My Teenage Bucket List

When I awoke, all I heard was silence and a loud bass and humming somewhere far off.

As soon as I opened my eyes and tried to sit up, splitting pain ran through every inch of my head and down my spine.

I groaned and almost screamed from the pain.

“Here, honey, take two of these,” my mom’s smooth voice said as she handed me the two pills and some water.

I swallowed them down as fast as I could to try to get this pain to end. I lay back down and closed my eyes and tried to relax.

After a few minutes the pain killers kicked in and the pain slowly started to fade.

“What time is it?” I said groggily.

“Almost 9,” I heard Taylor said, “Justin’s concert is going on right now.”

“Well, why aren’t you out there?!” I asked turning my head to look at my best friend whom I was keeping from having fun.

“Because you’re my best friend, no one, not even a famous person, could keep me away from you right now,” she said nothing but that serious expression on her face.

I almost wanted to cry, “Thanks Tay.”

She smiled, “You’re welcome.”

“Justin’s concert should be over in about another hour and a half. So if you all wanna go back to the hotel, we’ll catch up in the morning or whenever,” Pattie suggested.

A nice warm bed did sound very comforting right now.

“That’s probably the best idea,” my mom agreed.

She came over and helped me up, dizziness soon filling my head.

“Goodnight Pattie, we’ll see you in the morning,” Linda, Taylor’s mom, said to her.

“Goodnight, get well again Colbie!” she said sweetly.

“Thanks Pattie, goodnight,” I agreed and we headed out to the car.

Soon we were back at the hotel and I went straight into the bedroom changed into my pajamas and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.



During the entire concert I had this itching feeling of needing it to be over as soon as possible.

Of course I tried my best to empty my mind and focus on making the fans happy. But they would be happy if all I did was walk around on stage act like a moron.

Soon enough though all the fun was over and I yelled into the mic, “Goodnight ladies! Payce!” and kissed my fingers and held up my usual peace sign.

They all screamed and I turned and jogged casually back to the backstage. I flicked my sweaty hair out of my face as best I could. I speed walked to my dressing room expecting them to still be there, but when I opened the door, the only people there were my mom, Scooter, Jayden, and two other people who were a surprise, Chaz and Ryan.

“Hey guys!” I said a grin coming up on my face.

“Hey Justin!” Chaz said.

“What’s up man?” Ryan asked; they were sitting on the couch.

“Nothing much,” I replied, I heard my mom chuckle behind me.

“I’m gonna go change real quick,” I headed over to the bathroom where I had left some clothes for after the concert.

I changed into the black t-shirt and jeans and left my dog tags on and I rinsed my face.

I looked up at myself in the mirror and as I stared, her face appeared in the mirror behind me. My heart rate sped up; I whipped around but no one was there.

I turned again and splashed some water on my face.

What was happening to me?

I grabbed a towel and wiped my face dry and put my hat on backwards like I usually did.

I opened the door and went back into the dressing room.

“Um, Justin, I believe I still need to tell you something,” my mom said to me as she stood up.

I noticed everyone else was gone out of the room.

“Here, come sit,” she said as she sat back down and patted the spot on the couch next to her.

I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach again and I came and sat next to her.

“Justin, honey,” she began; I knew she had bad news now.

I listened intently.

“Colbie… well… she’s sick,” she said.

I sighed, that was all?

“Oh good,” I said relieved, “I thought it was going to be way worse than that,” I chuckled.

But when I looked back at my mom she wasn’t laughing; she wasn’t even fazed.

“You don’t understand Justin,” she said again, I watched her; “She’s not expected to live throughout the next year.”

I felt my breath get caught in my throat, “Y-you have to be joking,” I choked.

This couldn’t be true. She’s only 15! She can’t be dying!

She sighed heavily, “But I’m not sweetie. It’s true, she’s dying,” she seemed to be starting to cry just talking about it.

I looked away and down at floor with a terrified look on my face. I buried my face in my hands and my mind was buzzing.

It was quiet as thoughts ran through my mind.

“Wait, so where is she now?! What’s wrong with her exactly?! Can we help? Can we fix her?!” I started rambling off questions as I stood and began to pace.

“Justin,” my mom stood up and tried to calm me down, “Justin. Justin!”

I kept rambling all my thoughts and worries just came spilling out.

“Justin!” My mom grabbed me by the shoulders and made me look at her, “Calm down, no, I’m sorry but there’s nothing we can do, otherwise it would have been done already. She’s back at the hotel, asleep and resting. And they aren’t positive about what is wrong with her but they seem to have found some odd tumors in her brain that trigger all sorts of things to happen to her body.”

I could feel my eyes brimming with tears. She really was dying and there was nothing I could do about it.

I just closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around my mom; she hugged me back and tried to comfort me as silent tears ran down my cheeks.

