Punch-Drunk Love

I sat, almost awkwardly, on the old couch in the Gomez’s garage, as the band readied for practice. It had been four days since I had spilled my secret to Stephen, and he didn’t fail to remind me every day that I had less and less time to tell Brian what really happened. I was so interested in pulling pieces of lint from my leggings that I didn’t even here my name being said repeatedly.

“SADIE!” John finally yelled right in front of me.

“Holy shit,” I said clutching my chest, “Why did you just scream in my face, John?”

“We’ve been trying to get your attention for a while,” he said plucking at the strings.

“Oh, sorry,” I said smoothing out my tank-top dress, “What did y’all need?”

“We were just making sure that you can do merch for us next Thursday,” Jess said piping up from behind her drum kit.

“Yeah, I planned on it,” I said with a smile.

They all gave nods of thanks, minus Stephen, before announcing they were going to have a food and drink break. I declined to join them, and tucked my legs underneath me as they all filed into the house one-by-one. Josh lingered behind, and I looked everywhere but his eyes as he stared at me.

“Can I help you with something?” I said finally looking up to him.

“Just figured you’d be needing this he said reaching his hand into his pocket and tossing something at me.

I grabbed the ball of fabric, and let my jaw drop as my eyes came in contact with the purple thong that I had lost the night I slept with him. I quickly balled it up in my hand, before standing up and getting in his face.

“Are you out of your fucking mind Josh,” I said in a harsh whisper, “Why would you do that where anybody could plainly see?”

“So you haven’t told Brian yet, I’m assuming,” he said with a small smirk on his face, “You should probably tell him sooner or later Sadie.”

“What I do and when I do it, is my business,” I said jabbing my finger into his chest.

“Like how you did me the other night,” Josh said with an evil grin.

“Fuck you Josh,” I said slapping him across the face.

“Already did,” he said ducking my punch.

I opened my mouth to say something, but the door opened, causing me to back away from Josh. We both whipped our heads, and saw Stephen giving us both stern looks, and approaching us. I hid my underwear behind my back and shifted awkwardly under his stare.

“You better have not touched each other at all,” Stephen said glaring mainly at me, “Otherwise, our deal is off Sadie.”

“My hand only touched his cheek while I slapped him,” I said with a hard look, “And it wasn’t only my fault, Stephen. Josh was there too, and had just as much say in what happened.”

“I’m mad at both of you, believe me,” Stephen said lowly, “But we all know Josh is a whore. You, on the other hand, I thought you were better than that.”

“So you’re saying I’m also a whore, and that it’s mainly my fault,” I said angrily, “I can’t believe this, or you for that matter. What happened to being best friends, and supporting each other no matter what?”

“That went out the door when you could possibly ruin my dreams,” he said staring me in the eyes.

I bit my lip, fighting back tears of anger and hurt, and looked down shamefully. The three of us still stood in an awkward circle and shifted away from each other as the band walked back into the garage. They shot us worried glances, but we all smiled, and I retook my seat on the couch.

I watched them practice, and let out a sigh of relief when Miranda arrived. I felt my stomach knot up as her and John shared a moment, and internally knew that I was losing my chances at those with Brian. When she took a seat next to me, I quickly started making idle chat with her, and tried my best to block out the music that was slowly drowning us out.

“I saw we play a new cover, just for shits and gigs,” Josh said once their normal practice had finished.

“They’re always fun, any suggestions?” Brian asked as he came over and sat next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders.

“I always felt that Scotty Doesn’t Know would be a fun song to cover,” Josh said with a sly look at me, “And it’s pretty simple.”

Josh started the initial riff, obviously playing from memory, and the rest of the band started in. Brian stayed by me, and let John and Josh jokingly sing the song, while messing around. I cuddled into Brian, ignoring the double meaning in the song, and rested my knees against his thigh while playing with a button on his shirt. I felt him kiss the top of my head, and let his lips linger, and I closed my eyes taking in a deep breath. I opened my eyes and turned my head up to meet his eyes, where he was staring at me lovingly.

“I love you so much Sadie,” he said pecking my lips.

“I love you too Brian,” I said returning the kiss, “So damn much.”

“I’m glad that this song will never pertain to our relationship in any way,” he said into my ear, causing me to cringe, but I covered it up with a shiver, “You okay?”

“I have to go,” I said abruptly standing up, “I’ll see you guys later.”

I pulled my sunglasses over my eyes quickly as I walked into the spring air, and could hear them all asking each other what had me leaving. I blocked out their voices, and felt the concrete burning my feet. I cursed myself for forgetting my flip-flops on the garage floor, and quickened my pace to my front door.

I was fumbling with the garage keypad when I heard the footsteps approaching me. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Miranda running across the yard, and I walked into the garage, pressing the button by the door to close it. Miranda was quicker than me though, and was able to slide under the door as it was closing.

“I forgot you were a ninja or something,” I said shaking my head and walking into the house, “Well, now that you caught me, what do you need.”

“How about an explanation on why you rushed out of practice leaving Brian bewildered,” she said following me into the living room, “He’s extremely confused right now, and the rest of the band is with him on that.”

“I just didn’t feel well,” I lied quickly, “It was too hot in that garage, I needed to come lay down so I wouldn’t vomit.”

“Okay, now that you have your silly story out of the way, tell me what really happened,” Miranda said sitting on the edge of the couch, “What did Brian say that made you leave so quickly?”

I looked down, shamefully, and contemplated on telling Miranda the truth. She was my best friend, and I told her everything. However, Stephen had proven to me that best friends don’t always stand by you in sticky situations, and I couldn’t stand losing another friend over one mistake. I looked up at Miranda through my lashes, and saw she was staring at me with concern covering her features. I decided to throw caution to the wind, figuring I had nothing else to lose, and opened my mouth to tell her my secret.

“If I tell you, you can’t tell anyone, okay?” I said looking her dead in the eyes, “Especially not John.”

“I swear on my life I won’t,” she said sticking out her pinky, “Pinky promise.”

I smiled half-heartedly and latched our pinkies together before inhaling and finding the words to say.

“I slept with Josh at the party on Saturday,” I said instantly looking down, “Stephen is the only other person that knows, which is why he isn’t talking to me. He’s giving me until Sunday to tell Brian, and if I don’t he’s going to.

“While the band went inside before you got there, Josh stupidly threw my underwear at me, and kept throwing low blows towards me. I slapped him, and as I was about to slap him again, Stephen came out and interrupted us. He basically told me that I was the one mainly at fault, and I know that our friendship is now ruined.

“What am I going to do Miranda? I’ve lost my best friend, and I know Brian isn’t far from being lost.”

I buried my face in my hands once I was done ranting, and let a few tears slip out. I heard Miranda shift against the leather furniture as she slid off and sat on the floor in front of me. She placed a soothing hand on my shoulder, in an attempt to calm me down, and said the best thing I could hear.

“It’s not your fault completely, Sadie,” she said still rubbing my shoulder, “Josh is just as responsible, because he didn’t stop it either. I won’t stop being your friend over this, because lets face it, everyone makes mistakes. And you didn’t hurt me in anyway, so you’re still my best friend.”

I felt her wrap her arms around me in a hug, and I returned it while telling her thank you. She assured me that it was no problem, and that’s what best friends did, and I couldn’t help but to genuinely smile for the first time all day. She suggested that we watch movies and eat the ice cream I had stashed in the freezer so I could keep my mind off of the events that had just happened. I happily obliged and sent her to grab the ice cream while I put in a movie and turning everything to the correct inputs. When she returned with the carton of Rocky Road, we sat with it between us, and dug in while staying fixated on the movie.