Billie Joe Armstrong Is My Step-Father...and I Hate It

Scribbling stuff down on paper was my escape. It seemed that paper was the only thing that undestood or listened to what I had to say about this. It just... absorbed it all, and it never forgot. It was there forever. Even if you erase what you wrote, you still wrote it and it will always be there. Even if you can’t see it, it’s there. When you crumple it up and throw it away, it’ll be there for the rest of enternity. When it rots away, the words will lingire on forever. So girls, never really write down stupid scribbles like you do on your school books. Because they’ll always be there, even you physically destroy it with fuel and flames, the words never leave. They’re always there, ready to pounce back to attack you.

Unlike me. I will always hate Billie. I kept writing all over the paper that I hated him, using my colourful vocabulary. In thick black pen, I wrote my words in form of of some... thing. Not quite a soppy poem, not quite a hatred song. Just... words. That sum up my feelings about everything. Call me emo if you may, but this is what I do.

My iPod was playing freely on it’s docks.

Mama.

Just kill the man

Put a gun against his head

Pull the trigger, now he’s dead

Perfect. I wrote it down, with a smirk. Yet my pencil snapped in my harsh grasp when that oh-too familar voice rang out, saying something that really and truely pissed. Me. OFF.

“And this is Grace.” I slowly looked over at the door to see two smaller Billie’s as well as their master brain. My eyes widened in horror. Fuck. No. They’re here. I said nothing. The silence said it all. And here’s what it said: I hate you already, you can burn in hell for all I fucking care. “But she doesn’t like me very much.”

“Oh ho” I said, sarcastically. “Are these the cronies then?”

“See?” Billie shrugged.

“Lemme guess... Number one”, I pointed and Joey, “And Number Two.” I pointed at the second one, the smaller one, who looked quite afraid of me. Ha. I towered over him already.

“How’d you know?” Billie smirked.

“... wild guess” I said, sarcastically. “So, are you gonna move along or are you gonna let these two stare at me like some wild animal in a zoo?”

“It’s better just to do what she says” Billie said, moving along, the smallest following immediantly. The older one stayed, smirking at me.

“... can I help you?” I hissed.

“You seem to really hate him. As in... you’re really taking it hard on him” he said. “I mean... jeez, I’m upset my parents divorced too but-!”

“HA! THAT’S the pathetic story he told you?! My dad is DEAD, nitwit!” I seethed. “And HE’S replacing him!” Silence.

“I still don’t get it. You two should be getting along really well if that’s the case” Joey said.

“Well, we aren’t, little boy” I said, emphasizing the words “little boy” because I swear, he was scanning his eyes all over my body. “In fact, I hate your dads guts.”

“Well, do you hate me?” he asked.

“You’re doing a pretty good job on doing that yourself” I snapped. “Clear off, fucker.”

“But wait...” he continued. I made a loud sound in annoyance.

“UGH! You’re more annoying that those buzzing flies!” I exploded. “Fuck it then, you better come in if you’re not gonna leave.” He did so. Damn. I was hoping he’d leave. “I didn’t MEAN-!”

“Hasn’t your mum tried to stop this?” he asked.

“She still is” I said, smirking at him. “But I’m more stubborn than a lazy donkey in scorching summer sun.” His glance fell down to the pictures on my bed.

“Whoa, you drew them?!”

“Some” I said, taking a slight interest in his fascination. “My dad drew the rest. Me and my little brother Kage follow in his footsteps a lot. We’re not even sure about Holly yet.” He lifted a few gentally, as if they were fine china. I winced at him touching my precious pictures but I didn’t seem to stop him. I was glad he took an interest in my drawings. I always felt proud when someone compliments my drawings.

“I take it your dad drew these ones...” he said, touching one of mum laughing, which was my favourite one.

“Yea- hey, don’t smudge the charcoal!” I gasped, lifting his wrist. Oh fuck. That was close.

“Sheesh, sorry” he laughed. “Oh, is this you?” He touched another one, but really quickly and softly this time, as if it were a nuclear bomb. Well, if he smudged it, there WILL be an explosion anyway.

“Yea, that’s me” I smiled. It was one of me in my Irish dress, one leg in front of the other, my arms out stretched and my eyes wide open in exhileration, my mouth open in some form of cry of excitment. After all, I was only six at the time. Then he picked up my sheet of writing, read through it and winced. And the whole time, my arms were crossed, a smirk smeared across my face. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Is that my dad calling?” he said, his voice croaky, despite clearing it, standing up. He must’ve read what I wrote in the top right hand corner. He walked towards the door but turned.

