Bitter-Sweet Destiny

LEIRA’S POV:

I had finally returned to my second home in Japan, and already most of my second family had arrived at the airport to greet me. Shinya, Die, and Toshiya instantly crowded around me, scooping me up and squeezing tightly.

“We missed you!!!” They all cried in unison as I struggled to breathe. Flailing my arms and legs, they seemed to get the picture, instantly letting go. I gasped in air, my lungs thanking me. I looked to the guys, a smile on my features.

‘I missed you all more!’ I mouth, hugging them all separately. It was much easier to breathe the second time around. ‘Where are the others?’ I question Shinya.

“Kaoru says he is extremely sorry he couldn’t make it. He had an urgent meeting to attend with our management. And Kyo just got back late last night, so he is still asleep. Can you blame us for not wanting to wake him?” Shinya laughs nervously, making me believe there is more to the story than what he is saying. I furrow my brows, letting him know I am not buying the bit about Kyo. He sighs, “You’re not going to like what you see when we get back…”

‘What’s wrong? Is somebody hurt?!’ I utter quickly.

“No no no!!! Everyone is in perfect health! It’s just…I don’t know how to say it.” Shinya bites his lip, turning to meet Die and Toshiya.

“Don’t look at us! We’re the blunt ones!” They squeak, “If you don’t know how to tell her then we certainly don’t know how!” Die finishes the sentence, eyes falling on me. I huff, squeezing my fingers together, begging for reason. Is Kyo okay like Shinya says? What are they keeping from me? I flip my phone out of my pocket, checking for any new messages: Nothing but those between these three and myself while I was home with my family. Not a single message from Kyo. I haven’t heard from him since the day he left. Even then, he was distant. Frowning, I shove the device back into my pocket and gather my luggage.

“Leira?” Shinya mutters. I look back to him, urging them all to move forward.

‘Come on guys! I’m starved and exhausted!’ I tease, hoping to lighten the mood. After all, I’m not sure what to expect back at the hotel, but I know it is not going to be pleasant.

XOXOXOX

KYO’S POV:

Opening my eyes, my alarm glares 2:00 pm in my face. I guess now’s a better time than ever to get up. Frowning, I roll over in bed to be greeted by her sleeping face. It’s not the one I’d expected to see. I’d grown so used to waking up to Leira’s face. Her happy smile and shining eyes, even her crazy bed head. The woman I woke to today, however, was my wife. What happened? Why is it not Leira I’m with? Sighing, I roll out of bed and trudge over to the shower, locking the door behind me. I’ve made a terrible decision. I let my body relax under the steaming hot water, feeling my once tense muscles loosen. I’ve made a stupid decision, out of a stupid crush. I recall first setting eyes on Sky.

‘Is it really her? She looks so familiar, and I was told she was a singer.’ Her black eyes flash to my own, long dark hair cascading past her shoulders and down her slender waist. Her red lips twist into a smirk, beckoning me closer. ‘It can’t be. It’s impossible. This can’t be the voice I’d fallen for. I’d forgotten all about the woman while I was with Leira, but here she is, right in front of my eyes. My perfect stranger.’

‘Hello Kyo.’ She purrs. There’s no mistaking that voice. It has to be her.

We’d decided to compose and practice together that night. Secretly, I’d wanted only to hear her sing. I wanted to know if I’d finally met the woman that claimed my heart with her entrancing voice. Maybe my desire was what convinced me. I just wanted to find that woman, if it was the last thing I did. And here she is, seated across from me with our engagement ring resting on her finger. It gleams as brightly as her eyes. There’s no mistaking her. Finally, there was a face to my perfect stranger. And so, the next day we were married.

I turn the shower off, satisfied with my cleanliness. Drying my body, I wrap the towel around my waist to return to my room. Surprisingly, I find the bed empty. I dress myself for the day and retire to the living room where Sky and Leira stand face to face.

I’d hoped to break the news a little later than this…

XOXOXOX

LEIRA’S POV:

Kyo’s…married? To Sky? My best friend? She stands in front of me, smiling happily. I hear a click, followed by Kyo himself. He looks like a deer caught in headlights.

‘…That’s great!’ I exclaim silently, attempting to smile. My body feels broken now, but I should be happy for them, no? After all, two of the most important people in my life finally found happiness. Who knew it would be to each other. ‘I’m happy for you both.’ I mouth, looking at Kyo this time. I can’t read his eyes. My heart clenches, shattering into pieces. ‘I have to shower!’ I lie, disappearing as quickly as I could into the nearest bathroom, locking the door behind me. Tears pour down my face, but I don’t care. I’ve lost the one I loved. I’ve lost my voice. I’ve lost my future. Now, there is nothing to look forward to but completing this tour and pouring everything I’ve got into it. Besides, I still have my friends. Wiping my face, I unlock and open the door only to be met with Kyo. He pushes me back into the small room, joining me as well. His almond eyes stare into mine.

“I’m sorry Leira.” He whispers. “I led you on, and I’m sorry.” He moves closer, taking my hands in his. “I never meant to hurt you. You will always be special to me.” His gentle voice hums. His lips press to my forehead and I can hear his heart thrum painfully. His strong arms pull me close as he rests his cheek atop my head. “…I love you Leira, but I’ve made a terrible mistake.” With that, he departs. My head spins in confusion, and I’d only wished the whole episode lasted longer. If he loves me, then why is he with her? Or am I the mistake?

