I'm Sorry...

Dear Mother,

I'm so sorry that every time you ask me if I'm depressed, I say no. I don't mean to lie. I don't like to lie. I just want you to be happy. Already all of your four other children and your husband have mental illnesses. And that's not counting ADD. I just want you to feel like I'm the least problematic child. I know that compared to bi-polar and aspergers my depression is nothing but I know you'd be so disappointed in me. And I already know I'm a disappointment to you, I'm so sorry. I know I'm lazy and I don't mean to be. But it's so hard to put on a brave face all day at school and then at home, so I hide away in my room.
I'm sorry but I lied to you. I do cut. I still am. And it's getting worse. I just don't want to tell you, to hurt you.
I'm sorry I get annoyed when you ask me for help, it's not because I don't care, it's because I am so stressed. I don't mean to take it out on you but it's so hard to be nice to anyone.
I'm sorry mom but that time I ran away from home and when I came home, you asked me if I did anything drastic and I said no, that was a lie as well. I'm sorry. I stabbed myself with glass from the side of the road many times and caused internal bleeding in my arm. I beat myself with a rock and I jumped in front of a car. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry mom, but I've attempted suicide five times. I just can't take it anymore, I'm sorry. I love you.

Yours sincerely,
Your loving daughter,
Niamh.