If You've Got the Nerve

Surely it was too early to be awake. I was mental to be walking about the empty corridors at this time. Any moment now Filch would pop around a corner and demand of me the reasons for my suspicious actions. Because it was surly most suspicious for a student to be making their way up to the Divination classroom before half the school had even begun their trek to the Great Hall for eggs and biscuits – against the law even! But, to my luck, I was alone except the few stirring portraits when I reached the trapdoor that would lead me up to the perfumed classroom. I was glowering at the small wooden door, only now wondering how it was I would get it to open for me.

As much as I cringed at the thought, I knew I had to talk to Professor Trelawney again. She hadn’t shown much interest last time I had gone to her pleading seer, but there was something drawing me back to the woman after last night. Because, hours earlier, I had been haunted by unpleasant dreams to the point where I had been forced to sit up in my unnaturally cold dorm hours before the first rays of light began to filter into the room. And it was when those first fingers of yellow brushed the closed curtains of my bed that I had broken free of my shivery state and tore from my room, only stopping to dress and grab my school bag, determined to speak to someone about the abnormal dreams.

I had just realized the futility of my early awakening and settled on the cold reality that I would have to wait up here, with no breakfast, for the other students, when the door sprang open and the familiar rickety ladder clunked down to the floor. I stared, blinking as if caught by a sudden flash of light. Then, mind made up, I clambered up the creaking steps, slowing only when I was close enough to smell the heavy herb-scented air wafting from inside. I cleared the last few steps warily, my fingers fiddling with the shining piece of jewelry on my wrist.

The room seemed utterly empty except for the usual seats, tables, and burning fire. I had never known Professor Trelawney to leave her class, so I didn’t relax, expecting her to swoop down in a very Professor Snape manner the moment I did allow myself peace of mind.

“Professor?”

No answer.

Maybe she did leave her tower at times. I mean, she had to eat, didn’t she? I momentarily mused that she was a disguised creature, in need of no provisions such as food and water. As I’d predicted, the silence was cut in half the moment I allowed myself a seat in one of the plush chairs available to students.

“My dear, I’ve been expecting you!” I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes as Professor Trelawney entered with a dramatic flourish of her robes. “Your aura is troubled,” I waited for her to predict my death, but she seemed satisfied with her grim words, taking a seat at her desk. A puff of smoke went up as she sat.

I stayed silent. Was I supposed to just launch into my story or question her first? Her wide eyes never left me. I shifted uncomfortably.

“I assume there is a reason for you coming to my classroom so early?” She sounded oddly serious. I stared at her then the ground, images of my dreams slowly clicking on in my head.

I could remember some parts vividly while I was unsure I others had happened or if they were my imagination. The one thing that I could remember was that I had been running. Running and turning. Like I was trapped in something even more twisting than the halls in Hogwarts – something I thought was impossible. And then there was the way everything had looked. It had all had a green light to it. If I explained this dream, would she really think it was important? Would she be able to tell that it was something more? I recalled the fear and panic that had been pumping through me.

As I began to recount the dream to my Professor, I felt myself running again. The images playing clearly in front of me.

Left, right, right, left.

A voice whispered in my ear, but I couldn't make out the words that were uttered.

Left, right, stay left –

I snapped to. Professor Trelawney was standing in front of me, dangerously close, and staring at me intently. I stared back. My breathing was coming in hard gasps as if I really had been running in that winding, unclear maze.

There was a long silence that left a buzzing in my ear. It wasn’t until my breathing had calmed to normal that Professor Trelawney turned on her heel to return to her desk.

“I believe…” she began then stopped. Her hands expertly flipped the pages of an ancient looking book, but her eyes were on me again.

“My mother says my grandmother is a seer,” I burst out. My hands came up instinctively to cover my mouth. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth. My mother had never told me outright in her letter that my grandmother was a seer, but she had hinted heavily at it. I could only assume.

“Yes,” Trelawney sighed, as if it was only expected.

