Abstract Sincerity

Kennedy sat in her bedroom on a big comfy chair that faced the wall sized window and she stared out at the rainy sky. She held a cup of freshly made coffee in her hand and wore her hair in a fishtail French braid. She was wearing a pair of maroon leg warmers on top of a pair of black leggings and a long sleeved sweatshirt that was about three sizes too big for her.
All she wanted to do was take off her clothes, run down stairs, go outside, and twirl around in the pouring rain and thunderstorm in nothing but her bra and a pair of panties. She wanted to feel the droplets of water work their way through her hair until it was completely soaked through. After that she would come inside and lethargically walk up the carpeted stairs to her bathroom and sit at the bottom of the shower and let the hot water glide over her already drenched body.
She shut her eyes and shook the fantastical delusion out of her head. She took a sip of her coffee and looked over at the dresser that currently had a stack of books piled up, waiting to be read, waiting to be loved.
Lisa and Alex had been back together for a few weeks now and ever since then, Kennedy has had pretty much all the time in the world to read, write, and do a lot of extra work for her law firm. She even considered moving back to New York since there was nothing of consequence going on in Maryland, but the minute she’d even mentioned it to Matt, he’d shot the idea down.
Right at that moment, Lisa was down in Alex’s kitchen wearing her panties and one of his button down shirts while baking cookies. The only thought, besides disgust, that ran through Kennedy’s mind when she found this out was who in the world doesn’t wear pants while baking cookies?
Matt was on his way over to the house now, coming to pick Kennedy up and take her out to a movie just to get her out of the house. They had kissed a few weeks ago, but ever since then they hadn’t talked about it and he hadn’t tried anything since so Kennedy just assumed that when he said he’d hoped they’d do that again, that he must have been bluffing. They’d been hanging out a lot – they were practically attached at the hip. They’d laughed, watched movies, talk about books, talked about music, drank coffee, and had food fights. To any onlooker it would look like Kennedy and Matt were dating, but they obviously weren’t.
Kennedy liked Matt a lot. There had been a reason after all that she had cheated on Alex during the one tour she’d been invited to go on five years prior. She had thought that she was an awful person because she thought that Alex was the love of her life, but maybe her subconscious had been trying to tell her differently. With Matt there was so much less drama and she there was more than just a physical attraction with him – he listened to the news, he knew what was going on in the world, he read Leo Tolstoy and Jane Austen. Maybe her subconscious had been trying to tell her that she was meant to be with him, not Alex who had caused her so much heartache and so much pain.
On the other hand, she couldn’t deny the intense attraction there was between her and Alex – physical or not, there was so much passion between the two of them. He had a truly lovely mind, but it wasn’t as knowledgeable as Matt’s was.
There was a knock on her door. Her head shot over to look at it, “Come in,” she yelled. She turned her head back to look out the window again. “Isn’t the rain beautiful?” she asked in an awed voice.
He chuckled behind her. “You always did have a thing for rain and thunder storms,” he said. It wasn’t who Kennedy thought it was.
She turned around and saw Alex standing there in a controppostro pose looking cockier than ever, but wearing his heart melting smile.
“You weren’t who I thought you were,” she said after a minute and then settled back in her chair.
“Who were you expecting?” he asked, curiously.
“No one,” she told him and shook her head. “What do you want, Alex?” she asked, getting up out of the chair and walking over to her closet to try and find something sexier to wear on her not-really-date with Matt.
“I just wanted to come talk to you. I haven’t really talked to you in a couple weeks,” he told her.
“Yeah, well, I kind of feel like you just wanted to have sex with me to say that you could get me to have sex with you again right before you ran back to Lisa, so forgive me if I haven’t been in the mood to really have a heart to heart conversation with you lately,” she said meanly.
She’d been holding all her aggression and anger in for the past few weeks, letting it fester, which she knew was never a good thing but she couldn’t help it. Matt already knew her feelings on the matter and he knew all there was to know so she hadn’t really had any one to vent to about it.
Alex looked down at the ground and his hair fell in front of his face. “I didn’t mean to do it to you, Kenne. I honestly thought that Lisa and I were done, over with, but as it turns out, when we talked everything over we realized that we weren’t – we were still in love with each other and neither of us were ready to stop trying,” he tried to explain to her.
“You know Alex; I get really sick of people telling me that they still love each other which is why they stay together. There is so much more to a relationship than just love, that relying on love to save your whole relationship is completely ridiculous. I know that people put a lot of stock in it, but if you can love anybody but that doesn’t mean you’re supposed to work out your relationship if you’re not happy and haven’t worked things out yet,” she yelled at him and pulled out a black and white pencil skirt and a black lacey tank top and throwing it on her bed.
She turned around and looked at him.
“I love you, does that mean we shouldn’t work things out?” he asked.
“You’re opting not to work things out with me so you can work things out with her. You made your choice, Alex, now you have to deal with it. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too,” she told him.
He looked at her window and then came a soft knock on her door.
Alex looked at her and Kennedy bit the inside of her cheek. “Come in,” she yelled.
The door swung open and Matt walked in. “So I brought sour patch kids, twizzlers, m&m’s – ” he stopped when he saw Alex, “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here.” He told him.
“It’s fine, Matt, he was just leaving,” Kennedy told him, but was staring right at Alex.
Alex scoffed and looked at the ground. “So this is who you were expecting, huh?” he asked and then rolled his eyes and walked out of the room.
The room remained silent for a minute and then Kennedy turned to Matt and clapped her hands. “Okay, finish telling me what you brought,” she told him. She stripped off her clothes and got changed while he talked.
“Yes, as I was saying, sour patch kids, twizzlers, m&m’s, skittles, starbursts, and whoppers. I figured we’d just get a large movie popcorn once we got there. How does that sound?” he asked her, smiling the sweetest smile.
She smiled back at him. “Absolutely perfect,” she told him. She put her shoes on and then posed for him. “So how do I look?” she asked him.
He laughed and bit his lip. “Perfect,” he told him and then she blushed and smiled a small smile before making her way toward him. She kissed him on the cheek.
“Thank you for this, Matt,” she told him and linked her arm through his.
“No problem. Shall we?” he asked and opened the door for her.
“We shall,” she responded and moved through the doorway.
They walked down the staircase and she grabbed her keys and put them in her leather studded purse. Lisa saw them before they snuck out.
“Oh, are you two going out!?” she asked.
“Yeah, we’re going to a movie,” Matt told her, pocketing the candy to sneak it into the theatre. She loved that he wasn’t moral about stuff like that.
“That’s exciting. Well, have fun,” she told them and gave Kennedy a hug and Kennedy had to stop herself from freaking out about hugging the woman who stole her love from her.
“We will,” Matt responded. He looked up over Lisa and Alex was leaning in the kitchen doorway, scorning at them. “See you later, man,” Matt yelled at him and they walked out of the house.
He walked her to his car and opened the door for her and she slid in smoothly. He got in the driver’s seat and turned on the heat.
“Are you ready for some bad action movie goodness?” he asked.
“Of course,” she responded and they pulled out of the driveway.