Billie Joe Armstrong Is My Step-Father...and I Hate It

How many of you could honestly say you were caught out making out with your future step-brother and have his little brother storm in randomly? I’m taking it’s a small fraction. Do I blame you? I would never do such a thing if it wasn’t Joey. But it was Joey. It was just waiting to pounce, to devour me head first like a jaguar. And it did, much sooner than I had expected. A huge wave of emotion grabbed me. A mix of grief, anger, shock, confusion and despair. Not a very bright mix. What did I do, exactly? I haven’t done anythign wrong in my li-

Oh yeah.

But that was only instinct. I can’t stop instincts. Taking down Billie Joe was like a mother tiger protecting her cubs, it was nature. It wasn’t made to hurt anyone. Even it does hurt people around me. But I couldn’t help myself. It was like a volcano, a dozen insults and flaws about him build up in me, and how does a volcano stop itself from erupting? Oh yes, that’s right, it doesn’t. I just explode with the insults toward him, unintentionally drowning others with him.

So, other than that, what have I done wrong?

Jakob blinked a few times. He attempted to talk but words seemed to fail him. I understood. I would be speechless, if I were him, too. Joey narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists.

“JAKE! JESUS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” he yelled. Jake did not take this outburst well.

“What am I doing?! Shouldn’t I be asking you that?!” he retorted. I sat there, awkwardly. I didn’t know what to do. Sit there, or jump in. Somehow, just sitting here seemed like a better idea. Joey was silent as well. I could tell he wanted to yell at him but he just couldn’t find the right words. As well as that, Jake had just proved a worthy point. “... What exactly was going on?”

“Just... some bet” Joey answered, in a low voice. Jake didn’t seem to believe him.

“A bet?”

“Yea, a bet” I said. It wasn’t a lie. It started out as a bet... didn’t it? Jake raised his eyebrows in suspiscion.

“Why would you kiss her for a bet?” Jake asked.

“My thoughts exactly” I pitched in, looking at him. Joey shrugged.

“Just... thought about it and realized she would hate it” he said. Well, that was a lie. I should know.

“And did you?” Jakob questioned me. I opened my mouth to speak but my throat was dry. So I shook my head, scrunching up my nose in fake disgust and giving a little shudder. “Well, that seems to be a believable reaction from you.”

“Seriously Jake. It was nothing” Joey said, hurridly. Jakob scanned us over with his eyes one more time before sitting on the sofa.

“Right” he said. I stodd up when he sat down.

“I think I’m... I think I’ll go to my room” I said, leaving the room. When I was safely out of view, I ran upstairs, ducked into my room and slammed the door behind me. I was gone. Away. Thank God. I lay on my bed, still a little blown away about what had happened.

It wasn’t allowed to happen. I had to tell him that.

Later, when everyone was up, I made my way downstairs. Mum sat at the table, like she does every morning. I didn’t immediantly barge in, as they were alone. I stood outside the door for a while, listening.

“I’m just worried about Grace’s reaction” mum whispered. “You know how she reacted when she found out about us in the first place!”

“She’s your daughter, not your mother. Jeez, give her a break, she won’t be THAT savage!” Billie replied to her. Mum sighed.

“Billie, your missing the point” she said. “She didn’t exactly take me being pregnant over the moon either, did she? She wouldn’t talk to anyone for the whole day! Or at least for a few hours. I can tell when my daughter is angry, don’t give me that look! I’m not taking about her reactions, I’m talking about herself, as in what will become of her, it’ll drive her deeper into this... depression thing she’s been wallowing in. Yenno it’s been four whole fucking years since she last invited someone over?!” Silence fell.

“Really?”

“Yes. Really. And I try to get her to interact with people but she doesn’t even give a shit about who they are or... or anything. You could give her Britney Spears and she still wouldn’t talk!” mum seethed.

“Well, who would?”

“Oh, you know what I mean! What’s she going to do when she finds out about us getting marriiiii- oh, good morning, Grace! Why weren’t you on the sofa this morning?” mum said, suddenly brightening her tone of voice and, obviously, her expression.

“I woke up early” I said, bluntly. I elbowed Billie in the ribs to get him out of my way so I could make myself some coffee. He gave a slight yelp of pain before backing off, giving me a slight glare.

“Oh, that’s... so, did you go back to sleep after that?” mum asked, takign a sip of her own coffee. As if nothing were wrong. Ha.

“I tried” I said. I checked the time. It was now half eleven. It was true, I did try. But the thoughts of Joey kept me awake.

“Didn’t you?”

“No.”

