Billie Joe Armstrong Is My Step-Father...and I Hate It

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
This time for Africa

“WHO’S PLAYING FOOTBALL SONGS?!” I screamed. Personally, I don’t mind “Waka Waka” but I hate all sports. ALL. SPORTS. With a burning passion. If it wasn’t about football, then I’d like it more. It only dawned on me that I left my radio on. I sighed and hung my head. I was losing it. I went to switch it off. I paused for a while, listening absent mindedly.

Today’s your day
I feel it
You paved the way,
Believe it
If you get down
Get up oh, oh
When you get down,
Get up eh, eh-

I smiled before switching it off this time. I turned around only to see Billie looking at me, all dressed up for his night out with my mum, rather amused by something. Oh, beautiful life. I narrowed my eyes, curling my lips back as if snarling. I felt my hands curl up into fists. My arms started quivering with rage. Honestly, just looking at him pissed me off. I couldn’t bottle up the frothing anger in the pit of my stomach that was overflowing with a toxic acid of rage.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked.

“No.”

“You mother was born in May, right?” he asked.

“… yeeeea… why?” I asked, slowly getting confused.

“What is that, an emerald?” he asked. I was starting to get ever so slightly scared now. Why was he asking for birth stones…?

“Why are you so interested in this, can I ask?” I asked, in a seething tone.

“Just wanna know. Future reference” he said, shrugging. I could tell when someone is lying. Their tone could be as covering as it could, but the body language tells all. Right now, his eyes were laughing at me, as if I believed him. “Soooo… it’s an emerald, yeah?”

“… go research it” I hissed, knowing perfectly well it was an emerald, because I remember my dad calling me a “little sapphire” because I was born on April.

“Don’t wanna” he said, in a whining tone.

“FINE! YES, IT IS!” I yelled, getting fed up. Billie smiled again, suddenly.

“Thanks Grace!” he said. Suddenly, he was happy. Too happy for my liking. He was almost skipping away from my doorway. I felt my legs turning to mush beneath me in fear. Oh God… it’s NOT gonna happen…

Mum will NOT, under any circumstances, be, EVER… Mrs Samia Armstrong.

“What’s up with dad?” Joey asked, taking his fathers place at my doorway. “He’s all happy and… it’s freaking me out…”

“You think you’re the only one?” I sighed, almost sadly. But it was much more anger that sadness. Joey shifted at the doorway.

“I’m I allowed in?”

“Sure. C’mon in” I said. Joey was the only one I could relate to, no matter how irrataing and… Billie Joe he was. He understood me. Kinda. He sat on my bed and looked at me.

“What’s up now, Gracie?” he asked. I was going to yell at him for calling my Gracie, but I didn’t. All my anger just couldn’t detatch itself from Billie.

“My mum is pregnant… with Billie Joe’s baby…” I said, dragging the words. “And now… I think…” I couldn’t finish it. “Look, I just get this… feelings… something is gonna go wrong.”

“Liiiike… miscarriage or something?” Joey asked.

“No, not that… I get this feeling someone will get hurt…” I said.

“Phsyically?”

“Not sure. I keep thinking it’s mum” I said, sighing, sitting beisde him. He looked at me.

“I know my dad, Grace. He would never want to hurt your mum. Ever” Joey said, sternly. “So stop accusing him.”

“Stop accusing him?! He did DRUGS!” I said, my voice raising two octaves.

“GRACE!” my mother yelled from downstairs. I grimanced in sheer anger and felt myself quivering in rage. But I took a deep breath and shook it off. Joey remained staring at him.

“So, that’s it? You’re stuck in the past?” he asked, softly.

I didn’t tell myself that’s exactly what it was.

“No! I just… feel… I can’t explain it” I said, shaking my head. “I feel… I feel…” I couldn’t find words. They failed me.

“Do you think about your dad, often?” Joey asked, looking at the photo beside my bed, trying to distract me.

“Every day. I don’t think he likes Billie being here either” I said, in almost a whisper. At that point, rain started spitting at the windows, as if cued. “He wants to be here, I can feel it. Do you think about your mum a lot?”

“No, not really. Coz I can talk to her if I want to but… that’s the thing though, you can’t do that with your dad” he said, in a guilty tone. I didn’t want him feeling guilty for me. I didn’t want anyone to ever feel sorry for me.

“You read Twilight?” Joey asked, looking att he pile of books beside my bed gingerly.

“You’re ruining the moment.”

“Sorry… sorry…” We sat there in the silence. I watched the rain gather strength. Joey put an arm around my shoulders.

