Awake

I stare out my window at the dreary outside.
Dreary or not, I long to be out there.
The sky is grey, but snow covers everything making it look almost like Narnia.
Memories of Blake taking me out as a child and playing in the snow all day gleam in my minds eye.
I want that.

Standing up, I hurry to get on my coat, boots and scarf.

I stop at the door, remembering going outside is not allowed without permission from Mrs. Cherri.

I try to hold my head high as I walk down the hallway, my stomach twisting painfully with anxiety.

My eyes are glued to the door of her office.
My hands, shoved in the pockets of my coat, ball into fists.
I suck breaths in through clenched teeth.
I reach for the doorknob.

Strong fingers curl around the fabric of my jacket and yank me backwards.
I gasp only to find Asher there, finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet.

I nod, confused to why he's doing this.

He pulls me gently along to the empty dining area.

Shutting the doors he turns to me.

"What do you think your doing?!"
His voice is in a tone I've not heard before, it isn't worried, sad, or nervous it's...Demanding.

I raise my eyebrows, leaning away from him.
I don't like they way he says that, not one bit.

"I was going to Mrs. Cherri- "Why?" He cuts me of sharply, gripping my arm tightly.
Why is he acting like this?

I jerk out of his grip.
"To ask her permission to go outside, I want to see the snow"

He snorts a laughter, but it has not humor in it.
"She won't give you permission, she never gives anyone permission. I would have thought you would know by now"

I bite the inside of my mouth, trying to keep back the spiteful words that want to spew from within at his harsh way of crushing my hopes.

"Why are you acting like this?"
I speak slowly.

"Acting like what?"
He cocks his head to one side.

"Like a jerk!"
The sentence flies form my lips and I don't regret it.

"I'm not being a jerk, your being an idiot"
He snaps.

My jaw drops ever so slightly for a moment before I regain my composer, somewhat.
"Well-I-You-"
I can't seem to come up with the right words to express how I feel.
So I do the only other thing to do at a time like this.

Walk away.

Out of the dining area and down the hall, once again to her office.
I stare at the entrance, then to the front doors just 10 feet away.

Maybe I can slip out, just for a minute and come in before she sees me...

I chew my lip, then start walking to the front doors, compelled by some strange confidence.

Pushing them open, I feel the icy air against my flesh.
White is all around, covering every inch of ground and every tree.

Suddenly I am no longer in a strange recovery home.
I'm home.
Childish giddy boils within and I race forward, forgetting everything behind.

Giggles escape my mouth as twirl around, eyes closed, mouth open.
Little flakes fall onto my tongue, melting instantly.

I open my eyes, still spinning.

A dark figure interrupts the white all around.
My heart freezes as I stop dizzily, my back to whoever it is.

I fear turning around, I fear seeing who it is.

I turn.
My heart stops, then begins to pound harder then ever.
My breath is gone as I simply stare, unable to do anything else.

They walk forward with long strides.

Hands take hold of my face and lips press against mine, my eyelids flutter shut.

They pull away and I slowly open my eyes once again.

"You came for me Blake"