The Lace Masquerade

WARNING: This chapter is REALLY long. Like, 10,000+ long. I suggest you hunker down with a drink and some popcorn….

October 14, 2010
12:23 PM
Location-Lunch
Feeling: Cordial

So finally caved and texted him.

Fitz, I mean. This morning, I was sitting in the MI lab between Clare and Connor, listening to Ms. Oh drag on and on about HTML layouts. As if I haven’t known how to design web pages since I was ten, and could spell “default” properly.

Hey, It’s Hollie. What’s up? It took him a solid three minutes to answer.

Hollie? What time is it? I looked at the clock before replying.

9:02…why?

Shit! I’m late for homeroom >.< I hid the smile that rose to my lips.

Slept in? I’m assuming it was a late night out.

You can say that again.

Do I wanna know?

Just me and the guys hanging out at the ravine. Bianca and her little friends came along later. I’ve got a major headache. I felt a little pang hearing (well, reading…) the name Bianca. So there was a girl there? I’ve seen Fitz in the hall a few times flanked by a tall, skinny girl with super curly hair.

I’m going to guess that there was alcohol involved?

XD Maybe…I rolled my eyes.

So while you were getting wasted, I was volunteering at a youth center. Loser.

I wouldn’t say wasted….and why the hell were you volunteering at a youth center? Sounds like a waste of time.

It wasn’t. Clare asked me to come with, and it’s not like I had anything better to do.

You could’ve come with.

What, Bianca not woman enough for you?

Bianca is…well she’s something. But I would have much rather had your company. I smiled, and looked up in time to see Ms. Oh glance at me.

“Miss Peterson, please put that away.” The entire class turned to look at me, and I blushed as I slid my phone in my jean pocket.

We texted pretty much the entire day, with the exception of English and lunch, the times when I saw both Eli and Clare. Somehow, I don’t think either of them would be very happy if they’d found out who I was texting.

Everyone’s coming over tomorrow, BTW. We were sitting in English a little while ago, and Eli was complaining about not having anything to do this weekend.

“I was thinking about going to Bianca’s party at the ravine,” Eli started, penning something on the line of paper in front of him. Clare looked at him.

“Wouldn’t Fitz be there? I mean, I thought he and Bianca are like…an item.” I sat up then, listening. Fitz and Bianca. Together?

“Nah. Bianca’s pick of the month is some loser named Ron-Ron. She met him at the Dead Hands concert, and they’ve been texting off and on.” I raised an eyebrow.

“Someone knows a lot about Bianca.”

“Someone just happened to be there when she got completely smashed and spilled her metaphorical guts to the group. Some literal, too.” I let out a laugh. Okay. So Bianca and Fitz; definitely not a couple. “And what does it matter if Fitz is there?” Clare gave him a sarcastic look, and put her pen down.

“Gee, I don’t know.”

“Ms Edwards, please keep it down!” Ms. Dawes gave Clare an admonishing look and then went back to writing. Clare bent down, getting quieter.

“Maybe because the last time you two were near each other, you got a bloody lip, and he went to the police station.”

“It's not like he didn’t deserve it,” Eli said, leaning back in his chair. “And besides, I figured neither of you would be very interested in going to the Ravine.” Clare and I glanced at each other.

“What? Four days and we’re already a packaged deal?” Clare laughed, and Eli shrugged.

“I don’t know. I mean, you guy may have just met, but you’re already pretty close from what I’ve seen. Don’t you guys have like…all your classes together?”

“Just five.”

“Right. Just five.” Eli laughs. “And you eat lunch together. And you hang out after school.” I was about to ask him how he knew we hung out yesterday, when continued. “And you guys are a lot alike.” I looked at Clare. Clare looked at me. And we both burst out laughing. “What? It’s true.” He held up his left hand and wiggled is ring finger. “The rings?”

“Eli,” I started, leaning forward. “Just because Clare and I both wear Claddagh rings doesn’t mean we have the same beliefs.” I looked at Clare. “Nor does it mean, and no offence to you Clare, that we are anywhere near the same level experience wise.” Clare shrugged.

“None taken.” I smiled, and I saw Eli smirk out of the corner of my eye.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Peterson?” He leaned forward too, cocking an eyebrow. “Under table favors at the president’s dinner? Quickies with whats-his-face-Percy-Jackson at the Teen Choice Awards?” I stopped momentarily, startled. Clare let out a restrained snort. He was spot on on that last bit. I mean, not the quickie part. Ew. I would never have sex with Logan. It was 1) illegal and 2) definitely not something I was ready for. But we had made out in the women’s lounge moments before presenting at last years TCA’s.

“That, Goldsworthy, is none of your business.” He shrugged.

“Whatever.” He looks back down at his paper. “There are other reasons you two are alike.”

“As in?” Clare asked.

“You both like bad boys.” Clare and I looked at each other, and she crossed her arms, sitting back in her chair.

“I wouldn’t exactly call KC a ‘bad boy’. Sure, keying your coach’s car isn’t exactly the smartest thing to do, but it’s not ‘bad.’” I shook my head. She’d told me about this whole escapade with Coach Armstrong, which she’d heard about through Alli, who heard about it from Jenna, whom KC told.

“And last time I checked, I don’t like anyone here.”

“But what about in the past?” He held up his hand, like he was about to start ticking things off. “My little cousin, she came to visit last summer. And she was totally obsessed with you. I mean, seriously. Posters and everything. She rattled on and on about who you liked, who you were going out with, what you were wearing.” He rolled his eyes. “Lets see…We’ve got that Logan kid, Mr. Percy Jackson or whatever…and then that Allen guy from that ABC show…what was it...Pretty Little Liars? Something like that.”

“Wait,” Clare said, looking at me. “Who is he? I mean, who does he play?” I laughed, and shook my head.

“Toby.”

“Ohmigod, I love Toby!” Eli rolled his eyes, but Clare continued. “You went out with him?”

