Bitter-Sweet Destiny
70 Below
“I’m hungry…” Kyo grumbles to himself. I glance up from my book, the disgruntled singer lounging in the chair in front of me. His dark eyes meet my own, a mixture of aggression and vulnerability in them. He must be bored out of his mind. I frown setting my book down thinking to myself.
‘Out?’ I mouth pointing to the door, gesturing between the two of us. He shrugs.
“There’s no one else here after all.” He sighs. That’s right; Die and Toshiya went off drinking while Shinya and Kaoru are away composing. Then I hear my own stomach grumble. Come to think of it, I haven’t eaten all day. I’d been too nervous. Our tour starts tomorrow after all! The band and I have been together for a week already. Our days consisted of music as well as our nights. Hell, I even dreamed in music!
Kyo and I leave the small hotel room, donning our gay apparel. It will be Christmas soon! And it’s so cold! He bundles up in his assorted scarves, hat, mittens, coat, even sunglasses to complete the look. I only roll my eyes.
‘No one is going to recognize you here!’ I mouth nudging his side, smiling to myself.
“Oh I know that. But it’s like 70 below out here!!!” He chatters, hugging himself as we walk to a local café. Actually, he’s scurrying. I’d never imagined the demon rock god to scurry…
“Two hot chocolates.” Kyo orders for us, the waitress nodding and disappearing. He turns to me. “I can’t feel my toes.”
‘We were only outside for 5 minutes! Not even!’ I scold pointing a finger. He shrugs, eventually stripping of some of his layers.
“So are you ready for tour?” He asks, blowing warm air into cupped hands and rubbing them together. I only shake my eyes, eyes bugging.
‘Scared to death!’ I mouth shuddering.
“Oh it’s not that bad! You’ll love it.” He smiles locking his fingers. I nod as well, knowing he’s right. Somehow, he knows me so well. “What will you miss most about being away from home?” Our waitress shows up with two hot chocolates, setting them in front of us.
Hmm…that’s a tough one. ‘Friends and family.’ I shrug. I was sad to leave them, but they were even sadder. I still remember the look of desperation on Meghan’s face. It took everything in me not to cry. After all, it’s not as if I would never see her again. ‘But that’s what cellphones are for, so I have nothing to lose!’ I grin, the words a jumble on my lips. His almond eyes watch my mouth with fascination.
“I wish I knew what you sounded like…Oh I’m sorry that was rude! I didn’t mean it!” He quickly apologizes, pink tinting his cheeks.
‘It’s okay! I would wonder the same thing. I’m already forgetting what my voice was like…I miss it. I miss it more than anything.’ I frown. ‘But I think everything happens for a reason.’ I smile, fingers shaking.
“Are your hands cold?” He cocks his head, quickly taking my hands in his, our fingers lacing together.
‘I’m not cold…’ I say with his eyes on me. There’s an all new emotion in there now. He suddenly seems so warm. He sends my heart fluttering.
“No you’re not.” He whispers, a hint of a smile on his face and our fingers still tangled together.
XOXOXOX
KYO’S POV:
There’s something about her. Something is just so right. I can’t figure it out. It’s as if she came here to me for a reason. I watch her carefully as we head back to the hotel room. She holds my hand tightly, afraid of slipping on the icy sidewalk. I’m holding her hand for a different reason. She looks to me, babbling something silently as usual, her eyes saying everything. There is so much passion in them. Perhaps the eyes really are a gateway into the soul.
“Let’s go somewhere else. I’m not ready for today to be over.” I smile gauging her reaction. I hope that wasn’t too forward of me. “I just don’t want to be surrounded by the drunken idiots anytime soon.” I quickly add, her face twisting into what should be laughter. But it’s only silence. I don’t know how she can still manage to even smile. A voice is something I couldn’t live without. I don’t know what I would do.
She eventually nods to my suggestion, and we go about possible options. Movie, more food, arcade, aquarium…pretty much anything indoors.
Neither of us could come to a solution, so we settle with doing everything. If an advertisement on the street told us to do something, we did. We sat through some amateur bands, her smiling the entire time and throwing in her own comments.
