Billie Joe Armstrong Is My Step-Father...and I Hate It

A long week passed, which meant another week closer to the wedding. At that point, there was only four weeks left, and I was dreading it. I would have to walk down the aisle, following my mother to her fatal doom. Joy, oh joy. In the same church dad’s funeral took place. In my head, I thought it was going to be a sick... sick day.

“BILLIE, GET THE FUCK OFF YOUR ASS!”

I yawned as I sat up, after hearing mum scream at Billie about something. I felt extremely well rested for some reason, and in a particularly good mood. I swung my legs off the side of the bed, rubbing my eyes. I looked around at Billie’s spare bedroom. A week had passed since I ate out with Green Day, but it seemed so recent. I pulled on my fuzzy slippers and shoved on my dressing gown before making my way downstairs.

“Morning all,” I said, waltzing my way into the kitchen. My eyes fell onto Billie. “Morning... it.”

“Oh, hey G-”

“BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG!” Mum appeared at the doorway, seething with rage. It seemed like I made it in time to watch the baby hormones fly. “You get your lazy ass upstairs and pick up your used underwear, because I’m touching that toxic shit!” What was weird about this was that this wasn’t even her house...

“Yes, dear,” Billie sighed, standing to obey her orders. Mum crossed her arms, a look on her face that looked like it came straight from hell. Her eyes were flaming and her bottem lip was stuck out slightly, showing her disapproval, her arms crossed high across her chest, her legs spread out, almost as if she was a child, denied of a toy, and she was sulking about it.

“And put on something decent today, we’re going for a scan,” mum snapped, her eyes dragging upwards to scowl at her fiancé. “None of that ‘I’m such a rebel’ shit to the docters.”

“Whatever you say, honey.”

“Damn fucking straight,” mum muttered. Once he was gone, she strolled into the kitchen, still looking rather pissed.

“Baby working you up again?” I asked, casually.

“Yes.”

“Strong coffee?”

“What?! I’m with child, Grace, I can’t have COFFEE! What are you, mad in the head?! Do you WANT me to have a miscarriage?!”

“Mum! Calm down!” I said, raising my voice to get through to her. She took a deep breath, before plopping herself into a seat.

“I’m sorry, Grace. I didn’t mean to lash out at your coffee,” she apologized. “All I can really drink is fucking water, milk or orange juice and it’s pissing me off.”

“I know,” I said. “I would be too. Why don’t you eat something?”

“Just for me to throw it up again? Ha. I think not,” mum growled.

“Sammie?”

“What do you want, Billie?!”

“... nothing,” he said, knowing now wasn’t a great time to be asking shit. I rolled my eyes.

“Almost enough to dump him all together,” I said, glancing back, hopefully. She scowled back at me. “I tried...”

Later, the phone rang. I answered it, knowing mum wasn’t going to get up from hogging the sofa, leaving Billie to sit on the floor. It amused me highly. I chewed off a bit of my chocolate I was eating, tearing the toffee away from the remaining bit of the bar before picking it up.

“Hello?” I asked, my mouth full of chocolate, nuts and toffee.

“Hiya, sweet stuff!” said a familar Brooklyn accent. I nearly choaked on my chocolate. I must’ve sounded like a total slob.

“Oh, hey Aiden,” I replied, trying to sweeten my tone. In the living room, I heard Joey mimick my attempt at a sweet voice. I decided to ignore it for the time being.

“So, me and the gang are heading off, you wanna tag along?” Aiden asked.

“Sure” I said. “Let me just get changed and I’ll be off.”

“Aw, sweet, just head over to my place, yea?”

“Yea.” I still held the reciever, yet, he never hung up.

“... you still there?” I heard Aiden ask.

“Um... yea,” I replied.

“... I’m not hanging up first.”

“Well, niehter am I.”

“Alright, we’ll both go. Ready... one... two... three.” Nothing happened. “... Grace?”

“Yes, I’m here. You go fi-!”

The phone was rudely snatched away from me and I looked over to see Joey, scowling at the reciever. “Bye Aiden,” he said, loudly into the reciever before hanging up. I gawped at him, glaring. “It’s not that hard Grace. You see, what you do is... lift the phone... and put it back again when the person stops talking. Like so.” He lifted the phone and them slammed it back down again.

“That was rude!” I snapped.

