On Sleepless Roads, the Sleepless Go
One
“Goddamn it, Max! You can’t keep doing this!” I shouted angrily into my phone. A scalding hot, vanilla latte was held in my left hand, while my right hand was occupied by my phone.
The breeze in Chicago was cool, but held a bite to it as autumn was starting to completely settle in, and soon pave way for a bitter winter. The street was crowded with shoppers entering and exiting shops, restaurants and cafés that lined both sides of the street. It was around ten in the morning, way too early to deal with Max.
“I know it’s last minute, but there’s nothing I can do about it, Julie,” Max’s tone held stress.
“This is more like a second in advance than a minute! Sasha’s going to be crushed…again. You always do this. It isn’t fair to him, Max,”
“I can’t help it if the company needs me to travel,”
“You’re right, but you’re still putting that ahead of your time with your son. He looks up to you and all you’ve done lately is put him on the back burner. It isn’t right,” I pleaded with my ex-husband. He sighed heavily into the speaker.
“I’m sure he would be happy to spend the weekend with Malory,” The mistress and also the reason I filed for divorce against my prick of an ex. Was he seriously suggesting that I leave my child in the hands of that tramp and hope everything goes well? God knows she can’t fend for herself, much less, a child. Granted, he is very independent and can do just about anything for himself, I still wasn’t feeding my son to that damn Siren.
“You know, I’m almost positive he wouldn’t,” I started, “Actually, he hates her just about as much as I do. I can’t believe you would even consider it! What I‘m pissed off most at, is the fact that you only see him once a month and even then you find something else to occupy your time with,” People in passing gave me funny looks, but I paid them no mind.
“I’m trying to make an effort here,”
“No you’re not! You-” I turned a corner on the sidewalk and collided with someone. This resulted in the -hot- coffee splattering across my shirt and skirt, burning the skin that was beneath them. I dropped the cup, my phone and my bag on the sidewalk as my instincts told me to pull the shirt away from my stomach. Max’s voice could be heard, yelling through the phone as I muttered profanities in German. I’m not German; However, I had the opportunity to spend six months in Berlin to study abroad when I went to culinary school to become a pastry chef. I had also taken the language all through high school and college, so it just stuck with me. I grabbed the wailing phone from the sidewalk and put it to my ear.
“Julie? Julie?! You there? What happened? Are you alright?! Hello?”
“I’ll call you back, Max,” I hung up on him without a single good-bye on my part. I shoved the now sticky device into my bag and looked up at the person who ran into me. The man towered over me.
“Excuse you,” I furrowed my eyebrows and stared up at the man in confusion.
“Excuse me?” I pointed to myself, “You’re the one who spilled my latte all over me!” I pointed to my soaked shirt and skirt. He gave me an incredulous look and I was quick to give it back to him.
“You should watch where you’re going,” He huffed.
“Whoa, Tazer,” It was right then that I realized that someone was with him. The blue eyed, curly blonde haired boy looked at me. “He’s sorry,”
“No I’m not,” I raised an eyebrow.
“He really is,” The blonde haired boy have the taller brunette a shove.
“No, I’m really not. Not only did she get her own coffee all over herself, but she got it on me too. Now I smell like a coffee grinder,” He glared his dark eyes at me.
“You know what? I don‘t really care. I have places to be, now if you‘ll excuse me,” I huffed. I took a deep breath and picked up the -empty- cup off of the ground. I couldn’t go around littering, could I? Absolutely not. I gingerly held my sticky bag in my hand and took off in the direction I was originally going in, all the while shaking my head in disbelief. I could feel my phone vibrating through my bag. It was most likely Max, so I didn’t feel all too terrible for ignoring it. I couldn’t help but feel frustrated. Nothing was going the way it should have today.
“Damn it, Tazer. She was hot,” I heard the other man speak.
“Whatever,”
I walked through the door of Night Owl Bakery. The bell above the door rang, signaling my arrival and Marin looked at me from behind the counter. Her eyebrows screwed together as she stared at my stained outfit.
“What happened to you?”
“I got plowed into by some asshole,” She snorted. “You know what I mean, you goon,” I scolded her and smacked her shoulder. “Where’s the new girl?” She pointed to the back.
“She’s taking a look around, getting herself familiar with the kitchen,” I nodded and walked behind the counter. I shoved my ruined bag under the counter and shut the cabinet. “You smell like used coffee grounds,”
“Thanks,” I replied sarcastically. She sniggered and put a few cupcakes in a custom box for a customer that was waiting at the register.
