The Girl Who Couldn't Feel

I woke up, and realized I was in a bed. I looked around, as the haze slowly went away, and I could see again. I realized Jaden was sitting on a chair to my right, and he was reading something. As I shifted a bit, Jaden looked up and smiled.

“So, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Ok.” I whispered, though I actually felt awful. My body ached, and I kept coughing. The coughs only made my sore throat hurt more. On top of that, I felt really dizzy.

“You should rest… don’t worry, I’ll be right here.” He whispered, moving the hair that had fallen onto my face behind my ear. I was too tired to say anything about it. Slowly, I felt my eyes closing, though I tried to keep them open. Though my eyes were closed, I still felt aware of the things around me. I could hear Jaden flipping the pages of his book next to me, or at least I thought I was awake. Then, I heard some footsteps, and knew that someone else had come into the room. But, I wasn’t actually sure if I was dreaming or not…

“Ah, Tammy.” I heard Jaden whisper. “She woke up, but went to sleep again.”

“She looks like she’s sleeping peacefully.” I heard Tammy say.

“I’m thinking of taking her home, and letting her mother take care of her.” I heard Jaden say.

“umm, I think you should take care of her, since she’s really sick.” Tammy said, I could hear how nervous she was.

“Why?”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t ask…” I heard her sigh. Then, there was a silence. Jaden was probably staring her down. “oh, alright. Her aunt and uncle never liked her that much…Let’s just say I know they would just leave her alone in her room and expect her to get by all by herself. And, they’d probably yell at her while they’re at it. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did…”

“Are you serious? You gotta be kidding…I mean I met her parents…I mean her uncle and aunt, and they seem nice.”

“Are you kidding? Listen, I’ve known her for a long time, and I’ve known them for a long time too.” I heard her mutter. She was awful at keeping her mouth shut…it’s a surprise the whole world doesn’t know everything about me…Oh, Tammy… I realized it was oddly quiet. Then I heard Tammy speak again. “You’ve never seen anything odd…Marie’s never gotten hurt, and told you that she fell, or something like that. Come on, she’s not that clumsy…Like her wrist…that definitely wasn’t an accident.” I heard her whisper very quietly.

“You’re kidding…she would say something if that were true.” Jaden whispered back, after a couple of minutes of silence.

“She would?”

“But, I’m home all the time.” Jaden replied.

“All the time?” I heard Tammy quietly laugh. “What about yesterday! Where were you, huh! Where were you when they left her outside in the backyard all night.” I heard Tammy raise her voice. She was mad. She was always like that. Angered by small things when they involved me. She still felt guilty about leaving me alone the day I was hit by a car…

“What? She was at your house.”

“Jaden, stop ignoring the truth. You know that was a lie. She was outside all night. It was so cold last night, and she spent it on the lawn outside the house! I thought you were home all the time. Didn’t you see it happen.” She was getting much louder. I had to stop her. She shouldn’t be randomly telling people things like this. My eyes flickered open for a second, and I saw Tammy grabbing Jaden’s shirt collar. Was this really happening? What was I doing sleeping? I had to stop her. This was going too far. Even she didn’t understand anything.

“Then why haven’t you told anyone huh? If you know this…”

“You want me to separate her from the only family she has left? The only people who are actually related to her? The people she cares about? I’ve talked to her before…she told me not to say anything…and I promised the two of them a long time ago that I would be whatever they needed me to be.”

“They?” Jaden whispered. What did she mean? What they? Who was she talking about?

“Umm…I have to go.” Tammy muttered. I heard some footsteps.

“Tammy?” I heard Jaden say, but I knew she was gone. It got quieter after that. I didn’t hear anything. But, I didn’t dream either. I just lay there, in the blackness…waiting, but I didn’t know for what… As I slept more, what I’d heard seemed more and more like a dream. No, it was a dream. I was sure. It couldn’t have been anything else…

I felt someone touch my right arm, which had a small bandage now that only covered the bruised area on my wrist. I felt someone pealing the bandage off, and then placing it back on. Then, there was a soft pat on my cheek.

“Marie…Marie.” I heard someone say. I opened my eyes and saw Jaden. I still felt feverish and dizzy, but my coughing had reduced. “Marie, we should go home now, school’s over.” He smiled. I looked at him, a bit dazed, and then realized what he was saying. “I got your backpack. Do you think you can walk? Or should I…”

“I’m fine.” I muttered, slowly getting up. I was already dizzy, and I knew getting up quickly wouldn’t help. I stood up, and took a few steps, but I was trembling a bit. As I started tipping to a side, I felt an arm around my waist.

“I’ll just keep an arm around you. Is that alright?” He smirked. I would have refused, but I knew I wouldn’t make it home without some support. I didn’t like it though. I didn’t like having to depend on someone else. Then I realized that there were still people at school, and if they saw us, Kelly would definitely hear about it. He might like her. They hung out quite a lot at school, and that wasn’t by force. He lived in the same house as me. He wouldn’t have even known me if that wasn’t true. He had no choice but to know me, but it wasn’t the same with Kelly. Even though I didn’t want to believe it, but it was possible that he liked her. Maybe he had been upset that she saw him with me when we were in the garden. It’s not like he liked me. He had left me for her. And, they looked good together…okay, so I didn’t actually believe the last part, but who was I to say anything about who he liked. I wasn’t normal, and that’s why people left me alone. Why would he talk to me if he didn’t have to? Now, I was forcing him to help carry me home. He probably was upset about it. He probably just felt bad for me, since he realized I was always alone. But, I didn’t need him. I didn’t need his pity, because I was fine. I didn’t need anyone. I pulled his arm off me.

