Fletus Lupus (Crying Wolf).

It had been nearly four years since last I spoke to her. It was close to the end of June now –and I was a wolf.
We didn’t normally keep our human minds when we were wolves –we didn’t have our memories of being human or the same instincts (But we get them back when we shift, thankfully)- but I, for some reason, was an exception. I still had human thoughts and memories even when I was a wolf. Like now.
I knew where she lived – a regular house about 50km from Cato’s, next to the forest. I hadn’t been closer than 2km, though –I wasn’t daring enough. Yet.
I also knew she liked us –some of the other wolves, like Claire and Dean, showed me images (Because when we’re wolves, we can’t talk to each other, and we can send images telepathically instead. Weird, I know, but you learn to live with it) of Angela feeding them and sitting on her porch to watch them.
I’d lost track of where the pack had gone (Even though I could find them if I wanted to) and was more filled with thoughts and lyrics about her than I have been in a while. I sniffed the air, scanning the landscape –no other wolves within 45km, and her house was only eight away. I sat on the ground, staring at the bracken on the floor of the woods.
Should I go there? Was it a good idea? Was it safe, above all things? I went through every one of these questions in my abnormally human mind, and came up with an answer –yes, I’m going to see her.
As I started walking over there, my paws barely even making a noise in the frozen bracken, I wondered if she’d remember my eyes –the only physical detail that stayed the same.

I was surprised when I came closer to her house and smelled her out her porch –I could also smell a new book (I was accustomed to that smell, working in a bookstore and all) and thought that she must be reading, or had a book with her.
I stood silently at the edge of her yard, hidden in amongst the bushes and trees. I could see her from here, and was again intoxicated by how she looked.
She was wearing jeans and worn white runners, with a zipped up black leather jacket, with a black hoodie underneath. She was simply sitting there, her bare hands on her lap, looking out into the woods, simply staring. I watcher her with interest for a few minutes, and when she didn’t move, I decided to take a huge leap into the unknown.
I took a step forward, then another, walking out far enough that my head was barely visible in the underbrush. She still didn’t move. I took a few more steps, watching her the whole time. I was visible up to my forelegs now. I took one more step, and she flinched, turning her head to where she heard the sound.
And looked straight into my eyes.
I stared at her deep green eyes as she stared at my brown-gold ones, both of us just watching each other with wonderment.
Then she stood up. She walked down the steps at the back of the porch, then turned and started walking slowly over to me. When she was about ten meters away, she stopped. The she crouched, the frozen grass under her feet crackling with the movement. She put her hands on her knees as she kept watching me.
I took another step forward, and her eyes widened. Her face went from blank to almost happy, and she put her right hand out, palm up, beckoning me.
I couldn’t resist. I slowly trotted over to her, leaving paw-prints in the icy grass of her back yard.
She smiled as I came closer, stretching her arm out further. I was eventually close enough that I was a few centimeters from her outstretched hand. I stopped, rethinking this. I guess it wouldn’t be too bad, I thought.
I took another step, and then sat, wrapping my tail around my legs. She cocked her head to the side, indicating a question, and I did the same, mimicking her. She smiled even broader, and that made me smile –mentally, of course (It’s hard for a dog to smile, you know?).
She shuffled forwards a little, turning her palm so that it was facing towards me. She reached over, putting her hand just above my snout. I thought for a moment, and let some of my instincts kick in.
I reached my nose forward a little, raising my head, and nuzzled her hand. She surprised me by letting out a little giggle –it was the most amazing sound.
I let her play with me for a while, her playing her fingers through my fur and me nuzzling her. After a while, her smile became sad, and I cocked my head, wondering why.
She sighed. “You seem really familiar. Who are you?” She whispered to me. I whined –I wished I could tell her.
I’d never tried sending images to a human before, but this was worth a shot. I stared straight at her, her dark green eyes. I thought of myself, standing in the bookstore four years ago, when I saw her for the first time.
I waited to see her reaction. None. I lowered my gaze, staring at the floor, and whined. She stopped patting me, moving a single hand up to rest on my muzzle.
“Don’t be sad. I’ll figure it out. Someday…” She said quietly. I look up at her, and she looks down at me, human and wolf, two worlds that can never coexist. She stares deep into my brown eyes, and I stare deep into her green ones.
We sit like this for some time, and I could feel her hands getting cold on my muzzle from the cool air. Eventually they got cold enough I had to take a step back to urge her inside before she caught something. She held her and out in the air where I’d just been, a sad look on her face.
I licked her fingers, trying to show what I mean. I felt her arm tremble –maybe she figured it out.
She sighed, and stood up, brushing the dirt and ice from the hem of her jeans. She looked at me, then frowned, narrowing her eyes. She bent over, staring me straight in the eyes. I instinctively pulled my head back, but didn’t do anything else, staying still. She put a hand on my head, and I couldn’t help flinching. She stared some more, before she spoke.
“You remind me of that guy from the bookstore. I don’t know what his name was, and I haven’t seen him in years, but you remind me of him…” She said quietly. I was shocked –I didn’t expect her to figure it out. I stared at her, still slightly shocked, when she smiled –and that shocked me even more.
“You should come back. Please? Soon?” She asked me timidly. I thought, then barked once, nuzzling her leg. She giggled again, rubbing my head before she turned and started walking.
I sat in her yard and watched her go. She walked up the stairs, then stopped and turned at the door, picking up her book. She smiled at me.
“Thank you,” She said, smiled again, then walked inside.

