These Words Are My Heart and Soul

“Fuck…”

Cariad went pale. I looked between the pair awkwardly, shuffling my feet as if I was putting out a cigarette. Something wasn’t right here.

“Uhm, who may I ask are you?”

“I’m Luke Bennett. Cariad’s husband.”

I looked at her, shocked and hurt that she hadn’t said anything. The color returned to her cheeks ten fold as Luke looked at her.

At this point, other people came into the room. Gerard sauntered in, holding his head but still capable of processing things (barely), Frank came down the stairs, looking curiously in his drunken disparity, and Mikey, who’d joined us late and particularly after the booze binge.

“Husband?” they all asked at the same time.

Their faces showed different degrees of confusion. Gerard was confused by the fact that Cariad, being young as she was, was married, and didn’t particularly know where he was anyway; Frank was confused that Cariad was married, and that someone like that would turn up at this hour; and Mikey, the most confused, was both that and hurt. Again, the she in his life had someone else.

The Luke guy nodded and Cariad scowled.

“I sent the divorce papers two years ago.”

The coldness in her voice was depressing. Something told me this guy was a total gay-knob, and considering he wasn’t too high on my good list for ruining what would have been a promisingly wild night at such an unorthodox hour, he was pushing it.

Before he could answer, Mikey’s fist collided with his jaw. Luke stumbled back in shock and in pain. Mikey was obviously seething. As Luke started to hit back, Gerard joined in. And, by experience, I knew Gerard was a force not to be messed with.

Just because Cariad was his friend and because he wanted to be a hero too, Frank joined in. But by Luke, being tall and rather big built (not fat), the guys were getting slightly pummeled.

I had to hold Cariad back. And as I did, she started to cry. I held her close, whispering in her ear that it’d be alright. I knew that that never worked, but I wanted to give her some kind of reassurance. She was my best friend, I hated seeing her upset.

The guys managed to shove Luke out the house.

“You’ll get your fucking divorce, you whore!”

Those were his last words as he left our lives as rapidly as he’d entered them. That night (and morning) was such a fucking hectic one.

It took it’s damn toll.

***
I hadn’t left the house in days. There was always the chance I’d run into one of the brothers. I didn’t want to run into the wrong one, whoever that might be.

It was Mikey, because I knew he felt something and that, even after Gerard, he couldn’t act on it because it would hurt me too much to be around Gerard again.

It was Gerard, because he was still angry with me and would do all the things he so often did; perhaps worse, or perhaps he would just ignore me even more.

It was either of them, as contact with one would piss the other off.

But I had no solace. Rebekah had visited, bringing me my homework as my mom decided I was too ‘sick’ to go to school. Mom came with food for me and Rebekah, but I never ate it.

As the weeks grew on, I grew thinner, paler, more withdrawn.

Until one day, Gerard came to see me. He was being so nice and I thought he’d turned a corner, and that he’d start treating me right. He kissed me tenderly, stopped forcing me into things, actually gave me a chance to tell him I wasn’t ready. And even though I still hadn’t said my piece about the whole stealing my virginity thing, I felt better.

For a little while, anyway.
***