“Grace? Can’t you stay here and mind Hollie?” mum asked. I groaned loudly.

“Muuuuum. Make Joey do it,” I whined.

“But... Hollie likes you more,” mum said.

“I want Joey!” Hollie screamed, looking up from her make shift picnic. “Joey played with me yesterday!”

“... really?” I asked, looking back at him.

“Yea... she wanted me to be the royal invite to her tea party,” Joey muttered, looking down at the ground, slightly embarrassed. I scoffed in high amusement. Hollie, however, beamed her beautiful smile she was so often complimented for.

“I like Joey,” she giggled. “He lets me hit things with sticks!”

“What?” Billie asked, sitting up right, looking over at his son.

“Relax, dad. I let her have a beat on the drums” Joey explained.

“What?” It was mums turn to act shocked.

“She didn’t break them or anything. In fact, she’s a little expert,” Joey smiled at the little toddler. Hollie laughed her cute little laugh.

“Joey said that one day, I’ll sell tons of songs!” she said. I was beginning to feel jealous now. Joey was a better big sibling to Hollie than I was. I scowled over at him. I made sure that would change.

“Do you mind watching Hollie and Kage?” mum asked.

“Mum, I don’t need a babysitter!” Kage moaned.

“Shut up,” mum told him. Kage pouted slightly, crossing his arms, huffing, his glare fixed on the t.v. Jake, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to anything that was happening.

“Yea, I’ll watch them,” Joey said. “I mean... if Grace doesn’t see Aiden, the world will stop spinning, y’know?” I widened my eyes before giving him a death glare.

And so, I was let out. I walked myself over to Aiden’s. Aiden answered the door for me and I didn’t even go inside. Emily, Tord and Lisa followed him out and soon, we were met up with Jason and Jordan. Idina also came around eventually. But someone was missing...

“Hey,” Jordan asked, looking around. “Where’s Don?”

“He’ll show up. He told me he was coming,” Lisa said, her mouth full of fries that we had gotten. “And Don always comes when told.”

“Ha... that sounded sooo wrong,” Jason snickered. Lisa tossed a fry at him. “OI! No fry tossing, little missy!” Lisa merely stuck her tounge out at him.

“So, a little birdie told me you two spent a night together,” Jordan said, his eyes darting between Lisa and Jason. Lisa raised an eyebrow.

“Who told you that?”

“Jason.”

“Wha- bu- feh- ha- no!” Jason stammered, his face gaining more colour by the second.

“Yeaaaa, you’re blushing,” Emily cackled.

“It wasn’t what you thought. Jason’s dad came home drunk again, so he came over to me and Edward’s place,” Lisa said, shrugging.

“Oh, so who’s Edward?” I asked.

“My older brother,” Lisa said.

“Yea. Lisa lives with her older brother coz she’s too awesome for parental guidance,” Jason said, looking at her with hidden admiration. He tried to pass it off on his face that he didn’t care, but in his eyes, there was a spark of awe.

“Oh, get a room,” Tord said, wrinkling up his nose, noticing Jason’s look.

“Actually, no Tord,” Lisa said, gulping down some fries. “I think I’ll just take Jason there on the sidewalk for you to watch.”

“Oh, gross, thanks for that picture!” Aiden said, disgustedly and loudly.

“Where’s your parents?” I asked.

“That, my friend, is a long story,” Lisa said. “You see, my parents... they were complete dicks to me and Edward. So they-!”

“Oh, oh, OH!” Tord mini-jumped up and down. “Can I tell the story?”

“No, Tord.”

“Aw...”

“Anyway, where was I?” Lisa thought back. “Oh yea. So they came home drunk all the time and they used to make us clean everything for the sake of us working our asses off. And they wouldn’t let us talk to anyone else coz they thought they’d ‘call the authorities’ or something. So... we just decided to get the fuck out of there.”

“Seriously? Did they not look for you?” I asked.

“That’s the beauty of it, they weren’t bothered. They just disowned us,” Lisa said, shrugging, as if it were simply nothing.

“Edward is pretty badass too,” Emily said. “Y’know, he...” She trailed off, squinting in the distance. “Oh... my... God... it’s Don... he hasn’t taken his medication...”

