Bitter-Sweet Destiny
Witch
“We completely bombed that gig!” I exhale sharply, holding my burning throat and trying to mask the tears threatening to escape. I thought this was our big break…
“Oh, Leira…” Sky frowns, following me into the bathroom knowing I’m about to break down.
“That’s it! This is the end of our careers!” I sob relentlessly, falling into her embrace.
“No, this isn’t the end; I guarantee it.” She smiles sadly, her gentle hands stroking my hair. “I promise you’ll at least make it. I know this is your dream.” She beams.
“But the rest of you…!” I squeak, grimacing at the feeling.
“It doesn’t matter to us. You’re the amazing one Leira. We’re still amateurs and have shitload to learn. But you, you deserve more. We’re not ready for the spotlight, but you were born ready!” I frown, but somewhere in the back of my mind screams that she’s right.
“…I guess…”
“Let’s make deal, no matter what the costs you’ll have your moment in the big time. No more tears Leira. Now shake on it!” She demands holding out her hand. Hesitantly, I take it, looking into her black eyes nodding. “And you’ll have your little rockstar by the end of this tour.” She adds winking. I throw her a confused look. “Oh don’t tell me you didn’t notice him watching you?” She giggles. “He was practically fucking you with his eyes.” She teases. “He’s putty in your hands, or at least will be by the end of tour. If not, you’re a dead woman, making me go through all this trouble.” She grumbles. I only roll my eyes, our hands still connected.
‘I’m not concerned with relationships…’ I move to say, but the words won’t escape my lips. I only mouth them.
“What’s that?” Sky asks, cocking her head to the side. I mouth the words again, no sounds emanating from my throat. What’s wrong with me?! I’ve had sore throats after shows in the past, but this is something completely new. “Are you okay Leira?” Sky repeats. I only shake my head, eyes growing wide. I can’t speak.
XOXOXOX
“Leira, it appears you’ve been living with a malignant tumor in your throat for many years now, and unfortunately it’s destroyed your vocal folds.” The doctor drawls. I can’t believe my ears. Is there no way? Can’t you save my voice? I’m a singer for god’s sake!! I live for music!! I fight to control the tears in my eyes, looking desperately to him. “I’m sorry, but even if we operated, your voice would not return. However, we need to remove the tumor that that it cannot spread and harm other parts of your body.” He answers as if knowing my thoughts. So there’s no hope? You may as well let me die. He goes on explaining what is to be done: surgery, chemo, more chemo, and more surgery if necessary. I’m going to lose weight and all my hair… I’m not going to look the same, and after this, I’m not going to be the same. Singing was my life, it’s all I had going for me. Now I’ll never make it big. And the last memory of singing I’ll have is being booed by an audience of fans not even there for me. But if I don’t do this, I’ll die. What’s worse?
“I’ll need your consent Leira. You’re 18 right? Happy belated birthday!” He smiles noticing my information on his chart. I only nod. “You’re lucky we caught it in time, this should be a simple fix.” My mind travels, dancing one last time with my voice before letting it fly away. I’ll miss you…
Everything is set, and it’s only a matter of days until it’s all over. The hospital bed becomes my new home, my prison cell, my friend, my destroyer.
“I’m learning sign language in class right now!” Meghan, my youngest sister, beams sitting at the end of my bed. Her dark hair hides beneath a hat. “Look see,” She crosses her arms over her chest as if hugging herself, then points to me. “I Love you!” She smiles.
I roll my eyes. ‘Everyone knows that one.’ I mouth teasingly, grinning as she pouts. I make the gesture back to her and she immediately perks back up again. I wish I could be like that. She goes on, teaching me the alphabet which I give up on. It’s so much easier to write my every whim out on a piece of paper.
“Momma said you’ll be home soon.” She smiles, doodling cartoons with me. “I miss you being at home. You’re the fun sister.” She pouts.
I smile, stealing the crayon from her and writing on top of her paper, ‘I’ll be home soon, and you can skip a day of school to come shopping with me.’ She immediately perks up, going off on her eight-year old fantasy shopping spree land. I smile and nod in response. When you don’t have anything to say, it’s always the best thing to do.
