Quad Love

He's just staring at me, looking me over."Don't you love me...." I whisper bouncing scar on my lap ben asleep between us,"i do but i just..." I sigh "no i get it protecting them was number one at the time, you almost died but yeah don't call me and say hey tori i love you and the kids.... I should have guessed your like all the other men who my family has loved..." I feel the tears building but i don't dare let them out,"i won't come back because i know you don't want to see me or the kids again. Maybe i'll become my mom and do some horrible things,"I pick ben up and walk to the door;i stop just in the door way. "Goodbye ryan ross, fuck i loved you..." With a kid in each my arms i walk out not looking back,i can't it's just too much.

When i get home and the kids are in bed i finally let myself cry, i cry until there's a knock at my door.I get up and wiping my tears i get the door, jade's standing there cheeks red,eyes a deeper shade."Yo-you've been cr-crying too?" She falls into me sobbing into my shoulder as she explains everything, i sit her down and i'm shocked at everything."Why the hell would he do that to you? Your rents don't talk to me why would i tell anyone?Let alone call you guys made sure to push me away so why would i do anything to ruin your happiness?"

She stops "tor..." "Don't i don't wanna hear it, i love you no matter what." The crying interrupts, i sigh and get up and pick up ben. Bringing him into the living room i hand him to her, "he's so cute..." "Thanks, jade if something happens to me can you make sure the twins are taken care of? like my brother and his wife will adopt them." "Tori what's going on?" I bite my lip taking ben back, "nothing... It's all fine but as of recently i know where peoples priorities are," she bites her lip."I'm sorry," "jade don't be it's fine just go home and hug your mom okay?"

When she leaves and i've put ben in his crib there's another knock at the door, "who the hell is it now?"I get up and open the door i was not expecting the two people on my door step."Sp-spencer? Billie? what..." Billie looks to his feet "i messed up everything," "your damn right and it's not just jade's fucking life you hurt everyone!" I want to hit him but spencer places a hand on my shoulder,calming enough. "Tori he acknowledges that.... Please?" "Your right spencer but he still hurt jade..." "Yeah and he's in rehab but he wanted to apologize first.." "Thanks but it's jade you need to apologize to,"he nods and disappears into the newly present fog.

"Your not okay though..." I turn and he follows me inside, " he does love you tori..." "Then why didn't he call!" My calm facade fades "why couldn't he call his kids?? He held them once,and he's only seen them twice in their lives!" He sits me on the couch "tori he was just worried about you guys, he didn't want trouble going to the people he cares about. His parents were just like yours...."