I've Medicated Myself Again

After talking about everything that happened, I was informed my father went to jail for child abuse and drug use. My mother is talking about buying a new house, of already have... I'm not exactly sure... But it being ready as soon as I get out of everything here. She told me my room was almost fully packed and she was so happy about it all and the living room is already ready I don't really understand how she was so happy about all of this. I just tried to kill myself.
I guess it's just her way of coping.
My mother and Ronnie are close, I honestly owe him a ton. My mother really has no one here except for me now that my dad is gone. She seems better off now than before everything that happened even sitting in a hospital room.
"Mom, can I go outside and smoke?" I asked.
"Of course, lemme get your purse and help you into a wheel chair. I doubt you can walk." she chuckled lightly.
"Here, I'll help her." Ronnie said as my mother stood up.
I pushed the white blanket off of me and quickly ignored my legs. Before I could look up I was already picked up out of the bed in a pair of arms. Ronnie's. He smiled at me and I smiled back thanking him and he sat me in the chair. My mother handed me my purse, I smiled and thanked her. I started to push myself but Ronnie said he'd take me so I wasn't alone.
We went down the hallways in silence, well, I did. Ronnie said hello's to a few people and whatnot until we got outside. He rolled me to a bench and sat me in front of it, facing the bench. He sat in front of me and stared up at the sky.
I went through my purse and found my cigarettes, I lit one up and smiled instantly. Smoke filled my lungs as I watched his features. I'm surprised she's talked to him so much, and he's put up with it. He blinked and stared at the moon for a few seconds then looked at me. It was too late to look away so I quickly came up with something to talk about.
"Ronnie, right?" I asked. God, I'm stupid. That's all I got? Really?
"Yep," he popped the 'p' casually.
"M'name's Elizabeth." I said with a smile sticking my hand out.
He shook my hand a chuckled.
"We were never actually introduced, plus if I wasn't in this thing I'd hug you. I'm a hug person." I nodded and blew smoke to the side.
He just laughed and agreed looking away again. Why does this seem so awkward?
"Did you come to my house with your father that night?" I asked.
His eyes quickly shot at me, I could see hurt in his eyes. He nodded. I took another long drag and put the cigarette out on the wheel oh my chair.
"I remember your voice." I told him.
"Really?" he asked.
"Yea, the last thing I remember is you wrapping my wrist up and comforting my mother." I said.
"Wow," he said.
"What?" I asked.
"I thought you were dead. You were so lifeless. It's crazy to even see you in front of me, Elizabeth."
"I thought I was too. I couldn't move, speak, see, but I could hear everything."
He seemed shock, "How?"
" I don't even know... I took a lot of Advil and drank an entire bottle of wine." I shrugged.
"That's what you did? I thought you got shitfaced or something." he asked.
"I wanted to thin my blood, honestly." I said looking away.
"Oh..." he was silent for a while, "Like getting a tattoo. You're not supposed to drink or anything before it because your blood can't be thin."
I nodded. Disappointment washed over his face but went away we he saw me looking at him. He scooted forward and took his jacket off, standing up he wrapped it around me and sat back down.
"You look cold." he said quietly.
"Thank you," I replied wanting to continue the conversation but I didn't know what.
He starred into the sky longer and memories from that night kept flashing into my head. I couldn't forget them. I looked down at my leg and frowned instantly. I looked closely at every stitch and the leg brace on my right leg made it look even worse. My wrists had huge white bandages on them, I probably looked like a lunatic.
I looked off at a tree trying to push the imaged of my legs out of my head. I want to go back to sleep. That's all I want to do at the moment, but I was staring off at a tree. I want to go back into the dark cold sleep and stay there until everything was healed and faded away.