Awake

"Are the pills working yet?"
Blake asks, looking over at me, his face tense.

"Somewhat"
I wince as I readjust my position.
It seems as if we've been on the road forever, he doesn't help with his constant questioning if I'm still in pain

"Good"
His eyes focus back on the highway.
It only takes a minute before he opens his mouth to say something again.
What he ask next is not what I expected.
"How did you get hurt? I want the truth"

I swallow and lower my gaze to my lap.
"It's a long story Blake"

"We have a lot of time"

I sigh and close my eyes.
I don't want to rehash the last month and half, especially the last two days.
Might as well he won't quit asking until I tell him..

"The woman, Mrs. Cherri, is a evil woman. What she has been doing to children has been going long before I got there,,"
I launch into the story, when I get to the part about Penny, I glance into the rearview mirror to see Asher now fast asleep, slumping against the car door.
I decide to tell him about her, leaving out the close relationship between her and Asher.
That's his private business, the thought telling someone else feels wrong.

When I finish I look over at him.
I can see an undertone of shock painted across his perfect features.

"Are you telling me she brainwashes teenagers and makes them basically dead to the world, then kills anyone who tries to rat her out?"

I nod, clenching and unclenching my jaw.

"Why? I mean haven't any of the parents wondered why their kids are still there after like years?"

"I don't know how she does it, how she gets away with it"
I reply.
"But I do know she won't get away with anymore. When we get back I'm going to the police"
I state strongly, picturing that creature that has done such evil behind bars, justice finally being carried out.

I close my eyes again, but this time I slip away into the most restful and peaceful sleep I've had in months.

*X*

I wake to the feeling of warm fingers stroking my temple and down my cheek and jaw.
"Farrah, you need to wake up"

"I am"
Slur sleepily, prying open my eyes.
Instead of seeing the sky light grey, as it was when I fell asleep, I find a deep navy has taken it's place.

"Ay! Asher! Wake up!"
Snaps Blake loudly.

"Be nice"
I yawn, moving my almost numb limbs into a different position.

"What do you want?"
Croaks the boy in the backseat.
I hear him moving around, then his head appears in the space between Blake's and I's seats.

"We're about 5 minutes away from our house and since it's too late to return to whoever birthed you, your going to just stay with us tonight"
Blake states, not looking away from the road.

"What about going to the police?"
I ask.

"Tomorrow morning, first thing, I promise"

*X*

As I cross the threshold into my house, a euphoria hits me.

I'm home...

I walk as quickly as I can up the stairs, down the hall and into my room.
I fling open the door and stare at it.
It looks exactly the same as it always has, like I never left.

Maybe I can pretend I never did...

I move over to my bed and lie down, breathing in deeply the smell of honeysuckles, joop and cigarettes.
I'm thrown into a memory of long ago, before anything and everything happened.

"Blake!" My 8 year old self shouts looking for my brother in the wooded backyard of our grandparents property.

"Blake where are you?"

"I'm right here"
I turn around to see Blake's young teenager form standing there, wielding a batch of flowers.

"What are those?'
I point to them, cocking my head to the side.

"Honeysuckles, they bring you good luck"
He hands them to me and I bring them up to my face smelling them.

"They smell sweet"
I smile up at him.
"Thank you"

"Farrah?"
I'm pulled from the memory at the sound of Blake's voice.
He stands in the doorway, hands in his pockets, his dark hair falling across his face slightly.
He is so beautiful...

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to tell you goodnight and Asher's down on the couch, so don't freak out if you go down there in the night"

"Why isn't he in the guest room?"
I ask, my brow furrowing.

"He said he'd feel more comfortable on the couch"
He shrugs, looking down.
I know he's lying, but I don't push it.
He turns to leave, but I stop him.

"Blake, please stay with me tonight"
I say quietly.

Without a word Blake shuts the door and comes over to the bed.
As always his lanky form presses against the wall far away from me.

I study his face and he gazes back at me.
Without thinking I reach up and brush my the hair out of his eyes, his lovely eyes.

"Blake?"

"Hm?"

"Kiss me"

His face shows surprise.
"Farrah, I couldn't, I mean it's not-"

"Not right? Blake nothing is right anymore, but your kisses are so nice they make me forget that"
I murmur, moving my thumb over his bottom lip.

"Don't say that"

"Why?"

"You might convince me to do something that could hurt you, I made a promise never to do that again and I intend to keep it"

I don't say anything for awhile, thinking.
"If you give me one kiss tonight I won't ask for one tomorrow"

"If I don't?"

"Then I will ask tomorrow, if you kiss me tomorrow I will not ask the next day, and if you do not kiss me I will"
I finally look back over him.

I don't even see his face get close, I just feel his lips against mine.
I move my hand to his hair, pulling him a little closer.
Soon my body is moving without command.
My other hand grips the front of his shirt.
My body pulls his over to mine, so he is almost on top of me.
My body movies my hands down his chest.

What am I doing? I need to stop!

But my body doesn't listen to me.
Blake shifts so he is hovering over me, knees on either side of my hips.

No no no! Why am I letting his happen? Why won't my body listen?
I scream inside my head

Maybe it's because you really don't want him to quit..
A little part of my mind counters.
That can't be it though, can it?

He pulls away, pushing his face into my neck, a moan escaping.
"P-Please, tell me to stop"
He stutters out, breathing heavily into my neck.

"What if I don't?"

No! That's not what I want to say! Where are these words falling from my lips coming from?

"F-Farrah, I can't-Just tell me to stop, I need you to say it"
I feel his tongue run across my neck.
His hands grip my thighs.
"I need to stop, you have to tell me to"

His words don't match with his actions, like his body also is moving without command.

I close my eyes, blocking out Blake, focusing on my body doing what I tell it to.
My hands on his chest begin to push him away.

"B-Blake, stop"
I whisper, finally getting the words out.