“No. I can walk alone. I don’t need your help. You don’t have to walk with me.” I said, but I had to stop walking. Walking and talking wasn’t going to work out well for me today. He looked at me confused. “Kelly will find out. You wouldn’t want that, right?” I said, looking away. It hurt. Not telling him that, it was just my throat that hurt.

“Fine.” I heard him say, and he walked ahead of me. I walked slowly, keeping a good gap, and because I couldn’t walk that fast. Slowly, we walked home. He was several feet ahead of me, but he glanced back quite often. We were a few blocks away, when I felt unusually dizzy. I felt myself falling backward. This wasn’t going to be good. I closed my eyes, but I felt someone catch me from behind.

“Marie! You shouldn’t be walking alone like this.” Tammy yelled, as she helped steady me. I probably should have eaten something today, it definitely wasn’t helping my balance that I hadn’t… “Jaden, why are you walking so far ahead? Help her.” Tammy growled.

“Tammy, I don’t need him.” I mumbled.

“What are you doing here?” I heard Jaden say, as he approached us.

“I live down that last street, but I saw Marie wobbling, so I ran over.”

I pushed Tammy off me. “I don’t need you either. Why the heck are you always following me? Leave me alone. I don’t need your pity either. I don’t need you watching over me. I have a mother.” I mumbled at her. I was tired of playing this game. She wasn’t my friend; she was just another person watching over me, as if I were an infant. I don’t need this. “I’m tired of this. Why are you guys watching over me! Haven’t I been living fine these last 5 years. I’ve been fine on my own.” For some reason, I felt choked by their constant presence. I wasn’t used to this. I wasn’t used to constantly feeling other people’s pain, constantly surrounded by a fog of worry, fear, and pain. Since Jaden’s arrival, everything was changing. I didn’t like it. I spent 5 years living the same way, and he thought he could just come here and try to force me to talk again. He thought he could force me to just live with all the pain surrounding me. I didn’t want to. I wanted to keep away from it. I wanted my safe place back again. Could they not feel how congested the air was? Was it just me who could feel the pain of the lady who was walking by, who just lost her dog? Why was it only me? Why me? It was so hard to be around people. Everyone was in pain. Everyone. No matter how much they smiled.

“S-sorry, Marie.” Tammy mumbled. “You’re right. I-I’m gonna go.” I didn’t watch her walk away.

“What are you doing? She was helping you!” Jaden growled at me.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what, Marie? What am I doing?” His voice was thick with frustration.

“Changing everything. Everything is fine the way it is. Don’t change it. Leave me and my world alone. Just go on, and pretend you don’t see me.”

“No.”

“What?” I finally looked up at him. The sun was hitting my eyes as I looked at him, so I couldn’t see his face well as I squinted.

“No, because it’s time someone looked. You aren’t invisible, Marie. I see you.” He whispered. Before I could respond, he put his hand behind my back and grabbed my legs with his other hand, carrying me princess style. I was shocked for the first few seconds, and he began walking.

“Wh-wh-” I began, trying to move away from him.

“Keep quiet, or I’ll kiss you.” He smirked at me. I stared at him for a second, stunned at what he had said. I then looked away. I didn’t want him to see me staring at him…just in case he got the wrong idea. With an expressionless face, I looked away from him.

“You’ll get sick.”

“Don’t worry, Princess. I’ll be fine.” He chuckled. I wasn’t a princess. Why did he keep saying that? I wasn’t even close to a princess. He carried me all the way home, and only let me down when he placed me on my bed. He grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around me. He then left the room, and then returned after what seemed like forever with a bowl of tomato soup with vegetables.

"I made some soup. You haven't had anything all day right?" He said as he carefully handed me the bowl after I had lifted myself up so that I was sitting instead of lying down. He watched me carefully as I finished the soup.

"It... was good. Thank you." I mumbled quietly, and he smirked as he took the bowl back.

"No problem, Princess." He said as he walked out again and returned with a Tylenol pill in his hand and a glass of water. “Here. Take this.” He held his hand out for me to take it, but I held onto the blanket with both hands, fidgeting.

“I..nt..” I mumbled.

“Hmm?” he said, a smile playing on his lips.

“I can’t…I’ve never swallowed a pill before…” I mumbled a bit louder. He started laughing loudly.

“You’ve never swallowed a pill before?” he said, through his laughter. After I grumbled no and looked away, he stopped laughing. “Okay, give me a second.” He left the room again, and I pulled the blanket tighter around me. I actually was feeling a bit cold. He came back into the room, but this time, he had a glass of water in one hand, and a spoon of what seemed to be sugar. “Don’t think just open your mouth.” He said quickly. I opened the mouth and he stuck the spoon in it. I realized it wasn’t just sugar on the spoon. It tasted bitter, but the sugar made it taste a lot better. “I crushed the medicine and mixed it with the sugar. Here, drink some water.” I grabbed the water and washed down the sugar and crushed medicine. “There, now, go to sleep. I’ll be right over there.” He said, pointing to his bed. I placed my head down on the pillow, and looked at him, sitting on the sofa bed with some book. Oddly enough, I felt safe, as I slowly closed my eyes and went to sleep. As I drifted off, I could swear I heard him say, “Sleep tight, Princess.”