Awake

I walk into the library.
A very large room with bookcases from the floor to the high ceilings.
It appears almost every teenager is here.
Some reading on couches and chairs and others looking for a book.

I softly walk over to the bookcase, trying not to make any noise.
This is something I have found myself doing all day.
It seems a sin to break the silence that overtakes every room.

An old, framed sign hangs against a wall.
'Take Only One Book At A Time'

I read title's printed on the binders as I browse for something.

Pulling one out at random I flip it open to the inside cover for a summery.
It tells a tail of girl who's lost everything.

I put it back on the shelf.

Grabbing another I do the same, reading the summery.
This one tells of slavery.
I place it back in it's place also.

Book after book, summery after summery.
Tales of pain, depictions of death, trials of depression and torture.

I hurry over to another rack of volumes, hoping for something different.

Again I find myself immersed in suffering accounts of hate and torment.
Shoving yet another novel back, I step back confused.

The books start to bring back everything I've tired to forget. Memories of my own wretched afflictions, they rear up in my mind.
Images of spiders and him.
The pain.
The violation.

A wave of queasiness hits me.
I grip a table edge next to me to keep my balance and take hold of my head.

What is this place?

An emotion of alertness arises in the pit of my stomach.

Something isn't not right, not at all.

"Are you alright?"
A soft hand presses against my back, keeping me steady.
Asher, with worry in his eyes, stands next's to me.

I shake my head, squeezing eyes shut tight.

Stop it! Stop it! Get out!
I scream mentally at the pictures there.

Blake.
It's not Asher touching me, it's my beloved step brother.
I'm not here, I'm home.
I'm in Blake's bed.
He's holding me tight.
His breath tickles my neck as he speaks softly of singing to the moon and stars.

But I open my eyes and I'm with Asher not Blake.
In a library, not home.
It's Asher's breath not his.

"Hey, girl, are you okay?"

His words are not whispers, they are spoken in a normal tone, if not a little louder.

"N-No, I need to go"
Pulling away from him I run out the exit into the hall.

"Girl! Wait!"

I ignore him, setting my eyes on the doors at the end of the hallway.

My feet hit the floor loudly, but I barely hear them over my heart beating in my chest and my screaming thoughts.

I need to go home, this place isn't right.
I need Blake.

The doors become larger and larger as I near them.

So close..Just a little-

Hands grab my shoulders and yank me backward with such force I slam into the wall.
My vision is blurred with tears that gathered at the memories, so I have to depend on touch and sound.

I fall to the floor and try to crawl away, but arms pick me up and shove me into the wall once more.

I try to call out, but a palm covers my mouth.

"Shh! Shh! Girl, stop it, calm down!"
Asher.
He talks in harsh whispers close to my ear.

I struggle without success and suddenly it's not the boy I just met yesterday holding me, but the boy I've prayed so hard to forget.

It's him.

"No! Don't! Don't touch me! Get off of me! Please!"
I sob, clawing at his flesh.

"Girl! I'm not going to hurt you, you have to calm down or Mrs. Cherri will!"
He presses his fingers over my mouth, forcing me into silence once more.
Picking my body up into his arm, he starts down the hall towards the stairs quickly.
I keep still, those words playing over and over in my mind.

Is he telling the truth? Will Mrs. Cherri hurt me?
She refused me dinner for being late, but would she actually hurt me?
Should I even be listening to what this boy says?

I am brought from my thoughts when I'm set down on a bed.
Drying my tears away so I can see, I find myself in a room exactly like mine.

Asher goes over to the door and locks it.
Coming back to me, he grabs me by the shoulders and looks me in the eyes.

"You must never try to runaway, she'll catch you"
He speaks through gritted teeth.

"But I must leave, this isn't right! I need my family, I need my Blake, I need to be home for Christmas next month"

His eyebrows pull together.
"Christmas isn't next month"

"What are you talking about? Yes it is"
I sniff looking at him confused it.

"No it isn't, it's March, Christmas isn't for another 9 months..Right?"

I stare up at him shocked.