If You've Got the Nerve

My sister’s robes fit me snuggly, the silky fabric cool to the touch. The folds of differing greens and blacks flowed between each other in an effect that made it look like the fabric was ever changing. I felt proud the wear the clothes that I was sure my sister herself had looked beautiful in. I still wore the odd necklace I had received wrapped around my wrist.

Ginny and Hermione, both dressed gorgeously, had gone ahead of me. I felt more comfortable changing when everyone was gone.

I twirled in front of my mirror, allowing myself at least a few more vain moments as I watched the fabric fold in on itself and back out again. Nexus hooted from his perch on top of his cage. I smiled at him.

“Nice, huh?” he hooted again, his wide eyes boring into me. I held out my arm for him. He immediately flapped to take place there. I put him in his cage and secured the door tightly. “I’ll be back tonight,” I promised him, sticking a few treats between the metal bars, and then exiting the dorm.

I descended the stairs with my nerves on high. The common room was crowded with every shade of color I could imagine. The girls were swathed in bright fabrics of blue, pink, and yellow while the boys were all wearing dignified, dark robes that made them all look a little more like professional students.

Except for Ron Weasley.

Ron stood, almost hiding, behind Harry in his rather poorly edited robes. I stifled a giggle with the back of my hand. I swiftly left the last half of the staircase behind me, careful not to trip over the robes that swished across my skin like black and green water. It was impossible for me to spot anyone in the crowd now that I was on level and, in some cases, below level with everyone. I stood on my toes in an attempt to spot Vinny among the cheerful throng of students, but he had no defining features to help him stand out. However, someone else did.

Fred stood about halfway across the room. Angelina was by his side, talking enthusiastically to Alicia Spinnet. A frown slowly found its way on to my face. Angelina was dressed in striking red robes that accented her beauty which was usually covered by mud from Quidditch or a stern frown thanks to a long day of practice. I was somewhat surprised to see that Fred hadn’t received hand me down robes as his younger brother had. His own consisted of simple black fabric. It didn’t stand out much, but it was a while before I dragged my eyes back to their task of finding Vinny. My fingers fidgeted nervously with the bracelet that I still wore on my right wrist.

“What are you doing standing here all alone?” I jumped at the sound of the voice so close to me. My head whipped to the right, almost slamming into George’s grinning face. He looked at my startled expression with an air of great amusement.

“I’m trying to find Vinny,” I replied after my mind caught up and I realized the question hadn’t come from anyone that was a threat. I glanced over his attire to see he was wearing robes that were identical to his brother’s. George inclined his head toward that same twin brother,

“Come down with us,” I opened my mouth to protest, my eyes casting around the room once more. I didn’t want to leave with another group and abandon Vinny. “I’m sure he’s already downstairs waiting. Come on,” he grabbed me by the hand and began leading me through the crowd towards Angelina, Fred, and Alicia. I gave in. After all, he was probably right. I hadn’t exactly been rushing to get ready. “You look brilliant, by the way,” he commented as we moved forward. I smiled in thanks.

When we reached the small group, George took a spot next to Alicia, his hand slipping from mine. “Nox will be joining us until we get to the hall. She’s lost her date,” he announced to the others with a grin.

“I have not lost him,” I muttered, my gaze casting downwards before flicking back up as I returned the warm smiles that the girls were giving me.

Betraying my insistent thoughts, my eyes wandered to the boy standing next to Angelina. Fred looked slightly stricken, almost like he had been hit with a Confundus charm, his eyes giving me an onceover that lingered. I shifted where I stood, my arms instinctively coming up to wrap around myself as a wave of self-consciousness threatened to drown any and all rational thinking that was keeping me from running away.

“Er, you look really nice, Nox.” It sounded forced enough for me to doubt he meant them. I thanked him anyway, my arms tightening around me. I watched Angelina and George exchanging a look significant enough to have me narrowing my eyes at them both.

“Shall we go then?” Alicia suggested with a clap of her hands. We all agreed after seeing that the common room was indeed becoming less crowded. I felt awkward walking beside the two couples without someone of my own, but I made sure to keep up a conversation with Alicia and keep my head from dropping.

Fred nudged me after we climbed out of the portrait hole to stand at the top of the stairs. “Want me to carry you?”