I looked over to see Don. And he looked much worse than when I last saw him. He was dragging his feet a little, his shoulder hunched up as if he were waiting for someone to pounce from behind. His eyes hard dark circles around them, his hair was a horrid mess. He was wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday and there seemed to be a large book clasped to his chest. His eyes darted to the right and the left. And his hands were trembling, shaking the book with it.

“Oh God... cover Gracie’s eyes... she doesn’t wanna see this...” Tord said.

“What’s wrong with him?” I asked.

“He’s got head medication he has to take... I knew he didn’t take them yesterday,” Aiden said. “Don?”

Don finally approached, his bottem lip trembling.

“A-Aiden...” The book dropped the ground as Don grabbed Aiden’s shoulders. Aiden stared back into Don’s emerald green eyes, which were wide with fear. “Man... they’re coming...”

“No one is coming for you, Don,” Tord said.

“Yes they are... they’re everywhere... no one will be spared, not even the children!” Don threw his arms up into the air.

“Don, calm down!”

“Hey man, did you hear the news today man, they’re plan is coming to permission man, they’ve got a plan, man,” Don whimpered, his eyes were even trembling. “They’re monitering all of us, even the babies, man! Certain ingrediants are used in gum to control our minds!”

“Don... did you get home last night?” I asked, getting a strong whiff of him.

“Toothpaste is also used as a mind controlling ingrediant, why do you think they tell us to do it three times a day?!”

“... so we won’t have tooth decay,” Emily said, raising an eyebrow.

“Y-yea... yea,” Don said, pointing a shaking finger at her. “That’s what they want us to think... that’s what the man wants. But we all get cavitys ANYWAY!”

“Don-!”

“GLOBAL WARMING IS COMING!” Don suddenly blew up, moving his arms sparactically, screaming his lungs out. “THERE WILL BE NO CALIFORNIA IN FIFTY YEARS! Our overheated seas will rise, leaving deadly, scorching deserts of places that once fed the world!”

Lisa’s hand flew up to slap Don around the face. Don stood there, blinking, his eyes still wide and trembling in fear. “Listen to us!” she shouted at him. Don leaned back violently when she shouted, whimpering.

“Don...” The Brooklyn accent seemed to give some form of comfort to the frightened conspiracy theorist, as a small fraction of the tension in his eyes menlted away. “No one is coming for us. California will still be here in fifty years.”

“B-b-b-but 2012 is coming man,” Don squeaked.

“Don, did you get home last night?” I repeated. Don looked over at me.

“How could I possibly sleep knowing that every millisecond is nearing the end of the world?!”

“I dunno. I do,” Tord said, shrugging. Emily hit his arm to shut him up, and Tord muttered a silent "ow..."

“Don... where did you go last night?” I asked, softly, worried I might trigger him off if I asked too stern questions.

“I slept in the gutter, it’s where we’ll all be when the plan is carried out anyway!” Don said, my worries fulfilling themselves.

“Come on,” Idina's timid voice said. “We need to get you home and on the meds again.”

“Ohhh, that’s right,” Don snarled, his tone changing dramatically. “Numb me. Make it seem like it’s not happening. But you’ll see...”

Idina slung her arm around his shoulder and led him away, with us slowly following.

“How often does this happen?” I asked.

“Not often... once ever five or six months," Jason replied.

“Twice if we’re lucky,” Tord snickered. He got a collection of glares. “... oh, come on. It’s kinda amusing.”

When we got Don home, we noticed his mother taking fits and fits of panic attacks about him not coming home last night. Apparently, she called everyones parents to check if he were there. I half expected Don to be... disowned, not Lisa. I darted my eyes between the two. I could try to explain Mrsd Richardson to you... She was one of “those” women, who still think it’s alright to wear sixties dresses with weird pictures of fruit or hearts on them. When she answered, she was wearing a white dress, with red hearts all over it. Her lips were ruby red and her hair was long and auburn, in perfect curls.

Don’s mother embraced her son tightly, almost weeping, showering him with kisses and cooing softly to him, words that I couldn’t catch, but whatever it was, Don nodded at whatever she said, tears rolling down his face as he whimpered something about 2012. I couldn’t help but feel sorry and guilty for Don. He was mentally challenged, I felt ashamed at myself for just assuming that he wasn’t, just because he had a large group of awesome friends. I wanted to kick myself. I watched Aiden get his medication before giving it to him. Don took it, the pills rattled inside in his shaking hands as he attempted to unscrew the lid.