Shake it off, SHAKE IT OFF!

I couldn’t do it. Every part of me was weak of my fathers memory. He would’ve laughed if I said Joey put his arm around me. He would’ve asked for his address and pretend he was going to beat him up for touching his daughter. Then he would’ve laughed again and asked if he was a good catch. If that was the situation… if Billie Joe and my mum never met and dad was still alive… I would’ve said yes. I felt the warmth of his arm over me, and the warmth of his body leaning against mine. The absent minded sound of mum talking to Billie seemed so distant… all I could hear was Joey’s breathing, in my ears. My heart felt strange. Almost… like it was sinking. Joey smelt nice. I didn’t know why. But he did. Somehow, my fathers memory seemed distant as well. Even the harsh rain against the window was distant. It was like everything wasn’t here anymore. No more pain, no more harshness… there was a strange peace. A very, very strange peace.

SHAKE IT OFF! DO IT!

The little voice in my head almost made me jump and I slunk out of Joey’s arm. What did I just feel? Suddenly, everything came back, hitting me like a pile of bricks. The rain suddenly made huge lashing sounds, mums voice was audiable now and all my feelings I hade felt before, anger and misery, fell back into place. My heart sprang up again, in was almost painful. My senses returned to me. My room seemed darker than before. My eyes scanned the room before the fell on Joey again, who caught my glance. I was about to speak until I heard my mum ask for me.

I got up slowly, finding my legs to walk out, without speaking. Joey followed shortly after. I paused in my tracks as soon as I stepped into the hallway. Joey collided into me before looking over my shoulder. My mother stood there, in a beautiful blue dress, her long gorgeous legs showing as on side of the dress was cut off to expose her right leg. It was like Aphrodite replaced my mother and stood there in the hallway. I could only barely believe this was my mother, Samia Reict.

“What do you think?” she asked. “Is it too trampy? I think it’s too trampy…”

“You look hot…” Joey murmered, absent mindedly, staring at her. I clenched my hands before slapping him around the face. “OW! I mean… I mean, you look really good, Miss Reict… Samia… no, I mean-!”

“Thanks Joey” she smiled, however, after giving me a horrid glance for hitting him. “Well, you know what to do. Hollie is asleep, Kage goes to bed and ten and you two and Jakob can stay up till… well, whatever, just make sure it isn’t too late.”

“ARE YOU READY?!” Billie shouted from downstairs.

“YES!” mum shouted back, walking down the stairs. I watched her go. She was doomed tonight. I had a bad feeling about it. I heard Billie mutter something and my mum let out a high pitched giggle.

“See you guys later, alright?” Billie said to us, from downstairs.

“Yeah, see you dad.”

“Hopefully, you won’t” I added. Mum rolled her eyes and left with him. From now, the house was under control of me and Joey. Mostly me.

At half ten, Kage went to bed and we decided to watch another movie. Dad had a lot of horror films for a human being. But we were NOT going to watch a horror movie. I think we got enough of that. So, we settled to watch “Little Miss Sunshine”. But when the grandfather’s death struck, I was hurled into a totally different world.

I remember when I had to stand next to a covered body. I was confused… I wanted to ask why the had covered my father in a sheet but my mother was crying too much. Kage barely knew what was happening but he knew something bad was happening, so he started crying. It hit me after that. My dad, my beloved dad who had tught me the arts of the celtic culture and offered money up to pay for my dancing lessons I had loved so much… the one who tuaght me how to draw a puppy when I was fine, the man who drove me to and from school… he was never waking up.

The scene changed. Suddenly, we were in the kitchen, everything seemed normal. We were in the kitchen and the phone rang. My mother answered.

“Hello? Yes, this is, who’s calling? Oh… oh my God, what happened?!”

A moment of silence filled. I listened. The suspense was killing me. What was happening, who was calling?

Suddenly, a scream split through the air. A scream of horror. Of disbelief, of sorrow. I heard the phone fall to the ground with a thud and my mother’s hysterical crying…

“Grace, I’m dating Billie Joe Armstrong.”

It hadn’t dawned on me that I had been crying. I heard Joey’s voice call my name softly.

“Grace? Grace, are you alright?” he asked.

“Oh my God, she’s been taken over! Or… something… paralyzed, that’s the word!”

“Shut it, Jake. She’s not paralyzed, she’s in shock… or something… Grace?” I blinked. I felt my wet eyelashes touch my cheek before the sprang up again. My face felt wet. Wet with salty tears. “We shouldn’t have watched it, I should’ve thought. Are you alright?”