“Briefly,” I explained. “About a year ago. I’m the one who got him the PLL audition. They wanted me to play Spencer in the show, but I knew I was coming out here, so I wouldn’t have been able to do more than like, a season and a half, tops. I was seeing Keegan at the time, and they still needed someone to play Toby. And Allison. I got Keegan the audition first, and he nailed it. My friend Sasha-she was an old friend from when we lived in Long Beach-she was a little young, but she was absolutely perfect for Alli. She ended up getting it.” Clare grinned.

“I love Sasha. She does such a good job as Allison, even if she is only 14.” I shook my head.

“See, you two think so alike.” Eli smirked, and I raised my eyebrows.

“If we’re so alike, then who’s this bad boy Clare likes, eh?” Oh no. I was starting to go native. Eh? On only my fourth day! Oh god oh god. Eli leaned back in his seat, his arms stretching over his head.

“Me, of course.” I rolled my eyes, and Clare laughed, shaking her head.

“You’re so vain.”

“I know I am. It’s what makes me special.”

“Special Ed, maybe.”

“Well,” I started, before anyone got any more insulting. “If neither of you have anything to do this weekend, you’re welcome to come help me decorate my room.” Both of them stopped, and Eli sat forward.

“Us?”

“No, Eli. That random group of Juniors over there.” I pointed in the vague direction of a group of preppy girls, and Eli’s face crunched up in disgust.

“What would you need us to do?” he asked.

“I need you mostly to help move shit around. I can’t screw up my back any more than it already is. I was thinking about asking Adam to help too. And then we could all paint.”

“That would be fun,” Clare said, nodding.

“And we could all crash at my place if you wanted to,” I said, crossing my arms. “I mean, we’re gonna be up super late, probably like, three in the morning. We could just sleep on the floor.”

“Me?” Eli pointed to himself. “Sleep over at your house?” He gave me a suspicious look. “How do I know you won’t try and seduce me?” The bell rang then, and the sound drowned out mine and Clare’s laughter.

“You’ll just have to wait and see, mon Cherie!” Yeah. I’m in AP French II. I spent last fall in Paris for fashion week. So sue me.

10:35 PM

Tonight has been…odd to say the least.

The day was painfully boring, aside from English and Lunch, which are never boring with Eli, Clare and Adam. I still don’t get why all these TV shows and movie and books (including the ones I’ve been in/wrote) depict high school as such a dramatic place. The only drama I’ve witnessed so far was watching Eli try and decide which shade of black to color his nails. No, seriously. “I don’t know…Sharpie? Or Expo? Or maybe sharpie over expo?” I don’t know if he was joking just for the sake of watching Clare and I laugh, or being completely serious, but never the less he went with Sharpie (good luck getting that off any time soon, buddy).

Fiona wanted me to go shopping with her and Holly J at some place called Queen Street, but I needed to ask Adam if he wanted to come with tomorrow, so I told her we’d do it another day. Apparently, she and Holly J are actually good friends, despite the fact that she broke Declan’s heart. From what I gathered, Holy J broke it off with him while he was still at Vanderbilt Prep, one of those hotsy totsy schools in NYC (also one of the ones my mom was trying to get me to go to before I found Degrassi, solely for the fact that if we were in NYC I could still work, which was the last thing I wanted to do at the moment), and he came back to Degrassi to try and convince her to get back together with him. I would have jumped at the chance. Her…not so much.

I finally got home, and ate a snack before collapsing on the couch in a pair of soffee’s and the shirt I’d worn to school, my hair high up in a cheerleader ponytail. I was just getting to one of the last chapters of our outside required reading book, Outcasts United, when the couch vibrated. Okay, it wasn’t the couch. It was my phone. And it was a text. From Fitz.

Prom Night/Quarantine double feature on HBO in 15. You in? It took me a minute to get what he meant. Yeah, I’d told him my favorite movies were generally horror (I kept my TV turned to Chiller when I was writing, it helped me block out the sounds of my mom’s phone calls and dad’s house guests), including the fact that the two he mentioned were some of my favorites. But he wanted to watch movies with me? For four hours? Not that I was complaining or anything. Scary movies are the shit in general, but scary movies with a guy, a cute guy, well, that was something to jump at.

Where?

My house. Three doors down on your right. I’ll be waiting outside. Before I knew what I was doing, I stood up, throwing my book on the couch and heading down into my room to grab my keys and a jacket. I glanced in the mirror and fixed a few stray hairs. Wait a sec, I thought. Why am I even bothering? This guy had seen me at my worse, my pre-bed sweats and a tee, which I don’t think any guy has ever seen me in, except maybe Nathan and possibly Keegan, though I can’t be quite sure (that was after the PLL cast party…where most of the cast is legal, and everyone was getting champagne). Why was I even bothering to see if I looked good. “Mom?” I called as I walked down the hall. “Mom? You there?” She didn’t answer, and I walked in her room to see her already passed out on her bed, dressed in a pair of brown silk pajamas. Her migraine meds were sitting on the bedside table as per usual. Must have been a bad day. It was barely six and she was already in bed. I left a note saying I was going to a friends house to work on something, and I’d be back around ten. I threw on my jacket, and walked out the door, towards Fitz’s house. He was waiting outside, as promised.

“What took you so long?” he asked, a joking tone to his voice.

“Oh, gee, sorry. Would you have liked me to run?”

“You getting all hot and sweaty…yeah not something I’m entirely opposed to.” I rolled my eyes and started walking towards his front walkway. He didn’t follow.

“You coming?” He turned around, shaking his head.

“Sorry, I was expecting a slap for that comment.” I baby-punched his forearm.

“Better?”

“Much.” He lead me inside, and we stopped in the kitchen, where he pulled out his phone. “Have you already eaten?” I nodded, and sat down on a bar stool leaning against at counter. There was a tray of Lemon bars sitting in front of me, and I have to say they smelled pretty damn good. I looked around the room, taking it all in. So this was where he ate every day, huh? There were pictures scattered on the fridge in front of me, and one large one caught my eye. There were three people in it, Fitz, who look a little bit younger than he did now, and two adults; a man with dark, receding hair, much like my dads, and a woman with hair the exact same color as Fitz, with the same piercing blue eyes, I noticed once I looked back up at him.