I soon pulled myself together again.

“Well, I’m officially tired, can we go back to the hotel now?” I said quietly.

“Yeah sure,” she replied.

I grabbed my iPhone off the table and shoved my hands in my pockets as I opened the door to head out to the car.

“Yo Justin, what did your mom wanna talk to you about?” Ryan asked.

“You in trouble?” Chaz chuckled.

“No, it’s nothing,” I mumbled. I didn’t really feel in the mood to joke around any longer.

A good night’s rest would do me good.



I awoke to the smell of breakfast food.

Bacon, eggs, I think I even smell something sweet like waffles.

I blinked my eyes open. The room was kind of bright but the curtains were closed.

I rubbed my eyes and sat up slowly knowing not to get up too fast. I then remembered where I was when I looked around.

The bed next to mine was unmade and was empty. Taylor was already up. She was always one to get up really early.

I pulled the covers off of me and grabbed my stuffed dog, Ooboo, as I stood up. I slipped my slippers on and held Ooboo close to me.

I squinted as I opened the curtains and looked outside.

I opened the sliding glass door, just slightly, and smelled the salt air. I smiled, we were in Florida!

I closed the door and went over to the bedroom and walked out into the hallway.

The smells became stronger and I heard voices. I continued to walk and all the doors I past were opened except for one.

I soon found myself in the kitchen, with 5 other people.

Pattie, my mom, Linda, Taylor, and a boy, with his back to me; he looked familiar though.

“Good morning Colbie!” Taylor said cheerfully when she saw me.

“Hi,” I squeaked.

The boy then turned and looked at me and I recognized him as my friend Chaz who I also hadn’t seen in about 2 years.

“Chaz!” I said happily.

“Colbie!” he said happily too.

I skipped over and hugged him tightly, he hugged back.

“It’s so great to see you!” he said happily.

“You too, I’ve missed you!” Chaz was like a big brother to me, he was never mean and he rarely picked on me. Ryan, on the other hand, was a little—

“Look at you,” he said pulling away and holding my shoulders at arm’s length. He looked over me, “You’ve grown!” he laughed.

“Well, I would hope so!” I laughed too.

“My little sister,” he said simply.

“Aww,” Taylor cooed behind us.

“Shut up Taylor, don’t get any ideas,” I playfully glared at her.

“I know,” she giggled.

I laughed and took a seat at the bar next to Chaz.

“Well, what do you two want for breakfast?” Pattie asked.

“Um, scrambled eggs, bacon, and O-J,” Chaz said.

“Same!” I agreed.

“Okke dokee,” Taylor said, she turned and got the eggs out of the fridge.

“So how have you been, Colbs?” Chaz asked.

I looked over at my mom who gave a look of ‘you tell him what you want’.

“As good as I can be I guess,” I answered with a simple smile.

I didn’t want to tell him just yet.

“Well that’s good,” he replied.

“How’s Christian?” I asked, I hadn’t heard from him in awhile.

“Oh he’s great,” Chaz chuckled, “You been watching his youtube videos?”

I laughed, “Oh yes, the new improved band-aid!” I imitated him from his new band-aid video.

We laughed, even Taylor was chuckling.

“Good morning everyone!” someone announced behind us.

Chaz and I turned and saw who it was.

“Good morning Ryan,” Pattie laughed not even turning to look at him.

“Colbie!” Ryan said realizing I was there.

I rolled my eyes, “Hi Ryan.”

He eyed me, “Come over here and give your friend a hug. I haven’t seen you in so long.”

I rolled my eyes again and laughed as I stood and went over to hug him.

I was short so when I hugged him I had to lay my head against his chest.

He wrapped his arms around me in a strong embrace. That was one of the things I really loved bout these Canadian boys; the great hugs.

I laughed. Ryan was kind of annoying but hey he was another one of my big brothers.

We pulled away and I turned and Chaz had Ooboo on his shoulder.

“You still have this thing?” he laughed.

“Yes!” I said running over and snatching him back.

“I’m surprised, considering where, or should I say whom, you got it from,” he said.

It was then I remembered.

Justin gave me Ooboo on Valentine’s Day.

I averted my eyes to the ground as the thought came to my mind.

I hugged Ooboo to me and I walked back into the bed room passing the closed door again and I put Ooboo on my bed. I walked back out into the kitchen and found Ryan had stolen my seat.

“I didn’t mean to remind you, Colbs,” Chaz said sadly.

“It’s ok, I was gonna go put him back anyways, didn’t want him to get dirty,” I said simply.

“Here’s your orange juice honey,” my mom said coming over and handing it to me as she kissed my head.

“Thanks mom,” I smiled.

“Here’s the food!” Taylor said, handing Chaz and I our plates and forks.

“Where’s mine?” Ryan asked, mock offended.