“Where did you and your band make it big?” I ask turning to her in the smoky room, soft jazz playing in the background of the newest act.
‘We never really did.’ She mouths shrugging, taking a sip of my drink. I nod.
“Then where did you learn? You’re very good, and people don’t seem to intimidate you.”
‘I taught myself. And I never really notice the people…’ She explains with some difficulty, ‘I get lost in the music.’ She shrugs, smiling to herself.
“I have that same problem.” I chuckle. I never thought I’d meet anyone like her. Like me… Maybe there’s something more here.
‘What about you?’ She inquires.
“Hmm…I’ve been in showbiz so long it’s almost impossible to recall. I remember teaching myself some instruments, but singing was always my favorite. I was a groupie for the longest time, believe it or not, until I finally met Die, Kaoru, and Shinya.” I explain, “Toshiya came along later and that’s how Dir en Grey was formed.” I laugh at the thought.
‘How did you come up with the name?’
“We thought it sounded neat together.” I shrug. Again, that silent laughter sounds from her.
‘That sounds like us! I tossed a box of crayons at Max and the color that made it up his nose dictated our band’s name!’ She explains quickly. It was hard to catch but I got the gist. I move to ask what her band’s name was when my phone rings. Kaoru.
“Nothing good ever comes from a phone call from him…” I grumble. She smiles as I answer. “Don’t tell me Toshiya’s arm is broken now too.” I whine into the receiver. Kaoru laughs.
“Haha sorry to interrupt your date, but we wanted to show you some new scores we came up with.”
“Oh that’s a relief.” I sigh.
“When will you be back?” He asks. I look to Leira who is attempting to mask a yawn. It’s about 11 pm now.
“We’re on our way back now.” I respond despite her pouting.
“Okay, and be sure to call you folks. They’ve apparently been trying to get a hold of you.” He teases.
“Oh my god I’m an adult!!!”
“Mommy wants to check in with her little Tooru!!!” Kaoru teases, snickering.
“Fuck you!!”
“See you soon Kyo!” He laughs, the call ending with a click. What the hell could they want?
‘Are we leaving?’ Leira frowns, spinning her fork. I scratch my chin.
“Not before dessert.” I smirk. She shoots me a nervous look. “Cake I mean! Get your mind out of the gutter girl!” I tease.
XOXOXOX
Before long we were headed back, yet again hand in hand. There was not a patch of ice to be seen. Glancing down at her I notice the smile on her face and the pink tinge to her cheeks. I smile to myself, moving my hand from hers to wrap around her shoulders, pulling her frail body even closer to mine. The snow falls heavier now, and the streets are empty aside from us.
‘Thank you Kyo.’ She mouths looking up at me. I smile nodding, wishing she would never look away. She grows more beautiful every day, and I find it harder and harder to tear my eyes away from her.
“You’re welcome Leira. Thank you for keeping me company.” I smile. By now we’ve made it back to the hotel. But something keeps us from the warmth of indoors. We stand outside in the freezing weather, wrapped in each other’s arms locking eyes. I can’t help running a finger along her pale skin, watching as snow settles in her dark hair. Her lips part slightly before mine meet hers gently. Fire courses through my veins leaving me wanting so much more, but she pulls away. “You’re lips looked cold.” I whisper smirking.
‘I was just about to say the same thing.’ She mouths winking, a smile playing on her soft lips. I can’t help but to claim them as my own one last time, her arms wrapping around my neck to pull me closer. Even if it is 70 below out here, she’s all I need to keep warm.
XOXOXOX
Moving inside, I’m greeted with a cell phone thrust in my face, the screeching voice of my mother on the line. That’s just the way I love to come home. I glance down into Leira’s eyes, and she pushes me away smiling with understanding.
‘Go talk to your mother!’ She scolds grinning. Sighing, I take the phone disappearing into my room, flicking off Kaoru in the process.
“Hi mom.” I grumble.
“Tooru I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all week!!! Why don’t you answer me!!!”
“Because this is Kaoru’s phone. And we’ve been busy all week.” She counters that with more whining, which I tune out. “What have you been trying to get a hold of me about?” I frown. She huffs,
“You need to come home soon. We have great news for you!”
“I’m on tour. I can’t!” I shake my head.