“Your mom?” I said in a questioning tone, standing up and heading towards the fridge, examining the picture closer. I heard him move behind me.

“Yeah, that was our family picture last year.” In the picture, Fitz was wearing a pair of light khakis and a white button down, a far cry from what I’d seen him in at school, with his baggy-ish jeans and zip ups. “My mom nearly had to kill me to get those khakis on.” I let out a little laugh.

“It looks good. The white suits you. Brings out your-

I turned around, ready to continue talking, only to find myself three inches from Fitz’s face. His eyes met mine, and my head jerked back. There was something…mesmerizing about those eyes. A shade of dark sapphire that I’m pretty sure I have a dress in in the back of my closet. It’s always been one of my favorite colors, and even more so now. “…eyes.” I looked away, afraid that if I stared any longer I might not be able to stop. “Where are they?” I side stepped, and leaned against the counter. “Your parents, I mean.”

“Mom’s at some retreat with her book club, and Ben is at a meeting down town and won’t be back till late.” I looked around, grasping for something to say other than “Oh, so we’re alone?” Because I wanted this to be different. I wanted Fitz to be able to prove to me that he could be something other than the perverted guy I’d seen on Monday at lunch. And I will admit, there was a part of me at that moment that wanted to grab him and kiss him right there. And I felt bad about that. But I was waiting to see what he was going to do; to see if maybe, just maybe, he might change, or at least show some sign of wanting to change. But before I could say anything, he spoke. “We, uh, better head upstairs if we wanna catch the beginning of Prom Night.” I nodded, and followed him upstairs and into a room with glass double doors, one of which he opened for me (such a gentleman!). The room held a few rows of couches, followed by a large TV mounted to the wall with shelves of what seemed like endless amounts of DVD’s and video games. It kind of looked like my media room back home in LA…only minus the video games. Me and hand-eye coordination…yeah, not so much. “You can just grab a seat on the first row. You don’t mind if I change, do you? It’s freaking hot in here.” I laughed and shook my head, and he left through a smaller wooden door in the back of the room. Just as I was sitting down on the front couch with a sigh, he came back in. The lights were already kind of low, so I couldn’t really tell what he’d changed into. “You want a drink?” He made his way over to a fridge, and I nodded. He grabbed two Cokes, and handed me one as he came around to the couch, taking a seat. “Sorry, we didn’t have any RC.” I looked at him, my hand frozen on the tab of my drink in shock. How did he…

“You’ve been doing research,” I said cooly, and popped my drink open. He picked up the remote and turned on the TV just as the opening credits of Prom Night started.

“I find it’s a lot easier to find out things about people when they have fan sites.” I laughed.

“Which one did you go to?”

“I found quite a few, actually.” He shrugged. “But the one I found was the best and most updated was HollieAPFans.net.” I made a face.

“Ugh, they made that one when I was still using my middle name.” I shook my head and took a drink. He laughed and held his hands up in an “I don’t know,” gesture.

“I actually kinda like it. Antoinette. It fits you. It’s very…”

“Old fashioned?”

“Classy.” He smiles. “That’s hard to find. Trust me, I’ve been looking for someone like my mom for years.” I couldn’t help but smile back. I was like his mom, huh? Well, I had to be like someone’s mom, cause lord knows I’m not like mine. For the first time since he sat down, I saw what he was wearing. A very tight white tee shirt, and a pair of pajama bottoms. With something on them….

“And you made fun of me for wearing my Goofy sweats.” He looked at me, confused, and I gestured down to his pants, putting my drink on the side table and crossing my arms.

“What? Scooby Doo is cool!” I scoffed.

“So is Goofy!”

“Goody is a nerd.”

“Nerds can be cool. I’m a nerd, and I’m cool.”

“That’s a matter of opinion.” My mouth opened to retort, but all that came out was a “uh!” so I resorted to slapping him on the arm instead. He leaned away, laughing, and I realized how cute his smile was. It was wide and inviting, and the way his eyes squinted when he laughed was adorable. Wait. What am I saying? This is the same guy that smacked my ass not four days ago.

We settled into a comfortable silence, and before I knew it, the first movie was over. I spent most of it huddled in my corner of the couch, holding one of the pillows to my chest like it was bulletproof. Just because I like scary movies, doesn’t mean they don’t scare me. I stood up at the same time Fitz did, and stretched, my arms reaching over my head. I was a little worried that I had a double chin, like I usually did when I stretched, and Fitz was looking at me, but he was definitely not looking at my face. I followed his line of vision and realized that not only did my shirt and jacket, which I’d zipped in the time since the movie had started and it’d started getting colder, ride up, but my shorts were stressed against a low point on my stomach, so far down that you could see a solid half inch of my pink, lacy underwear. I hastily brought my arms down, pulling both my tee and my jacket back down as well, and I could feel my face flushing with color.

“You’re cute when you’re embarrassed. You know that?” I gave a small smile, and crossed my arms over my chest, looking around for some sign of a bathroom. In the time since the movie’d started, I’d finished my drink, and had to go really bad.

“I need to pee.”

“Thanks for sharing.” We both laughed, and he pointed to the double doors. “Out through there, second door on your right.” I went where he said, and by the time I was done and coming back to the room, he was coming back up the stairs. “I had to go too,” he said with a shy smile. It was cute. We both went back into the room, and he grabbed both cans of coke off the side tables and tossed them into a bin, before going back to the fridge. “Same?” He looked up from the fridge holding two more cans of coke, and I nodded. He came back to the couch and sat down, handing me one can and then popping his open, taking a sip, and then setting it on the table. Then, to my surprise, he pulled something small and silver out of the pocket of his pajama pants. It took me a second to realize that it was a flask. “You don’t mind, do you? I’m gonna need some of this if I wanna get through the shit special effects on Quarentine.”