I bristled suddenly. Why was it that I seemed to be the only one surprised by this new trait? I got to my feet in an angry rush. I meant to storm down the ladder and back to the Great Hall to find Fred or George. For once, I was beyond tempted to join in their ruthless jokes against the subject of Divination. Just as I took a step towards the exit though, students began to file in. I glared at each and every one of them – some of them looked shocked at my open hostility – then stormed to the back of the room, threw my bag beside a chair, and sat with my arms and legs crossed tightly.

“Are you okay?” Vinny took his usual seat next to me, slowly lowering himself into his seat. I nodded curtly.

“Fine.”

“You don’t look fine,”

“I’m fine!” I snapped. A few heads turned to look at me. I glared and they turned away. I saw Harry and Ron both look over. I couldn’t bring myself the glare at either of them. It wasn’t their fault that nobody was telling me anything. I relaxed my posture, unfolding my legs, but keeping my arms firmly in place.

Professor Trelawney was off in a rant about planets and moons when Vinny spoke up again. He spoke in a hushed voice so that nobody heard him.

“So…I wanted to ask you something,”

I opened my eyes. A few minutes into Trelawney’s lecture, I had set my head on the table to rest and closed my eyes. I was hoping to get at least a few minutes of peaceful sleep before I was shoved off to Potions class then forced to deal with the twins.

I watched Vinny shift in his seat. His eyes were looking around at everything in the room. They landed on me once or twice but flicked away almost immediately. I returned to my sleepy state, eyes closing tightly. “Go on,”

“Well…there have been a few rumors lately and…they kind of involve you…” I could feel myself tense. Great. Now there were rumors flying about –

About what?

My eyes opened and I regarded Vinny again. “Go on,” I repeated in a less grumbling voice.

Vinny took a deep breath, lowered his voice even further, and then rushed on. “People are saying you and Fred Weasley are dating.”

My eyes couldn’t have gotten any wider. I was sitting bolt upright now. All desire to sleep had left me completely. There it was, out in the open. Always there had been someone saying something. Always Fred and I had been teased about our closeness; the way we always flirted – but that was just playing around! Usually it was George or Lee cracking the jokes. Even Percy used to make a few smart comments when he had no comeback against the twins. But never had someone outright suggested that we were together – dating – dating each other. And never had anyone outside of my little bubble of friends said anything. Obviously, they simply hadn’t said it to my face.

“Who told you that?” I hissed at Vinny. He looked startled at my reaction and not at all reassured.

“I…I don’t know…a group at breakfast…and a few times before…I don’t know…” The words tumbled out in a mess. I closed my eyes and rubbed them as if I was convinced the action would clear some of my panicked thoughts. It didn’t. “So…are you – ”

“No!” I knew he had winced without even opening my eyes. I didn’t care. Right now, I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to care. Why did saying no make me so angry?

“Did you talk to Fred about this?” I asked suddenly.

“No,” he was lying through his teeth. I turned my head to regard him angrily. He tossed around for the right words to say. “Well they sat with me at breakfast; him and the other – ”

“George,” I snapped, not at all appreciating his naming of my other best friend.

“Right. They just came up to me at breakfast and started talking to me. Fred started asking about what happened with us in Hogsmeade – this was all after I heard the rumors so I just assumed…”

“Assumed what?” but I didn’t really need to ask and I knew he wasn’t going to answer me. “So now they’ve got something brand new to hit me with,” I groaned, resuming the task of trying to ease my jumbled mind.

In truth, that wasn’t why I was upset. My stomach was knotting itself over what Fred’s reaction would be. He wouldn’t tease me; no, that was George’s job. Fred would be much worse. He would blow it off, call it rubbish, and pick it apart like every other rumor that graced our school’s halls. Because Fred Weasley, in all the years that I’ve known him, could whip up the most complicated spells and brews for the most brilliant things, but Merlin forbid you ask him to realize something right in front of his nose.