“Let me do that, sweetie,” Don’s mother said, taking the pills from him. “You sit down, honey. I’ll make you some hot chocolate.” Jason pulled out a chair for his troubled pal, who nearly fell as he tried to sit down.

“I can’t thank you enough for getting him home,” Don’s mother continued.

“Don’t mention it, Lottie,” Jason smiled.

“Yea. I can’t believe he slept in the gutter,” Lisa said, looking over at Don, as Emily handed him a blanket. “We should’ve known he hadn’t taken his meds last night.”

“Oh, it’s not your fault sweetie,” Lottie said, handing her son a pill from the little tub. Her eyes fell on me. “Oh, you must be Grace!”

“Yea, I’m Grace,” I smiled.

“Nice to meet you” she said. “Don has been telling me about you when we were coming home from intensive therapy.” I nearly winced at the words. I admired Don for being so... approaching and open about himself, even though he’s mentally challenged. I would have closed myself up... even more. Don looked at the little yellow and blue pill on the table in front of him, then at the glass of water Jason put down for him, than at his mother. "Yes. That's for you," Lottie said to him, soothingly. I watched as Don slowly picked up the small pill and the glass of water, sallowing them in the appropriate order.

“My brain hurts...” Don said, his eyes going wide, replacing fear with... nothingness. Just white spheres with green saucers, staring into space. Slowly, his eyelids drooped, a lazy, wide smile spreading over his lips, a small giggle leaving his mouth. “Butterflies...”

“That should do him,” Lottie said, kissing the side of his head gentally. “Would you like to lie down, Don?”

He looked over at her, his smile growing, his eyelids drooping even more, making him look almost perverted. “Hello Barney... have you come to teach me how to skip rope over the rainbow?”

“Aiden, be a dear and take him up to bed for me, would you?” Lottie asked. Aiden bit his bottem lip, an expression of uneasiness spreading across his face as he glanced down at Don, he looked back trhough glazed yet twinkling eyes. Everything about Don was... lazy. His posture, his eyes, his smile... even his talking.

“Yea... sure,” Aiden said. “C’mon mate.” He helped Don up, who didn’t seem to be able to walk right either. He banged into the door frame, causing him to stumble back and causing Jordan to lurch out and grab him before he fell back. Don burst out into hysterical giggling.

“Owwww,” he slurred.

“Watch where you’re going, Don!” Lottie said, wincing.

And so, Don was put to sleep. Lottie thanked us again, asking if we would stay for hot chocolate. We denied it... well, all but Tord, who moaned bitterly about not getting any on the way back.

“But I wanted some!”

“No one else did, so shut up” Emily told him.

“You shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“Stop it” Tord said, shoving her gentally.

“You stop it” Emily replied, shoving him more violently.

“OW!”

So, after a few more hours of mucking about on the street, we all went home. Aiden walked me home, considering we were neighbours. I couldn’t help but notice Emily and Tord left together.

“Why do you think they did that?” I asked.

“I dunno, they’re probably gonna fuck” Aiden said, shrugging. “We’re all kinda waiting for it to happen at this point. Remind me to ask them if it was good.”

“I will” I laughed. I paused when I saw "The Wall" come into view. I groaned. "Oh, Lord."

"What is it?" Aiden asked me, tilting his head, his mouth creasing into a frown.

"The Wall," I said, pointing at it, noticing Jessica perched on it, laughing her high pitched laugh. Aiden rolled his eyes.

"It's a wall, Grace."

"Not the wall, the thing on it."

Aiden glanced at it and saw Jessica. "Ah. That plastic blonde?"

"Yes, that plastic blonde."

"Oh. What did she do to you?"

"She got her cheerleading squad and her jock fantasiser's to chase me and throw eggs, paintballs and water balloons at me," I explained.

"She did wh- right, come with me."

"Aiden, noooo," I groaned, as he tried to pull me towards the wall. Jessica saw us coming. A coy, perverted smile spread across her face when she saw Aiden, but when she saw me she instantly scowled. She jumped off the wall.

"Hi, Grace," she said, sweetly.

"Hey Jessica," I muttered.

"Oh, you're Jessica?" Aiden asked, brightening suddenly.