“You weren’t here when we took their orders!” Taylor said.

Our mom’s laughed, “What do you want Ryan?” Pattie asked.

“The same thing they have,” he said simply.

“Can I have the ketchup please?” I took the seat on the other side of Chaz.

“Ew, you still eat ketchup on your scrambled eggs?” Ryan asked looking around Chaz at me.

I looked back at him, “Yes! It’s awesome!”

He laughed, “Ok then.”

I was really hungry so as soon as I squirted some ketchup on my scrambled eggs I practically inhaled my food. I was done with my food before Chaz was.

“Geez woman! Eat fast enough?” Ryan asked me.

“Shut up Ryan,” I stuck my tongue out at him, and took a drink of my orange juice.

“Don’t you remember? She’s always been like that.”

I almost choked when I heard that voice come from behind me.

I slowly looked over my shoulder and gulped the orange juice that was in my mouth.

He was standing there in a white t-shirt with plaid pajama pants. Looking as good as ever.

My heart began to race, just like it always did when he was around.

He walked over and simply sat in the last chair over on the other side of Ryan.

“What’s for breakfast?” he asked.

I couldn’t take it anymore I practically ran from the kitchen and into my room shutting the door behind me.



“I’m gonna go check on her,” Taylor said excusing herself and following in her path.

“What’s her problem?” Ryan asked.

What a dumb question.

Chaz and I glared at him.

“What do you want for breakfast Justin?” her mom asked me.

“Anything is fine with me,” truth be told I wasn’t really that hungry anymore.

“Never mind, don’t get him anything, he’s not in the mood to eat,” Chaz spoke. Oh best friends they know you too well.

Chaz stood and chugged the last of his orange juice as he went over to the living room and flicked on the TV.

“You okay man?” Ryan asked me.

“Not exactly,” I mumbled.

“Maybe you should go talk to her,” Chaz shouted from the living room, “It’ll probably do you both good.”

“Ok,” I agreed, maybe it would work, “I’ll go.”

I stood and walked down the hallway to hers and Taylor’s room and gently knocked on the door.

“Hey, its Justin can I talk to…,” I hadn’t spoken her name in ages, “Colbie. Please?”

Taylor opened the door and walked past me quickly with a smirk on her face, “Good luck,” she said under her breath.

I was worried to say the least.

“Colbie?” I said as I walked into the room and looked for her.

I heard her crying, “What do you want?” she said meekly.

I walked toward her voice and found her slumped on the floor on the other side of her bed.

“I, um,” I couldn’t remember the reason I came in here. All I knew what that even when I hadn’t spoken to her in years it still broke me whenever I saw her cry.

I sat down next to her, “Honestly,” I sighed, “I don’t know why I came in here.”

“Then why don’t you just leave please,” she said quietly as she turned away from me.

“Because,” I paused and decided to just spit it out, “I miss you Colbie and seeing you like this crushes me.”

It was quiet for a moment and soon she turned and tackled me, “Then why did you leave?!”

It was no surprise, she was mad and this happened a lot when we were dating.

She sat on top of me and her face looked furious and tear stained. I started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?!” I was starting to piss her off I and I knew it.

“Don’t you remember doing this when we were together?” I asked.

She glared at me and I took this opportunity to flip her over and pin her down.

She yelled and frustration, “Why do you always have to make me mad?!”

“That’s my job, shawty,” I said smoothly throwing a smirk at her.

Soon we had begun a good fight and were rolling around on the floor taking turns at pinning each other down. (As odd as that sounds.) But eventually, I won; as usual.

She was tired and I was leaning over her keeping her wrists on the floor.

“You give up yet?” I asked.

She looked up at me still mad, “If it wasn’t for my condition, I’d totally beat you up right now.”

“Oh yeah, like you could beat this up!” I said confidently.

She laughed, “I could! You know I could!”

I smiled down at her; that was the Colbie I knew.

“I’ve missed you Colby Cheese,” I whispered.

Colby Cheese was her nickname. Only I, in this entire world, called her that.

She stared up at me with big, glossy eyes; they were just as beautiful as always.

Before I knew what I was doing, my lips were on hers. It was just like old times, her kisses sent shivers down my spine and my whole body to warm.

But as quick as it had started, she began to push me off of her.

“No, no, no, no, no,” she mumbled as she stood herself up, “I can’t, I just can’t!”

She ran her fingers through her hair; she always did that when she was upset with herself.

“Colbie, calm down,” I said walking over to her and cupping her face in my hands.

“No!” she said, and she pushed me to the door.

I was outside the room in the hallway when she gave me one last long look. She stared straight at me right into my eyes letting me get locked into her stare; then shut the door in my face, locking it too.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, sliding back against the door and sitting on the floor.

I needed to get her back; even if it wouldn’t be forever.