed deeper when Kazuki was the one to flinch instead. “I’m sorry!” She gasped, ducking back against the seat when he put his hand up. He was only showing that he was okay, but she was one hundred percent sure he was going to hit her. “It’s all right, really. I’m fine.” He smiled, but his eyes still held sadness that she thought he would hurt her. Ban and Ginji had only told him a little about what happened, and left out all details. All they were really doing by informing him, was warning him not to touch her, or get too close to her, because she would be afraid of him at first like she had been with all the men other she had met so far.

“You know, food wasn’t all we spent our money on.” Ban announced suddenly, breaking the awkward silence that fell over them. “Really?” she questioned. “Well you said you had to sell your violin, and Hevn said there was one in a music shop you begged to go into, that you fell in love with after playing it,” he smiled. “And we went to check it out, and saw that we could afford it, and it really is pretty, and Ban said it was a good one,” Ginji continued excitedly. “So we went ahead and got it for you.” Ban finished with a wide grin, pulling a violin case from under the table while Ginji bounced with excitement.

“Oh, guys,” she breathed tearfully, gently opening the case on the table. “Like it?” Ginji asked hopefully. “I… thank you so much! I love it!” she exclaimed happily, reaching across the table and pulling him into a hug before turning and hugging Ban. “Play it.” Ban shrugged. “Oh… I, uhm… I don’t really think Paul would be happy with me playing in his café.” She replied in a mix of awkward insecurity, and sadness. “Nonsense, of course I’d be happy with it!” he encouraged. She bit her lip nervously and looked longingly at the violin. She really wanted to play it, she always felt complete when the music she created surrounded her. “Really, go ahead.” He pushed, snapping her back to reality. She looked up to see Emishi, Ginji, Ban, and Kazuki all giving her encouraging nods as well and sighed. “Okay,” she muttered and set herself up to play.

She closed her eyes to try and find something to trigger a sound, like she always did before an improvisation, but all she could see was the previous night with the Yakuza, and how afraid she was. That was all she needed to hear the music.

She opened her eyes but didn’t focus on anything as she played a medium tempo, dark melody that reflected exactly how she felt. The others inside the café were in awe at her talent, but were also affected by the mood of the song. They all felt her sadness then, and her pain. She continued to play, reliving the moments in her mind as a few tears fell from her eyes. She got angrier with the man Ban had fought, and in turn the song’s tempo slowly picked up and the melody was altered slightly to reflect it. She played sharper and faster until suddenly she broke the pattern with a long high note.

Her eyes focused slightly on Ban as she played the end of her composition, which was a slower, bittersweet melody that was somehow happy, while being as dark as the beginning. There were still a few tears sliding down the side of her face as she played, but her eyes didn’t leave Ban until the very end when they closed again, blinking away the last of her tears as the others around her applauded.

“That was incredible!” Emishi cheered. “Thanks.” She smiled, but her voice sounded weak and pained. “Really, where’d you learn to play like that? I’ve never heard a song like that before!” Ginji praised. “I don’t know. I was lucky enough to have a violin teacher who drilled using your heart, so I can just close my eyes, feel or see something and run with it.” She shrugged.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what were you feeling?” Paul asked, still in awe at the powerful music that just filled his café. “A lot.” She huffed as she put her violin back in her case, “First I didn’t feel, I saw last night, when I was with those men. Then I felt fear. Then anger toward them, for what they did and tried to do to me.” She explained honestly. “What about the end? That didn’t sound angry, or afraid.” Ban asked curiously. “I don’t know, honestly. Relief, hope, maybe trust, or hesitation… I really don’t know. I was thinking about when you saved me, and how calm and kind you were when I was so afraid of you.” She blushed. He didn’t push the subject any further, Kazuki smiled at her as if he knew something she didn’t, Emishi she could tell was about to make a joke but stopped himself, and Ginji just looked confused.

“Well, thank you very much for the violin, but I need to get changed and go for a while. Is it all right if I stay another night here?” she announced, turning to Paul with her question. “Of course.” He nodded. “Great, I’ll see you all later. It was nice to meet you Kazuki.” She smiled and ran upstairs to change into some very professional business clothes before coming back down.

“Where are you going so dressed up?” Ginji asked. “All over. I need to find a job, and now that I have some decent clothes it’s a little more possible. As soon as I get a job, I’ll pay you back for all of the free food Paul, I promise. And for the room I’ve been using.” She explained.

“I already told you not to worry, it’s on the house. And I don’t remember saying anything about paying rent, did I?”

“No, you didn’t. But I didn’t move here to be a freeloader. I came here for answers.” She nodded firmly and left the café.