You're My Favorite Explosion.

"Hey Sarah!" I smiled as I walked through the doors of the little coffee shop.

It had been three days since I last talked to her but she had already been booking things up the ass. So I took a last few days of peace. These days mainly included laying in bed ALL day with Jack. Which honestly was the best thing I had done in a while. JAck and I fit so well together. We both couldn't help ourselves from stupid sexual jokes, and always telling eachother nasty things. It just came so naturally, and that was good. Neither one of us had to try to have fun around eachother because it was just like that.

I mindlesly played with my coffee cup as Sarah dragged on and on about oppurtunities. I didn't even pay much attention as I just sat there. I thought about Jack and how much I liked him. I thought about Kayden and Alex. Itmade me smile as Sarah kept talking about me moving to new york and, Wait, WHAT?

"Wait, back up Sarah! Move where?" I said with wide eyes.

"Well, it is an option. But I mean it is probably best for your career." she shrugged.

"But, I have a boyfriend...." I sighed.

"Well, here is how it works, we would only need you in New York for the next 6 months, until off season. Your boyfriend could come with you then, and then after the modeling season you can go back home." she smiled reassuringly.

I calculated this in my head. Six months from now would be June. June is summer, The guys aren't going back on tour until July. It would work out fine if Jack came with me, and then we'd be back in time for him to go on tour.

"Let me think more about this. I need to talk to Jack." I told Sarah with a smile on my face.

Think of all the adventures Jack and I could have in New York City. Drinking coffee in unknown diners. Seeing shows on broadway. Living in an awesome studio apartment. Staying up all night on rooftops just watching the city lights. Eating Bagels on a daily basis. It would be SO awesome, just me and Jack off on our own for a while. Living the BIG city life.

While Sarah went on and on for the next hour I just thought. I thought of all the pros and cons of going to New York. All the things I could accomplish with Jack by myside. I thought of the nightlife, all the parties we'd get invited too. All the awesome concerts we could go to. I thought about Central Park, and all the art fairs. I thought about all the museums, all these things I could learn from and remember for the rest of my life! It was the most amazing oppurtunity I had ever been given.

Sarah and I finally were done and I walked out of the coffee shop and pulled my ear to my phone. I called Jack three times but he didn't answer. I was a little weirded out but I remembered he had to go grocery shopping today so he probably left his phone in the car on accident. Shaking it off I dialed Alex's number.

'hello there mamacita! How are you feeling on this fine day Celina?'

'hey Alex. I uhm, I really need to talk to you.'

'sure, wanna meet me in the park?'

'yeah. I'll see you in twenty?'

'for sure. Byeeee!'

I sighed and hung up the phone before running across the crowded street where my car was parked. I fed the ghange into the dirty parking meter and then got into my car and drove to the park in a nice pace. I smiled when I pulled into the parking lot and alredy saw Alex sitting on a bench waiting for me. He looked warm and snug in his big winter jacket and his urban outfitters beanie. A smile grew on his face as I walked over to the bench he was at and took a seat.

"So, whats up with you Cel?" he started.

"Okay. I don't want any comments. Just listen for a sec." I took a deep breath in and then continued "Today, sarah told me that it would be a good thing to go to New York for the next six months. I was very wary about it at first because, well Jack and I JUST GOT STARTED. As I began to think about it, your tour isn't until mid july, I'd come back early June. So, what if I just invited Jack to come along with me. You know, just live big city life together, it'd be SUCH an adventure!!" I smiled and looked overat Alex who wore a shocked expression.

"Well.... I certainly don't want you to leave Cel.... Are you going to go talk to Jack?" he asked.

"Yes, of course. I just wanted to run the idea by you first so you could tell me if it was like, sensible or not..." I shrugged.

"I think Jack will be flattered by you asking him to go with you." alex smiled.

"I'm gonna go to his house and tell him right now." I stood up to go and then turned back around.

"Hey Alex, he won't answer my calls, will you text him real qick and make sure he is home..." I asked him.

I watched Alex smile and nod before typing away at his iPhone. We waited in silence for a few moments and then heard the familiar ping . Alex read the text with a confused look on his face.

"Welllll, is he home or not?" i asked him.

"Yes.... But he uh. Well, I-uhm dont think you should go over there right now.." Alex sighed.

"Oh, whatever! I'm going! I will call you afterwards and tell you how it goes!" I ignored Alex's blank stare and ran to my car excited to tell Jack the news.
*******************************

After the twenty minute drive to Jack's house I stopped my car in front of his house and took a big deep breath in. I was so excited but I just didn't know how Jack would react to what I had to say. My fingers trembled as I opened up my car door and slid out of my car. I walked slowly to the front door and then hesitated as I pulled on the door handle and opened it. Valencia and Fenix came running towards me licking me happilly and jumping up on to my legs. I heard noise and thumping coming from Jack's bedroom.

I walked up the stairs slowly hoping to catch Jack jumping on his bed or dancing around not expecting to be caught. So when I reached his bedroom and heard the mix CD Jack and I had made for "sexy time" I laughed knowing my previous thoughts were probably correct. I grabbed the door knob and twisted slightly creaking open the door just enough to see what I needed.

I saw everything I needed.

I quickly shut the door and slid down onto the ground. I put my head in between my knees and just let the thought run freely through my mind and the tears run fastly down my cheeks.

We haven't even been together for an official week, and he's already done this? maybe he has an excuse? a reasonable one at that? THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR WHAT HE'S DOING CELINA. He is already just throwing this down the drain. He never really loved me, of course he didn't he is a fucking ROCKSTAR. I guess I should just realize I will never be good enough for anything in this life. He can't know I am here. I need to leave. I need to come back when he is gona and I need to get my stuff and then buy the next plane ticket to NYC. Maybe I should give him another chance? Maybe he is just fucked up... NO! Celina, it is two in the fucking afternoon, there is no way he is drunk.... he has to have a valid explanation for this.... Or maybe he just used you for sex, he doesn't really love you.

I picked my limp body up off of the floor and I carried myself slowly down to my car. I drove to MY apartment complex and I parked in the parking lot and just cried. I would have stayed in my car all night is Alex wouldn't have came knocking on my window.