XOXOXOX
KYO’S POV:
This seems to be the never ending tour…and I desperately need a break. Though, the only thoughts going through my mind have been that of that girl. I need to meet her. I want to know more about her. I want to know everything! Her voice still rings in my ears, and it seems to be the only thing I can remember. For the past couple of weeks, it’s been the only thing running through my head. I don’t remember what she looks like or her name, only her music; Her song. I’ve fallen for a total stranger.
“Kyo! Kyooooo!!!! KYO!!! We’re going out, wanna come?!!” Toshiya squawks into my ear, already drunk from the overpriced mini bar filled with cheap, tasteless alcohols in the fridge.
“No.” I sigh. The only thing I hate more than drinking is drinking with other people.
“Awe come on! You never go with us!!” Die whines.
“Because someone needs to be at the hotel to answer the phone when you do something stupid and need bailed out of prison.”
“Shinya can stay behind!” Toshiya pipes up, leaving the poor drummer to pout in the corner.
“I’m not going.” I sigh. They only shrug, making a beeline for the door.
“Suit yourself! I’m gonna get wasted and laid!” Toshiya sings, Kaoru following behind him. Die and Shinya follow close after waving goodbye and making sure their phones are on and fully charged. Finally, the door shuts and I am left in utter, glorious silence.
“And I’m not going to open the door.”
My judgment, as always, proves to be correct. I got a call about two hours after they left (which I’ll admit is a new record, they’re taking their time these days) from the hospital. Die, the dumbass, broke his arm during a fight.
“How the hell are we supposed to finish our tour?!!!” I scream into the receiver, Die groaning in pain on the other end.
“I don’t know, postpone it…I’m not all too worried about that right now!!!” He whines.
“You can’t postpone a world-wide, sold-out tour!!!” I growl. Die just continues howling in agony, and eventually the phone is handed over to Kaoru.
“We’ll figure the tour out, no worries; we have an amazing manager and stage crew for a reason. Right now we need to make sure Die heals and is still going to be able to use his hand Kyo…” Kaoru talks in a cool, soothing voice. The man should have been a therapist. I take an easy breath, calming and easing my worries.
“All right…well let me know how things go. I’ll get a hold of management…”
“Thank you Kyo. It’ll be fine.” Kaoru states. “We’ll be back late, so be sure to unlatch the door chain…and move the dresser away from it too.” He adds, a hint of sarcasm to his voice.
I can’t help smirking, “You know me too well.”
I eventually get hold of our manager, who wasn’t all too happy about being woken at 2:00 am to such lousy news. We were running low on ideas, all our best alternate guitarists being on their own tours or home sick. Cancelling the tour crossed our mind.
“Umm…how about we hold auditions for a temporary guitarist?” I offer.
“I guess that could work. I’ll think more about it tomorrow morning. We’ll have to cancel this week’s tours, or reschedule them…I’ll figure it out. I need some rest.” He sighs, obviously now stricken with a headache.
“I’ll kill Die for you.”
“Thank you Kyo.”
“Any time.”
With that, I went to bed and passed out, completely forgetting about the double locks and dresser I’d placed against the door. Needless to say, we weren’t happy campers the next day.
LEIRA’S POV:
Finally, I’m home from that dreadful place. Not that I want to be home either. It was driving me to the brink of insanity. My family surrounds me on the sofa, none saying a word but all giving me “the look.” It’s obvious they don’t know what to do. They can’t talk to me, and I can’t talk to them. I frown. I want to be away from all of this. I need time to myself. I need time to think. I need time to figure out who I am now… Letting out a long breath, I manage to escape from the clutches of my family to stow away in my room. I’ve been in long need of some music and computer time. Flipping open my lap top, I wait for the screen to load while shuffling through the songs on my iPod. Screw it; it’s much easier to let it choose for me. I guess the first thing I should check is my Facebook…which I dread. As I’d thought, I’m pummeled with notifications, messages, etc. Scrolling through them, and invite catches my eye.
Needed: Temporary Back-up Guitarist; Skilled
Where: Boar’s Head Venue
When: 11 am-11 pm
Tour Span: June-September
**Excellent pay, Cross-Country Touring, Availability NOW; further details at audition
What the hell, I know where the venue is. I play guitar. I need the cash. I’m feeling great. I miss music. Why not give it a try? What’s the worst that could happen?
