My Teenage Bucket List

We all climbed into the golf cart after Justin claimed the keys from the concierge behind the desk in the lobby. I sat on the very back seat that faced the road while Ryan sat next to Justin and Taylor sat in the middle, Chaz chose to sit next to me however.

I clicked my seatbelt and so did everyone else and soon the cart began to move.

“So,” Chaz started, “What happened in the elevator? You looked like you were about to cry.”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” I said.

“Ok, that’s fine,” he sat back and put his hands behind his head, “Don’t tell your big brother, your most trusted best friend, your favorite boy in the entire world-,” he stopped when I looked over at him and said, “Don’t even give me that guilt trip.”

He chuckled and wrapped his arm around me, “Alright I won’t, but I would like to know.”

I looked up at his puppy dog face which I never gave into because I had seen Justin’s and fallen to it every time.

I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder, “I’ll tell you tonight ok?” I needed to tell him about my current situation soon.

“Ok, works for me,” he smiled and hugged me.

I watched the passing houses and listened to Taylor, Ryan, and Justin argue about which street to turn down.

Soon though, we stopped at a public beach access, we all hopped off the golf cart and made our way over the sand dunes on the wooden stairs.

Once I was on the top I looked over at the waves crashing on the shore and the water that went all the way past the horizon.

The ocean always amazed me. I stood and inhaled the sea salt air.

I looked down at my friends who had already put their stuff down and ripped off their shirts.

Taylor was laying out her beach towel and she pulled her sundress over her head. I watched as Chaz, who was already down near the water, locked his eyes on my best friend and stood frozen for a minute.

I laughed and Ryan tackled him.

I walked down the stairs and laid my towel next to Taylor’s.

“Chaz can’t keep his eyes off you,” I told her.

She giggled, “I actually noticed.”

We laughed and she spoke, “As soon as you take off your dress, Justin won’t be able to take his eyes off you. I noticed him, in the cart, he kept looking back to make sure you were still there and well.”

I looked down at me feet and wiggled my toes in the sand.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” I mumbled.

“Hey girls! Come on!” Ryan shouted at us.

“You wanna?” Taylor asked me.

“Might as well,” I shrugged, and I pulled my dress over me and followed Taylor out to the water.



After what Colbie told me in the elevator, my heart was ripped to shreds.

How could I have just forgotten about her? I mean sure I was busy and that’s why my communication slowed but had I really forgotten all about her and not even noticed?

So if I had gone back to look for her in Stratford. I wouldn’t have found her.

We were now at the beach and Ryan, Chaz, and I pulled our shirts off and charged into the water.

I dived into the waves and when I came up and shook my hair I noticed how Chaz had his eyes glued to Taylor who had taken off her dress and revealed her red plaid bikini.

I chuckled, “Hey Ryan, look,” I pointed towards Chaz.

Ryan laughed evilly and went over and tackled Chaz in the water.

I laughed.

“Hey girls! Come on!” Ryan shouted at them.

I watched as they spoke to each other and Colbie shrugged.

I watched intently as she began to pull off her dress and revealed her small body.

She was pale but not sickly pale, she was skinny but not anorexic looking; she pulled her hair out of her pony tail and let it flow down her shoulders. It reminded me of Taylor Swift’s but was more beautiful.

Then, just like Chaz, I was knocked out of my daze by someone tackling me. The salt water burned when it went up my nose.

“Ow!” I yelled when I came back up.

Ryan and Chaz were laughing and then Taylor splashed Chaz.

I noticed Colbie was nowhere to be found; until she came up from under the water.

Taylor splashed her too and so she glared at her best friend and began to splash her and Chaz. Ryan and I soon joined in also.

We were all laughing and soon I noticed that Taylor and Colbie exchanged a look and went under water.

Once Ryan and Chaz stopped they looked around and Ryan spoke, “Where did the girls go?”

I looked around to see if I could see any bubbles but there was nothing but the waves.

Then out of nowhere Chaz was pulled under. I looked at Ryan and the same happened to me.

Someone grabbed my ankle and pulled me down.

When I came back up, Colbie was by me, laughing.

I playfully glared at her and splashed her in the face.

She gasped and glared at me too, I smirked and tackled her.

We both went under water and came back up laughing. This was the Colbie I remembered; with a smile on her face as big as you could ever imagine.

And that’s how it stayed for a little while longer. We all laughed and splashed and by the end of the day we were all laying out on our towels while the sun set over the ocean.

“This has been such a great day,” Taylor said smiling.

“Agreed,” everyone else said in unison, so we all laughed again.

See this is how it went, if you were facing the ocean, Ryan would be on your far left, then next to him was me, and next to me was Colbie, and next to Colbie was Taylor, and on the far right, was Chaz next to Taylor.

It was nice being so close to her again.

I noticed Chaz and Taylor flirting a lot and I got a little downhearted when I saw them slip their hands together.

It reminded me how Colbie and I used to be able to do the same thing.

I glanced over at the girl lying next to me who had one of her genuine smiles on her face. But then she sat up and lay on her stomach so she could face the ocean and look at the sunset.