“Hey!” I said, laughing. “And not at all. Actually…” He was pouring some into his Coke can, and I realized that it was Vodka. “Give it here.” I held out my hand,.

“Seriously?” He looked at me, surprised. I nodded.

“Why not? I haven’t in a while, and I might need some of that too if I’m gonna watch this.” He laughed and handed me the flask, and I took a huge gulp of the soda before filling the rest of the can with the clear liquid. I was going to hand it back to him, but then took a look at it in my hand, and decided to take another huge gulp, straight from the flask. He looked even more surprised. I felt the familiar burn going down my throat, and gave a satisfied smirk. The alcohol was already starting to kick in, a warming and numbing effect spreading through my body.

“Damn, girl.” I laughed as I spun the cap back on and handed it to him, and then settled back down into the couch, cradling the can in my hands. He did the same, and we sat like that through the first fourty or so minutes of the movie, before I finally felt like I was about to freeze to death. I was cuddled under a pillow, my hands balled up in my sleeves and my legs tucked under me, before Fitz finally said “Hollie, you’re shaking.” I laughed.

“I’m coldddd.” He looked around for a second, as if trying to find something.

“We usually have a blanket in here…Mom may have been using it in her office though. She gets cold a lot too.” He scrunched up his face, thinking, and then looked at me, his arms wide. “Come here.” He gestured for me to come over to him on the couch, and I gave him a look. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to make a move or what. “Hollie, come on. I’m not gonna bite you. But I’m warmer than you, and I don’t know how to work the new AC system we got last month.” I rolled my eyes. Of course he didn’t. I sat for a second, thinking, and looked at the screen in time to see the main character of the movie entering the apartment building where some pretty damn bad things were going to happen. I looked back at him, and he raised his eyebrows. “Well?”

“Fine.” I huffed and untucked my legs, using my hands to crawl over to where he was, his legs half way on the couch, half way not, and wedged myself between him and the back of the couch. He was right. He was a warmer than me. By like…a lot. “Holy shit. You are hot.”

“I know.” He gave a cocky little smile, and I laughed, rolling my eyes.

“Not like that,” I said, smacking him on the arm. He grabbed my hand when I did, and held it between his two for a minute.

“Geeze. You are cold.” I nodded my head, and pulled my legs up closer to me, my right shoulder just barely resting on his chest. Man, this guy had some pecks. After a minute, he let go of my right hand and gestured for me to give him my other one, which I did. He held it again, but before he let go he spread it out on his left hand, and his right when to trace the outline of my ring. “What is it?” he asked quietly. “I mean, what is it…for?”

“It’s a Claddagh ring,” I said slowly, holding my hand up. “It’s an Irish symbol of purity. My mom’s side is Irish.”

“I should have known,” Fitz said, laughing. “Doesn’t Saint Clare wear one too?” I rolled my eyes at his choice of names, and nodded.

“Yeah, she wears almost the exact same one. We got them at the same age, too. Twelve years old.” He looked at me then. Almost as if trying to read me.

“You didn’t really know what you were promising back then, though. Did you?” I shrugged.

“More or less. I got the concept. But once I started acting with bigger people, I started to understand it. I don’t really wear it out much though. Only when I’m with friends. I don’t really wanna be categorized with the Jonas Brothers.” Fitz scoffed, and I laughed with him. “And I don’t abide by it as much as I should.” He gave me another look, this time his eyebrows raising and a small smirk playing on his lips. My arm reached out and slapped him across the chest.

“Ouch!” He feigned hurt and put his hand to his chest. “I was just curious. Geeze.” I rolled my eyes, and my head sat back on the couch, watching as he still held my hand, tracing around the ring again. He let my hand down, and when he did, his own brushed against my leg, which was curled up, my thigh next to his on the couch. He blushed, and ripped his hand away quickly. “Sorry.” I smiled to myself, and laughed.

“I’m not the only one who’s cute when they’re embarrassed.” Whoa. Where did that come from? The filter I’d put on my mouth was coming down. Slowly, but still. He looked at me, his eyebrows raised.

“What was that?” He cupped his ear, and leaned towards me, his eyes looking up to the ceiling. “I’m afraid I didn’t hear you.” I laughed and shook my head, crossing my arms.

“You’re so lame.” He laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Au contraire, mon fraire.” I let out a surprised giggle, and looked at him, my eyebrows raised.

“Oh, so you speak French how?” I spoke in French then, crossing my arms tighter. He nodded, and shrugged.

“Yep. Two years, and then a trip to France last summer with my mom. She met with some French designer.” I looked at him then, surprised.

“You and your mom are really close, huh?” I said, switching back to English. Fitz smirked and nodded, glancing at the TV.

“Closer than my dad and I ever were. She…well she pretty much raised me by herself.” He looked down at his hands. “My dad…he wasn’t really around much when I was growing up. They got married really young, when she got pregnant with my sister. His dad…wasn’t the nicest guy, and didn’t help them out at all. So he pretty much followed suit when I was a kid. Kind of…nursed a bottle more than me, if you get what I mean.” I looked at his hands, fidgeting in his, lap, and for the first time, I think I kind of understood Fitz’s reasoning’s. For being who he was, I mean. The way he was around his friends.

“So that’s why you’re…well, the way you are?” He looked up.

“Meaning?”

“I mean, around your friends.”

“A jackass?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “What, so I’m just like my dad or something?” He leaned away from me then, and he looked almost….hurt.

“What? Fitz, no, that’s not what I meant.” I let out a little laugh, and he seemed even more confused. “I meant…you’re like the authority figure. You’re the one that they look up to. And you try to be someone that they think is cool.” I smiled. “It’s sweet. Even if you do go about it in some…odd ways.” He smiled then, and shrugs.