“Oh, Leira…” Sky frowns, following me into the bathroom knowing I’m about to break down.
“That’s it! This is the end of our careers!” I sob relentlessly, falling into her embrace.
“No, this isn’t the end; I guarantee it.” She smiles sadly, her gentle hands stroking my hair. “I promise you’ll at least make it. I know this is your dream.” She beams.
“But the rest of you…!” I squeak, grimacing at the feeling.
“It doesn’t matter to us. You’re the amazing one Leira. We’re still amateurs and have shitload to learn. But you, you deserve more. We’re not ready for the spotlight, but you were born ready!” I frown, but somewhere in the back of my mind screams that she’s right.
“…I guess…”
“Let’s make deal, no matter what the costs you’ll have your moment in the big time. No more tears Leira. Now shake on it!” She demands holding out her hand. Hesitantly, I take it, looking into her black eyes nodding. “And you’ll have your little rockstar by the end of this tour.” She adds winking. I throw her a confused look. “Oh don’t tell me you didn’t notice him watching you?” She giggles. “He was practically fucking you with his eyes.” She teases. “He’s putty in your hands, or at least will be by the end of tour. If not, you’re a dead woman, making me go through all this trouble.” She grumbles. I only roll my eyes, our hands still connected.
‘I’m not concerned with relationships…’ I move to say, but the words won’t escape my lips. I only mouth them.
“What’s that?” Sky asks, cocking her head to the side. I mouth the words again, no sounds emanating from my throat. What’s wrong with me?! I’ve had sore throats after shows in the past, but this is something completely new. “Are you okay Leira?” Sky repeats. I only shake my head, eyes growing wide. I can’t speak.
XOXOXOX
“Leira, it appears you’ve been living with a malignant tumor in your throat for many years now, and unfortunately it’s destroyed your vocal folds.” The doctor drawls. I can’t believe my ears. Is there no way? Can’t you save my voice? I’m a singer for god’s sake!! I live for music!! I fight to control the tears in my eyes, looking desperately to him. “I’m sorry, but even if we operated, your voice would not return. However, we need to remove the tumor that that it cannot spread and harm other parts of your body.” He answers as if knowing my thoughts. So there’s no hope? You may as well let me die. He goes on explaining what is to be done: surgery, chemo, more chemo, and more surgery if necessary. I’m going to lose weight and all my hair… I’m not going to look the same, and after this, I’m not going to be the same. Singing was my life, it’s all I had going for me. Now I’ll never make it big. And the last memory of singing I’ll have is being booed by an audience of fans not even there for me. But if I don’t do this, I’ll die. What’s worse?
“I’ll need your consent Leira. You’re 18 right? Happy belated birthday!” He smiles noticing my information on his chart. I only nod. “You’re lucky we caught it in time, this should be a simple fix.” My mind travels, dancing one last time with my voice before letting it fly away. I’ll miss you…
Everything is set, and it’s only a matter of days until it’s all over. The hospital bed becomes my new home, my prison cell, my friend, my destroyer.
“I’m learning sign language in class right now!” Meghan, my youngest sister, beams sitting at the end of my bed. Her dark hair hides beneath a hat. “Look see,” She crosses her arms over her chest as if hugging herself, then points to me. “I Love you!” She smiles.
I roll my eyes. ‘Everyone knows that one.’ I mouth teasingly, grinning as she pouts. I make the gesture back to her and she immediately perks back up again. I wish I could be like that. She goes on, teaching me the alphabet which I give up on. It’s so much easier to write my every whim out on a piece of paper.
“Momma said you’ll be home soon.” She smiles, doodling cartoons with me. “I miss you being at home. You’re the fun sister.” She pouts.
I smile, stealing the crayon from her and writing on top of her paper, ‘I’ll be home soon, and you can skip a day of school to come shopping with me.’ She immediately perks up, going off on her eight-year old fantasy shopping spree land. I smile and nod in response. When you don’t have anything to say, it’s always the best thing to do.