I smiled; she was always fascinated by natural wonders.

So I did the same and Ryan followed after me and Taylor and Chaz did the same so we were all now staring out onto the horizon.

It was quiet until Colbie sighed, “It’s so beautiful.”

I had to strongly resist the urge to blurt out, ‘Not as beautiful as you.’

“Agreed,” Taylor said.

“She really is beautiful isn’t she?” Chaz said.

Ryan, Colbie, and I were confused and we all glanced over at him. It made sense once you saw his gaze that was set upon Taylor.

I rolled my eyes and Colbie giggled.

“Chaz is doomed,” Ryan mumbled.

“Yup,” I agreed.

“And so are you,” Ryan said looking at me.

I sighed. He was right.

We all sat in silence absorbed in our own thoughts when the sun finally went down and it began to get dark.

I checked my phone and it was almost 9 already.

“Um, guys, I think it’s about time to head back,” I said.

They all agreed and we stood and gathered our stuff. Colbie and Taylor put their dresses back on and we walked back over to the stairs and down to the cart where we set all our stuff. I looked back up at the top of the stairs and saw Colbie who glanced back over her shoulder one last time at the ocean.

I simply watched her, her chest rising and falling with her breathing and her hair blowing in the ocean breeze. The darkening sky all around her.

“Come on Colbie!” Taylor shouted.

Her best friend’s voice snapped her out of her daze and she looked down at her feet as she walked down the stairs and took her seat on the back of the cart.

“Is that Justin Bieber?!” I heard a high pitched voice say to my left. I turned and saw two teenage girls approaching me.

I groaned.



Here we go; Justin’s got some fans he’s got to take care of.

“Justin! Can we have your autograph and a picture?” the toe-headed blonde asked.

“Um sure,” he said putting a smile on his face.

“With Chaz and Ryan too of course!” the other one added.

I scoffed.

Ryan and Chaz hopped off the golf cart and one of the girls noticed Taylor and I.

“Who are they?” she asked.

“This is Taylor,” Chaz said happily.

“Nice to meet you!” peppy Taylor said hopping off the cart too.

I unbuckled myself, “I’m Colbie,” I smiled.

“Well, any friends of Justin’s are welcome to get in the picture too!”

I laughed in my mind and went over and stood next to Ryan.

“Here, Sierra, take a pic of me and everyone together and I’ll get one of you,” the blonde said to her friend.

“Kay!” she said cheerfully.

We all stood and in a line with our arms wrapped around each other and the girl snapped the pic with her friend’s phone.

“Okay, now I’ll get one of you,” the girl changed places with Sierra.

“Say cheese!” she said, and we all repeated, she clicked the pic and then they went over to Justin to get his autograph.

“Here sign our phones!” they handed him their phones and he signed them.

“What are your names?” he asked.

“I’m Sierra!” “Penny!”

I stood next to the cart and the girls squealed when he finished signing their phones. Penny attacked him with a hug and Sierra did the same. They came around and gave everyone hugs; even me.

“Well it was way cool meeting you guys! Thanks Justin!” they said waving and continuing on their walk down the sidewalk.

“Bye!” we all said nicely, and we got back on the cart.

“They were really nice!” Taylor said.

“You got lucky, some of them are vicious and would have given you death glares,” Ryan said.

Justin and Chaz laughed, I stayed quiet and watched the houses and palm trees go by as we drove back to the hotel.

I was worried about how well Chaz would take the news. He loves me, not like Justin did (or does), but he loves me none the less.

We returned back to the hotel where one of the doormen took the golf cart and we walked over to the elevator again.

“I’ll stay behind with Justin this time,” Ryan volunteered.

I whispered thank you in his ear before Chaz, Taylor, and I walked into our own elevator.

As I turned to wait for the door to close I locked my gaze with Justin on accident and immediately averted my eyes to the floor.

The door closed and Taylor spoke up, “So! Colbie did you have a fun day?” she asked.

“Yeah! I actually did,” I said happily. It was true today was fun. Just like old times I guess.

Then the door pinged and we walked down the hallway and I opened the hotel room door with the key card.

“Mom! We’re back!” I shouted.

“Ok dear, but shush, Pattie and Linda already went to bed. I stayed up waiting for you all,” she said from the living room where she flicked off the TV.

Justin and Ryan then came in through the door too.

“I’m off to bed I believe,” I said as I walked down the hallway and into my room, Taylor close on my heels.

She shut the door behind us, “I had fun,” she said smiling.

“Me too,” I agreed.

I changed into my pajamas again and pulled my hair up in a bun, letting my bangs fall on my forehead again.

Once I came out of the bathroom again and Taylor went in after I was done, there was a knock on our door.

“I got it,” I said.

I opened the door and Chaz stood in front of me in his plaid pajamas and t-shirt.

“Well, good evening Chaz,” I smiled.

He chuckled, “Hi! Now are you going to tell me what you wanted to tell me earlier?”

“Oh,” I guess the jig was up, “Yeah, let’s go out on the balcony.”