“Well you better find time to. She’s only going to be here until the end of this month!” She scolds.
“Who are you talking about?”
“Your fiancé!”
‘Out?’ I mouth pointing to the door, gesturing between the two of us. He shrugs.
“There’s no one else here after all.” He sighs. That’s right; Die and Toshiya went off drinking while Shinya and Kaoru are away composing. Then I hear my own stomach grumble. Come to think of it, I haven’t eaten all day. I’d been too nervous. Our tour starts tomorrow after all! The band and I have been together for a week already. Our days consisted of music as well as our nights. Hell, I even dreamed in music!
Kyo and I leave the small hotel room, donning our gay apparel. It will be Christmas soon! And it’s so cold! He bundles up in his assorted scarves, hat, mittens, coat, even sunglasses to complete the look. I only roll my eyes.
‘No one is going to recognize you here!’ I mouth nudging his side, smiling to myself.
“Oh I know that. But it’s like 70 below out here!!!” He chatters, hugging himself as we walk to a local café. Actually, he’s scurrying. I’d never imagined the demon rock god to scurry…
“Two hot chocolates.” Kyo orders for us, the waitress nodding and disappearing. He turns to me. “I can’t feel my toes.”
‘We were only outside for 5 minutes! Not even!’ I scold pointing a finger. He shrugs, eventually stripping of some of his layers.
“So are you ready for tour?” He asks, blowing warm air into cupped hands and rubbing them together. I only shake my eyes, eyes bugging.
‘Scared to death!’ I mouth shuddering.
“Oh it’s not that bad! You’ll love it.” He smiles locking his fingers. I nod as well, knowing he’s right. Somehow, he knows me so well. “What will you miss most about being away from home?” Our waitress shows up with two hot chocolates, setting them in front of us.
Hmm…that’s a tough one. ‘Friends and family.’ I shrug. I was sad to leave them, but they were even sadder. I still remember the look of desperation on Meghan’s face. It took everything in me not to cry. After all, it’s not as if I would never see her again. ‘But that’s what cellphones are for, so I have nothing to lose!’ I grin, the words a jumble on my lips. His almond eyes watch my mouth with fascination.
“I wish I knew what you sounded like…Oh I’m sorry that was rude! I didn’t mean it!” He quickly apologizes, pink tinting his cheeks.
‘It’s okay! I would wonder the same thing. I’m already forgetting what my voice was like…I miss it. I miss it more than anything.’ I frown. ‘But I think everything happens for a reason.’ I smile, fingers shaking.
“Are your hands cold?” He cocks his head, quickly taking my hands in his, our fingers lacing together.
‘I’m not cold…’ I say with his eyes on me. There’s an all new emotion in there now. He suddenly seems so warm. He sends my heart fluttering.
“No you’re not.” He whispers, a hint of a smile on his face and our fingers still tangled together.
XOXOXOX
KYO’S POV:
There’s something about her. Something is just so right. I can’t figure it out. It’s as if she came here to me for a reason. I watch her carefully as we head back to the hotel room. She holds my hand tightly, afraid of slipping on the icy sidewalk. I’m holding her hand for a different reason. She looks to me, babbling something silently as usual, her eyes saying everything. There is so much passion in them. Perhaps the eyes really are a gateway into the soul.
“Let’s go somewhere else. I’m not ready for today to be over.” I smile gauging her reaction. I hope that wasn’t too forward of me. “I just don’t want to be surrounded by the drunken idiots anytime soon.” I quickly add, her face twisting into what should be laughter. But it’s only silence. I don’t know how she can still manage to even smile. A voice is something I couldn’t live without. I don’t know what I would do.
She eventually nods to my suggestion, and we go about possible options. Movie, more food, arcade, aquarium…pretty much anything indoors.
Neither of us could come to a solution, so we settle with doing everything. If an advertisement on the street told us to do something, we did. We sat through some amateur bands, her smiling the entire time and throwing in her own comments.
“Where did you and your band make it big?” I ask turning to her in the smoky room, soft jazz playing in the background of the newest act.
‘We never really did.’ She mouths shrugging, taking a sip of my drink. I nod.