“Why was J- never mind.” Billie just proceeded to sit beside my mum, cutting himself off when he began to speak. I had a feeling he was going to ask about me and Joey on the sofa last night. My stomach twisted itself into an awkward knot. I decided to ignore that comment.

“How did it happen?” I asked, pulling myself onto the counter. “Go on, tell me everything.” Mum blinked innocently.

“How did what happen?” she asked. I rolled my eyes dramatically.

“So, is that what you asked about birth stones for? To make sure you got the right colour?” I asked, turning to Billie. He mirrored her actions.

“What are you talking about?” he asked. I scoffed.

“What’s that on your finger mum? That’s not your wedding ring from dad” I said, pretending to only notice.

“See? This is what I was talking about” mum sighed.

“Ohhh, that’s rich. You try to hide it from me” I snarled, slurring mum’s sentance into mine by speaking as soon as she had finished. “I knew this would happen you know.” Silence. I hated awkward silences. So I broke it.

“And then, you go onto think I’d go into depression. Depression?! You call this depression?!” I jumped off the counter, my mum watching me with apologetic eyes.

“Gracie-...”

“No. Yenno, I can’t believe you did that” I said, pausing at the door. I stopped to give a death glare at Billie. I pointed at him, threatingly. “I’m gonna get you. I’m gonna get you and I will do soemthing so unforgivably bad, you’re gonna wish you never met me.” I backed off slowly. “And I’ll get you when you least expect it.” What a cliché thing to say. I made my way back upstairs again. I couldn’t believe that happened. This day just kept getting worse. I wonder what else is left for me in the Worlds little present today. Illness? Murder? Someone getting eaten my a mountain lion? All of them sound better than being alive right now anyway.

I sat in my little coven (my room) for ages until someone knocked my door. I looked over at the shut door. “Whoever you are, you can go fuck yourself!”

“Grace, c’mon, let me in” Joey said.

“Wha- no!”

“Please?”

I sat there in silence, staring at my roof for a while, I finally swang my legs off the side of my bed and opened the door. “What do you want?”

“I wanna talk to you about something” he said. “Can I come in?”

“What’s wrong with out in the hallway?” I said, my voice acidic and dripping with awfully fake innocence.

“Coz it’s about... that” he said, referring to this morning’s “incident”. And what with Jakob’s suspicscion going on, it was best to remain silent about that. So I let him in. I sat on the oppisite side of the bed as him. He noticed this.

“I’m not the plague, Grace. You don’t need to avoid me” he said. I sniffed before shrugging.

“It feels like your the plague” I muttered. Luckily, he didn’t hear.

“I’m sorry Grace. I couldn’t have made that bet in the first place, it was stupid. I should’ve known I would’ve got carried away” he said. I reamined silent, wanting him to speak some more. His voice was an odd comfort to me. I didn’t say anything. “Grace...? This doesn’t change anything, does it?”

“How doesn’t it?” I asked.

“Grace...” he said, moving beside me. “Grace, don’t be cold like that.” I remained silent. “Grace, look at me.” I closed my eyes tight before looking at him. “I don’t want this to lead to... I dunno, us hating each other more than we did at the start.”

“How do you plan to stop that?” I asked, as though he just said the stupid thing to avoid. Like... go the whole day without breathing and be living by the end of that day. It was impossible. “Magically go back in time.”

“If I could” he said, trying to kiss me again but I ducked away, jumping to my feet.

“Joey, no. I’m not going to go there, there can’t be an us. It just can’t happen” I said. He blinked.

“So... is this some odd breaking up thing?” he asked, confused. I shrugged but then shook my head.

“It’s way to risky” I said.

“But Grace, I l-!”

“DON’T...” I trailed off, closing my eyes tight and trying to block out the world. “... say it.”

“Why? What are you afraid of, Grace?” he asked.

“You. Me. Everyone” I answered. “You saw what happened.”

“You’re not even gonna fight for this?” he asked.

“There’s nothing to fight for, Joey.”

“... I should’ve seen this. You were never gonna change” he said, his voice turned acidic. I blinked. It was my turn to be confused.

“What are you say-?”

“You’re just a fucking coward, Grace” he said. “You won’t open to anyone, your trust levels are so low, I’m surprised you trust anyone at all!” He glared at me and stood up. “You just... you’re never gonna make things work for anyone else, Grace. Never once have you thought about anyone else since my dad entered your life.”

“THAT IS NOT-!”

“Yea Grace. Yea, it’s true” he said, storming out of my room and slamming the door so hard, it rattled the frame. I stood there, violently shooken up by his words. I suddenly clenched my jaw and curled my hands up into fists.

That fucking cunt was going down with his dad.