I sat there. It was like someone wrenched my soul out. I couldn’t speak, I felt nothing. I could only barely breath. It felt like I had been gone ages. But the movie was simply stopped. When I felt even the slightest bit of co operation hit me, I shook my head in answer to his question.

“Jake, can you leave me alone with Grace for a bit?” Joey asked.

“Why can’t I stay?! What will I do wrong?!” Jakob exploded, obviously pissed off.

“Jake, just go. Sit in the kitchen for all I care, just go!” Joey seethed. Jake left, with bad grace, grumbling a few words about his brother, slamming the door behind him. Joey sat up on the sofa again, after having been kneeling in front of me.

“Hey…” he said, softly. “Is it about your dad?” I didn’t answer. “C’mon Grace, speak.” I couldn’t. I opened my mouth but no words came out so I shut it again.

“I’m going to sleep. Not like any of you care, though!” Jake said from outside the room, storming upstairs. Joey rolled his eyes.

“I swear, he’s a fucking annoying little shit sometimes” he said, trying to cheer me up. I tried to smile but I couldn’t. I just shut my eyes tight when I felt two more tear ooze out of my eyes. “Oh, c’mon, don’t cry! I’m not used to this…”

I flung myself on him. I needed comfort. I just grabbed his wait and held him tight. I needed a living soul to liven me again. Even if it was Joey’s. I felt myself choke up again as I held him, burying my face in his ribs. He placed an arm around my, rubbing my back. Little electric sparks flew down my spine.

Disgust, I thought. It’s just disgust.

We sat there like that for a while and I felt ounces of energy leave me. The feeling as back. The “flying” flying that everything was gone. I could hear Joey’s heartbeat. I felt tired. After ten minutes, I was asleep, resting on Joey’s torso.

When I woke up, the room was only dimly lit by the t.v that read “Movie stopped” and the clock read two in the morning. Mum and Billie still weren’t back. I sat up, groggily. Joey stirred, tightened his eyes then opened them slowly. “Grace?”

“It’s two in the morning” I said.

“Dad isn’t back yet?” Joey asked.

“No. Should we go to bed?” I asked. Joey groaned loudly.

“Don’t wanna move” he whined. It sounded like “Duninnaoove” in his sluured tured voice. He closed his eyes again, shifted a little then opened them. “Your warm.”

“Thanks” I laughed before feeling my face drop again. “Sorry about eariler… I’m just… I dunno.”

“Don’t apologize for it” he said. “I liked comforting you.” I looked at him accusingly and I felt confused. He did…? I felt my arms give in to tiredness anad I lowered myself back down.

“Well, you’re comfortable” I muttered. “I’ll skin you for a pillow.”

“Spare me, Grace” he chuckled. “I’ll be your servert for life if you give me one more chance at life.” Joey, my servent for life… I almost smiled.

I pulled myself up to look at him. “Deal.” I said, once I was level with his face. “You’ll be my servent.”

“God” Joey said. “Now that I think about it, I’d rather die.”

“Too bad, you already agreed” I accused. He looked at me. I looked back. He leaned closer to me. I felt his breath hit my face. It smelt of coke. I felt my whole body shut down.

Joesph Marciano Armstrong was about to kiss me.

“I CAN’T OPEN THE DOOR!”

“Go on, Mr Armstrong, open it! Or does your second name have to purpose?”

“I’m carrying you, aren’t I?!”

We sprang to reality at the sound of our parents voice outside the house. Joey sat up and looked at the living room door. “Shit…” he muttered.

“Pretend to be asleep on the sofa” I said. He lay back again, looking uncertain but he closed his eyes. I did the same. Suddenly, the front door sprang open and my mother laughed.

“Are they all asleep?” mum whispered.

“I think so… oh, no, someone’s on the sofa!” Billie whispered back, a little loudly.

“Shhhhh, you fucking… cuttle fish” mum burst out laughing. I had this feeling she was drunk. She walked over, quietly and I felt her lean over us. “Oh, I swear, something is going on between these two…”

“Whazzat?”

“Grace and Joey… look at them, aren’t the adorable?” mum cooed. “Let’s leave them. In peace.”

“Yes, let’s.” Mum retraced her steps back to the hallway.

“And just think about it!” mum whispered, happily. “Next year, I’ll be Mrs Samia Armstrong!”

Fuck, fuck, FUCK, FUCK! I knew it! I felt Joey’s hand clench over mine, in some form to calm me down. He opened his eyes and gave me a look that said It’ll be alright.

I trusted him.