“Then where did you learn? You’re very good, and people don’t seem to intimidate you.”
‘I taught myself. And I never really notice the people…’ She explains with some difficulty, ‘I get lost in the music.’ She shrugs, smiling to herself.
“I have that same problem.” I chuckle. I never thought I’d meet anyone like her. Like me… Maybe there’s something more here.
‘What about you?’ She inquires.
“Hmm…I’ve been in showbiz so long it’s almost impossible to recall. I remember teaching myself some instruments, but singing was always my favorite. I was a groupie for the longest time, believe it or not, until I finally met Die, Kaoru, and Shinya.” I explain, “Toshiya came along later and that’s how Dir en Grey was formed.” I laugh at the thought.
‘How did you come up with the name?’
“We thought it sounded neat together.” I shrug. Again, that silent laughter sounds from her.
‘That sounds like us! I tossed a box of crayons at Max and the color that made it up his nose dictated our band’s name!’ She explains quickly. It was hard to catch but I got the gist. I move to ask what her band’s name was when my phone rings. Kaoru.
“Nothing good ever comes from a phone call from him…” I grumble. She smiles as I answer. “Don’t tell me Toshiya’s arm is broken now too.” I whine into the receiver. Kaoru laughs.
“Haha sorry to interrupt your date, but we wanted to show you some new scores we came up with.”
“Oh that’s a relief.” I sigh.
“When will you be back?” He asks. I look to Leira who is attempting to mask a yawn. It’s about 11 pm now.
“We’re on our way back now.” I respond despite her pouting.
“Okay, and be sure to call you folks. They’ve apparently been trying to get a hold of you.” He teases.
“Oh my god I’m an adult!!!”
“Mommy wants to check in with her little Tooru!!!” Kaoru teases, snickering.
“Fuck you!!”
“See you soon Kyo!” He laughs, the call ending with a click. What the hell could they want?
‘Are we leaving?’ Leira frowns, spinning her fork. I scratch my chin.
“Not before dessert.” I smirk. She shoots me a nervous look. “Cake I mean! Get your mind out of the gutter girl!” I tease.
XOXOXOX
Before long we were headed back, yet again hand in hand. There was not a patch of ice to be seen. Glancing down at her I notice the smile on her face and the pink tinge to her cheeks. I smile to myself, moving my hand from hers to wrap around her shoulders, pulling her frail body even closer to mine. The snow falls heavier now, and the streets are empty aside from us.
‘Thank you Kyo.’ She mouths looking up at me. I smile nodding, wishing she would never look away. She grows more beautiful every day, and I find it harder and harder to tear my eyes away from her.
“You’re welcome Leira. Thank you for keeping me company.” I smile. By now we’ve made it back to the hotel. But something keeps us from the warmth of indoors. We stand outside in the freezing weather, wrapped in each other’s arms locking eyes. I can’t help running a finger along her pale skin, watching as snow settles in her dark hair. Her lips part slightly before mine meet hers gently. Fire courses through my veins leaving me wanting so much more, but she pulls away. “You’re lips looked cold.” I whisper smirking.
‘I was just about to say the same thing.’ She mouths winking, a smile playing on her soft lips. I can’t help but to claim them as my own one last time, her arms wrapping around my neck to pull me closer. Even if it is 70 below out here, she’s all I need to keep warm.
XOXOXOX
Moving inside, I’m greeted with a cell phone thrust in my face, the screeching voice of my mother on the line. That’s just the way I love to come home. I glance down into Leira’s eyes, and she pushes me away smiling with understanding.
‘Go talk to your mother!’ She scolds grinning. Sighing, I take the phone disappearing into my room, flicking off Kaoru in the process.
“Hi mom.” I grumble.
“Tooru I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all week!!! Why don’t you answer me!!!”
“Because this is Kaoru’s phone. And we’ve been busy all week.” She counters that with more whining, which I tune out. “What have you been trying to get a hold of me about?” I frown. She huffs,
“You need to come home soon. We have great news for you!”
“I’m on tour. I can’t!” I shake my head.
“Well you better find time to. She’s only going to be here until the end of this month!” She scolds.
“Who are you talking about?”
“Your fiancé!”