I led him out onto the balcony where some lounge chairs sat and the moon shone.

“Taylor, Chaz and I are out on the balcony, we’ll be done in a minute,” I told her.

“Okay!” I heard her reply, and I shut the sliding glass door behind me.

“So what’s up babe?” he said.

“First of all, I’m not a babe, second, what I’m going to tell you may be very hard for you to hear,” I explained.

“Aw come on, it can’t be that bad,” he said lying back in the chair.

“Oh trust me, it really is,” I said quietly.

Chaz just watched me with a solemn look on his face.

I looked up at the sky as I began to speak, “The reason I looked like I was about to cry when I came out of that elevator is because I told Justin all the things I had been through lately.”

“Which are?” Chaz asked.

“I told him how he had hurt me and how scared I am now,” I said.

He was silent for a moment, “Wait, why are you scared?”

I inhaled and closed my eyes, “I’m dying, Chaz.”

He chuckled, “Well of course you are, everyone is.”

He wasn’t taking this seriously, “No Chaz, I mean I’m literally dying.”

He looked at me, puzzled and confused, “What do you mean?”

“After I moved to Ohio, I became really sick, and my parents took me to the hospital, the doctors found some odd looking tumors in my brain and they don’t know what they are. They can’t confirm they're cancer but they don’t expect me to live throughout the next year,” I explained.

A silent tear ran down my cheek and not a sound was heard from Chaz.

“Chaz?” I asked, looking over at him.

He looked frozen but he soon shook himself out of his daze, “Um, I’m gonna go to bed.”

I was afraid this would happen.

I didn’t want to fight him so all I did was whimper, “Ok.”

I stood and went to open the door and Chaz followed me back into the room.

Taylor was lying on her bed and she had turned the TV on and was watching some movie. I went over and opened the door for Chaz but he came over to me first and wrapped me in a tight hug.

I began to cry and I hugged him back too. I needed a hug from my big brother; we stood like that for what felt like a couple minutes, then we parted.

“Goodnight Colbs,” he said kissing my forehead.

I just nodded.

“Goodnight Taylor,” he said to her.

“Night Chaz,” she said simply.

He closed the door behind him and I walked over to my bed and climbed in.

“Did you just tell him?” she asked innocently.

“Yeah,” I replied. My back was facing her as I lay in bed.

I tried to fall asleep and an hour later it was almost 11 and the TV was still on.

“Taylor,” I said rolling over.

I looked over at her in her bed, she had fallen asleep. So I grabbed the remote off the table that was in between our beds and against the wall and hit the power button turning the noise off.

I lay on my back in bed for about another 15 minutes but I still was having no luck falling asleep.

Then an idea popped into my head.

I stood up out of bed and slipped my flip flops back on.

I grabbed my favorite hoodie and made sure I had my cell phone and iPod and as quietly as possible made my way out of the room. I closed the bedroom door behind me and it clicked shut.

I walked out through the living room and grabbed a room key that was on the counter, I also snatched a blanket out of the closet.

Soon I slipped out of our suite all together and was taking an elevator down to the lobby.

Once I was there I walked over to the concierge and asked, “May I please use the golf cart that was assigned to room 542?”

He looked at me oddly but replied, “I’ll need to see your license and room key.”

That was one thing Justin didn’t know either. I had gotten my license.

He checked them both and handed me the keys.

“Be careful, it’s kinda late,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said back and took my things and headed outside.

One of the doormen again drove the cart to me and I thanked them as I pulled away and out onto the street heading back to the beach.



I know stalking people is considered creepy and wrong, but what if she gets hurt? Or lost? Or simply something bad happens to her? I can’t be responsible for letting that happen!

So here I am following in her steps and getting a golf cart for myself also.

I pulled out of the driveway of the hotel and wondered to myself; she has a license?

Well there’s yet another thing I didn’t know about her.

I turned on the headlights and followed her at a safe distance behind so she wouldn’t notice it was me. I watched her as she pulled into the same public beach access that we were at earlier today.

I slowed and watched her as she took the keys out of the ignition and stick them in her pocket. She grabbed the blanket she had and made her way over the dune.

I drove and parked my cart next to hers and climbed up on top of the boardwalk. I watched her lay out the blanket and she lay down on it. It was dark so I couldn’t see much but I could tell when she got out her iPod, I saw the light coming from it.

Slowly I went down into the sand and sat down.

I hugged my knees to my chest and just listened to the waves and watched the stars.

Then I heard singing, it was beautiful singing too. No one else was around so I knew it was Colbie.

I sighed and listened, I tried to decipher what she was singing.

“Maybe I was naïve, got lost in your eyes, and never really had a chance. My mistake I didn’t know, to be in love, you had to fight to have the upper hand,” I heard her voice sing in the distance. I knew what song it was, “I had so many dreams about you and me, happy endings, now I know. That I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairy tale, I’m not the one you sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell. This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you and it let me down, now it’s too late for you and your white horse, to come around.”

I sighed and looked up at the stars as I listened. A shooting star passed through the darkness and as corny as it may be. I made a wish.

‘Please don’t let her die.’