Punch-Drunk Love

Once I had pulled myself up from the floor, I instantly went down to the basement to get my suitcases. I figured I needed about 4, so I lugged them up the stairs individually, banging my shins multiple times. I let out a huff as I placed the final suitcase in my room, and decided to start on my closet first.

I packed all of my favorite clothes into the first two cases, and figured I could have the other clothes shipped out to me once I was settled in. I put my shoes in one of the duffle bags I kept in my closet, and once I was satisfied I moved the bags into my room by the futon.

I picked up my phone, and scrolled through the contacts to find the one person who would be my saving grace. I pressed my blackberry to my ear after hitting send, and listened to her ringback tone waiting for her to answer.

“Hello?” she asked with a slur in her voice.

“Katie? It’s Sadie,” I said as I sat on my bed.

“Sadie! Oh my god, I miss you girl,” she said before letting out a giggle, “You haven’t called me in forever! Is everything okay?”

“Sort of,” I said nervously pulling at my hair, “I actually have a huge favor to ask of you.”

“I still owe you for a few things, so lay it on me,” she said as I heard a door open and close.

“Well, I need a change of scenery, and I was hoping that you would let me stay with you up in Denver for a little while,” I said hoping she would say yes.

“You didn’t have to ask!” she said sounding extremely excited, “My roommate actually just moved out today, so it’s perfect. There’ll be an extra room in the apartment! When are you planning on coming up?”

“My mom should be home tonight, so I’ll probably leave in the morning,” I said as I heard the garage door open, “Will that work?”

“Sounds perfect!” she said excitedly, “I cannot wait for you to come up! What’s the reason?”

“It’s a long story, I’ll explain when I get there,” I said standing up from my bed, “But hey, my mom just got home, so I’m going to tell her the news. I’ll text you my ETA tomorrow, okay?”

“Alright girly, see you soon!” she said with another giggle, “I love you!”

“I love you too, Katie. Don’t get too drunk,” I said before hanging up and trudging down the stairs.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw my necklace on the rug, and quickly shoved it into the pocket on the front of my dress. My mom had just made her way into the living room, and I grabbed her in a tight hug. She returned it, confused by my affection, but softened her face as she saw my bloodshot eyes.

“Honey, what happened?” she asked leading me to sit on the couch.

“Brian broke up with me,” I said scratching my arm nervously, “And, uhm, I think it would be best for me to get out of this state. I need a change, honestly.”

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry,” she said placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, “Are you going to move in with your father in LA, I’m sure he’d be thrilled, I know he missed you.”

“No, that’s too close,” I said shaking my head, “I called Katie, and she said she had a room for me to stay in at her apartment in Denver. Please don’t be mad.”

“I could never be mad at you for wanting to move. I’ll miss you, but I know that you’ve always wanted to get out of Phoenix,” she said with a warm smile, “When were you planning on leaving?”

“Tomorrow, I already started packing,” I said with a small smile back, “I’m sorry this is so sudden.”

“You’re 18, you can make your own choices,” she said with a shrug, “Your father and I will still put money in your account every week, but you should try to get a job up there, even if it is part time. What about school?”

“I planned on it, I’ll need something to keep me occupied,” I said with a nod, “And I figured I’d go to CU Denver, I was accepted there anyways, so I can just start in the fall.”

“You know that I’ll always support you. Do you need some help packing? I think I have some space bags in my closet,” she said scratching her head in thought.

“That’d be perfect for my bedding,” I said standing up, “Thank you for being so understanding, Mom.”

She just smiled, and we both made our way upstairs so I could finish packing. She joined me in my room a few minutes later with the vacuum and some space bags, before helping me fold all of my bedding up. She continued to help me, even when the space bags were filled and stowed on my futon, until my room was completely packed up.

When we were finally done around 10:30, I called Miranda over, knowing I had to break the news to her. She answered the phone after one ring, and told me she’d be right over without me even having to say anything. I tossed my phone onto my now bare mattress and flopped back against it while waiting for her to arrive. As my back hit the mattress, the necklace I had stowed in my pocket slid down onto my chest, and I lightly picked it up. I slid the heart charm off of the broken chain, and unhooked my dog tag before sliding it onto the thin chain.