+
Marin and I were out front, interacting with the customers. There were people who came in certain days of the week at a precise time that we had gotten to know over the past year or so.
“Mommy!” The bell above the door rang and Sasha’s voice squeaked through the shop. It was around five when he came running through the door with my part-time babysitter, Karen. During the days that I worked, which were about five days a week, Sasha was sent to kindergarten from eight in the morning to two in the afternoon. From there, Karen would pick him up and watch him until five, then bring him over to Night Owl. It was a process, but it worked.
“Hey, Bud!” I said just as enthusiastically back to him. He ran his little five year old legs over to me and jumped into my arms. He hugged me tightly around my neck as I held him to me. He kissed my cheek and squealed with excitement. He wiggled down from my arms and walked back around to the front of the counter. Marin was helping a customer at the counter and Sasha got in line behind the man. I raised my eyebrow and wondered what he was doing.
“I’m gonna head out, Julie. Bye Sasha,” She waved as she exited the shop. I acknowledged her departure with a wave and turned my attention back to my son.
Marin bid the man at the counter good-bye and as he turned around, he spotted Sasha waiting patiently with his hands held behind his back. He gave a smile down to my son and took his exit.
“Hi Marin!” Sasha waved up to the young woman.
“Hey Sash,” She leaned her elbows on the counter and looked down at him.
“Can I have a S’more cupcake, please?” He gave her his million dollar smile that he inherited from his father and batted his long eyelashes that he got from me. Marin turned her head to look at me and pointed to him with her thumb. I shrugged. “Pretty please?” He begged, giving her his puppy pout.
“Of course, little man,” She chuckled and got the treat out of the case and put it in a little box for him. “That’s $3.25, stud,” She held out her hand. His eyes widened and he looked at me. I slapped her shoulder.
“Marin!” She put her shoulders up in defense while she laughed.
“Okay, okay,” She handed him the individual box and gave him a wink. His cheeks tinged pink and he scurried over to me. He leaned his face into my leg to hide himself from his own embarrassment. It was no secret that my son was in puppy love with Marin.
“Aw, Sasha,” She cooed to make him that much more embarrassed.
“Hey, hands off, you Cougar,” I accused and pointed at her with one hand, while the other played with Sasha’s hair as he still hid his face. “And you can’t have that ‘til after dinner, little man,” He groaned into my leg.
+
“Can I see daddy tomorrow?” Sasha asked from his place on his seat at the dinner table. I was stirring my homemade macaroni and cheese sauce for our Friday night lobster mac’n cheese. I could feel my heart break with my son’s disappointment when I would tell him that his father had to work. I turned the stove off and set the pot on the backburner. I turned around and walked over to the table.
“Daddy has to work this weekend, bub,” I said with a sad, regrettable smile on my face. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at me.
“But daddy told me I could,” His voice was small with disappointment.
“I know, hun, but daddy has to take a trip. Maybe next weekend,” I said hopefully to brighten his mood. “Now, who wants mac’n cheese?” His smile returned to his face and his eyes squinted. His smile meant everything to me.
I had been young when I had Sasha, twenty-two years old, but he was the center of my universe. Max and I had a very fast relationship. We met in Chicago the summer that I graduated from college. He was from Chicago, while I was from Boston, Massachusetts and we hit it off instantly. I was three years his junior and was spending that summer in Chicago to see if I had wanted to open a bakery out there. Max and I had an instant relationship. Though we both had different goals in life, we both wanted to eventually get married and start a family. We knew we were right for each other after many dates and late nights in. We just clicked. A year later, we got married. A month after we our honeymoon, I found out I was pregnant with Sasha. Max was with me through my entire pregnancy and couldn’t have been more excited when he found out that he was going to have a son. Everything happened so fast, but we couldn’t have been happier.
Max and Sasha had been exceptionally close to one another. It was hard to separate them when Max had a day off. From sunrise to bedtime, those two would be attached at the hip, so when I filed for divorce against Max, Sasha was crushed. He saw his father less and less and now it’s gotten to the point of his visits became a rarity. It seemed like the more Max pushed Sasha off, the more disappointed he got. The last thing I wanted was for Sasha to grow up resenting his father. He may have been an asshole to me, but he was still my son’s father and nothing would change that.