“I guess you’re right. I mean, I didn’t really have that when I was younger.” He looks back down, and the picks my hand up again, messing with the ring on my finger. “I didn’t have someone to watch be a good husband, or even a good guy in general. He didn’t teach me how to respect people-women especially-and I had to learn from watching my mom. How…nice and sweet she was to people, how she didn’t care how rude they were to her. Kind of like you.” He looked up at me, and I could feel my heart swell. I felt it go out to this guy in front of me who, at the moment, looked more like a boy than a teenager. But regardless of how sad I felt on the inside, I let out a little laugh.

“Yeah. I’m so nice to people. That’s why there’s now a bruise on your ass.”

“Well, that was self defense. I was kind of an ass.” He rubbed the back of his neck, and looked at me again. “Sor-

“I told you not to apologize again!” I thumped him across the chest, and he let out a strangled little laugh as I sat back, my head falling back over his shoulder.

“Geeze. Sorry. Just trying to be polite.” I shook my head, starting to talk.

“You really are like your mom, hu-

My head lobbed to the right, only to find myself about an inch from Fitz’s face, just like earlier. Only this time, he was looking at me differently. It wasn’t the same mesmerizing stare as downstairs. It was more of an…appreciative look. His hand still held mine, and I saw him glance down at my lips and then back into my eyes. I wanted to reach forward, wrap my hand on the back of his neck, bring those lips of his crashing down to mine. But I controlled the urge, like earlier, waiting to see what he did. And what he did do pleasantly surprised me. He didn’t make a move. He didn’t even brush my lips with his, no matter how much I wanted him to. He just gave a small smirk, turned his head, and grabbed his drink off the side table, taking a swig and then offering it to me. I took a drink, and as he looked back at me after putting the can back on the table, he gave my hand a tight, firm squeeze. This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. But he seemed to get what I was doing. Trying to see if he was worth going after, with all the shit I’d seen him do and heard about him. He was doing just what I’d hoped he would; going slow and steady, not too pushy. And that alone made my heart jump more than it would have if he’d actually kissed me.

October 16, 2010
6:55 PM
Location-bedroom
Feeling: Accomplished

So, Friday came with a bit of a nervous tingle. After Thursday night, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to look at Fitz without blushing. I don’t know why the hell all of this is happening. I mean, I don’t ever blush. Especially not when I talk to guys. But with Fitz, I felt like I was constantly red faced. It’s like how Clare was around Eli. Yeah, not a good thing.

School on Friday was generally boring as usual. Only big thing that happened was, well, after lunch.

I was sitting in the hallway, talk to Clare and leaning against the lockers. Fitz was on the opposite side of the hallway, talking to his buddies, and he kept glancing over at me around the same times I would look at him, and we kept catching each others’ eyes and I would smile. I felt like I was in some bad middle school based TV show. It was like being 13 all over again. And that’s when it happened. Eli and Adam came runnining down the hall, Adam first. Eli tossed him a football (WTF? Eli and footballs? Yeah, don’t really mix), and it came this close to hitting Fitz in the head. As soon as Fitz turned around to yell at Eli, Eli ran up to him, grabbed his waistband, and pulled. Hard. His pants came down with a whoosh, and I felt my face heating up. Clare had turned around by then, and was steadily glaring at Eli. Before anyone could see anything embarrassing, Fitz turned around, bending down to grasp at his pants. And I got a good view of his bare, naked ass.

“Holy crap,” I whispered under my breath. “There really is a bruise.” And there really was. A bruise in the shape of a boot toe. Clare gave me a look, and turned to look and see what I was staring at.

“Hollie!” She grabbed my face and turned it around, just as Fitz pulled both his pants and (blue, polka dotted) boxers up. I laughed, and gave Clare a sarcastic look just as Eli and Adam walked up to us, Eli wearing a sarcastic smirk. “Eli, what the heck was that?” Before he could answer, A hand turned Eli around and pushed him back between us, pinning him against the locker. It was Fitz.

“Yeah, Goldsworthy. Mind explaining?” He wore the same sarcastic look as Eli, and my eyes widened as I looked at Clare over Fitz’s arm.

“Just payback.” Fitz raised his eyebrows, looking confused. “For Monday? You know. When you sexually harassed my friend?” He gave me a pointed look, and my eyes bugged even further.

“Eli!” I put one hand on Fitz’s chest, the other on Eli’s, and tried to shove them apart. But Fitz wouldn’t move. And for the first time, I noticed that most of the people in the hall had turned to look at us. I gave Fitz a strained look, trying to plead with him through my eyes. It took him a minute, but he seemed to get the message and let go of Eli slowly, crossing his arms. I turned to Eli, one arm crossing over my chest, grabbing the other arm as my finger wagged up and down. “You, I can fight my own battles. No invasion of personal space, and no inducing public embarrassment.” He rolled his eyes, but before he could talk, I turned back around, facing Fitz this time. “And you.” I put on my most seething tone, and my finger poked at his chest before wagging at him. God, those muscles. “I suggest you get the fuck out of here.”

“Yes, mom.” He rolled his eyes, and his friends, flanking on either side of him, laughed. He made it sound like an insult, being compared to his mother. But less than twenty four hours before, I’m pretty sure it was a good thing. I raised my eyebrows, and crossed my arms.

“Unless you want a bruise on your other ass cheek from this foot.” I raised my left foot, the one I hadn’t kick him with, and he stepped back. I was being serious too. I may have liked the guy, but you fuck with my friends and you fuck with me. He seemed to realize this, and after a sneer at both of us, he gave his friends a look and a nod, and they headed back down the hallway. He turned to look at me as they walked, and gave me a little smirk. I rolled my eyes, but smirked back.

“Jesus,” Adam said, crossing his arms. “He’s never backed down that fast before. You should be like, a dominatrix or something.” Clare, Eli and I all gave him looks. “What? I meant you’re good at telling people what to do.” I let out a snort, and Clare shook her head, laughing too. Eli just rolled his eyes.