“Sadie, please tell me you aren’t leaving,” Miranda said as soon as she walked into my room and saw the boxes, “You can’t leave! You’re my best friend!”

“I have to Mir, it’s for the best,” I said with a frown etched onto my face, “I can’t stay around the guys, it will just tear me apart.”

I watched Miranda’s lip quiver, and the tears sprouting in her eyes. As the first tear slipped onto her cheeks, I grabbed her in a hug, and felt the tears gathering in my eyes.

“Miranda, don’t cry, please,” I said sniffling with her, “I won’t be gone forever, and you can come visit! I’ll even pay for your flight!”

“But you’re my best friend,” she said as she sobbed, “What will I do without you? Sure, there’s Jess, but when they guys go on tour, I’ll be left all alone! At least you didn’t go on every tour with them. Where are you even going? I couldn’t let you pay for plane tickets, that’s too much.”

“You’ll probably take my place as merch girl, the whole band is in love with you,” I said as I patted her back in a comforting manner, “I’m going to live with my cousin up in Denver, she moved up there when we were freshman. And I will pay for the ticket, and you will come visit me. Just don’t tell the guys or Jess where I am. I want to escape them, for now at least.”

“You have my word,” she said finally separating from the hug, “When do you leave?”

“Once I get everything in my car, I want to start on the drive,” I said wiping my cheeks dry, “I don’t want to risk having to deal with anymore drama from the guys.”

She gave me a small smile of understanding, and hesitantly offered to help me pack up my car. I accepted with a sad smile of my own, and we both grabbed a few items and trudged down the stairs that seemed so long. It took about five trips all together, and when we walked into my room after the last bags had been taken out, I sighed at how empty it felt. The walls were mostly blank, and every surface that had held my belongings was now barren. As we sat back on my bed for the final time, I nervously pulled my hair into a messy bun.

“I’m going to miss you Miranda,” I said as I fixed my bangs, “When I’m gone, please keep an eye on the guys for me. I know they may hate me right now, but I still care for them so much. Don’t let anyone hurt them, especially Brian, he deserves the best.”

“I will, I promise,” she said quietly, “So I guess this is goodbye?”

“It’s see you later,” I said standing up, “I guess it’s now or never.”

We both walked down the stairs, and joined my mom in the living room. She had tears in her eyes, and I hugged her for what seemed like an enternity. I made her promise not to tell the Gomez’s where I had gone, and once she agreed, the three of us walked out to my car sitting in the driveway. I fiddled with my keys absent mindedly as we stood awkwardly in the warm Spring air. I was so distracted that I didn’t even hear the footsteps approaching us, and only acknowledged the knew person when they pulled me into a hug.

I wrapped my arms around his lanky frame, and he tightly wrapped me into a hug as well. As we pulled apart, I kissed his cheek softly and placed my hand against his cheek. He barely smiled, knowing I was leaving, and I tried my hardest to return the smile.

“I’ll miss you Johnny boy,” I said quietly, “You’ll always be like my brother.”

“Til death,” he said sadly reciting the words etched on the dog tags we shared, “Will you at least tell me where you’re heading.”

“I can’t risk it,” I said with a shake of my head, “I know I’ll see you in the future, but for now it’s see you later.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” he said pulling me into another hug, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said softly, “Take care of Miranda, okay? And don’t hurt her, because I will come back here to kick your ass.”

He lightly laughed, and wrapped his arm around Miranda’s shoulder protectively as she leaned into him. I pulled them both into one final hug, and tried my hardest to keep my tears from spilling over my lids. Once I detached myself from their arms, leaving Miranda crying into John’s shirt, I hugged my mom for the last time in a long time.

I quickly climbed into my car, knowing I would lose it if I stood around any longer, and slowly backed out of the driveway. As I pulled away from my house, I saw Stephen standing on his porch watching the car. He raised his hand in an effort to wave, and I sadly smiled as I focused my eyes back to the road and drove away from the life I had lived for the past 18 years.