Falling For

The days seemed to leak into the next, and as each second crawled on I found it hard to keep everything silky smooth. Some times George seemed to be doing okay, but the other four days of our week, I found that he glided through without a single word to be said. Occasionally, I found him lying on Fred’s bed; staring up at the roof without a shred of emotion swelling in his eyes. Sometimes I thought it was Fred, passing the time George and I spent in the bedroom by dreaming up crueller ways to trick people – and it left me gasping for a first breath and hiding the tears in the sleeve of my sweater while he failed to notice my presence.

Bill and Fleur had long left us by now, back to their happy little house by the water that cleansed their dark minds with the lick of salt and sea. We were left to soak in the cloudy broth that they had left behind. Arthur and Ron would stop by often, both drooping with the same grief we all seemed to share. It was hard to escape Fred – to push him out of our minds.

He was still with us; in the mirror with George, in the whispers of heroes, and in every slither of humour that somehow found us. It would have been easier to move on, to breathe, if there wasn’t that constant aching reminder that he was gone. I was sure that George was going insane.

And as much as I begged and pleaded with the forces above, George could not recover. I did not want to force him, or even nudge him too hard, because I could not find the man I fell in love with in his brand new eyes. I wanted to hold him forever, to make sure he knew that it really was all going to be okay, but as every new day passed by I found my foot tapping with impatience. I felt so selfish, so burnt with shame that it was becoming to weigh on my thoughts. I wanted my George back – I needed his mouth, his eyes, and his soul to return to me, like it had always been. But he would not heal.

I grew to resent myself, and my inability to fix him. Deep down inside, I knew that it was not my fault – that he had his own ways to grieve, but there was only so much I could take. I was losing him, and it was shredding every ounce of my sanity. There was an ache that had started in my chest, crying for him to tell me that everything was going to be all right, that we had each other and that we would live every day in memory of his best friend... But I know he could not fathom the words. The ache had clawed its way into my head, and it was starting to bite down hard.

Of course, the happier times were what I was living for. The moments George could find his way out of bed and into my arms, asking about dinner and laughing about my socks, reminded me why I stuck it out. As much as I could have run, very far away, I still knew that I was nothing without him. The thought of being without him for more than a couple of hours upset me greatly, and the idea of getting on the Knight Bus to sail into the future made my eyes water.

“Maybe we should go visit my mother for a couple of days.” I mumbled to him one night, not wanting to disturb his train of thought. “Get some of that great green air into our lungs?”

He turned his neck to look down at me, tired eyes sweeping across my face for any sort of trap. George’s lips twitched into a small smile and he blinked in thought. “That sounds alright, love.” He breathed, turning his gaze back to the roof. “We can go visit Lee while we’re out and about.”

The idea warmed me. “Of course!” As much as it would be a solemn first few minutes, I was completely sure that Lee could brighten anyone’s day. Besides, it would help George to remember that he had more than one friend – something I was sure was slipping away from him. “Of course.”

My fingers snaked to his bicep, curling around his soft skin like cautious creeper vines – waiting for him to accept my currently foreign touch. His eyes shut slowly, chest falling under the weight of an emotional sigh. It must have taken all his strength to roll over and face me – shaky, scared hands finding my sides beneath the covers. “Min,” he started, his fingers now brushing my chin, “I’m sorry for all this.”

I thought about it for a moment, breaking eye contact to avoid any tears on my behalf. “Don’t be.” I met him again, reaching up to take his face into my hands. “I understand. I really do.”

“I don’t know if it will ever go away, Min.” He continued, eyes soon shining with a waxy fear. “I can’t escape it… I---“ He stopped, unable to find the words.

“You don’t have to escape it, George. He’s always going to be around us, no matter where we are. He’d want us to be happy.” I told him. “He’d tell us to stop being such sad sods and to get our bums to the pub instead.”

The redhead in front of me snorted and clenched his eyes shut, letting out a shallow hiss from between his teeth. I held him tighter, closer to my chest. “Why?” I heard him groan into my skin. “Why did it have to be him?”

It had been plaguing me ever since I counted all the stars in the sky that last night at Hogwarts. Why had it been Fred? It could have easily been anyone else – but it was Fred… There was no happiness left in our lives anymore, in fact, I think it had floored everyone. “I…” It could have easily been Harry… It could have easily been Noël… “I don’t know, George. I really don’t.”

“Its not fair.” He reminded me, feeling the press of his fingerprints bruise the gentle skin of my shoulders. “I miss him so much.”

“I know you do, sweetheart.” Trying my hardest to push his hair from his face, I bumped his face back to greet mine. “But it’s going to be okay. I promise.” Failing to make contact with my own eyes that were swelling with tears of sympathy, he hid himself in the crook of my neck. I drew circles on the back of his neck, wondering just how long it would be until he dried himself out for good.




