These Words Are My Heart and Soul

I awoke, sweating and crying as usual. It was usually this that scared off the punters, leaving me cold and alone as they dressed hurriedly and ran. But not this guy. He was always there to comfort me.

Like then. He wrapped an arm round me and pulled me close, whispering sweet nothings in my ear to try and calm me down. I buried my head in his chest and sobbed, the little whisperings only upsetting me more. I’d convinced myself that everything he said was a lie, whether it was or not.

I calmed down, eventually.

Those hazel eyes bore into mine, pleading me to let him in and let him help. I squeezed mine tightly shut, mentally saying no and to just leave me alone. I didn’t want to bring him into the shit I called a life, where I had to fake a smile and a laugh everyday. Where I had to lie to everyone and to myself, pretend I’m alright while deep inside I’m bleeding, crying… dying…

***
He rolled off of me, breathing heavily and half grinning to himself. And I just lay there, almost shaking because I was that fucking terrified. I held the blanket as close to my chin as I could, while he just let his lie wherever it was.

Then he tried tugging it off of me. When he moved on top of me again, I nearly shrieked, but he just randomly kissed my neck, still breathing heavy.

“I fucking love you,” he whispered.

I blinked and looked away, trying to hold back my tears.

“Uh huh…”
***