These Words Are My Heart and Soul

He moaned as my hand brushed his crotch delicately; I craftily ran a finger up his thigh and swept the tips of my fingers across him again, making him shake with moans. Slowly, I slipped a hand into his pants, massaging him and rubbing him contently as he just sat enjoying every moment. I pulled my hand away and moved to the end of the bed, sitting innocently - tempting him, making him want me more and more.

“Come and get it, sugar.”

And he dived on me, attacking my lips with such force that I was almost pushed off the bed. Both of my hands slipped into his pants, still not breaking the seal between him and his underpants. I rubbed him again, making him moan into my mouth and kiss me more fiercely. My hands came out of his pants and up the inside of his tee-shirt, sliding across his chest and gripping his nipples, again making him moan. My fingers subconsciously came out of his shirt and ran up to his hair, twirling a few curls between them.

Suddenly, I shoved him off me, ripping his shirt off and placing my lips against his chest. My fingers traced down his chest, down his belly and round his navel a few times, stopping to trace the tattoo closest to his belt. My lips moved lower as I slowly fiddled with the belt on his jeans, undoing it and his jeans. I tore them off and threw them into a random corner, my mouth taunting him by kissing the tattoo closest to his area.

“Purr for mommy, baby.”

He purred gently and winked at me, arousal obvious in his every feature. I grinned and suddenly placed my lips to his crotch, kissing it gently as he groaned from the tension he was feeling. My hand crept up the leg of his boxers and rubbed him, pumping him and causing him to moan and pant as I grew faster. Me being the evil person I am, I pulled away and sat in his lap, straddling his hips and moving suggestively, grinding my hips into his as I pulled my shirt off over my head slowly.

His hands shot to my back where his fingers undid the less-than-fiddly catch on my bra, releasing me slightly and leaving me naked from the waist up.

“A bit slow off the mark today.”

I grinned and he pulled off the rest of my clothes, throwing them randomly and occasionally kissing some part of me. When he was finally done stripping me, he pulled off his boxers quickly. I straddled him again, making no attempt to do anything. This made him pout, which made me laugh and cock an eyebrow knowingly.

He flipped us over so he was on top and attacked my lips again, slowly pushing himself in. I let out a shuddering moan from the back of my throat, scratching his back lightly with my nails. He pulled out, almost all the way, before thrusting back in quickly. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out as he thrust once, twice, three times.

Our moaning and panting continued, bringing us both closer to the climax it resulted in. In a twisted turn of events, he found that place hidden away that made me make a noise I’d never uttered seriously before. A cross between a moan, a yell and a scream and it shot right through me, something inside me feeling like an explosion.

As he grew faster and faster, I could tell he was coming too. I moaned along with him as the exploding sensation continued, until he thrust one last time, and just once more for good luck. And stayed there inside of me, our sweaty bodies sticking together as our panting started to fade into a normal breathing pattern. He placed his face in the crook of my neck and whispered two small words that I loved hearing him say.

“Fuck me…”

“I just did.”

He laughed and rolled off of me, landing in his usual spot in the bed. As my chest stopped heaving and my breathing calmed, I leaned over and started kissing his tattoo. For the sole purpose to drive him mad.

“Again!?”

I just grinned and nipped him slightly, making him groan. I knew he was tired and despite the fact that he desperately wanted to again, his mind was going out of control trying to tell him not to. I nipped again, slipping a hand under the sheets. He gasped slightly, his hand gripping my hair and head as if begging me to go lower.

So I obeyed him, pulling back the sheet and taking him into my mouth. I ran my tongue along his length and over his tip, making him moan lightly from the back of his throat. My hand and mouth began pumping him in time, each one earning moans and gasps from him. He bucked his hips in time with me, his moans growing louder and his breathing growing heavier as I brought him closer.

He pushed me away suddenly, making me land with a deafening thud on the floor. I sighed and stood up, walking over to the corner where my clothes had ended up. Pulling them on, I walked the door and stumbled through it. I wasn’t angry; in fact, I was hungry.

“I’m hungry.”

This made him smile - he knew me all too well. He climbed out the bed, pulling on his own clothes (that were spread about the room) and following me. His hands found my waist as he walked behind, his crotch dangerously close to my ass. I smirked and turned round, kissing him lightly and pulling gently on his lip-ring. He grinned into the kiss, and I could see in his face that he was debating pushing me up against the wall and escalating the kiss into a full scale make-out session.

But he obviously decided against it, as his arms innocently snaked round my waist and held me close, his lips colliding sweetly and briefly with mine. I smiled and wrapped my arms round the back of his neck, his face being slowly buried further into my neck. He took a deep breath and sighed, and I felt his smile against my throat, causing me to grin to myself.

“Love you,” he whispered simply, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

I felt tears fill my eyes, and I pulled him tighter. My eyes were squeezed shut as painful memories exploded and swam around my head, making my heart break all over again. I may have acted like a hard nut that wasn’t concerned about my imperfections, but underneath, I was just as broken and scared as I deftly pretended not to be.

Those words hadn’t passed my lips in so many years; every time I’d had the unfortunate occurrence where it was said to me, I’d have said something simple and clever to mask the hurt they caused me. And though I genuinely was in love this time, the words withered and died on my lips, choked in my throat, stopped short on the tip of my tongue.

Trying not to let my voice waver, I muttered, “Uh huh.”

***
I did as he asked and turned round, facing the wall as he did what he was going to do. Something cold fell softly against my neck and I looked down. A plain necklace with a pendant in the shape of his first initial. The tears welled up in my eyes. In all the sixteen years I’d been alive, no one had shown me love like this before.

“As in…?”

“Yeah. I love you, and this is proof.”

Pulling him close, I returned his words with heart and soul on a platter. I trusted him, I let him in when I had a problem. I showed him I loved him, the first person to feel me in ways others couldn’t.

He gave me this symbol of his ‘undying love’ and made me trust that it was okay to let him break me, be inside me, have me in the way that’s supposed to mean something.

But he got his few fucks and left, leaving me the mess I became. All I had to remember him by were pictures taken in one of those cheap photo-boxes, and the plain chain with his initial. I guess I was stupid to think someone five years older than me could actually love someone like me.

So it was no longer making love; it became a mindless shag and I’d be off to the next one. I suppose I became a drunk as well, ending up in bed with any taker. Which there were a lot of, being young and easy on the eyes. Three years of this and I was the corrupted person that he met. The one who just wouldn’t leave.
***