“Yenno, if your mum and my dad ever broke up, would you consider-?”

“No.”

“Not even if-?”

“No.” And with that, he left. I took the pictures off my bed and carefully placed them away before lying on my bed. I was so tired. I felt my eyes closing slowly, and I was fading into a sleep...

I had a strange dream. It was almost like Alice’s dream, only I fell off a cliff. And I kept falling. Falling, falling, never getting closer to the ground. And the whole time, I heard his voice. HIS voice. Damn, I must be getting closer to hell if I’m hearing Billie Joe talk to me. I could see my dad in the sky above me, which was getting furhter away with each second. He was tryign to get me. But a pair of hands were dragging me down... Billie Joe. And he was saying the same thing, over and over and over again...

“Wake up, Grace!”

I did. I woke up. I never reached the ground. It had to be night, because it was lighter before. “Wh-what? Oh... I fell asleep I think...” I felt drowsy. I never fall asleep durign the day, really. Never for that long anyway. I looked around, my eyes landing on him. “You...” I hissed, sitting up. “What are you doing in my room?!”

“I thought I might wake you up because you looked uncomfortable sleeping in that dress of yours” he said, almost sickly sweet. I looked down at my creased dress. Fuck, NO!

“Wha- BUT I NEED THIS!” I cried. “What time is it?!”

“About... half an hour to midnight” he said. God. I’m never going to get it ironed in time. I had dress rehersals tomorrow.

“Move, dickhead” I said, hopping out of bed, stumbling a bit after having been lying down for hours. “I have to ask mum to iron this.”

“Whoa there, it’s too late now, she’s already half way to sleep. She’s really tried yenno.” My mum is always tired over the summer holidays. “She’s just been sick.” Ah. Wait, what?! Sick?!

Now, what causes a woman to be “sick”? I blinked. Shit. No, Please God. Please, I don’t want to have an Armstrong sibling!

“... DUMBASS, SHE’S PREGNANT!” I screamed. He was slow on reacting on that. It wasn’t until my mum screamed “shut up” from her room that he laughed.

“What? She’s not pregnant!” he said.

“She is! It explains so much! Her moods, she was sick, she’s eating a lot...” Mum had been eating a lot of chocolate biscuits and stuff like that. She always asked Billie if he was going to finish what she made for him. I didn’t catch on until now.

“... well... maybe her being sick was because she ate too much” he said, slightly off his own idea. But he turned and walked out, asking “Sammie?”

“What is it, sugar?” mum asked, from her bed. I heard the springs move on her bed.

“I... well... I t hink... tomorrow, you better go get a pregnancy test” he said. Mum laughed. Loud.

“Don’t be a dumb fuck, Billie. I’m not pregnant just... hungry... a lot... actually, I think you’re right, just to be sure...”

So, the next day, I sat impatiently in the living room, with Kage doing that annoying kicking his legs things against the sofa. “Do you mind?!”

“Yes.”

“I would call you something if you weren’t young enough to know what it means” I hissed. Suddenly, the door opened. It was only Billie Joe.

“I blame you for this” I hissed. Joey rolled his eyes, I saw. “It’s your fault too!”

“... mine?! How?!”

“YOU’RE the one who gave him the expirence!” I hissed. He gagged at me before wincing.

“Never say that again” he said.

“Mental note... say that again” I muttered, smirking. The younger one, Jakob, seemed to want to be as far away from me as possible. I think I was doing enough to him without saying anything to him. That would just be a little bit too mean. It wasn’t long until mum re entered the room.

“We have to wait three minutes” she said. An exaggerated groan filled the room. Holly looked around, confused.

“Whats happening?” Holly asked.

“C’mere and I’ll tell you” Billie said, pulling her onto his lap. I winced, scowled and looked away in a major sulk. Fucker. I heard him talking to her until she screamed with excitment, giggling. Holly loved little kids, even if she was one of them. Maybe not, she is three, she’s old enough to know what it means when mum is going to have a baby. A younger sister or brother. Which means a baby. And Holly loves babies.

Mum sat down beside her lover boy and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m getting too old for this...”

“Don’t be an idiot, as long as your always young on the inside” he said, kissing her on the cheek. Kage gagged and Joey, yet again, rolled his green eyes. I still sulked. Only, much more this time. Three minutes passed. Mum held out the stick thing, and examined it.

“Oh...” she said. Silence. It didn’t sound positive, so I let myself relax. Thank God she wasn’t... “I’m pregnant!”

Fuck it.