Jessica smirked and nodded, "that's me. And what's your name, handsome?"

"Aiden. Aiden Richie."

She gasped. "Th... the Aiden Richie?" I then realised that these people, the people that Aiden hung out with, were basically royality around here. Or at least one of them was, because I heard whispering of Don's name through the girls and going into fits of giggles. I remembered Don was a ladies man, a womanizer. "Isn't... where's the others?"

"I have a message from Don for you," Aiden explained, with a slow, clever smile forming on his lips, "he wants you to meet him. Do you know where the park is?"

"Yes," Jessica squealed, "why?"

"He'll meet you there tomorrow, say... at one?" Aiden asked.

"Oh... yea, tell him I said I'll be there!" Jessica grinned. Aiden's smile was very secretive, I could tell. he was hiding something.

"Awesome. He'll be ever so pleased," Aiden grinned. "Oh, and bring your friends, if you want. In fact, we're all going tomorrow anyway, he just wants to take you away for a moment in the park tomorrow. And he said... wear something sexy."

"Oh, yes, alright," Jessica giggled, "I'll so be there!"

"Wearing?"

"Something sexy!"

"Good girl. Now, I have to take my girlfriend home," Aiden gave her a sickly sweet smile. She gawped at me.

"Do you mean Grace?" she asked. Aiden nodded.

"Oh yes. I do. She's a little fire cracker, I love her," he said, cleverly. I felt my cheeks heat up and a smile form on my lips. "And if anyone were to hurt her, well, I'd have to kick them so hard up the ass, they'll forget their name."

Jessica's smile faded a little, "oh, yea, me and Grace are rather close."

"I see," Aiden said, "well, toodles, Jessica. See you tomorrow with Don."

When we were a safe distance away, I asked, "what the hell? What have you got against poor Don, hooking her up with that?"

"I'm not," Aiden said, smartly, "just you be in the park at half twelve. I'll tell the others about the plan." He walked me up to the door, "you'll be thanking me for this after, believe me."

"What have you got planned?" I smirked.

"You'll see soon enough, it's a surprise," Aiden said, winking. "For now, I bid you goodnight."

"Alright," I smiled.

“See you tomorrow, sweet stuff,” Aiden grinned.

“Yea, tomorrow,” I said, reaching up to kiss him. After we shared our somewhat soppy goodbyes, I opened the front door to Billie’s house and left Aiden outside, who was walking away anyway. I closed the door and suddenly, I was attacked by Billie.

“YOU WILL NEVER GUESS THE FUCK WHAT!” he yelled, grinning like a child who had just been given a life supply of chocolate.

“No, I won’t,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “So, care to supply me with knowledge?”

“So, you know that scan we went to today?” he explained, leading me into the living room. “It turns out-!”

“I’m having twins!” mum shouted, grinning estatically. “Twins! It’ll mean twice the labour and more work after the labour, but fucking twins!”

“Isn’t that just the greatest shit ever?” Billie exclaimed, just as pleased. “And ones a girl and ones a boy. How fucking random is that?! It’s awesome!”

“Isn’t it?” mum added.

“... twins?” I asked, blinking, only comprehending the information at that moment. “Oh joy, more offspring of Billie Joe.”

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna hate these kids too...” Billie said, frowning instantly.

I opened my mouth to make a witty and evil remark about his future twin kids but then I remembered... they would be concieved by the exact same woman who gave birth to me... sure, they would Billie’s blood in their little bodies, but they would also have mums. And so do I. They would be my little sister and my little brother. Mine. We differ in fathers... but we would all come from the same woman. I looked over at mum and saw the hopeful sorrow in her eyes. I tried to cough the remark up, but it seemed to disslove in my throat. I couldn’t hate those two twins. Not even if I wanted to. I felt my face drop from a scowl to a simple sympathetic frown and I relaxed my shoulders.

“No. I won’t,” I muttered. Mum smiled.

“Thanks Grace,” Billie said, hugging me.

“But hug me again, I’ll kill you with your own balls,” I snarled. Billie let go of me.

Twins. A boy and a girl. It almost seemed to... unreal.

I turned to go upstairs, but then I looked back at Billie and said, "you know what that means though, right?"

"No, what?" he asked me.

"It means your sperm is abnormal. Goodnight."