Status: It's going :)

Living a Dream

Sober Confessions

Shit.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I play ignorant. She just keeps her bitchy glare on my and clenches her teeth.
"Lissa saw yeh fuckin' 'arassing 'im when yeh left the party yeh alcoholic slut!" Her words, no matter how much I disliked her, stung.
I composed myself and kept a blank expression. "I seriously do not know what the fuck you're talking about!"

"'Manda." Oli called her by her nickname, obviously trying to calm her down. "What are yeh talkin' 'bout?" Again a pang in my heart. At least I know he doesn't remember.
"Yeh don't remember?" Amanda voiced my thoughts.
"Remember wha'?"
Lissa cut in. "Yeh two were makin' out after yeh left, I was in Asking Alexandria's bus and I saw yeh two trough the window." And you didn't see the part where I pushed him off and waggled over to our bus, clearly drunk?

Oli sighs. "Amanda can we talk?" She nods and Matt N lets go of her slowly, still not sure if she's going to jump on me or not. Nobody moves from their spot, unsure what to do.
"Alone." Oli clears up. Lee, Jona and Lissa get of the bus and both Matts and I go to the bunk area.

The guys go on ahead to the back lounge to play Xbox. They weren't affected by this at all, but I was. My curiosity keeps nudging me to go over by the door and see what are they talking about.
I finally give in and tip toe to the door.

Their voices become clearer and I lean on the door to hear even better.
"'Ow could yeh?!" Amanda's high pitched voice yells.
"Just let me explain, please." She sighs but lets him talk.
"I don't remember it." He makes a pause and inhales. "She doesn't remember it." His voice comes out a bit different when he says it but I shrug it off.

"If it did 'appen.." She cuts him off. "Lissa wouldn't lie." She barks.
Another sigh from him. "Okay. It 'appened. But we were clearly drunk. Yeh saw me at the party. And the guys said this mornin' Ange was too. Ange doesn't like me in that way. She would never kiss me if she was sober." Wrong. "It just happened."

"But do yeh want to kiss 'er?" She remarked angrily.
"Amanda.." He trails of and refrains his answer.

Oh God, he's going to hive her the wrong impression. If he does she might break up with him out of anger. Them breaking up would be the worst possible scenario for me. My 'not giving a fuck' plan would just be a waste. I would see him everywhere and he would just be there. That isn't good for me, I can't have my heart broken before it even belonged to someone.

Before I could stop myself I open the door. They instantly turn to me looking confused.
Amanda opens her mouth to speak but I beat her to it.
"I'm sorry for interrupting and for eavesdropping." I turn to Amanda and ignore her killer stare.
"Amanda I'm sorry for what happened. We were obviously drunk, we don't even remember it. I know I was trashed for sure and what happened was definitely a drunk action." She turns to Oli and he nods.

I fake a smile. "I don't want you two to fight over me. I'm not saying this just because I would feel guilty but because there is really no point. I wasn't sober nor was Oli." When I finished I just kept standing there, looking like an idiot.

"I..I'm just gonna go." I point over my shoulder with my thumb.
I turn around and go straight to my bunk. I get in and I grab my laptop from the cabinet. I open it and turn it on. While it starts I think about what just went on and sigh.
It's for the best.

. . . . . . . . . . .


That afternoon I was sitting on the couch in the front lounge eating Ben and Jerry's and being all lazy. The guys were in the back playing Xbox, again.
I seriously need to go there, grab one joystick, kick all of their asses, bruise their ego so much they don't play for the rest of the tour and leave.
Not now, though. Now I'm enjoying my ice cream and watching TV.

The door that separates the bunk area and the front lounge opens. I tear my gaze from the TV and move slightly in the cocoon I made for myself out of pillows and look at the door. Oli was just coming in and our eyes met. I tore my gaze from him to the 'kitchen'.

"Let me guess. You need more beer." I say, acting completely normal and ignoring my now fastened heart beat.
"Yea." He nods and walks to the fridge to get them.
One question kept going trough my mind all day but I didn't see Oli once in that period and seeming that I did now, I couldn't refrain myself from asking, I needed to know what he thinks.

"Oli..How drunk were we?" He turns to me with a bit of shock in his eyes. I quickly explain myself. "I mean, if you remember. But you said you don't. Just ignore the question." I ramble stupidly.

"I...I do remember." My gaze catches his in a second and my eyes went wide.
"What!?"
"I couldn't say that to 'er. I-I'm sorry I lied, Ange." Seeing that I couldn't bring myself to speak he adds. "And to answer yeh..Yeh were pretty drunk and I..I wasn't as much."
He starts to go back to the guys but I stop him.
"Then why did you kiss me." He stops in his tracks.

"'Cause I wanted to." He says and leaves quickly.
♠ ♠ ♠
this is probably veeery sucky but I needed to get it out!
Anyways,
Thank you all so so much! I never actually thought people will read this! So, again, thank you, it really means a lot :)))
Comments = <3

p.s. check out my new story with my amazing co-write!