I served our plates and set the on the table, along with Sasha’s sippy-cup that was filled with cranberry grape juice. He immediately dug into his scrumptious, cheesy dinner . I chuckled as I sat down at my spot next to him.
The breeze in Chicago was cool, but held a bite to it as autumn was starting to completely settle in, and soon pave way for a bitter winter. The street was crowded with shoppers entering and exiting shops, restaurants and cafés that lined both sides of the street. It was around ten in the morning, way too early to deal with Max.
“I know it’s last minute, but there’s nothing I can do about it, Julie,” Max’s tone held stress.
“This is more like a second in advance than a minute! Sasha’s going to be crushed…again. You always do this. It isn’t fair to him, Max,”
“I can’t help it if the company needs me to travel,”
“You’re right, but you’re still putting that ahead of your time with your son. He looks up to you and all you’ve done lately is put him on the back burner. It isn’t right,” I pleaded with my ex-husband. He sighed heavily into the speaker.
“I’m sure he would be happy to spend the weekend with Malory,” The mistress and also the reason I filed for divorce against my prick of an ex. Was he seriously suggesting that I leave my child in the hands of that tramp and hope everything goes well? God knows she can’t fend for herself, much less, a child. Granted, he is very independent and can do just about anything for himself, I still wasn’t feeding my son to that damn Siren.
“You know, I’m almost positive he wouldn’t,” I started, “Actually, he hates her just about as much as I do. I can’t believe you would even consider it! What I‘m pissed off most at, is the fact that you only see him once a month and even then you find something else to occupy your time with,” People in passing gave me funny looks, but I paid them no mind.
“I’m trying to make an effort here,”
“No you’re not! You-” I turned a corner on the sidewalk and collided with someone. This resulted in the -hot- coffee splattering across my shirt and skirt, burning the skin that was beneath them. I dropped the cup, my phone and my bag on the sidewalk as my instincts told me to pull the shirt away from my stomach. Max’s voice could be heard, yelling through the phone as I muttered profanities in German. I’m not German; However, I had the opportunity to spend six months in Berlin to study abroad when I went to culinary school to become a pastry chef. I had also taken the language all through high school and college, so it just stuck with me. I grabbed the wailing phone from the sidewalk and put it to my ear.
“Julie? Julie?! You there? What happened? Are you alright?! Hello?”
“I’ll call you back, Max,” I hung up on him without a single good-bye on my part. I shoved the now sticky device into my bag and looked up at the person who ran into me. The man towered over me.
“Excuse you,” I furrowed my eyebrows and stared up at the man in confusion.
“Excuse me?” I pointed to myself, “You’re the one who spilled my latte all over me!” I pointed to my soaked shirt and skirt. He gave me an incredulous look and I was quick to give it back to him.
“You should watch where you’re going,” He huffed.
“Whoa, Tazer,” It was right then that I realized that someone was with him. The blue eyed, curly blonde haired boy looked at me. “He’s sorry,”
“No I’m not,” I raised an eyebrow.
“He really is,” The blonde haired boy have the taller brunette a shove.
“No, I’m really not. Not only did she get her own coffee all over herself, but she got it on me too. Now I smell like a coffee grinder,” He glared his dark eyes at me.
“You know what? I don‘t really care. I have places to be, now if you‘ll excuse me,” I huffed. I took a deep breath and picked up the -empty- cup off of the ground. I couldn’t go around littering, could I? Absolutely not. I gingerly held my sticky bag in my hand and took off in the direction I was originally going in, all the while shaking my head in disbelief. I could feel my phone vibrating through my bag. It was most likely Max, so I didn’t feel all too terrible for ignoring it. I couldn’t help but feel frustrated. Nothing was going the way it should have today.
“Damn it, Tazer. She was hot,” I heard the other man speak.
“Whatever,”
I walked through the door of Night Owl Bakery. The bell above the door rang, signaling my arrival and Marin looked at me from behind the counter. Her eyebrows screwed together as she stared at my stained outfit.
“What happened to you?”
“I got plowed into by some asshole,” She snorted. “You know what I mean, you goon,” I scolded her and smacked her shoulder. “Where’s the new girl?” She pointed to the back.
“She’s taking a look around, getting herself familiar with the kitchen,” I nodded and walked behind the counter. I shoved my ruined bag under the counter and shut the cabinet. “You smell like used coffee grounds,”
“Thanks,” I replied sarcastically. She sniggered and put a few cupcakes in a custom box for a customer that was waiting at the register.