I did berate him at lunch for what he did. I mean, Fitz was no angel. But if he hadn’t turned around…Lord know the amount of blurred pics that would have ended up on the Anti-Grapevine. Clare was super pissed too, but I get the feeling she was actually happy Eli had stood up for me. The public display of Fitz’s behind, not so much.

As soon as school let out, Clare and I got in my car, and we drove to her house to grab her clothes and everything. She, Adam and Eli were crashing at the house with me, but they had to go back to their places before coming over. When Clare ran back out of her house, carrying a small bag behind her, there was screaming coming from inside. She gave me an embarrassed smile, and I shrugged back, showing that her parents’ fighting didn’t really bother me. She’d already explained that her parents were trying to work things out as an alternative to divorce, so I could get how testy things were.

By the time we got back to the house, my mom was gone to her facial appointment downtown. We let ourselves in, and hung out till the guys got there, only about twenty minutes later. Eli parked in the street, so we could pull out in my car to go get the paint and supplies, and then Adam was dropped off by his mom, who was on her way to pick up Drew from football practice. Adam’s mom seemed sweet as can be…even if she was a little, confused as to why her son was a) staying over at a girls house and b) why said girl was an international superstar. But I explained the situation to her (the painting bit, not the superstar part), and after the use of my parent-charming powers, she seemed to be fine and dandy.

Once everyone’s stuff was inside, we piled in my car (Clare and I in the front, much to Eli’s protests and calls of Shotgun) and drove to the resident hardware store. I gave the woman at the paint center a swatch of the colors I wanted, and while the colors were being mixed, we walked around and picked up what else we needed. You know. Rollers. Tarps. The usual. We even got into a pretty epic elongated roller Light Saber fight. Well, Eli, Adam and I did. Clare sat by and watched. But we had the sound effects and everything. I felt like a kid again.

By the time we had everything, the paint was done, and we loaded it all up and got back home in time to see Mom parking in the driveway. She smiled when she saw us, but her eyes looked confused. “Hey mom!” I said slowly, closing my car door. “We’re just getting the stuff in to paint tonight.” She still looked confused. “Remember. I asked you a few days ago?” She shakes her head, but smiles.

“My memory these days. Everythings so busy.” Bull. She must have taken her meds and not told me. She always forgets things I tell her after she’s taken her meds.

“This is Clare, Eli and Adam. My friends from school.” They all shake her outstretched hand, and she smiles at all of them, and then looks at me.

“Will your other friend be coming too?” she asked, glancing down the street behind us. “Mark?” My eyes widen, and I give her a stressed look. Oh god. Oh God.

“Uh. No. Mark won’t be coming tonight.” Before she can say anything else, or the others can give me another confused look, I went to the back of the car and popped the trunk open. Clare came around and started picking up bags of trays, and raises her eyebrows at me.

“Mark?” I gave an awkward laugh and grabbed a bucket of paint and a bag of rollers, as Adam and Eli come around.

“Aha. Yeah…Fitz kind of lives down the street. He came by to bring a plate of cookies from his mom.” I rolled my eyes, as if annoyed.

“He lives down the street?” Adam asked, shocked.

“Yeah, I was surprised too.” We got everything in and downstairs to the room. It’s not actually a room as much as it is a lounge with a separate living area. From what we’d been told, it used to be the basement, but the owners before us had renovated it into a little sub-apartment to rent out. There was a lounge with a TV set up, a HUGE bedroom (almost bigger than the master upstairs), a full bathroom with shower and bath, and even a little kitchenette and dining table, neither of which I’d used for anything more than homework or to store diet cokes (in the mini fridge hidden under the bar).

“Holy crap,” Eli said as he walked around, peeking into my room which I’d hurredly cleaned last night when I got out of the shower. “We’ve gotta paint all of this?” He and Clare both gave me looks, and I laughed and shook my head.

“Just the bedroom. I like the green colors in the bathroom, they’re very…calming. And this lavender color out here is perfect.” I gesture to the light walls, which made the room seem…bigger. “But the color of the room…yeah, no.” The room was painted a dark, sandy color. Not my thing.

The first thing we did was pull all the furniture out of the room and into the little non-descript area near the stairs, so we still had room to hang out later in the night. Most of my stuff was still in boxes, as I’d had so much shit to do this last week that I hadn’t really had a chance to unpack it. We’d only been in the house for a little under two weeks.

Clare helped me tape off the doors and edging, lat the tarps down and take all the outlet covers off, while Eli and Adam got the paint set up with the rollers and everything. I put on a mix playlist I’d made Thursday night, and Eli groaned at almost every song that came on. Clare, Adam and I just laughed. We all started painting one wall with the base primer, and Clare and I started in the same corner so we could talk.

“How long are you guys planning on staying here, then?” she asked. “If you’re painting and all.” I shrugged and traced the outside of an outlet with a paint brush.

“At least till the end of the school year. My dad and I have been wanting to invest in a property in TO for a while, though, so this came as a good opportunity. Mom’s having some painters come and do the rest of the house next month. I got to pick out all the furniature and colors, though, since I’m partially paying for it.” I gestured around the room. “I get to do this stuff the way I want. The basement is mine to use. I’m planning on turning a room upstairs into a little craft room and studio though. If I wind up coming back.” She gave a little smile, and turned to keep painting.

“Well I hope you stay. Or at least come back to visit.”

“And miss out on Eli’s sarcastic banter and another chance to kick Fitz’s ass? Never.”

It only took us about half an hour to finish the base coat, and by then we were all starving. We ordered a pizza from the nearest place, and by the time it got there we were all trying to peal dry paint off our legs (or in Eli and Adam’s case, arms). None of us looked that great. Clare and I were dressed in our oldest shorts and tees, coupled with baseball caps to avoid colored hair, and the guys wore caps too, but with old sweat pants (Eli’s were black, of course), and tee shirts. I answered the door in my cap and shorts, and even though I looked nothing like myself, the stare of the teenager delivering the pizza as I handed him the money was pretty reassuring that I was easy to recognize. We ate quickly, and by the time we were done, all of us still sipping our drinks, Adam was sprawled out on the tacky tweed couch left by the previous owner, his stomach protruding good two inches.

