Stuck in the Moment. Dead at the Scene.

It's finally September. Nick and I are going strong. Mom and Johnny got married two weeks ago. Zacky and Reese are dating. Ew.

Anyway, I was getting ready to go to my mom's house. She's having a big dinner for our family. I dressed as normal as possible, which meant blue jeans and a nice top. I put some shoes on, then grabbed my purse which had my phone and I-pod inside.

I met dad at the door and followed him outside. I was driving my car and he was driving his. It took us about ten minutes to get there.

Dad helped mom and Johnny set the table and bring out the food. I was sitting next to dad and across from Reese. Keegan and Dylan were sitting next to her. Dinner went smoothly with only a couple of icy glares shot towards Reese.

"Um, I need everyone in the living room," Mom said turning serious. I looked at Dad and then walked to the couch he was sitting on. I bit my lip and latched onto his arm. It's something I do when I'm scared or nervous. Dylan, Keegan, and Reese were sitting on the loveseat and Johnny was standing next to mom, holding her hand.

She took a deep breath, "This is hard to say.."

"Um, we moved here for different reasons. One of them being so I could be close to Hadleythe other reason resulted in me wanting to be close to her."

My stomach was turning. I knew something was wrong.

"About three months ago, I went to the doctor to have my yearly physical. I had a knot on my breast that had been there for awhile, but I guess I just got use to it being there. They checked it out and it came back as breast cancer. Imagine that, me having breast cancer? Are they crazy?" Mom took a slow breath, "I can do chemo, but it's not like it will help any..I'm in an advanced aggressive stage of it."

I was shocked. Then the thought hit me that I could lose my mom and I started bawling my eyes out. Dad pulled me into a tight hug. Mom walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"Why me? Why now? I've already lost my best friend. I can't lose my mom too," I wailed.

"Baby, we don't know how this is going to turn out," She said rubbing my back.

"But your chances aren't good, are they?"

"They said that the treatment, if I decided to get it, then it wouldn't add much onto my life.maybe a year or two and I would have a very small chance of losing Madison. I also just want to spend my time with my family."

I choked back a sob, "So you would rather have the baby, then try to save your life?"

"Hadley," Mom started.

"No, you're going to bring Madison into this world and she won't even have her mother. How selfish is that?"

I ran my fingers through my hair. I started crying again. Dad pulled me into his lap and started rocking me. I looked up at his face and he was crying too. Then I looked around the room and saw that everyone was crying.

"Mommy, I'm so sorry for everything I've ever put you through," I said hugging her.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry too. I've been such a bitch for awhile and I've taken a lot of stuff out on you. I love you baby girl."

"I love you too, mommy."

We all got into a big huddle and hugged. Dad and I stayed at the house that night. My head was on my mom's stomach and I could feel Madison kick every time. When she is born, I'm going to be the best big sister I can be because I don't know if my mom will be here. I can't stand to think that way, but I just think that's how it's going to be. No wonder I don't care about God anymore. He took away my best friend and now he's going to take away my mommy. She's the only mom I have and will ever have. She won't be here to see me go to college, or get married or have babies of my own. What am I suppose to do?