XOXOXOX
KYO’S POV:
This seems to be the never ending tour…and I desperately need a break. Though, the only thoughts going through my mind have been that of that girl. I need to meet her. I want to know more about her. I want to know everything! Her voice still rings in my ears, and it seems to be the only thing I can remember. For the past couple of weeks, it’s been the only thing running through my head. I don’t remember what she looks like or her name, only her music; Her song. I’ve fallen for a total stranger.
“Kyo! Kyooooo!!!! KYO!!! We’re going out, wanna come?!!” Toshiya squawks into my ear, already drunk from the overpriced mini bar filled with cheap, tasteless alcohols in the fridge.
“No.” I sigh. The only thing I hate more than drinking is drinking with other people.
“Awe come on! You never go with us!!” Die whines.
“Because someone needs to be at the hotel to answer the phone when you do something stupid and need bailed out of prison.”
“Shinya can stay behind!” Toshiya pipes up, leaving the poor drummer to pout in the corner.
“I’m not going.” I sigh. They only shrug, making a beeline for the door.
“Suit yourself! I’m gonna get wasted and laid!” Toshiya sings, Kaoru following behind him. Die and Shinya follow close after waving goodbye and making sure their phones are on and fully charged. Finally, the door shuts and I am left in utter, glorious silence.
“And I’m not going to open the door.”
My judgment, as always, proves to be correct. I got a call about two hours after they left (which I’ll admit is a new record, they’re taking their time these days) from the hospital. Die, the dumbass, broke his arm during a fight.
“How the hell are we supposed to finish our tour?!!!” I scream into the receiver, Die groaning in pain on the other end.
“I don’t know, postpone it…I’m not all too worried about that right now!!!” He whines.
“You can’t postpone a world-wide, sold-out tour!!!” I growl. Die just continues howling in agony, and eventually the phone is handed over to Kaoru.
“We’ll figure the tour out, no worries; we have an amazing manager and stage crew for a reason. Right now we need to make sure Die heals and is still going to be able to use his hand Kyo…” Kaoru talks in a cool, soothing voice. The man should have been a therapist. I take an easy breath, calming and easing my worries.
“All right…well let me know how things go. I’ll get a hold of management…”
“Thank you Kyo. It’ll be fine.” Kaoru states. “We’ll be back late, so be sure to unlatch the door chain…and move the dresser away from it too.” He adds, a hint of sarcasm to his voice.
I can’t help smirking, “You know me too well.”
I eventually get hold of our manager, who wasn’t all too happy about being woken at 2:00 am to such lousy news. We were running low on ideas, all our best alternate guitarists being on their own tours or home sick. Cancelling the tour crossed our mind.
“Umm…how about we hold auditions for a temporary guitarist?” I offer.
“I guess that could work. I’ll think more about it tomorrow morning. We’ll have to cancel this week’s tours, or reschedule them…I’ll figure it out. I need some rest.” He sighs, obviously now stricken with a headache.
“I’ll kill Die for you.”
“Thank you Kyo.”
“Any time.”
With that, I went to bed and passed out, completely forgetting about the double locks and dresser I’d placed against the door. Needless to say, we weren’t happy campers the next day.
LEIRA’S POV:
Finally, I’m home from that dreadful place. Not that I want to be home either. It was driving me to the brink of insanity. My family surrounds me on the sofa, none saying a word but all giving me “the look.” It’s obvious they don’t know what to do. They can’t talk to me, and I can’t talk to them. I frown. I want to be away from all of this. I need time to myself. I need time to think. I need time to figure out who I am now… Letting out a long breath, I manage to escape from the clutches of my family to stow away in my room. I’ve been in long need of some music and computer time. Flipping open my lap top, I wait for the screen to load while shuffling through the songs on my iPod. Screw it; it’s much easier to let it choose for me. I guess the first thing I should check is my Facebook…which I dread. As I’d thought, I’m pummeled with notifications, messages, etc. Scrolling through them, and invite catches my eye.
Needed: Temporary Back-up Guitarist; Skilled
Where: Boar’s Head Venue
When: 11 am-11 pm
Tour Span: June-September
**Excellent pay, Cross-Country Touring, Availability NOW; further details at audition
What the hell, I know where the venue is. I play guitar. I need the cash. I’m feeling great. I miss music. Why not give it a try? What’s the worst that could happen?