Come Down With Love

For the hour that I had time to kill I simply wondered around. It was a good thing I didn’t run into Zach. I didn’t even want to speak to him yet alone look at him. I still had no clue as to what I would do when I got back on the bus. But I would have to figure it out soon because the hour was up and I needed to make my back to the water park entrance and then to the parking lot where the tour bus would be waiting.

Slowly I steered my way through the people, the sun slowly coming down as it was in the afternoon. I was dreading getting back on the bus so I purposefully walked as slow as possible.

But still, the time came. I came onto the black-paved parking lot and located the tour bus easy-peesy because of its size. It looked giant compare to any big trucks parked. I came to the steps and ascended them, opening the door before I came to the first step. Once I opened the door I saw Paul in the driver’s seat.

“You have a good time?” He asked me.

“Uh, yeah,” I lied. “Is Zach here yet?”

“No. He better be soon,” Paul said in his country accent. “Hey, why isn’t he with you?”

“We kind of lost each other,” I said. There I was lying again. Was I going to have to lie to Cameron too? “Where are the rest of the boys?”

Paul cleared his throat. “Back lounge. They made me take them to an ice cream shop up a ways. And then there were Allstar Weekend fan girls there. Disaster, I tell you,” Paul sighed.

I laughed. “That must’ve been fun.” At least the boys wouldn’t be mad Zach and I went to a water park without them.

I heard the boys goofing off in the back lounge and I decided I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself. I tip-toed to the bathroom, turning the light on when I closed the door behind me. I changed out of my swimsuit and into some sweat pants and a school t-shirt I still had from the seventh grade. Then I combed through my tangled hair and took off the small percentage of make-up that had managed to stay on my eyes. Waterproof mascara never works, I told myself.

I shut the light out and made my way to my bed. I climbed into it and sighed facing the wall. I hugged Boo to my chest despite the fact that Zach had given him to me. Then I shut my eyes and breathed in the smell of Cameron that lingered in my sheets considering he had been sleeping in my bed that day. I didn’t want it there. It only reminded me of how I would have to tell him what happened between Zach and me.

My mind drifted off to moments between Cameron and me.

Cameron leaned in, kissing me slowly and passionately. I kissed him back, resting my hand at the nape of his neck. Things started to move faster. He set his hand at my thigh and I realized we were making out. He nipped at my bottom lip and I let him enter his tongue. Guiltily I thought ‘How would this feel with Zach?’

We pulled away, breathing hard. With Cameron it just felt like… nothing. He didn’t make me shiver or want more. The kiss didn’t make me feel anything. None of them did…
Cameron pulled me onto his lap and hugged me.

“Cameron?” I whispered.

“Yes?”

“Just so you, um, know… I don’t want to go any further then second base,” I said shyly.

He lifted his head up looking me in the eyes surprised. “Oh, Aud, I don’t expect you to.
In fact I don’t want to. I want to take things slow.”

“Me too.” I smiled and pecked his lips.

Coming out of the memory I realized that in the end, either way, I knew I would break Cameron’s heart. Whether it would be because I had feelings for Zach or because something would happen between Zach and me. Deep down… I knew it. What made me feel even worse about it was, I could’ve stopped it. I could’ve told Cameron no from the start. It would have hurt him, sure. Maybe a tiny bit. But now I would break his heart.

For the first time during the tour I had a hard time falling asleep.



“Audrey,” Someone whispered into my ear. I opened my eyes and adjusted them, the lights were dimmed.

“Cam?”

“Yup.”

I scooted over in my bed to make room for him. He climbed in and immediately I remember all that had happened that day. Oh, crap. For those three seconds I forgot. I should have faked being asleep.

Cameron scooted close to me, our bodies pressed against each other. I felt so awkward; I planted my back against the wall, listening to the hum of the bus. Then to make it worse he wrapped his arms around me and caressed my cheek.

“Are the boys sleeping?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Cameron looked over and I peeked up above him and Zach was in his bed. The other boys were in theirs too and from then on Cameron and I would need to whisper.

“What time is it?” I asked incredulously.

“Like ten PM.”

“Whoa, I’ve been sleeping for a long time.”

“Yeah, you have. I’ve been dying to wake you up,” He admitted.

“Oh… Cam, I have to talk to you about something.”

“Can I go first?” He asked excitedly.

“I guess so…”

“Okay, so today we went to some ice cream shop while you and Zach were at the water park and there were so many fans.” He smiled. “It was really fun. And I sort of let it slip out that you’re my girlfriend. So if you start to see it in Pop magazine, you know how it got leaked.”

I widened my eyes at him. Oh, no. Now it would be known to the world that I was with him. And this just made everything even more complicated.

I had to think of how to break it to him. I mean, I didn’t have to just then. I didn’t even know if I should then but I didn’t what to pretend with him. I thought it would only hurt him more.

“You won’t want me to be your girlfriend for long,” I said quietly.

He gave me a confused look. “What are you talking about?”

“Today,” I started. “Zach and I were at the water park. And I...” I trailed off wondering how much I should tell him. He probably wouldn’t want to know all of the details.

“You cheated?” He asked.

“Well, no, not exactly,” I said as he tried to get out of my bed. I grabbed his arms and kept him there with me, desperation written all over my face.

I didn’t want to put it all on Zach but he was the one who kissed me the way he did. “Zach kissed my neck basically. And I told him to stop. But I can’t be with you anymore, Cam.” I looked into his sad eyes. “It’s not good for either of us. I can’t keep forcing myself to try to love you when I’m so in love with someone else who drives me crazy. I mean I wanted him to kiss me…

“And you shouldn’t want me either. I’m such a bitch. I’m so sorry. You have to know that. And if you never want to speak to me ever again, I understand.”

“Audrey, first of all,” Cameron began and I thought he would start to tell me off. “You are not a bitch. You’re nothing like Caroline. I could already tell you were thinking that. I love you, yes. But you love Zach and it’s just never going to change. But yes, that was hard to hear. I don’t know if I’ll be able to… be best friends with you like before. And I agree we shouldn’t be together. I’m glad you told me. You’re not any Caroline.” He kissed the top of my forehead and got out of my bed.

Stunned, I lay there frozen. A part of me wanted him to be mad.

Cameron turned the lights off completely and went to his pull-out couch. Just like that we were over.