Of course, I came back the next day.
In the morning I went out hunting, getting food for myself, then detached myself from the pack again, heading for her house. I knew Claire was starting to get suspicious, but I didn’t mind –I wasn’t really fond of her anyway.
I thought back to try and figure out what day it was. I counted the days I’d been a wolf as I made my way to her house.
By the time I came within sight of the house, I’d figured out it was the 27th of June. I’d been a wolf since the 18th of April –that was a long time. I’d never counted before, but it was a really long time. Especially considering it never used to be that long. But let’s not dwell on that.
I smelt her on the porch again, and this time she didn’t have a book, I didn’t think –I could hear scraping noises, and thought maybe she was cleaning something.
I walked over to the edge of her yard, and saw her. She was wearing similar clothes to yesterday, but this time she was wearing black leather gloves. She was scraping the ice from the steps with a shovel, which I’d never seen anybody do before. I stood there watching her for a time.
I whined, and she stopped. She spun around, her loose hair flicking around her face. She saw me, and smiled, leaning the shovel against the banister on the steps and walking towards me, slowly so as not to startle me (I still had some wolf instincts, so that was a good thing).
She held her hand out, and I nuzzled it, like yesterday. She smiled, then sighed.
“I wish you could talk. Your eyes… They look so human.” It must have felt weird, somebody about seventeen-eighteen talking to dog, but she did it anyway. I liked how she could be so open with me. I knew it was because she thought I didn’t have a mind like hers, and I was just a wolf, but I liked to think it was my actually self.
She ruffled my fur, then stood up, brushing herself down then heading back over to the steps.
She picked up the shovel, looked back at me, smiled, then continued scraping the ice off. I stood at the edge of her yard, in the open, watching her. I heard a bark –Dane, one of the older males. My instincts made me bark a response, startling Angela. She looked at me, then out at the woods, then back to me.
“You can go if you want. Don’t let me hold you back.” She smiled, though I could tell she would be sad if I left. I stood, then hesitated. Dane barked again, and then Ben barked as well. I whined, looked at her one last time, then bolted into the woods, following the calls.

I didn’t make contact with her after that, but I stayed watching her at the edge of her yard, hidden in the trees, for the rest of the winter. Everyday. Sometimes other pack members came and waited with me for a while, then left to go do decent things.
I’m pretty sure she was aware of my presence –she occasionally made eye-contact with me, and was outside often, even when it snowed.
It was nearing mid-November now, and I’d hopefully be changing back soon, before Christmas. It was already getting a lot warmer, and spring was nearly over, so everything was fresh and green and reeked –the smell of flowers burnt my nose like acid –not that I knew what acid felt like.
I wondered if I’d see her again this summer, and get to talk to her.
After all, this next shift would be my last.