“God. I’m so full. My stomach hurts.” I laughed and poked him in the stomach, and he grasped at it before sticking his tongue out at me.

“Oh, yeah, real mature.” We went back to work, then, with the big rollers and blue paint, careful not to get anything on the desk. About half way through, Adam announced he had to pee (I high fived him for being as up-front about it as I am), and a few minutes later, my phone buzzed on the floor a few feet away. It was a text.

Adam: Emergency. Help!

My eyebrows knit together as I put the roller down and tucked my phone in my waistband, saying I was going to get another diet coke. I was confused as to what type of “emergency” Adam had. That involved me helping. I went straight to the bathroom and knocked on the door. “Adam?” I asked slowly. “It’s Hollie.” The door opened just a tiny bit, and I saw Adam’s eyes through it. They looked…shocked.

“Uh…hi.” He blushed, embarrassed for reasons unknown at the time, and looked at me. “Can I borrow some, uh…sweats?” I blinked, confused.

“What? Why?” His eyes shifted, and then looked down as he sighed, and then opened the door.

“Hollie, there’s something…something you need to know.” He leaned back on the countertop, one hand going to his forehead and the other on the counter behind him. “I haven’t told anyone this. Not even Clare and Eli.” He looked up from under his hand, and I raise my eyebrows, making a gesture for him to go on. “I…I don’t even know how to word this.” He sighs again, and shakes his head. “I’m a guy. You know that, right?” I gave him an obvious stare, and he nods. “Right. Well, I was born…I was born a girl.” I didn’t speak for a minute. Yeah, seriously. That’s what he said. I’m not bullshitting you.

Granted, I’d met transgender before. There were plenty of them in LA. Hell, my favorite store in Venice beach was run by an awesome trans couple who absolutely adore me. But Adam…he didn’t really strike me as the transgender type. I mean, yeah, I’d noticed his voice was a little high. And maybe he did go a little over the top trying to dress like your average guy. But I never suspected until then.

“Uhm, wow.” I blinked a few times, trying to process. “Okay. So you’re…a transgender. That’s…cool.” I gave a small smile, and he looked confused.

“Seriously? That’s it?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah. Why not? It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. I mean, you’re a guy between the ears, right?” He nodded, and I shrugged. “Then it doesn’t really matter to me.” He smiled back, and I leaned against the wall behind me. “So what’s this about needing some sweats?” His face colored, and I gave him a look. He slowly turned around to show me the small, dark red stain on the back of his pants. “Ohhh.”

He hurriedly explained that he wasn’t supposed to start for another week, but I just waved it off and grabbed him a pad and a pair of sweats from the bottom of my pajama drawer. I think they were Keegan’s or something. Anyways, he changed and came back to the room, telling Clare and Eli that the sink had gone on the fritz and it looked like he’d peed himself. Before I knew it we were done painting. As Eli and Adam poured the left over paint back into the tins, Clare and I stat on the floor in the middle of the room, where there was no paint, and looked around. We’d done a pretty damn good job, if I do say so myself. The walls were a really pretty Tiffany Blue color, and then the little alcove where my desk went was a pale, white color from Disney called Once Upon a Time. It made me feel little again, but I liked having a piece of my childhood (and some of my teen years, since I gave four good years to that damn channel) with me here at the house.

By the time we were done, it was almost four in the morning. Yeah, it’d taken us that long to paint my room. It was a big room. Clare and I excused ourselves and both changed in the bathroom (what, like I haven’t changed in front of girls before? Three years ago, and I wasn’t running a runway show, I was walking it), while Adam decided to just sleep in his sweats and tee and Eli changed into a different pair of sweats. Clare was in an adorable pair of pink shorts with hearts on them and a black tee, while I wore a similar colored V neck and my favorite pair of lavender pajama shorts. We got back out into the living room, where we were sleeping, and Eli let out a low whistle.

“Who knew Saint Clare had such legs!” he said, laughing. Clare blushed and grabbed a pillow of the couch, crossing her legs and pulling it tight to her chest. I’d been in the same position the night before, only then I’d been three feet away from an extremely hot guy. She was half way across the room from Eli, and yet she felt like she needed protection.

“And you, Peterson,” Adam started. “you’ve actually got a butt!” I laughed and walked around to the kitchenette, where I had extra blankets and pillows stashed under the cupboards that were supposed to hold the cutlery. I tossed everyone a pillow, and then I pulled out a few big blankets. The living room wasn’t wide enough to have blocks of two and two, like I’d thought we would, so we ended up all laying out next to each other, with Adam and Clare on either side of me, and then Eli next to Clare. We set the blankets out under us, and we went to sleep after a few whispered discussions. Clare and I stayed up the latest, and I teased her about how cute Eli looked getting his handyman-ness on with all of the painting and such.

When I woke up, my eyes fluttered open, and I was about a foot away from a sleeping, drooling Adam. I swear, it’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen. His mouth hung open, and he was snoring lightly. I turned onto my back, and stared at the ceiling for a minute, blinking. Shit, I thought to myself. I slept in my contacts. I got them back in the right places and slowly stood up out of my make shift bed, and turned around as I threw my hair in a ponytail. And what I saw made me stop mid twist. I’d looked down at the other people laying on the floor, to see Clare and Eli. Together. Cuddling. Eli’s arm was wrapped around Clare’s waist, and her back was against his chest. His chin was resting on her shoulder, and the blankets were pulled up to cover only past their hips. And then Eli muttered something under his breath. I didn’t catch it, but luckily (or unluckily, depending on who you were in this situation), he said it again. “Clare…” What. The. Fuck.

The only thing that could have made the situation worse would have been if they’d been naked. Which, luckily for me, they weren’t. So, instead, I just shrugged and went upstairs to start breakfast. By the time I was pulling the eggs off the stove, Clare had made her way upstairs, her hair a complete mess, but looking almost…euphoric.

