Left With A Vacant Smile

I looked at my blank history book, Henry the 8th just didn't seem fun to write about. He was fat, a man slag and kept having daughters, what else is to be said? I sighed, putting down my pen and reaching for a drink. This was going to be a long night, spent on homework, homework and more homework. I'd only been in this place for a few weeks and the homework had mounted into an Everest size pile.

I took a break, reaching for my ipod in my blazer pocket, a small piece of paper fell out. It was Jake's number. I starred at it on the flower, black ink starring back. What was I supposed to do with it? Would it be weird if I called him now? I shook my head, put it back in my pocket and went back to my homework.

Or that is what I'd wished I'd done. I picked it up, putting the numbers into my phone before hitting dial. It rang, and rang and rang -

"Hello?" I heard his voice, soft and bored over the speaker, I panicked, what was I meant to say now?

"Oh hey Jake, It's Sarah, from school"

"Hey Sarah, what's up?" He sounded so calm which made me even more nervous. There was no point to this call. I should just hang up. But that would be stupid, he'd think I was a weirdo and ignore me.

"Is everything okay?" I heard him again,

"Oh yeah, could you show me around? I haven't really seen much of this place, and I thought maybe you could show me?" I mentally slapped myself, that was all I could come up with?

"Sure, meet me outside Berny's Fish and Chips in ten minutes?" I heard him laughing, but in a kind way

"Sure, bye" I hung up quickly, running to my wardrobe and finding something decent to wear. I found a black dress with little purple and white flowers on and quickly changed. The weather was warm enough for this, so why not? I smoothed out my long brown hair before leaving,

"I'm going out for a while, be back soon!" I shouted to whoever was home. Not that they'd notice I was gone.

I ran to Berny's, my heart racing and my legs shaking; making it slightly difficult. As I ran around the corner I saw Jake stood there in a blue and Grey checked shirt. I stopped dead still, not able to catch my breath, and that wasn't because of the running. I walked over to him calmly.

"Oh hey, I've got just the place to show you, it's sort of a secret, but I think you'll like it" He grabbed my hand and we walked away from Berny's, away from the main street and away from any form of civilization.

From what I could tell we were in a forest, more of an open plan forest, but a forest none the less. He lead me into an opening, there were three stumps where trees had been. I sat on one, starring at him.

"Why do you come here?" I said it before thinking, I didn't expect the answer I received.

"I come here when things are rough.." He sat next to me, avoiding my gaze. I frowned, what could be rough for him?

"I don't like my family, they treat my brother like a god, he's smart and sporty. I'm just quiet. They wanted me to take piano like him but I refused. I took guitar instead. They never really like the things I do. Especially my Dad..." I starred at Jake, you'd never think he had problems, but maybe that's why he keeps away from everyone.

"My Dad likes to drink" I heard the sentence, it stuck in my head and his throat. I knew what he was going to say before he said it, "He'll come home, telling me that I'm a disappointment of a son, that he wishes I hadn't been born, I was a mistake. He sometimes hits me but I fight back. But recently I haven't. I let him win, it ends faster if I don't struggle. I'm getting too tired to try anymore..." He trailed off, tears filling his eyes, falling down his cheeks and hitting his jeans. My heart fell, how could anyone think he was a disappointment? I stood up, grabbing his hand and pulling him into a hug,

"You're Dad is wrong. I've not known you for long but I can see what kind of person you are. You don't listen to him, tell someone what he does. You can't live like this Jake" I was scared for him, he was shaking slightly despite the warm weather.

"It won't change. Mom wouldn't care and as for Sam... well he'd tell me I'm doing it for attention and that I should grow up." More tears slid down his cheeks and onto my shoulder, he felt so fragile, I didn't want to let go.

We stood there for a while, me clinging onto him, making sure he was safe.

"Sarah, I don't think I can carry on with it anymore... It's too hard, everything, school, family, people... I just can't"

"What do you mean? You're not going to run away are you?"

"No... Not run away..." He looked away from me, starring at the trees behind me.

"Jake... You can't be talking about suicide?" My voice quivered, I may have only just met Jake Andrews but he had made me so happy it was unreal. I couldn't lose someone who did that to me. I looked at him, his fringe sticking to his forehead and his eyelashes all wet. There was nothing that I wanted more than to stay with this boy forever.

I let go of him, horrified, I didn't understand how he could end his life.

"Sarah... You've not been through all that I have. It's the only way to stop it-"

"It isn't Jake! You can't!" I felt tears in my eyes. I took a step back from Jake but he moved forward. He snaked his hands around my waist, picking me up and setting me on a low branch. He looked at me before leaning in, kissing me softly. I melted away.
“I’m sorry.. . I have to go now” He kissed me again, smiling at me vacantly, leaving me to sit on the branch alone.

”This is channel 7 news. Today Jake Andrews body was discovered in Detterside wood, he committed suicide, his family are at the scene now”
The day Jake was discovered is the day that haunts me the most. I could have helped him, I could have saved him. But I didn't’t.