Falling For

It was odd, wandering around the halls of Hogwarts without George constantly behind me. I was slightly blue in the face from not breathing, worried out of my mind because I hadn’t heard anything about anything and it was starting to pull at my insides like a vicious vice that wouldn’t loosen its grip. Ending up home for the holidays, I was left to believe that he had disappeared off of the face of the planet - along with his three siblings that usually roamed the halls of the great school.

Sitting at my kitchen table on Christmas Eve, I was still alone. Mother was in the sitting room, writing another novel as she dictated almost taboo words to the quick-quotes quill that she had recently purchased. I, however, was onto my sixth box of chocolate frogs. Cards of all the wizarding greats lay abandoned around me, still staring up at me as if curious as to why I was lonely on such a night.

It was almost melancholy, my position that is. All I could do was sit and think while my glazed eyes lazily stared the window that was slowly growing covered by the soft snow. I had always liked the snow, but not enough to live for it. I suppose you could say it was cold like I used to be, but once the brighter sun shone all I could do was melt.

I sighed; bitterly biting the head off the squirming frog and chewing like a cave man, feeling absolutely down on myself about everything. And that’s how it was for a while, until a loud CRACK echoed through the house. I heard mother shriek, and I, in turn, pitched the frog over my shoulder and jumped out of my chair.

“Merlin on a bike! Mignon! Your boyfriend’s in the doorway!”

“Sorry Mrs. Fidere, I should have sent an owl to let you know I was coming.” The voice was wary, travelling into the sitting room where my mother so uncomfortably sat. I peered out of the kitchen, eyes widening at the sight of the tall man I admired who stood awkwardly over my mother. He handed her a small gift and her face softened.

“Thank you, George.” She patted his hand and he looked over at me, his solemn face softening as our eyes met. He walked towards the kitchen, reaching me and wrapping his long arms around my thickening body as I clutched his shirt so tightly that he could never leave.

“Where have you been?” I whispered into his jacket as his lips graced my hair.

“Can we talk in your room?” He asked quietly, and I nodded, apparating us to my tiny bedroom. He pushed away, fingers still digging into my biceps as he leant down to kiss my lips. I froze for a second, taking in his pale demeanor and his unwashed hair; something not of the norm for the usually well kept twins.

“What’s wrong?” I mumbled against his lips and he gingerly leant back, letting go of me. He stepped backwards and sat on my bed and I warily sat down beside him. He took my hands.

“My father was attacked by You-Know-Who’s snake at the Ministry.” He told me quickly, looking around. “We’re in lock-down at the house and I had to sneak out to see you. I’m sorry for not owling you, we’re not allowed to talk to anyone who isn’t in the Order. Since you’re not a live-in member, I haven’t been able to contact you without the permission of Mad-Eye, who is a little bit paranoid lately, so no one has been able to go anywhere.”

His words came out in a jumble and I could barely comprehend anything.

“Besides, Dad’s really sick right now and we haven’t been feeling up to guests.”

“I’m sorry.” I looked at him. “It’s okay, I understand. I’ve missed you, though.”

“They struck really close to home this time, Min.” Completely ignoring my previous line. “Not literally, but it’s my dad, Min. I mean, when He got Ginny a few years back we were all terrified. Who knows who He could get next? What if He gets Ron, or even Fred? I can’t deal with death, Min.”

“No one can.” I squinted at him. “But you knew what you were getting into when you joined the Order, George.”

“You don’t understand what I’m saying.” He breathed. “I can’t deal with death, Min. I don’t want to have to get over you like that.”

“I wont be dying any time soon.” I snorted at him, though a little bit worried as to where the conversation was heading.

“I watched you go through Cedric’s death and I couldn’t do anything about it.” He started again, letting go of my wet hands that were nearly shaking. “If I die, what are you going to do?”

I sat in silence, looking at him in horror while he stared me down with his brown eyes. I began to sniffle and turn away, not wanting to face the idea of any more death in my circle of friends.

“I think that maybe we should take a break, Min, at least until this whole war is over.”

I nearly broke my neck to look at him, eyes wide and dulcet with tears brimming the already swollen edges.

“What?” I fought out.

“We can wait, just a little while.”

“Who knows when the war will be over?!” My voice was harsh. “It could be tomorrow, or even twenty years from now! I can’t wait that long, George, what if we die? What if we die and we never got to fix ourselves!”

“If you pull out of the Order and go back to your Hufflepuff friends, maybe They wont get you. If we ignore each other, we’ll forget who ‘we’ are.”

“You sound absolutely mental, you know that, right?”

“If somehow I end up dead, it will hurt less if we forget about each other.” He repeated, and I felt the anger swell in my stomach.

“Don’t be so selfish.” I snapped. “If I didn’t know what I was getting into, I wouldn’t have signed up. I’m not stupid, you prat, I want to be with you and I want to help.”

“I don’t want that to happen, Min. I love you too much for that.”

Quietly, I stared up at him wide, teary eyes before flinching away and hiding my face as the warm liquid slid down my cheeks.

“Please don’t do this to me.” I whispered and he leant down again, kissing me softly as I entwined my fingers into his hair. I pulled back. "It's Christmas Eve..." I begged, unable to keep myself from falling back into him. His tongue brushed mine and I tried to stop crying as I gripped harder, trying to keep him as close to me as I physically could.

“I have to go, Min.” He broke away, untangling my fingers from his longing hair. “We’ll see each other at school, you know?”

“George...” I watched him as he got up, curling myself into a little ball and staring at him from over my knees. "If you leave me now, you're just confirming the fact that you're a selfish prat." I sniffed at him, and I knew he wanted to laugh at my over-indulgence.

He managed to smile awkwardly before slipping on a dirty old shirt and falling backwards onto my bedroom rug. I was too upset to even find the humour in his accidental clumsiness as he apparated out of my room for what seemed to be forever, taking that old rug with him.