Someone Get Me a Doctor, Someone Call the Nurse

(Maddie POV)

Cracking my eyes open, it took my mind a moment to remember where I was and what had happened. As I recalled the low moans and sweet waves of pleasure, horror dawned on me. What have I done? There is no way we could just pretend that last night didn’t happen—it was too amazing to ever forget. One minute I was sad to say goodbye to the guys again, and the next, I was rolling around in bed with Jared like some horny teenager. Suddenly, blue eyes slid open, a smile of absolute satisfaction spreading across soft lips.

“Morning…Sleep well?” Fear, regret, nervousness, and pain filled my stomach, choking me. Jared’s happy grin morphed into a frown. “What is it?” I shook my head, sitting up. Realizing my clothes were absent, I snatched the sheets up to cover myself, embarrassment heating up my face. Joining me in sitting up, Jared took my chin in his hand, forcing me to meet his piercing gaze. “Maddie…you know you don’t have to hide from me. It’s ok.” I gave voice to the question my mind had been asking for weeks.

“Jared…what are we?” The question seemed to catch him off-guard as he dropped his hold on me. Sighing heavily, he turned to look at the wall.

“I don’t know.” Utter despair filled me. Would we ever be what we were before all of this? Not able to take the slowly rising awkwardness, I got up and shuffled to the bathroom, agony filling my chest as I felt the bonds tearing between us. Never had I felt so filthy in all my life, nor have I ever regretted a fling more than the one I engaged in last night. As I stepped under the scalding water, I let loose the tears that had been building.

(Jared POV)

I could hear her start to cry, and yet I sat there, doing nothing. Each beat of my heart sent a flash of pain through me. When I had woken up, I had felt utterly complete and content until I saw the fear and regret on Maddie’s face. She couldn’t even look me in the eye, and I felt my heart break as I realized I had caused this. One selfish, greedy act had crumbled an amazing friendship. Could I even repair the damage done, or would our friendship dissolve to nothing? The thought made bile rise in my throat. Flopping onto my side, I groaned into the pillow. What have I done?

(Maddie POV)

Dressed in sweats and a camisole, I didn’t remotely care how much of a bum I looked like. The ride was almost silent to the airport, and Shannon and Tomo noticed. Blaming it on sadness for leaving the beautiful island early, I was left to stare out the window in peace. Jared sat on the far side of the car, farther away from me than he had been since I met him. I blinked back tears at the thought, feeling a new terror rise in me as the airport swung into view. What would happen when we got back?

On the jet, I sat as far away from Jared as the cabin would allow. Muscles sore from last night, I slid carefully into the seat beside the window. Tomo glanced at me from across the aisle, and I smiled at him softly to disguise my breaking heart. At least I could still be his and Shannon’s friend. Shannon plopped down beside his brother, engaging him in a hushed conversation as the engines started up. I couldn’t hear anything over the whine, so I just leaned my head back and watched the runway start to pass under us.

(Jared POV)

“What the hell did you do?” Startled, I looked over at my brother, noticing his angry expression.

“What are you talking about?” Shannon rolled his eyes at me and made a vague gesture toward the back of the jet where Maddie was sitting.

“She hasn’t said more than two words to you all morning, and I’ve never seen you two stay so far apart this entire vacation…So what did you do?” I sank in my seat. Was it so horribly obvious? Rubbing my eyes to get rid of the stinging behind them, I relayed a cleaned-up, shorter version of what happened last night. At the end of it, Shannon looked shell-shocked. “I can’t believe you two…ew Jare. That’s like…my little sister.” Glaring at him, I sank further into depression.

“I don’t know what happened…One minute she was crying and I just wanted to comfort her…The next think I know, we’re kissing and groping and…God I wish I hadn’t done it. I’d rather have her friendship any day than to lose it all just for one night of amazing sex.” Shannon waved his hand at me.

“Ok, I really don’t wanna hear that.”

“Sorry…I’m just…I don’t know. This really sucks.” Shannon patted me on the shoulder, heaving a deep sigh.

“Well, you definitely screwed up big time. All I can say is talk to her.” Yanking my head up, I looked at him like he was crazy.

