Creep.

“I don’t love you.” I repeated in shock, staring back into Snape’s eyes. That’s when it sunk in. Snape’s eyes held hurt and betrayal until he finally masked it with anger. He pushed me off of him and stood up quickly. I found myself scrambling to my feet so I could run out of his bedroom, but Snape beat me to the punch. He stepped over me and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving me alone on his floor. I felt empty, for the first time in days I felt empty...but it wasn’t as good a feeling as I thought. It chewed at my stomach and mind like cancer.
" You sure 'ave don' it now!" one of the many taxidermy yelled.
"I didn't mean to-"
"You knew what you were doing!" I glanced over my shoulder at a bore, the same one Leigha had to face trying to get the ingredients for the potion that was now torturing me.
"No." I shook my head." I thought Unloving Snape would fix everything…I didn't mean to-"
"Stupid girl!" A swan shouted, I looked over to see it flap it's wings.
"You both fell in love, with no potions or spells…that was the true magic." I shook my head violently.
"No, I was given a love potion, Leigha gave it to me by accident." I stood and began walking toward the door, Knowing Snape wouldn’t want me here when he returned. I pulled myself off the floor and drifted back to my dorm as all the taxidermy began protesting my statement. I stopped outside my dorm to hear Leigha and Emily giggling and rioting, Reese was telling jokes with Draco, and Leigha and Emily’s dates chuckled in response. I refused to ruin their night. I let myself wander aimlessly until I found myself outside trudging through the snow alone. After a few shivering moments I was sitting in the middle of the Quidditch field. My owl Salem flew down and sat on my shoulder, she had my sweater draped over my shoulder with her. I patted my companion and pushed my arms through the sleeves and zipped up the jumper. Salem walked down my arm and looked at me expectantly.
“I don’t have any treats, sorry man.” I sighed petting her white feathers. She nudged me again but harder.
“I don’t have anything!” I said louder showing her my hands.
“See? Nothing.” Salem looked me in the eyes before biting me in the side. I screamed and jumped to me feet.
“Ouch! That hurt you little bugger!” I yelled pointing at my bird who was now sitting on a Quidditch pole above me.
“You don’t believe me? Fine, man look, nothing!” I shouted as I began to turn out my pocket. Something fell to my feet and Salem charged for it. I ducked down and grabbed it first before she could eat it.
“Alright, fine you win. I’m not in the mood right now!” I looked down at what I picked up, it was a letter. I shoved it back in my pocket and began to walk toward the bleacher. But Salem wasn’t big on that idea. She flew at my back and nudged me forward; I staggered and almost fell into the snow.
“What?” I yelled turning to face her; she was squawking at me now and flapping her wings.
“What, you want me to read this bloody thing?” I asked pulling the letter out of my jumper and waving it at the owl. She ducked her head down and looked at me.
“Can I sit down first?” I asked crossing my arms, feeling stupid once the couple passing me heard me talking to a bird. Salem flapped her wings and flew toward the bleachers. I followed her and sat down, instantly she began nudging my arm.
“Okay!” I yelled tearing open the letter and unfolding the paper.

One chance, if this foolish infatuation doesn’t end by tomorrow night, I will assume your intent is true.
I stopped reading and checked when he dated it. The letter was from two days ago. I crumpled it up and threw it at Salem.
“You couldn’t have given it to me earlier?” I shouted throwing my head into my knees, Salem hissed at me and flew away, stupid bird. That explains a lot. My mind snapped shut, locking me into a daze of self loathing. I just hurt Professor Snape in the best way possible, I finally got back at him, and I’ve finally got him where I want him. So why do I feel like I’ve killed him in the process? Why do I feel like I’ve hurt myself as well? Tears slipped down my cheeks involuntarily, I pulled my iPod out of my bra and pushed the headphones into my ears, I huddled into a ball no longer caring if I froze to death out here. I didn’t want to go back inside, I didn’t want to face him, I didn’t want to be picked on anymore, I didn’t want me be different. I just wanted to go home. The tears picked up as I realized I couldn’t go home for the holidays. I hit my head against my knees knowing I was trapped in Hogwarts. I pushed play on my iPod, letting my head stay on my knees.

I fell in your arms tonight
I fell hard in your arms tonight
It was nice
I died in your arms tonight
I slipped through into the after life
It was nice
White light in your arms tonight
I lost sight in your arms tonight
It was nice

And hey, you
Don't you think it's kind of cute
That I died right inside your arms tonight
That I'm fine even after I have died
Because it was in your arms I died
I cry in the after life
I cry hard because I have died and you're alive
I try to escape after life
I try hard to get back inside your arms alive
And hey, you
Don't you think it's kind of cute

That I tried to escape the after life
That I tried to get back in your arms alive
That I died in your arms that night
I fell hard in your arms
I went and died in your arms that night
I fell in your arms tonight
Suicide in your arms

And hey you don't you think it's kind of cute
That I died right inside your arms tonight
That I'm fine even after I have died
That I tried to get back in your arms alive
That I died in your arms that night

I fell in your arms tonight
I died in your arms tonight
White light in your arms tonight
I fell in your arms tonight

Tears were now flowing down my cheeks. I felt empty, dead…and alone. For the first time in a month, I felt like nothing was important…I felt like I always have…I guess after you experience love…everything else becomes foreign to you…
The pain I felt while battling with Snape, could never compare to what I feel now.
I should have know I could never be the same again.

“Are you okay?” I came out from my pity party to see none other than Harry Potter.
“Look man, I bet you’re super nice. But I just want to have a breakdown with no witnesses, okay?” Harry sat down next to me and looked out into the field. Oh god, what the hell did he want? Did he want to try and be a hero to yet another student?
“Look, I just saw you crying, and wanted to know if you’re okay.”
“Do I look okay?”
“Not at all.” Harry chuckled pulling out a handkerchief and handing it to me. I thanked him and began to wipe my running make-up off my face.
“I saw what you did for Leigha, It was really mean, but nice of you.” I sniffled and nodded.
“I’d do anything for her.”
“Listen, I know you don’t want me in your business, but you look like you have some rubbish to sort out.”
“Yeah.” I whispered, hugging my knees tighter.
“There’s a mirror downstairs. It’s pretty nice to look at.” Harry pushed a piece of paper into my sweater pocket and left. Once again I was alone.
I didn't move, I didn't want to think…just freeze out here in the snow.
"Oh and Della." I looked up at Potter, he had a small smile on his face.
"It's getting really cold don't you think?" After I didn't respond he shrugged.
"Storms coming, I just don't want you to be another ghost at Hogwarts." People actually like you? He pushed his hands into his pockets and walked away.
I can't lie. I don't want to kill him as much as I used to now.