XOXOXOX

I was dreaming, or maybe it was a nightmare. Either way, I found myself at the foot of Kyo’s and Sky’s bed. They were sleeping soundly, entangled in each other’s arms. As I moved closer to Kyo, I found something weighed heavy in my grasp. Glancing down, I found a sharp dagger entwined within my fingers. Kyo shifted, startling me. I let my eyes fall on him, studying his dark ink patterns. I never learned the story behind all of them, and I knew I would never have the chance to. His lips part, delicate sound resonates from them. “I love you.” I whisper, tears breaking free and falling down my face. I can hear my own voice bouncing off the walls, swimming in the air, teasing me as it so often had in dreams. In nightmares. “I love you with all my heart.” I knew what this dagger in my hand was meant for. It was not for revenge. It was to end suffering. But who’s?

Closing my eyes, my tears bubbled over. Neither Kyo nor Sky was suffering. There was only one person left in the room. It was me.

And so, I drove the dagger straight through my own heart. Finally, I was free. Free of heartache, free of disease, free of suffering…

And then I woke up.

XOXOXOX

It was the night of our final show. This is it, the last night I’d have with everyone on tour. After this, I would have to say goodbye to this family as well. That was a moment I dreaded.

“Are you feeling okay Leira?” Kaoru questions, his warm hand resting on my shoulder. I look up to him, quickly nodding.

‘I’m just a bit nervous!’ I lie, and he catches on.

“You haven’t been yourself lately.” He argues frowning.

‘…I guess I haven’t…’ I trail off, catching sight of Kyo and Sky, her fingers laced with his.

“Don’t mind them.” Kaoru presses, bringing my attention back to him. “It won’t last long. Kyo doesn’t love her. He’s in love with someone else.” He smiles nudging me. I blush, smiling at the thought. Maybe there’s still a chance? “Anyway, you play your heart out up there Leira. Show them what you’ve got. Show him what you’ve got.” He winks, taking my hand and kissing it gently. “Break a leg princess.” He teases before vanishing.

“Princess?” A raspy voice questions from behind, making me jump. “Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you!” Shinya squeaks. I laugh, waving it off. “So this is it, our last live… we’re going to miss you Leira.” He frowns.

‘Awe I’m going to miss all of you so much more!’ I mouth, tears forming in my eyes.

“Why don’t you come live in Japan?” He pleads, “None of us want you to go!”

‘Shinya, I have to leave.’ I frown, ‘I have a family to return to.’

“But you’re our family too!” He cracks. I’d always pictured these five as an extension of my family, but finally hearing it out of one of them…It brings me to tears. “I’m sorry Leira! I don’t want you to cry!!!”

‘No it’s okay! I’m happy!’ I smile. I was happy to be included. Finally, I felt like I was a part of Dir en Grey, not just some fill in. I had finally made it somewhere in life. I was a part of something, and they were a part of me. ‘I love you all!’ I cry as he wraps his arms around me and I throw mine around him, hiding my face in his shirt. I love them all. I feel two more bodies join in our hug, and automatically I know it’s Die and Toshiya. ‘I can’t breathe you three!’ I tease, wiping the tears from my eyes.

“You can go thirty more seconds without breathing.” Die whines, squeezing tighter. Toshiya lands a peck on my cheek and then musses up my hair.

'I don't know if I'm going to miss you two.' I joke as they pout. I smile, kissing the three of them each on the cheek.

“Dir en Grey! You’re on!!” A stage hand shouts. One by one the guys disappear until it’s only Kyo and I.

‘Do your best out there.’ I smile, walking to stage. Unexpectedly, Kyo pulls me back.

“I’m going to miss you the most.” He whispers before letting me go. He leaves my mind confused as I walk on stage, greeted by thousands of cheering fans.

“This is our final show for this tour! So are you ready to make this one the best?!” Kyo roars into the mic. “I want to hear you scream!!” The crowd does as he pleases. The noise makes my ears buzz and fingertips tingle. Taking Die’s guitar in hand, I strum a single chord, feeling my stomach clench in excitement. I close my eyes, taking in all these sensations, memorizing every detail. “Before we begin, the five of us have a big thank you to give. I’m not sure you’re all familiar with Leira. This is our beautiful guitarist, filling in for dumbass Die!” He teases, making me blush as all eyes are on me.

“Hey now!” Die argues from the side lines.

“Anyway, this is our final night with Leira, so let’s all give her a proper send off!” Kyo smiles looking into my eyes. Alarmingly, I hear a familiar sound. Looking around, I try to discover where it’s coming from, only to find a massive screen behind me, plastered with my face. By now, I'm the shade of a firetruck.

‘Kyo!’ I squawk silently.

“Shh! This is the first time I’m watching this!” He shushes, as if it’s even necessary to shush me. I can hear my voice swimming around me and the vast audience. It’s the final concert I’d played, where I still had a voice. Tears fill my eyes as I watch the screen. The only sound filling the arena is my voice, my old voice. I glance over at Kyo as he stares wide eyed at me, the gears in his head clicking together. Finally, the clip came to a close, and Toshiya strummed the first couple chords, filling the empty air with a dark melody. A smile broke out. I could tell, tonight was going to be perfect. I lost myself to the music, letting my voice be heard. Silently, I sang along, putting my all into every note I strummed, every step I took. I was one of them, and they were a part of me. Finally.

I died that night, diving into the sea of onlookers. It wasn’t them that killed me, it’s just an expression. My voice had finally been heard, and I played my heart out. I lost all that hurt me and returned to the light. Our story may be a bitter-sweet one, but I believe it was one with a happy ending. For me at least.

XOXOXOX

KYO’S POV:

It really had been her all along. Leira. I recall watching that massive screen with her by my side. Her sweet, powerful voice rang in my ears. I’d had her all along. I’d looked to her, tears streaming down her pale face and a smile on her lips. Who knew that would be the last time I saw her?

Sitting at my desk, my fingers move across the keyboard of their own accord. A new song appears before me on the screen. Her voice will be heard, sung through me and played through the rest of the guys. After all, she is a part of us all.

“You will never be forgotten Leira, not as long as I’m around.”



The End