+
Marin and I were out front, interacting with the customers. There were people who came in certain days of the week at a precise time that we had gotten to know over the past year or so.
“Mommy!” The bell above the door rang and Sasha’s voice squeaked through the shop. It was around five when he came running through the door with my part-time babysitter, Karen. During the days that I worked, which were about five days a week, Sasha was sent to kindergarten from eight in the morning to two in the afternoon. From there, Karen would pick him up and watch him until five, then bring him over to Night Owl. It was a process, but it worked.
“Hey, Bud!” I said just as enthusiastically back to him. He ran his little five year old legs over to me and jumped into my arms. He hugged me tightly around my neck as I held him to me. He kissed my cheek and squealed with excitement. He wiggled down from my arms and walked back around to the front of the counter. Marin was helping a customer at the counter and Sasha got in line behind the man. I raised my eyebrow and wondered what he was doing.
“I’m gonna head out, Julie. Bye Sasha,” She waved as she exited the shop. I acknowledged her departure with a wave and turned my attention back to my son.
Marin bid the man at the counter good-bye and as he turned around, he spotted Sasha waiting patiently with his hands held behind his back. He gave a smile down to my son and took his exit.
“Hi Marin!” Sasha waved up to the young woman.
“Hey Sash,” She leaned her elbows on the counter and looked down at him.
“Can I have a S’more cupcake, please?” He gave her his million dollar smile that he inherited from his father and batted his long eyelashes that he got from me. Marin turned her head to look at me and pointed to him with her thumb. I shrugged. “Pretty please?” He begged, giving her his puppy pout.
“Of course, little man,” She chuckled and got the treat out of the case and put it in a little box for him. “That’s $3.25, stud,” She held out her hand. His eyes widened and he looked at me. I slapped her shoulder.
“Marin!” She put her shoulders up in defense while she laughed.
“Okay, okay,” She handed him the individual box and gave him a wink. His cheeks tinged pink and he scurried over to me. He leaned his face into my leg to hide himself from his own embarrassment. It was no secret that my son was in puppy love with Marin.
“Aw, Sasha,” She cooed to make him that much more embarrassed.
“Hey, hands off, you Cougar,” I accused and pointed at her with one hand, while the other played with Sasha’s hair as he still hid his face. “And you can’t have that ‘til after dinner, little man,” He groaned into my leg.
+
“Can I see daddy tomorrow?” Sasha asked from his place on his seat at the dinner table. I was stirring my homemade macaroni and cheese sauce for our Friday night lobster mac’n cheese. I could feel my heart break with my son’s disappointment when I would tell him that his father had to work. I turned the stove off and set the pot on the backburner. I turned around and walked over to the table.
“Daddy has to work this weekend, bub,” I said with a sad, regrettable smile on my face. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at me.
“But daddy told me I could,” His voice was small with disappointment.
“I know, hun, but daddy has to take a trip. Maybe next weekend,” I said hopefully to brighten his mood. “Now, who wants mac’n cheese?” His smile returned to his face and his eyes squinted. His smile meant everything to me.
I had been young when I had Sasha, twenty-two years old, but he was the center of my universe. Max and I had a very fast relationship. We met in Chicago the summer that I graduated from college. He was from Chicago, while I was from Boston, Massachusetts and we hit it off instantly. I was three years his junior and was spending that summer in Chicago to see if I had wanted to open a bakery out there. Max and I had an instant relationship. Though we both had different goals in life, we both wanted to eventually get married and start a family. We knew we were right for each other after many dates and late nights in. We just clicked. A year later, we got married. A month after we our honeymoon, I found out I was pregnant with Sasha. Max was with me through my entire pregnancy and couldn’t have been more excited when he found out that he was going to have a son. Everything happened so fast, but we couldn’t have been happier.
Max and Sasha had been exceptionally close to one another. It was hard to separate them when Max had a day off. From sunrise to bedtime, those two would be attached at the hip, so when I filed for divorce against Max, Sasha was crushed. He saw his father less and less and now it’s gotten to the point of his visits became a rarity. It seemed like the more Max pushed Sasha off, the more disappointed he got. The last thing I wanted was for Sasha to grow up resenting his father. He may have been an asshole to me, but he was still my son’s father and nothing would change that.
I served our plates and set the on the table, along with Sasha’s sippy-cup that was filled with cranberry grape juice. He immediately dug into his scrumptious, cheesy dinner . I chuckled as I sat down at my spot next to him.