“Want me to push you?” I shot back. He laughed, but fell silent. Despite his teasing, I was careful with picking my way down the marble deathtrap. I could feel Fred’s amused stare on my back.

A familiar voice rose above the din that assaulted our ears as we stepped in sight of the entrance hall. “Anima!”

“Anima?” Fred repeated in a low sardonic tone behind me. I stepped on his foot clandestinely, ignoring the small sound of pain that left his mouth.

“Vinny!” I grinned as the dark-haired boy stopped in front of us and caught his breath. He returned the smile with his own beaming one while giving the others a wave. “I couldn’t find you in the common room, so George offered to walk me down here to look.” I nodded in the direction of George and the others.

I surveyed the Russian boy’s appearance. He was dressed smartly in robes of deep, midnight blue that seemed slightly worn down. There seemed to be a lot more confidence in the way he held himself compared to last night.

“You look great,” I complimented, stepping onto the last step so that I stood at a better level with him.

“Me? Dressed in secondhand robes? These used to be my brother’s and my father’s before him,” he explained, picking at one sleeve. Nevertheless, he looked pleased with my praise. “But you,” he took a step back as if he were looking at me for the first time, “you look gorgeous, really, you do.” I could accurately guess who it was that made a snorting noise behind me. I moved to step on his foot again, but he saw it coming this time.

Before I could make any comments about also receiving my robes from an older sibling, the doors to the Great Hall boomed open, drawing all eyes. George immediately perked up.

“We’ll see you guys inside!” he called, pulling Alicia along with him as he skipped over the last few steps and joined the thick stream of students heading towards the hall. I gave Alicia a thumbs-up as she cast a nervous look over her shoulder at me. Fred and Angelina silently followed them. Vinny offered his arm out to me. I looped my arm around his and stepped down on to the ground so that I was back to being shorter than him. We headed into the hall with all of the other excited students.

Stepping through the doors was like stepping into an entirely new world. The hall shone with a frost that seemed to cover everything but the floor. Snowflakes were dancing downwards from the enchanted ceiling, fading from sight before they made it halfway towards the heads of the teenage witches and wizards that gazed around animatedly. The usual Christmas trees stood twinkling and watching along the white walls. “Wow,” was Vinny’s only word as he stood next to me, his mouth gaping open. Even I was marveling at the winter beauty.

“They’ve really outdone themselves this time,” the blonde girl in front of me squeaked. However, the other schools seemed unimpressed with the flashy display.

Once everyone had found a place, the champions were marched in regally to give the first dance. Halfway through the first song, both students and teachers crowded onto the floor. Vinny had quickly ushered me onto the floor as well. He was dancing surprisingly well. He laughed when I voiced the observation. “My mother didn’t accept us as her children until we could dance perfectly.” I laughed, but winced as I stepped wrong, emphasizing that I wasn’t as skilled as he was in this art.

It was a long time before we left the floor for a break. Quite a few songs had played ranging from ballads to songs so fast that the teachers had to sit well out of the way. I collapsed into a chair near one of the towering Christmas trees, suddenly wishing the ceiling would let its snowflakes drop onto my flushed cheeks.

“My brother has been giving me the look for the past five minutes,” Vinny admitted under my questioning gaze once I noticed he wasn’t taking a seat next to me. “I’d better see what he wants before he makes a scene. I’ll bring back drinks,” he added then darted towards his brother before I could even nod in acknowledgement. I crossed my legs, tapping a painted nail on the table beside me, and scanning the crowd before me.

In what seemed no time at all, my view was obscured by a tall figure. I ceased my tapping and looked up into a pair of chocolate eyes that shone with unreleased mirth and – maybe I was imagining it – nerves.

“Care to dance?” he asked with the smallest of smiles as he offered me a hand just as the current band started one of their slower songs.

“Sure,” I answered, hoping that my returned smile would cover up the fact that my breathing was suddenly becoming uneven.

I placed my hand in Fred’s. He led me back through the significantly thinned crowd, turning to face me again when we had found a place with enough room for both of us. Both of his hands were placed lightly on my hips. I followed his lead, clasping my hands loosely behind his neck. Fred swaying us in a slow circle could hardly be categorized as “dancing,” but I was content with doing just this; for the rest of the night if I had to.

“You know, you really do look amazing tonight.” I gave him a questioning look.