“What do I even say to her? You didn’t see her this morning…” I smacked my fist into the armrest, feeling a shoot of pain go up my arm. “Damn it! I didn’t want this. I should’ve just followed your advice in the first place.” A knowing look came over my brother’s face as he leaned back into the seat.

“Somehow, I don’t think you would’ve enjoyed the outcome if you had.” Not saying anything more, he put in his headphones and cranked up the tunes. Heart throbbing painfully, I stared out the window and tried to organize my thoughts.

(Maddie POV)

Home again…Sigh. Looking up at my house, all I felt was dread. My heart screamed out in agony at the thought of being here alone. The guys hugged me goodbye, Jared lingering in the background. I hid my disappointment with a smile that hardly reached my eyes, waving them off.

“Take care! Don’t do anything too crazy, and keep in touch!” I nodded my assent to Shannon’s request and turned to go inside. The car purred to life in the driveway and pulled away. Regret filled me as I shut the door. Why did I sleep with him? Why couldn’t we just keep being friends…stupid freaking hormones! With nothing to do and depression rising, I turned and walked into the guest bedroom closet. It was high time I went through those boxes. The pain I was feeling now made the hurt from reliving memories pale in comparison.

I didn’t even hesitate in flinging open the first box, my eyes catching on the pictures littering the top layer. Picking up one, I stared at it hard, as if it would make the Polaroid burst into flames. Two smiling faces leaned together, one of them my very own. I was so happy then, and life was so simple. The worst responsibility I had was occasionally paying for gas. The other person in the photo was a dirty blonde male, his teeth overly large when he smiled. He had been my world, my light, my life…Blinking at the sudden pain in my chest, I threw the picture to the ground beside me. The next photo was of him and I dancing…Corey loved dancing. Memories slowly seeping into my mind, I added this picture to the other one on the ground. Before I knew it, I had a huge pile of old photos beside me and was finally getting to the other stuff in the box.

A silver shimmer caught my eye as I dug through what was left in the box, and I reached towards it. Pulling the tarnished necklace out, I let it dangle in front of me as I examined it. Wings stretched out from a heart, symbolizing my free spirit. Corey had given it to me one day after we had a huge fight, adding a sweet note in the bottom of the box it had come in. It had been so sweet that I forgave him instantly—a horrible mistake. I chucked the necklace to the floor, hearing it thunk on the wood.

Eyes widening, I pulled out the snowglobe he had given me the following Christmas. Santa waved in a blue and white variation of his usual suit, a snowman standing by. Winding it, beautiful piano music fluttered out in a lighter version of Moonlight Sonata. Despite the soft melody, anger filled me. He had hidden behind these gifts for months before showing his true face. I still had the scar on my ribs, just to the side of my right breast, where he had shoved me into the dresser. It was so faint, no one could tell unless they really were looking right at it. At the time, I had been so shocked, I didn’t do anything—I just rolled over and took it. I had convinced myself it was an accident, a onetime thing. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

After the second time he pushed me, I told him to knock it off. His response was to slap me, whipping my head around to the side. Fury rising in me, I had snapped and leaped on him with fists flying. As I walked out of the house, leaving him behind with bruised ego and broken nose, I hollered at him. Never would I look at him again as long as I lived, and if he ever came near me again, I’d kill him. This same fury rose in me as I held the precious gift in my hands, making my arms quiver with its intensity. With a terrific yell of rage, I hurtled the glass globe into the hall, delighting in its tinkling shatter. As my regret and sadness over Jared disappeared, I began to throw the other presents into the hall, letting everything shatter or bounce on the floor as I released my pent up feelings on the hated objects.

When everything was all said and done, I sat amid empty boxes and stared out at the heap of broken items outside the door. Rage still burned below the surface, but it began cooling rapidly after the catharsis. Unfortunately, this also meant the resurfacing of my melancholy. I heaved a heavy sigh and stood up, starting to clean up the mess I had created. Everything went into the trash where it should have gone years ago. As I closed the lid on the bin, it felt like some sort of closure on that chapter of my life, and I felt lighter in spirit.