“Do I even want to know how you two ended up like that?” Yeah. That was the first thing I said to her. She rubbed her nose and sat blearily at the bar in front of me, shaking her head.

“All I can remember is being really cold.” I laughed and shook my head, pouring the eggs onto a big plate.

“That’s how it always starts. Well, I can tell you one good thing.” She looked up, intrigued. “He’s definitely into you.”

“How do you know?” Her eyebrows knit together.

“He said your name in his sleep. At least twice.” Her eyes widened, but before she could say anything, the door to the basement opened and a very sleepy looking Adam tramped in, followed by an equally as tired looking Eli. I don’t know why they were so tired. It was almost one in the afternoon. They sat on either side of Clare on the bar, and Clare couldn’t look at Eli. It was pretty damn funny. I took one look at Adam, and grabbed a paper towel and handed it to him. “You’ve got a bit of drool…just there…” I pointed to the side of his face, and he crossed his eyes as if trying to look. That was the beginning of the morning.

It ended with Clare having to leave first. As I expected, Eli offered to wait outside with her, so Clare got dressed and grabbed her stuff from downstairs and they waited for her mom out front. Adam and I went back downstairs, and while he headed for the couch and turned on the TV, I went straight for the wall behind the kitchenette. “Uh, what are you doing?” he asked as I stood on the trunk near the counter.

“There’s a window here…behind this curtain…if I can just…” I pulled the latch, and the window slowly popped open. Adam just stared at me. “We can see what they’re saying.” Without hesitation, he jumped up and ran over to where I was, and then stood on the trunk next to me. We both looked out just in time to see them step out on the porch. They sat there for a few minutes, and I could practically hear the awkwardness in the air.

“So…” Clare started. “Thanks for keeping me warm last night.” I saw her give him an awkward smile, and I felt myself grinning. This was adorable.

“It wasn’t a problem,” Eli said, leaning back. “Or an inconvenience, really.” Clare turned to him, to where I couldn’t see, but I could practically hear her roll her eyes.

“I, uh…I think Hollie saw us this morning. When she woke up, I mean.”

“And?” But that’s the last thing either of them said, because just then I saw the tires of Clare’s mom’s car in front of the driveway, and Clare gave a small wave to Eli before he walked away. When he came back in, he gave us a look where we sat on the couch, trying to act as normal as possible. Like we hadn’t just eavesdropped.

October 18, 2010
8:25 PM
Location-MI Lab
Feeling: wiped

So the weekend was relatively entertaining. After Adam and Eli left, Fiona texted to ask if I wanted to go shopping. Since I’d bailed earlier last week, I agreed, and met her at the Dot to walk down to Queen Street. They actually have some decent shops. Apparently it’s like, the big place to go in TO for the high end stuff. I did wind up getting a pair of adorable Jimmy Choo flats, which I plan on wearing tomorrow with a top I got at Forever 21 back in LA.

Sunday night was fun too, because Fiona texted again asking if I wanted to come over for dinner. She and Declan were having a night in, and then were going to watch the French Film marathon on TCM. I was game, but by the time I got there they were already seated on the couch. Fi offered me some Sushi, which I politely declined (1-I hate fish, 2-I’d eaten before I came over), and then she gestured to the open space between her and Declan.

I spent most of the movie exchanging glances with Declan. Was it just me, or was that cocky smirk of his laced with something other than mild curiosity?

Anywho, there’s going to be a dance at school! In two weeks, they’re holding a Halloween Bash at this little club thing they have above The Dot. It’s literally called Above the Dot. I giggled when Clare told me what it was a few minutes ago, when they announced it. Apparently Sav, Alli’s brother and the president, is DJing. I might have to drop by later and give him a few suggestions as to what to play…

October 24, 2010
3:45 PM
Location-Bedroom
Feeling: Tired

What. A. Bitch.

Fucking Bianca decided it would be super fun to expose Adam in the middle of the hallway. I thought the poor guy was going to cry. The only upside to this whole thing was that he came out to Clare and Eli. Finally. Of course, I was eating with Fiona at The Dot, so I didn’t get to see their facial expressions. But Adam said it went well.

In other news, the furniture for downstairs finally came. And I got rid of that God awful couch! I’m still texting Fitz as much as ever, though. Even after that little stunt Eli pulled last week, he still maintains that he doesn’t hate them. We even hung out again on Monday night. He came over and we played cards on the kitchen table, using Oreos as chips. He gave me a nickname, too. Doe eyes. I know, I didn’t get it at first. But he said that when my eyes go all wide I look like a doe. I was confused as to how this was a good thing, but he said it was cute. Whatever floats your boat, dude.

I think he’s honestly starting to change a bit. I mean, he hasn’t really done anything around me that would make me suspsicious that he’s this horrible guy. Though, when we were hanging out downstairs yesterday, he pulled a pack of cigs out of his pocket and asked if I minded if he smoked. I didn’t really, but the idea of him smoking kind of grossed me out. I’d made it a point not to date guys who smoked; they always smelled, and I wasn’t going anywhere near someone with fur on their tongue, which I’d learned early on could happen when you smoke too much. He offered me one, and I declined.

“Those things’ll kill you, you know that, right?”

“Your friend goth boy said the same thing to me,” he said with a laugh, and then took a puff, blowing it out. I’d opened the small window in the room and turned a fan on so I wouldn’t have to smell it.

“He’s smart like that.” I smiled, and then gave him a look. “It’s a pretty bad habit, though.”

I really hope he doesn’t flip a shit cause of Adam. I mean, really. All he did was hit on Bianca. Granted, most guys who hit on Bianca just epically fail, from what Fitz and Eli have both told me. But she was just a plain bitch to Adam. Why do she and Fitz have to be friends? I mean, really.

October 25, 2010
1:43 PM
Location-F&M
Feeling: Pissed

No. He. Didn’t.