“I thought I looked ‘nice,’”

He shook his head. “No, you look much better than nice. I was just…surprised when I first saw you…” he looked unsure of what he had said, looking at me as if for approval.

“Thank you, Fred. It means a lot,” He looked relieved. I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“What?” I shook my head, resting it lightly on his shoulder.

“Are you always like this with girls?” he scoffed as if the thought of him always acting like this was absurd.

“So where’s What’s-His-Face at?” he asked in a horrible attempt at a casual tone. I pulled my head away from his shoulder to see his eyes roaming around the room, looking anywhere but at me.

“Talking to his brother,” I returned his question, asking the whereabouts of Angelina. He shrugged.

“I think she was talking to Katie Bell when I left,”

“So you ditched her,” I smirked.

“And you didn’t even wait five minutes for your dearest Vinny to return,” he shot back, his eyes finally landing on me for more than half a second. He grinned widely, “We’re horrible dates.” I let out a snort of laughter.

“Speak for yourself, Weasley; I’m a brilliant date.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,”

“Maybe I’ll show you sometime,” my eyebrows rose suggestively. My laughter at our dialogue was barely held in. It felt nice to slip back into this routine after Fred’s absence of mind and body lately.

His lips curled ever so slightly into a smirk as he moved his face close enough to allow our foreheads to touch. “I’d enjoy being proven wrong,” he said in a voice low and soft enough to set my heart beating faster than a snitch’s wings. I tried to laugh the moment off, but the noise dried up in my throat. I avoided looking in his eyes.

The red-head sighed and closed his eyes. The smell of mystery sweets and burnt wood washed over me in a dizzying cloud. Now that his gaze was off me, my own eyes were free to wander over his face, drinking in every detail that I had missed in the past week.

Fred’s face suddenly twisted in an expression that was too close to pain for my comfort. “Do you ever think something could happen?” his whisper barely carried to me over the chattering students and lamenting instruments. For a moment, I thought he hadn’t meant for me to hear it, but his breath came slower now as if he was holding it in, waiting for an answer that might bring relief.

“Happen?” my brow came together in a tight ‘V,’ “How do you mean?” He seemed to silently brace himself as if preparing to be hit with a particularly nasty stinging jinx.

“I mean between – ” but his words stopped instantly, his whole body tensing just as suddenly when someone tapped him on the shoulder. His eyes snapped open, annoyance clear in every shade, and he pulled away from me.

“Do you mind if I cut in?” Vinny, standing just behind him, questioned. I thought I saw a spark of Fred’s own frustration mirrored on Vinny’s face until Fred pulled away completely, his hands leaving my waist. I frowned.

“Actually, he was just about to ask me something. What were you saying, Fred?”

“Nothing,” he said flatly, “it was nothing important. She’s all yours, mate.” I watched as Fred stalked away. A frown was still etched onto my face.

“What’s his problem?” Vinny questioned the air, also watching Fred’s departure which extended past the entrance to the Great Hall. A second later, he turned his green gaze on me, a grin still in place. “You’re back in the dancing mood then? I’ve got us some drinks if you’re thirsty,” he held up the two cups of Butterbeer that he was balancing in one hand.

“Actually, Vinny, do you mind if I turn in early? I’m exhausted and really just want some sleep.”

“Already?” he looked crestfallen and I thought I saw his eyes flick in the direction of the door for a second. I ignored my guilt and nodded, already beginning to back towards the door,

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I had a great time though,”

Turning on my heel, I dashed through the door into the empty entrance hall. Again came the sense of entering a completely different world. I thought I could hear distant footsteps above me on the stairs. “Fred? Fred!” No one answered me. I dropped to sit on the steps with a frustrated huff. My arms folded in front of me in an attempt to ward off the cold that spilled in from the open doors. I entertained myself for a few moments by watching the twinkling fairy lights outside. Even with this thrilling task, my mind still strayed to Fred's words. I had a nagging feeling I wouldn't be able to rest easy until I knew what he had wanted to say. If only Vinny had stayed away for a moment longer...But that wasn't fair. After all, I had agreed to go with Vinny, not Fred.

It wasn’t until the bulk of the students were filtering out and Snape was shooing stragglers away that I rose to make my own way back to bed. All in all, the night had left a sour taste in my mouth that couldn’t be snuffed even by the pleasant smell that still lingered.