After spending most of my energy coaxing him out of the house, I had managed to convince George that we needed someone else to cook for us. Although it was very discouraging, I understood why my partner found it hard to eat my meals. The kitchen table seemed far too big for just the two of us - and each mark in the hardwood just reminded him of how alone we really were.

It was the right weather for fish and chips anyway – the both of us rugged up awaiting the soft chills of winter. Fall was blowing through the muggle side of London, and we were on the hunt for something greasy wrapped up in that day’s newspaper. With his hands tucked into the pockets of his plain coat, my boyfriend’s breath was bursting from his mouth in huffs of cloudy air. “I was thinking of re-opening the store soon.” He told me, re-adjusting his beanie to make sure his bad ear was covered.

“Yeah?” I asked, delighted. “That would be great!” I nearly told him to start creating some more stock for the re-opening, but I held my tongue just in case. As much as I really wanted to, I knew that the jokes George created would be no where near as good as they would have been if Fred had put some ideas in as well. We both knew it.

“Yeah. Ron said he’d come in and give me a hand – so I offered him a full-time job, if he wanted it.”

“I’m sure that would help him out a lot actually, George.” I smiled up at him, and bathed luxuriously in the true smile he sent back down. “He’s gonna have to start planning his wedding soon, and the money’s going to have to come from somewhere.”

“There’s no way they’ll be getting married any time soon. Mione’s trying to get back to school.”

“That’s crazy.” I muttered and he grinned.

“I know, right? It’s almost sick.” Pulling his coat tighter around the middle, the redhead’s face soon blanked. “I kinda miss it.”

I thought about it for a few steps as we neared a small pub district, the lights illuminating our sad little figures. “So do I.”

“Not the learning part… Just the days where we would waste time and make fools of everyone.”

“So, every day then?” I grinned at him and he scoffed, finding the time to spread a small smile across his face.

“Yeah.” He held out an arm, tucking me into his chest as we approached a pop-up trailer that was vending portions of deep-fried something or others. Things always felt better when I was closer to him, especially if I could catch a hint of his lovely scent. “They were the best days.” The fresh air had seemed to awaken him.

“Weasley!” A voice called from behind us and we froze, my heart skipping a beat at the recognisable voice. George let go of me, turning around the find the origin of his name. Squinting into the distance, we found a single figure that had broken free of a tiny crowd heading towards us. “G-George?”

“Angelina?” The redhead squinted harder, finding the girl under the streetlight. His arms opened wide and the impact between the two of them was so hard that it made a noise. I had to step away, watching with shy eyes as their feet made circles – the hug as intense as it should have been for such a meeting. “How are you!” He seemed excited to see her. I couldn't really blame him for that.

She pulled her head back just enough to get a better look at him, positively beaming at their chance encounter. “I’ve been alright. Been trying out for the Harpies this week, so we’re winding down with a beer or two.” A light had switched on behind George’s eyes – one I hadn’t seen in a long, long time. It almost made me jealous, but I stopped myself because I had no right to be. It had been a while since they had seen each other – probably since Fred’s funeral. “How about you?” She finished quietly.

“Well enough.” He told her gently, wetting his lips awkwardly before he continued on. “Going to open the shop back up by the end of this month.”

“Excellent! It's going to be great, I know you can do it!” She pulled away, curling a stray hair behind her ear. “How’s Mignon?”

“I’m good.” I cut in, causing her to jump in surprise. Her eyes widened, obviously embarrassed at her inattentiveness. Angelina then turned towards me, enveloping me in a warm, although much shorter than her and George’s, hug. “Have you heard much from Katie?”

“She’s doing real well.” The girl bubbled, brightened by the both of us. “She’s got herself a boyfriend though, so she’s been busy.” She let me go, stepping back and wobbling a little. “And Alicia is in Scotland, looking after her great grandma. I get an owl from her every once in a while.” She continued on, unaware of my deepening frown. “You both look very good though – it’s been such a long time since we’ve seen each other. Not since---“

The whole thing clicked for the two of them and I watched as her face fell. I felt the hurt start to radiate from George, and I tried to force the chill from my fingers while I thought over a plan of action. I couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed at the whole situation – how come I couldn’t get those same feelings from my boyfriend, but she could bump into us out of no where and ignite something I couldn’t?

Of course it was silly for me to worry about – looking back, I should have been happy that George had somehow been awoken by her spark. But in my head, I felt like I had worked so hard for nothing. Months and months of trying to wake him from his hard times had failed, and I was nothing more than a background character while the two of them were together. I was nothing when they looked at each other that night, and it made me feel horrible.

Obviously a little drunk and filled with a little more than liquid courage, our old friend gave us both a strong smile. “Do you mind if I tag along with you two for the rest of the night? We really have a lot to catch up on!”

George’s eyes softened and he glanced down at me, his gaze already past the point of asking my permission. “Of course you can.”